High-income women get more oral sex. Maybe.

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It is well known in the sex research arena that the more educated a woman is the more often she will receive oral sex.

I have always wondered if this is true for salary as well. For example, if your salary goes up by $50,000, how much more likely are you to receive oral sex?

I cannot find research to support that women who earn more receive more oral sex, which is why I am conducting my own research on this week's poll.

But I have a hunch, based on a string of research that I have cobbled together:

People who are open to new experiences live in big cities (except for Chicago), and high-earning women do best in big cities.

High earning women do well dating because they are better looking than average, and because men prefer dating women who make a lot of money.

The highest earning women tend to be single, and women who are single and high earning tend to look harder to find those who are good in bed.

So, it goes to reason that women who make a lot of money receive more oral sex than women who do not make a lot of money.

Whenever I mention the fact that I have an editor for my blog, people ask why. Today is a good example: You cannot be a CEO writing about how much oral sex your own demographic receives without having someone take a look at the post to see if it's okay to run.

And, for those of you who doubt the usefulness of my editor, here is his input on the topic:

“Let’s assume that men give oral sex only because women ask for it. That’s probably 95% true. Then who asks for it? Women who consider themselves at least equally deserving of that sort of consideration -the women who are going to be better earners because they are educated enough to know that they deserve it (both the income and the oral.) So I think they are coincidental, not causal. A woman who earns more has the self-confidence (and the self-worth, boosted by external factors like earning ability, education, etc.) to ask for oral.”

I'm hoping that his comment is the first in a string of insightful comments on the causal or not causal relationship between salary and sex.

205 replies
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  1. malingerer
    malingerer says:

    So I am guessing you don’t get lots of oral sex or are trying to make a case for why you should? Is there someone you’re trying to impress?

    • Andrea
      Andrea says:

      Well shoot, right now my ass is jobless, and I’m with someone who *lives* to go down on girls.

      As willing as she is though, I have to say that my earning power (0) is definitely contributing to my sense of being attractive, or more precisely, detracting from it. I just don’t feel hot when I’ve been lazing around the couch all day feeling like I’m about to get sucked in like 7 cents in pennies. When she’s feeling jumpy I’m stuck on crappy self-esteem…the anti-boner. My ladyfriend is a sexual ninja, but it’s no good to be staring at the ceiling thinking about the fact that, “one of these days, I really should start a blog like Penelope Trunk says…”

      So, it might also make sense to match up the feelings-of-hotness factor with earning power AND oral. I’d be willing to bet that higher earners feel hotter and are thus firmer believers of the desirability of their bits.

      • Trode
        Trode says:

        It really takes a lesbian to understand why men love doing oral on a pretty lady. Ive been a male lesbian for years!

  2. Holly Hoffman
    Holly Hoffman says:

    This is interesting, P. I don’t agree with any of your reasons though… I think that a higher-earning woman is more likely to be educated, and thus will likely be choosier in selecting her sexual partners based on income and education as well. I would tend to think that men who earn more and are educated would tend to be higher-level thinkers who get off on the idea of the woman getting off, and thus are more likely to pleasure her in order to arouse themselves.

    Less educated, lower-earning men (in my mind) tend toward lower-level thinking, and are sufficiently satisfied to rabbit-fuck you until they come 90 seconds later, whether you’re turned on or not.

    Call it classist, but that’s my experience. The more highly educated and earning a man has been, the more enthusiastic he has been about my sexual pleasure.

    • H
      H says:

      I completely disagree that men who are lower-earning are less intelligent or lower-level thinkers. Many simply have different values- for example, are more family focused. I have a very demanding career, and my extremely intelligent and thoughtful husband has chosen to dedicate himself to our children. His movement to a lower-status career and reduced earning power does not suggest that he is in any way a “lower level thinker” than I. In fact, I think if you reversed the gender and suggested that stay at home moms or women who worked part time and dedicated themselves to their families were lower level thinkers, you would get quite an outcry. Making this assumption regarding men seems just as ridiculous in my mind.

      Maybe your experience stems from your consideration of men who are less educated/lower earners. I suspect that someone you so obviously look down on would feel less motivation to satisfy you.

