Nino and I sit at the table waiting for Z to come to dinner. He calls out, “One more minute!” from his bedroom more minutes than I can count. But I’m so happy he’s home on break that I wait. Read more
Z has to practice his cello. But he just wants to talk about how he can’t practice. I’m like, “Just fucking practice, just pick up the cello and practice. You can’t do anything until you practice.”
I’ve been writing about my life with my kids for twenty years, but how can I keep doing it when he tells me he can’t practice because he can’t hear? It’s not interesting to read about someone else’s kids unless it’s about conflict. But this is not a conflict. Because Z thinks his whole life is over. That’s like the conflict of is there a God or is there not? It’s such a big conflict that it’s an absurd thing to write about. Read more
If you do not stay home with kids, you’ll be annoyed to hear all the benefits of watching kids, because people don’t really care about what benefits could be gained. We care about what we could lose. This is true for everyone: Consumers, liars, straight-A students. Working moms.
This course runs May 7 – 10 at 8pm Eastern and includes four days of live video sessions and email-based materials as well as a weekly meeting with special guests for four weeks. The cost is $195. Sign up now.
This is a course for INTJs. It’s not like any course I’ve done before. But before I even tell you about it, I want to say you really have to be an INTJ to enroll in the course.
First of all, the INTJs are ruthless to people who are not like them, and honestly, I can barely cope with being in a course with them. Because even when they are trying to be nice (which they may or may not be trying to be when they talk to me) they can’t stop squashing other people for having weaknesses. Literal illustration: Melissa sitting on me because I didn’t wake up on time. Read more
So often in my life I have felt like I’m failing when I’ve actually been taking a break. After college I had various odd jobs and every night I read books. I read a book a night for a while. I used to ignore that part of my story — glossing over it and skipping from college graduation to professional beach volleyball. But the late-afternoon reading that slipped into late-night reading was my break. Read more
For a while, when I was pregnant and blogs were still new, I was the top commenter on my blog. And of course, every post I write is sort of an ode to me, or at least an ode to the current diatribe-colored glasses I’m wearing. So there was no need for a shout-out. Read more
The ISFJ course is here! It includes three days of videos and supplementary reading materials and a 20-minute one-on-one coaching session with Penelope . You can purchase this course for anytime, on-demand access. The cost is $195.
The only ISFJ I’ve ever been close to is an ex volleyball partner who was so hot that I could have just gone to bed with her and never gotten out. Ever.
And then she became anorexic and looked even hotter, and I felt so guilty thinking that.
I gave up so many chances to play with great partners because I just wanted to spend all day on the court next to her.
But this is not a good opener for a post that is supposedly targeting ISFJs. Here is a better opener:
My brother kept dating for a long time. He kept saying he was looking for a woman who is beautiful and brilliant and kind and fun. And I was like, shut up. You’re not even all those things. I mean, I can’t even remember the last time this brother was fun. The most fun thing he does is laugh at my jokes. Read more
This course includes four days of video sessions and email-based course materials. You can purchase this course for anytime, on-demand access. The cost is $195.
I have three siblings. All brothers.
We all know who my mom’s favorite is: Brother number two. And we all know who the smartest one is: Brother number three. But the one who is the most fun to talk to is brother number one.
(Before we go on, I’m sure you’re wondering where I fit here. I am smarter than brother number two, who we all agree is the dumbest of all of us. But when it comes to social skills, brother number two is so far and away better than all of us, that he would be insulted to hear that I am ranking one of us so close to him as to be social skills second best.)
So anyway, brother number one is the most fun to talk to. And now I know why: He’s an INTP. Read more
This course includes four days of video sessions and email-based course materials. You can purchase this course for anytime, on-demand access. The cost is $195. Sign up now!
Whenever I feel like I am a social aberrant because of how many corners I cut, I think about my ENTP friend Cassie. What do you call it if you are cutting more than the corners? Slicing and dicing? That’s what Cassie does.
Cassie is the only person I’ve ever met who has more ideas than I do. Cassie’s attention span is like, fifteen seconds, so her ideas flow faster than mine. Basically, Cassie stays with an idea long enough for everyone to tell her it’s brilliant, and then she moves on.
Cassie and I take little vacations, with Melissa. We do weekends away.
Qustion: What do an INTJ (Melissa) an ENTJ (me) and an ENTP (Cassie) do in a swanky hotel room far away from home?
Answer: We work. But it’s so fun to work in the same hotel room because we all like doing each others’ work. Here’s how it goes. Read more