Networking
Networking means making real friends.
I took my kids to a four-day music workshop in Boston. The kids play fiddle music at home and the workshop is with a fiddle player they love: Brian Wicklund. But the workshop was terrible, so we quit the first day.
Now we are tourists in Boston. So I go through my list of people who …
How to decide when to work for free
High performers work for free. The difference between working for free because you’re a loser and working for free because you’re a high performer is what you get from the deal.
People often ask me how to become a writer. The answer is to write for free. You won’t get paid for years. I wrote for …
Some advice on taking advice
A while back, someone was interviewing me and asked me if I’ve tried yoga.
Right now a zillion people are thinking I’m writing about them. Because so many people, in the middle of an interview, decide they need to recommend to me that I do yoga.
The person tells me that yoga changed their life and they …
How to Ask Smart Questions
This post is sponsored by the American Cancer Society.
After I realized that the most underrated skill is asking good questions, I realized that I am not very good at it. I don't ask for help enough because I don't know what question to ask. And also, I worry the question will be bad and then …
How to Stave off Loneliness
Melissa and I had a fight yesterday. We have this fight once or twice a month. Someone who neither of us knows well will ask Melissa something about me just out of an odd curiosity about my life. Something stupid, like, What's Penelope doing for Thanksgiving?
It's stupid, yes, but I think it's even more stupid …
How to make a genuine connection with anyone
My friend Melissa is gone. It’s been two weeks since her visit ended, but I'm still so sad. I'm not sure if I'm sad because I'm really lonely and isolated on the farm or if I'm sad because I fell in love with Melissa.
I miss her taking pictures all the time. For example this self-portrait. …
Read More...Is it OK to be different at work than you are at home?
A couple of days ago, Louise Fletcher, a professional resume writer, blogged about my ability to say whatever I want and not kill my career. That same day, Kathy Williams wrote this comment on my blog:
My son introduced me to your blog which I appreciate. I am your polar opposite. You have complete freedom to …
How to answer the question, What do you do?
Right after college, I was playing a bazillion hours a week of volleyball to get on the pro tour, and reading a book a night to make up for the fact that I was tortured for eighteen years by having to read what other people told me to read. But when people asked, “What do …
Read More...How to go to a party if parties scare you
The party in DC was at a bar, which is a difficult environment for me, because I never go to bars. We were the first ones there because it’s our party. People started coming and I realized that the most awkward part of the party would be at the beginning, when you have to talk …
Read More...The science of love at first sight
This is what the farm looks like when you drive up to it.
For a while, I thought that the farm is really what I fell in love with. I felt an overwhelming sense that I belonged on this farm from the moment I got out of my car.
But also, the moment I got out of …
4 Twitter tips no one will give you
I think it's time for me to address the fact that I have 56,000 followers on Twitter but I have tweeted only 500 times. If I were an aging rock star or philandering basketball player, this might not be remarkable. But I'm basically a normal person.
So I'm going to give you four twitter tips that …
Befriend the intern to fire up your career
I am going to be a better person at self-promotion because I don't brag enough. Ryan Paugh, who was basically my intern when I met him, and now he’s almost my boss and definitely my social-skills mentor, tells me that I am popular because I’m interesting but that I suck at self-promotion. (He uses, as …
Read More...We’re nearing the end of email, maybe
The vast majority of electronic communication today is via social media, according to Paul Greenberg, a relationship management consultant. At first I didn't believe it. But then I thought about the viral nature of communication via social networks, and the statistic started to make sense.
So, I have been thinking for a while that I need …
Twitter can save your life
It’s safe to say that the majority of the world thinks Twitter is a waste of time. Yes, Twitter is a darling of the New York Times and frequents front pages of mainstream media. But Twitter gets coverage not because the intelligentsia loves Twitter, but because the intelligentsia hates feeling like it’s falling behind.
This post …
Chat with me tonight, live, via video.
Is this even a good headline for a blog post? I don’t know. Do you want to know what I’m like unedited? Read this blog post. I never post unedited, but my editor has a day job, and he has no time to deal with manufactured emergencies like this one, so I’m just posting this …
Read More...Underrated career skill: Asking questions
It might be that the only useful thing you ever learned in school (besides how to make small talk at a party) is how to ask a good question.
Most of us didn’t learn that, though. Because it’s so hard to teach. I know it’s really hard to teach because people with Asperger Syndrome don’t understand …
4 Lies about social media
Everyone knows that the best way to get a job is to leverage your network. And almost everyone knows that social media is a great way to build your network.
But many of you are making lots of social media mistakes. I know because so many people tell me that social media is a waste of …
4 Types of questions get us in trouble
How far you get, in almost anything, is limited mainly by your ability to ask good questions.
The problem is that we are not taught to ask good questions. We're trained to answer questions. But only answering questions doesn't make an interesting life. After all, if you have all the answers, and you're spewing them all …
How to recognize bad advice about work
Be careful who you take career advice from. Knowing who to take advice from is a really good skill for any aspect of your life, but especially in the field of work, because work is changing very fast right now. A lot of advice that was good ten years ago is not good now. And …
Read More...Does it work to mix work and dating?
I met D at a party. I was there with Ryan Paugh and a few bloggers from the Brazen Careerist network, and because it was SXSW and it was all parties all the time, I was pretty partied out. But the party was for Kirtsy, and I love the women who run Kirtsy, so I …
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Don't do what you love
Don't go to grad school
Blueprint for a Woman's life
Living up to your potential is BS
Choose sex over money
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