  3. jrandom42
    jrandom42 says:

    Sounds like someone is campaigning for more orgasms through oral sex to reduce the stress of finding funding.

  4. Teague
    Teague says:

    I think “you own demographic” should probably be “your own demographic.” Isn’t that what editors are for?

    Thought provoking as always. Keep up the good work.

    • John H
      John H says:

      ‘Generous’ doesn’t enter into the matter.

      I’m guessing this editor doesn’t get many women to sleep with him.

      Well, not twice, anyway.

  5. Chris Young
    Chris Young says:

    My wife’s a teacher (low earner) and I make about 3 times her salary, yet I go down on her as often as I can. I guess I would be the anomalous 5% of men your editor refers to who actually *like* going down on girls!

  6. Monica
    Monica says:

    For whatever reason, I couldn’t pass by your blog without commenting on this.

    First, I think you are probably right about the correlation between money earnings and oral sex. I have no idea what use the information could serve, but the part that convinced me is how high-earning women are better looking and how men would work harder to date high-earning (well, really, just better looking) women.

    Second, I think your editor’s assumption is wrong. There is no way that 95% of men don’t enjoy giving oral sex. No way.

    Third, oral sex is not a “new experience,” is it? I thought it was pretty mainstream. Also, I don’t know that being single correlates with getting more oral sex.

    Interesting Poll!

  7. Grace
    Grace says:

    Actually, I believe less successful women have better sex. Worrying less = less distraction during sex = more enjoyment out of sex. Duh! Scale back on the career and you’ll have less stress and more time. Sure, money will be less. But you’ll be a more likeable person and more men will want to date you. I believe successful men prefer to be with a woman who is caring, supportive, and sweet rather than a woman who earns a very high income.

    • Johnny
      Johnny says:

      I’m not entirely sure it’s less successful women having the better sex although I fully agree with the premise of less stress equaling to better sex as the absence of mental distractions will allow for a greater experience of sexual stimulation. And regarding the activity of oral sex, it’s an acquired taste, but once acquired and combined with the knowing she’s getting off because you’re down there is orgasmic. I get mentalgasms.

    • Amy
      Amy says:

      Haha Grace –
      I just want to summarize your comment to make sure I understand.

      Success = worrier
      Success = less likeable
      Success = not caring
      Success = not supportive
      Success = not sweet
      Therefore men prefer unsuccessful women.

      Funny, that’s not what I learned in my path to the top.

      Now I’m not picking on you, just making a point here.

      I’m going to bet you DON’T work. I’m also going to be that you DON’t get much head either. Because since you don’t work, you owe SOMETHING to your keeper – be it kids, or blow jobs or dinner on the table, whatever.

      I think that proves PT’s point, eh?

  8. Carol Saha
    Carol Saha says:

    I had a problem with the 95% figure, too. He must not like giving it. On the other hand many men do like it. And I don’t think they care how much money she makes. There probably is more stuff going on here than the money.

  9. Stephanie
    Stephanie says:

    This is an extraordinarily vulgar post, one which cheapens your talent. Your insight and talents are above this, you don’t need to be ridiculous to get your blog read. You need to continue to provide value to your readers along with your terrific prose.

    • gregcnorca*aim
      gregcnorca*aim says:

      Reading all of her stuff the last two months; obvious she is not concerned with being high brow, she wants to be scintillating and edgy, true to herself.

      Penelope needs a late night radio slot, for sure.

  10. kleinm
    kleinm says:

    Look, I’ve got no problem with the content of this post. If it were on your personal blog about your life, or your sex blog about culling a sentence or two from a pile of articles to support a notion you’ve concocted, then it would be brilliant! But on your blog that was purportedly at one time in the distant past about career advice, it is entirely inappropriate.

    You really should make some kind of statement that you have decided to go in a new direction, or change the name of your blog entirely. Or, better yet, and perhaps more fruitful, divest. Start a new blog that has nothing to do with careers where you can pour out all the personal dish that you think people want to read, and keep this space about useful, not-thought-up-in-10-minutes-to-get-a-quick-blog-post-done information.

  11. gregcnorca*aim
    gregcnorca*aim says:

    Ok, glad that this keeps morphing into a sex blog because career advice is, on standard, boring. Do high power women like to be dominated to? Just asking.

