detail of Lips Open into Certain Gendered Sounds (2016) by Ragnhildur Johanns
List of things my family hates about me:
I lie.
I misconstrue conversations.
I don’t remember what I say.
I exaggerate.
I’m manipulative.
They have all told me this. Read more
I’m learning to serve a volleyball with my left arm, because my right can’t handle another ten years of impact. I keep having to use my right arm anyway, to remind myself how to serve with my left – to remember the little details. So my right arm coaches my left. Read more
Nino says he’s having a heart attack. I laugh. He walks into my apartment and says, “I’ll just sit here a little.”
I have to put my head in my hands to give myself time to get rid of my smile. He asks if I’m crying. Read more
Detail from Tar Beach by Faith Ringgold
I’m meditating now because it slows down time and I only have 14 more weeks until both my kids are at college. When Z is reading on the couch, and Nino is reading next to him, I pull up a chair and meditate with my eyes open because I don’t want to miss this moment. Read more
I treat my freezer like a savings account. As a single parent with an unstable income, I know that when there’s an emergency I’ll use rent money, camp money, or even food money to solve the problem. But no matter what the emergency is, I can’t pay for it with frozen broccoli, so with food in the freezer, we’ll always be able to eat. Read more
I decided that as a responsible parent I should wait to get a new dog until my oldest son leaves for college. It’s his last summer at home. We don’t need more tumult.
I waited until after college applications were done on January 15 and then I answered an ad on Craigslist for a puppy they had to give up because they were allergic. They wanted $400 ahead of time then they’d bring me the puppy.
Okay. Fine. So Craigslist wasn’t a good idea. Then I found a site that matches dogs with new owners and I got matched with a dog that was coming from Russia but would be in Maine, and I wondered, what did I say in my profile that made people think I’m an idiot? Read more
Recently someone in my writing class hired a lawyer to tell me she wants a refund for the class. The lawyer sent an email to me requesting $25,000 in damages for his client. I sent this email in response:
Dear Sir.
I don’t give refunds for the class. I do not say anywhere that I give refunds.
It’s not against the law for me to have a student who didn’t like the class. This is a 12-month class. There is no law that says Lucy has to receive everything in the first two months. I have not broken any laws.
There are 85 people in the course and Lucy is the only person complaining. I wonder why that is? Do you have any ideas? Read more
I told this guy, Brendan, that I would write about his baby bottles on my blog. Well, first I told him he had to pay me. Then he sent the bottles to me, and I liked them, so writing about them on the blog didn’t seem like it would be that difficult. Also, Brendan has been reading my blog for a long time. It felt good to tell him yes. Read more
Negotiating is not a work skill—it’s a life skill. File it in the have-good-social-skills category, not with make-more-money.
People with good social skills do much better in the world than people with high IQs by all measures except for winning the Nobel prize for economics. So then it should make sense to you that you should think about negotiating tactics all the time. Read more
In a survey of graduating professional students, Linda Babcock, of Carnegie Mellon University, found that only seven per cent of women attempted to negotiate their initial offers, while fifty-seven per cent of the men did so. After years of analysis, she concludes that women might, in fact, be better off not negotiating.
Babcock is not the only person to draw this conclusion. Here’s why: Read more