My husband comes in the room. While I’m working.

I say, “I’m doing a webinar about happiness.” [At first I was not going to put a link to the webinar here, because people do not talk in links, and I’m writing dialogue. But you know what? I’ve been blogging for so long, and I talk to so few people besides you, that I like to think I actually do talk in links.] Read more

My son’s cello teacher is dying. This is the third time she’s had cancer, so this week is my son’s last lesson with her. He has grown to love her. He cried during a lesson a few weeks ago and she said, “It’s okay. Everyone dies. Now let’s work on Saint-Saens. You need it for the master class.” Read more

Every time I teach a course on a specific personality type, I learn things that blow me away. I learned INTP women look nothing like INTP men. I learned F’s sometimes misidentify themselves as T’s but T’s never mistake themselves for F’s. I learned that INTJ men almost always marry ENFP women. Read more

This course includes four days of video sessions and email-based course materials. You can purchase this course for anytime, on-demand access. The cost is $195.

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The person I spend more time with than anyone else right now is Carla. She is an INFJ. And, I confess, I said I’d never work with an INFJ, because they are too hard to manage. But I retract everything after working closely with one.

I met Carla when I was interviewing for someone to help me in my garden and the biggest qualification was that they didn’t talk to me. Read more

This course includes four days of video sessions and email-based course materials. You can purchase this course for anytime, on-demand access. The cost is $195.  

Sign up now. 

INTJs are only 2% of the world’s population, and female INTJs are the most rare of all types. However, the most common type on this blog among women is INTJ, which is statistically amazing.  Maybe every female INTJ in the whole world reads this blog. And almost all the super high-level men I coach are INTJs (Mr. Famous is an INTJ.)

Read more

Kate and I are getting acclimated to each other.

I am used to how when I was coaching Kate she thought everything I said was genius. But now that she lives with me she would like me to not be so bossy.

Kate discovers that the best time to talk with me is late at night when the boys are asleep and I’m too tired to work—that’s when I’m the least stressed out. And she is getting used to me having an assistant for everything. Read more

This post takes place in Beverly Hills. I’m just going to tell you right now that I go there to get Botox. If anyone is surprised, I’ll be surprised. The path to self-acceptance is paved with injectables.

Step 1: Try to change yourself.

I was going to write a big post about how I’m confessing to getting Botox and then I thought better of it, that it would make me look too old. Then I thought maybe it’ll make me look rich. Because honestly, Botox is really expensive and it’s not just Botox but also fillers. I don’t even know what the brand is. I just go to the dermatologist and say “make me look younger.” Read more

Why do people spend so much time telling you a list of books to read in your twenties or a list of places to go in your twenties?  Those are actually ways only to escape your twenties. Escaping by doing that stuff just sets you up for a disaster in your thirties.

Here are things to do in your twenties to make your thirties fun.

1.  Build a career that enables you to work from home.
The best way to get control of your life is working from home, because once you’re home, then things start to shift in favor of you instead of your company. Read more

We flew first class to Seattle so we could get the cello on board without a fight for overhead space. So imagine the come down when my son walked into the dorm room at cello camp. “Oh,” he said. “A dorm room is like a one-star hotel.”

I thought to myself: Who am I? Am I a person who flies first class, or am I a person who shares a bathroom with ten strangers?

There are cello lessons all day and we run around Seattle Pacific University with me marveling at the dahlias (are they perennials here?) and my son doing too-risky parkour (“Mom. I think my penis broke.”)

My son tells me I have to sleep in the top bunk because he doesn’t want to fall out. I climb up there and remember the kid down the hall who rolled out my freshman year, so I sleep on the floor.

Am I a person who has a garden that covers an acre? Am I a person who has no bed? Read more

 

Recently I wrote a post about how to pick a husband if you want to have kids. A lot of people asked that I write the male corollary to that post. So, here it is.

This post is about identity. How to see yourself. How to figure out if you can remake yourself. How to make a life that is true to yourself. And, put more bluntly, how to get the best deal in a wife given who you are.

For men, there are three choices: breadwinner, and stay-at-home dad, and  shared responsibilities.  Read more