  12. xJane
    xJane says:

    I think your editor hit it on the head. When I was working (and making more money than my husband), I took more control in our relationship. Now that I’m going back to school, I feel monetarily less equal and generally that my opinion matters less (especially when it comes to financial decisions). My husband has noted that I am taking less control in the bedroom (and that he misses it). So I think it would be fair to say that a woman who feels equal or better will be more likely to ask for what she wants than a woman whose feeling of self-worth is less.

  13. Dave
    Dave says:

    This is an interesting topic, but I’m wondering about the hypothesis of the research and how it relates to one’s career.

    First, shouldn’t the hypothesis be, “Do higher income women get more satisfaction from their sexual partners than lower income women?”. This would cover a wider range of sexual behaviors that may or may not be everyone’s cup of tea.

    Second, this could lead to a second hypothesis, “Do higher income men get more satisfaction from their sexual partners than lower income men?”.

    Then, you could make yet a third hypothesis, “Do people who who demand better performance from their sexual partners have greater sexual satisfaction?”

    I’m guessing that the answer to #3 is “yes”.

    So all this boils down to is those who ask, get.

    Very important to know in managing one’s career.

  14. Tracey
    Tracey says:

    I also agree that the 95% percent of men who do not want to give it cannot be correct. I’ve never had to ask for it yet receive plenty. My salary could be higher though…..

  15. Ned
    Ned says:

    I agree with the conclusions, but I think you’ve overlooked an additional important component: men who are educated and successful are more likely to give oral sex. I used to work in cornfields with mud-people who didn’t even show up to the eighth grade. On the whole, they were very anti-cunnelingus. Whereas part of being successful is knowing how to give to get.

  16. Jeremiah J
    Jeremiah J says:

    “Second, I think your editor’s assumption is wrong. There is no way that 95% of men don’t enjoy giving oral sex. No way.”

    Would have to agree here. My condolences to your editor for no embracing the joys of eating p~ssy.

    I think the whole premise is interesting but flawed. After a reasonable sampling of NYC women from various socioeconomic strata I can safely say rich p~ssy and poor p~ssy = edible p~ssy……

  17. Lou Lou
    Lou Lou says:

    Interesting post. It’s quite simple- if you have self-condifence, you’ll succeed in whatever you do because you know you deserve it. So be brave. Ask your boss for that raise AND your partner for oral sex.

  18. Brant Meyer
    Brant Meyer says:

    When you can make a post with this title and content – and have no one question your taste – you know you’ve arrived.

    I’m sure you “arrived” long ago but it must be nice to reap the rewards of years worth of credibility being built up to where you can just post – with no qualifications or justifications.

    Thanks for not holding back.

  19. Brad Fults
    Brad Fults says:

    The consistent moral outrage is hilarious and deeply pitiful.

    I think your editor has a good argument about coincidence, but I think you might be leaving out a sizable group: couples in relationships. I’d wager that “Gen-Y” couples are more sexually adventurous in general and that it has no correlation or coincidence with the female’s salary.

    If that’s true, your coincidence will only hold for single high-earning females.

  20. Katybeth
    Katybeth says:

    Good bye. I’m not offended, in the least,I just can’t find value in your blog.
    I do hope in the New Year and future that find your funding, heal your blindness, find a relationship that makes you happy, find great jobs for your children, workout how to be travel with children, never have bed bugs again, and I really hope that a building never falls on you again. I do think it would be wise to worry about everything, tho…because it will probably happen to you.
    Good Luck.

  21. Paul
    Paul says:

    I don’t get Men that don’t enjoy giving oral, the same reason that I don’t get why some Women don’t enjoy it. I enjoy giving as much as receiving.

    If you don’t get enjoyment from pleasing your mate then you need to find someone that you do receive that enjoyment from.

  22. Holly Hoffman
    Holly Hoffman says:

    Hmm… I think my comment got stuck in the “vulgar language” filter or something…

    The gist of it was, that I think higher-income, higher-educated women seek similar men. Those men tend to be higher level thinkers, who get off on the idea of a woman getting off. Thus, I think in general, they are more apt to be turned on by stimulating a woman, in any way, shape or form they can.

