I’m a guest on this podcast. Does that mean we’re friends?

I’ve stopped saying yes to interviews because I piss people off. Or I scare them. I’m not sure I can tell the difference. If someone hangs up in the middle I know they hate me, but if someone doesn’t hang up in the middle but also doesn’t use the interview, I think, maybe they liked talking with me but they’re saving the interview for a really special time. In ten years.

I broke my vow of silence to be a guest on a podcast with Meghan and Sarah. They have a cool-girl vibe that victimized me the first 50 years of my life. But I think my time has come.

Also, I read that women are supposed to make a lot of friends in their 20s in order to learn about social norms. And then women cull their friends to just a few special ones in their 30s so they can focus on family.  So women are set for family and friends in their middle age.

I am pretty sure I’m still at the first part: learn about social norms. But I’m definitely making progress because Meghan and Sarah posted the interview! Here it is, hooray.

18 replies
  1. SeeSee
    SeeSee says:

    Great interview.

    You mentioned so many statistics during it. Will you post the studies somewhere? Or can you at least share with us the link to the study about men and women who kill people?

  2. Cheryl
    Cheryl says:

    You mentioned the book “Looks” on the podcast.
    I can’t find it, do you have the author’s name handy?

  3. Patricia Mary Nolan
    Patricia Mary Nolan says:

    I’ve been a reader of your blog for years and I absolutely loved hearing you on this podcast. They need to have you back again!!!! I’m a married 55 year old woman with two kids in college who should be doing more with her life at this point but isn’t (just background so you know what my problems are!) There were times over the last decade+ when I’ve disagreed wth you – but now as I get older – I see that you are right. I didn’t want some of this stuff to be true (I’m sure you know what stuff), but it is. All this to say – please go on more podcasts or start your own. I would listen religiously!!!!

  4. TQP
    TQP says:

    If the test with the index/ring fingers for women works, does that mean that we can detect it almost from birth?

    My 1-yr old daughter and I both have the longer ring finger. It might be genetic.

    • Penelope Trunk
      Penelope Trunk says:

      That’s a good question. I’m not sure if the finger test works at birth. I don’t know how fingers grow. But high testosterone at birth is genetic.

      If either parent has autism it’s so likely that the whole family has autism that your kids automatically qualify for Early Intervention in the US. It’s a free, national program that’s amazing for getting kids on a good developmental trajectory. I had both my kids in the program.

      Also, you can just tell Early Intervention that you have autism. If it’s self-diagnosed that’s fine because there is no official test for women with autism.


  5. Lydia M
    Lydia M says:

    I discovered you on that podcast and I am so grateful for someone like you 💗.

    I’ve been combing through your other podcast interviews you’ve done and love them. I would love more interview content like that from you. Your point of view is so refreshing. I’m also reading old blog posts you’ve written, sending them to friends and family. We are loving every bit.

    More please!

    PS. Your breaking news on H&M was big, I’m waiting until reports on the memoir come out to see how accurate your prediction is.

  6. angie
    angie says:

    I really enjoyed listening to this.

    It is great to hear you in person, given i’m too tight to pay for any courses or coaching. What struck me most about this is that while in print you come across more black and white in your views, you actually sound less so on this podcast. The bit about giving and receiving love was really genuinely one of the most touching things and I thought was a brilliant perspective on what to think about in your life. I feel like they were trying to corner you somewhat into a position that said “you must have kids”. I thought it was a bit unfair of them to ask you to tell them their problems without giving you any actual details about their life – but I love your suggestion for their podcast to reveal more about themselves and put themselves on the line if they want to grow (excuse my paraphrasing). As a long-term reader of your blog, I expected nothing less – but also knew that it wouldn’t be advice they would like (so many of your blog posts have this flavour when you read the comments)!!

    It would be interesting to know what their paid subscriber only discussion about the podcast episode was like – Has anyone taken the time to sign up to find out (clearly I haven’t, see previous reference to me being too tight).

    • Penelope Trunk
      Penelope Trunk says:

      I hate to leave this comment hanging. I did not realize where they stood politically until way after the interview. I should really just not do interviews. I don’t have the social skills to be let loose in the world. I don’t even know what to say. Except thank you for the comment.


  7. Madeleine
    Madeleine says:

    P- Great Podcast! Want MORE!! So damn refreshing. Here for the duration now. Boo on those who left your interviews in the can. Gotta leave those people where there are, I guess. Meghan Daum is great. My most recent bit of empirical evidence for this claim is that she brought you to my ears!
    Shine on, Ladies!!

  8. Lynn
    Lynn says:

    I just listened to the podcast last night, and…

    Wow, your editor makes you sound so neurotypical in writing, it’s uncanny. I used to be afraid to put a comment on your blog, because even though you always wrote sensible things, your tone suggested you were maybe not to be trusted.

    But as soon as I heard your voice, I thought, “nah, she’s all right”.

    (Also, I hated the hosts for not leaving space for you to speak. They just pretended they wanted to know your opinions, but really they kept exchanging mutual validation signals and leaving you hanging.)

    I think you could connect better with autistics if you let someone else edit your posts.

    Unless you specifically need to appear neurotypical in order to make money, in which case, fair enough. But I wonder how many more readers would benefit from less edited Penelope. Or maybe the trustworthiness only comes through in your voice. Maybe that’s your problem with friendship: too autistic for normal people, too normal for autistics.

    I know: even though you’ve always been vulnerable in your content, to me at least, the form was still too fake.

    Anyway, if I had a podcast, you’d be my guest every time. I liked hearing you talk even more than I like reading you, and your blog is my special interest.

  9. Hank
    Hank says:

    PLEASE, PLEASE I beg you to start your own podcast! I have been scouring the internet to find your interviews since this one with Meghan and Sarah aired!
    I just listened to the sneak peak version of your latest interview with them, I am looking all over for your interviews again!
    If you start a podcast, I will pay to subscribe, thanks!

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