I took my son to a pain clinic and every parent there was autistic

Two years into Z’s head injury we went to a pain clinic. The program was for families with a teenager in chronic pain, and people flew in from all over the country. Z was the only musician who couldn’t play music anymore. But there was an all-state field hockey player who hadn’t played in years but still went to every practice. There was a girl who’d been a ballerina her whole life and then suddenly couldn’t dance: she’d grown half a foot, and now her body was built for basketball. Her proprioception was off and now movement felt like violence. Read more

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Epstein isn’t the scandal. We are.

Ghislaine Maxwell and her father, Robert Maxwell

We clamor for the release of Epstein’s emails, but we already know what they’ll show: powerful men sexually abuse girls. What we’re avoiding is this: the U.S. government trafficked children as an intelligence operation, and we—the electorate—have spent two decades protecting everyone who made that possible. Read more

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I’ve been doing lots of interviews. Here are two I really liked.

When I was younger and using my job to escape from the scary parts of my life, I did interviews all the time. I was always on my phone. So smart and scintillating.

I don’t feel that now. I used to think it was my job to make everyone like me. So I’d be really chirpy. I was telling a friend that I think I lost that zing, and she reminded me that I’ve always been a pain in the butt to interview. Then she sent me this post. Read more

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My kids made me leave Instagram

I’ve been on Instagram posting my drawings and stories. But that lasted about a month before my kids asked me to remove posts they didn’t want their friends to see.

Then they reconsidered: “You know what? Just delete the whole account.” Read more

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Why am I subscribed to Penelope’s Substack?

I had email FOMO. I could be making a million dollars a year from my subscriber list! I read email marketing advice like it was porn — people say it can happen but I don’t think it really does happen.

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The British royal family has ended

Update, March 22, 2024. In a video released today Kate Middleton said that following recent surgery her doctors found cancer, and she’s now undergoing chemotherapy. I think a lot of what I wrote below still stands. But I have so much admiration and respect for Kate and that extends beyond my need to be right. So I’m posting this news, and I’m going to give her space, because that’s what she wants.

William is done being heir to the throne. Not completely surprising since ruling the royal roost destroyed the lives of everyone before him.

Maybe the throne would have been manageable for William if women he dated wanted to be royal. But only Kate would put up with it. Maybe the throne would have been manageable if Harry had played along. But that’s over. Now Charles has pancreatic cancer which means he’ll be dying imminently. And this is ruining all of William’s plans. Read more

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Making space for something new

I tell Z I’m going to my garden next to our building. He doesn’t respond. So I sing to him. We have determined that he tunes me out most of the time, but he doesn’t if I sing to him. He tells me not to take it personally but regular talking is really uninteresting to him sonically. Read more

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I have a love/hate relationship with INFJs

I hate them because they are so judgy. As an ENTJ I am too uncaring to spend time passing judgment on INFJs. But there’s a hierarchy of influences on our personality and autism trumps personality type, so as an autistic ENTJ I spend a lot of time expressing my knowledge about INFJs being judgy, and then I can understand how INFJs say they aren’t judgy they are just saying what they notice. Read more

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Divorce showdown Bezos vs Gates: Which is saddest?

Marriage with kids is co-parenting and ironically, divorce with kids is co-parenting: same decisions, same values, same uneven emotional investment. Going through a divorce just to co-parent from different homes wastes so much time and energy that some people argue courts should not intervene in post-divorce parenting decisions, which would legally call a spade a spade and make parenting while divorced the same as parenting while married. Read more

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How do you say goodbye to a dog?

Our dog died. Well, we put him down. Put him to sleep is what the vet in Boston said. Maybe “to put down” is only for a goat or a pig. I’m not sure.

We knew Sparky would die soon because the vet wouldn’t operate on his cancer. His heart wasn’t good enough. He seemed so healthy so I told myself I’d get a second opinion. But he got unhealthy so fast. So I just thought I’d go back to the vet to see if he’s in pain. Then he bit the cancer spot and there was blood everywhere. Then I stayed up with him for two days. Holding him so he wouldn’t bite the spot more. I took him outside. I gave him water. Sometimes the boys pet him, when they weren’t grossed out. Then Sparky started snapping at us. Growling. It was clear he was in a lot of pain. Read more

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