    Lower income, less educated men tend to be lower-level thinkers, including their sexual thinking. Thus, they can rabbit-screw (take that dirty language filter!) a woman until they finish 90 seconds later without a care toward whether or not the woman was turned on.

    Call it classist, but it’s been my experience that the higher the education and income, the more turned on they seem to be by getting a woman off. Including oral sex.

    • Penelope Trunk
      Penelope Trunk says:

      Good point, Holly. This seems on target to me. I wish someone at some university would conduct this research so that I could link to it.

      Meanwhile, of course there is no filter for vulgar language on this blog. I shudder to think of what would happen to all those good comments!


  23. The Sassy Sexpert
    The Sassy Sexpert says:

    First of all, I was going to make the same point that your editor made: that high-earning women tend to be more assertive and having the confidence to ask for what you want sexually can definitely increase how often (and how long) oral sex is received.

    I do not think the 95% number was to be taken so seriously either. Of course, there are plenty of men who enjoy giving oral sex but I also agree with Holly Hoffman’s comment about what types of men are more likely to pleasure a woman orally.

    And lets not overlook the fact that there are plenty of men who are selfish or at least oblivious in bed and actually require a woman asking for oral sex the majority of the time. Men can be very focused on their own pleasure (and the goal of penetrative) sex and perhaps, these same men would love to perform oral sex but their fixation on penetrative sex makes it easy to overlook oral sex.

  24. Jimmy
    Jimmy says:

    What about hygiene? Is there a correlation between level of education and/or success and personal hygiene? That is certainly an area of the body that if not properly maintained can present certain olfactory challenges.

    • H
      H says:

      Maybe if we were talking about extremely poor people who don’t have access to normal resources (for example the homeless who aren’t able to shower as often).

      But I had assumed the post had more to do with average earners vs. very high earners, or people with advanced degrees vs. people with only high-school or undergraduate degrees.

      As a physician, I can tell you that within these groups there is no difference in personal hygiene. I think its a bit offensive to assume that just because someone isn’t a very high earner/ doesn’t have a graduate degree they don’t know how to keep their genitalia clean.

  25. For the record..
    For the record.. says:

    I’m not single. I’m happily married (with two kids) for nearly a decade.

    I am college educated. I’m well-paid for my geographic area (but, hey, I argue I could make more). I am smart; I am a workaholic. I fairly attractive, though 40 lbs or so overweight.

    I get it …and I don’t have to ask.

  26. Conny Linugus
    Conny Linugus says:

    I will do my part in fighting this travesty of justice. Come on guys take the pledge… you can make a difference in fighting against this unjust disparity.

  27. prklypr
    prklypr says:

    This isn’t the interesection of work and life, it’s the intersection of salary and sex. So hopefully your next post will be about negotiating for a huge raise because I deserve a better sex life. Not sure how my boss would take that, though.

  28. Eric
    Eric says:

    Hmm.. I seem to remember a study a number of years ago that showed quite the opposite. The higher the I.Q., the lower the frequency of sex. Also, the less T.V. one watched, the lower the frequency. Housing was a factor also, the lower the home value, the more frequent the sex.

    So, people living in trailer parks, that watch lots of T.V. and had low I.Q.s were doing it all the time…

    Can’t find a reference though.

  29. karla
    karla says:

    i guess if you earn more there’s more reason to celebrate (e.g., you eat out more often, you socialize and hang out more often) — however, i think that it would also depend if the woman is a workaholic… i don’t think men give oral sex without looking for something in return (whereas lots of men get oral sex and after that, it’s done)…

    • Trode
      Trode says:

      You are exactly right Karla !   Men love going down on a beautiful woman and all the while hopeing she will let him take it further.  But oral alone is quite enjoyable to most men.

  30. Sidney
    Sidney says:

    People are tempted to put whatever casual factor they want (in this case money) as the one ingredient that leads to more sex. The fact is though that the inter-related characteristics like domestic status, happiness, income, attractiveness, education level that determine sexual frequency are so complex no study can pinpoint which factor is the cause and what factor is the effect except that married people tend to have more sex than single people.

    And I love some of the hilarious stereotypes like Holly’s above. Really…the narcisstic investment bankers who helped cause our nation’s downfall are really higher level thinkers? Are GM and Ford execs on a higher plane than average people? Does Bernie Madoff look like he is a genius in bed? This worship of people who make money as “higher level” thinkers is what got us in this mess in the first place. Sometimes a high income person is only good at making a high income. Some lower income women I have dated, ones with a healthy dose of confidence and lack of NYC type neurosis or S. Cal vanity, were far better in bed than their overrated, educated and overpaid counterparts.

    And yes, I am fully aware that in reply that I am stereotyping as well :)

  31. Sarah Stokely
    Sarah Stokely says:

    "Let’s assume that men give oral sex only because women ask for it. That’s probably 95% true.”

    Wow, that’s a pretty hefty assumption. Fortunately in the Venn diagram of sexual relationships, I don’t seem to have much overlap with your editor.

  32. Anthony Papillion
    Anthony Papillion says:

    One of the other things I think greatly effects the amount of oral sex high income women receive is assertiveness. Generally, if you’re a high earner of either sex, you are naturally more assertive and ‘speak up’ more often for the things you want. This, in my opinion, naturally transfers to the bedroom so high-earning women tend to be less shy about asking for oral sex from their partners than lower earners.

  33. Mark W.
    Mark W. says:

    I think a girl should have some fun with her blog.
    I can’t wait until next week’s poll.
    The comments are better than the poll/post today.
    I would guess the emails are even better.
    If Penelope can’t find a link to some piece of research on sex then I know that I can’t either or else it would be extremely difficult.
    It’s interesting to think about the relationship of more education, more money, self-confidence building, and oral sex. What about the frequency of the oral sex between Eliot Spitzer and Ashley Dupre and the oral sex and control aspects that some of our past Presidents got to experience. It’s not just salary and sex here. It’s the pecking order in the company, organization, or whatever else that comes to mind.
    There are some things you never forget and one of those things for me was a skit I saw by the late Sam Kinison on one of his videos. He demonstrated his technique for oral sex. LOL just thinking about his performance. So I was going to google it for the link but I found a better link at AskMen.com – 14 Oral Sex Tips is the title and it can be found at http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_150/199_love_tip.html . Good stuff.

  34. JC
    JC says:

    This post was thought-provoking for sure, and I’m not positive my own anecdotal experience supports the theory, but I’d have to noodle on it.

    That said, I’ll have to ixnay on surfing to this blog at work as this isn’t really a SFW topic…

  35. Stephanie
    Stephanie says:

    Well…I am all for oral sex, get plenty of it and always have, regardless of my income. I do think, however, that PT’s post is quite silly. It really doesn’t belong on this blog, in other words…

    NOW, having said that, I found that the more educated I become (I have a Ph.D.), the more men want to impress me in bed. My income has shot way up as well, but men seem to find that intimidating. So, I can’t say that my higher income has helped that much when it “comes” to receiving oral sex.

  36. SallyR
    SallyR says:

    This is definitely a thought-provoking blog post. Here’s my two cents.

    Cent number 1 – I am a sucessful 40 year old woman who earns six figures. I have been married 7 years. My husband likes to perform oral sex and is good at it. I don’t have to ask for it (Lucky me). I was successful in my career before I met my husband. My husband earns a good living but I make more money than he does. So part of the your conclusions ring true for me, but part don’t.

    Cent number 2 – When I was in high school and college I was very, very poor. I also didn’t have much self esteem. However, I had a fair amount of sex. Much of it was oral sex. In fact about 2/3 of my partners performed it on me and I performed it on them. All of my partners were poor high school or college students, non of them came from a wealthy background. I don’t think oral sex had anything to do with income or self esteem at that time. I think it was just what was popular at the time in my area of the country in my social circles. So, none of your conclusions seem to really ring true for that phase of my life.

    Oh, the attractive thing may have some validity. I’m not a super model by any means but I’ve always known how to do the best with what God gave me. But then again, have you seen some of that homemade porn – some of those people are way ugly and they’re really going to town.

  37. Margaret
    Margaret says:

    Who is this editor/idiot/loser who assumes that 95% of women have to request oral sex to receive it? Is he kidding, or does he just hate performing oral sex? It’s a completely inaccurate statistic. Furthermore, I can attest to the fact that my lover loves going down on me, and even more so when he’s trying to cheer me up. Because I’m self-employed and making absolutely no money right now.

  38. Slavek
    Slavek says:

    Wow. I hope your intention of posting this was to get people who were reading this blog for career advice to go elsewhere as well as diminish the credibility of previous advice given–perhaps a little self sabotage in a way.

    I certainly am not morally outraged in the least bit, but will probably stop paying attention to “career advice” from this blog. I’d been following your blog for at least a year and in recent months it has seemingly turned into a soap opera’ish story of your life with less focus on your insight and research on valuable career advice. This hard hitting career entry is certainly the icing on the cake.

    It’s funny because if you knew me, you would know that It would be far outside my character to spend time on a response to something so insignificant..but here I am.

    good luck!

    • Slavek
      Slavek says:

      Sorry. I strangely feel compelled to add one more thing.

      I’d love to see an article or at least a response on how this entry pertains to the mission statement of your company. Maybe a Venn diagram would be easier? Perhaps the mission statement needs revision? Or Maybe you should send out an email blast to your corporate clients to check out this new entry so they can “locate hard-to-find candidates.”

      This blog entry is just so ridiculous I can’t stop laughing. It’s funny how one poorly chosen article can make your opinions and advice irrelevant to a certain percentage of your readers. I hope for your sake that it is a small percentage.

      Verbose mission statement:

  39. rainie
    rainie says:

    I guess oral sex isn’t viewed by some as being part of life (as in the intersection of work and life)? People need to relax! We’re adults; can’t we have a healthy discussion about oral sex? Wasn’t there a long running series on television about just this sort of thing?

    I didn’t read all the links because I don’t have time. But I have to agree with Sally R. I’ve been poor and I’ve been middle class (where I am a bit stuck, it seems). It was only when I was living in the suburbs and married to an uptight guy with more money that I wasn’t getting oral sex and lots of it.

    So, I hope others will still take up the cause and strive to give women of all socio-economic levels great oral sex without being asked (do get consent first, ok?). But I think my low income, uneducated cousins are doing alright for themselves in the oral sex department.

  40. Alisa Bowman
    Alisa Bowman says:

    Hum, I’m not sure this is true. Aren’t there also studies that say very religious women have the best sex of all of us?

    That aside, I guess I’m a high earner. I live in a small town. I’m not single. I’m self employed. This describes most of my friends (except for the self employed part), and we’re all getting plenty of oral. So this is what I think:

    * We are assertive. High earning women tend to be. I’m the type of woman who says, “Hey dude, your mouth. Down there. Now.”

    * Our men adore us. They are willing to do anything to stay married to us.

    * We reciprocate. In fact, we keep them very happy in the sack, too.

    * Can’t speak for all of us, but at least a few of us wax, which makes the whole area much more inviting for that type of thing. The typical bikini wax, even if a small town, runs $90, so it’s becoming something only high earning women can afford. Might explain all of it…

    • Trode
      Trode says:

      Alisa, along with the smooth playground,try flavoring that is made for oral sex. Different shops sell it in various flavors and it is GREAT !!!!!!!!    Like eating your favorite candy!!

  41. Maggie
    Maggie says:

    I think money has nothing to do with it; looks have everything to do with it. Guys want to date attractive women. The more skills he brings to the party, the higher chance a guy has of scoring and keeping an attractive woman.

    LMAO Pam “more licks than a blow pop”! Possibly the best blog comment I’ve ever read!

    • Tom
      Tom says:

      Great comment and sorry about the late reply albeit 3 years. Just visiting this blog. Not trying to be too critical, however, have to admit that many women with the view that you have tend to delude themselves into believing they are much more attractive than they really are. Here in DC, that is really the case. The presence of so many powerful women here, I believe, somehow causes many to correlate their success/achievements with being physically good looking which most are not. I feel they sometimes feel a little bit insulted when I kind of don’t acknowledge their advances. They’re just not good looking for the most part

  42. LisaNewton
    LisaNewton says:

    I’m not sure I can really add too much to most of the wonderful comments, but the post is very thought provoking.

    Personally, I don’t get enough oral sex, but is there really enough………………:)

    But, then again, I would love to earn more money, so I’ll let you know if more oral comes with the raise.

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