Last night my husband and I woke up in the middle of the night to talk politics. We didn’t talk about how surprised we were. We went through the list of people we know who voted for Trump but wouldn’t admit it. We know a lot of them because we don’t live in California or New York. We live in The Rest of The Country.

If you live on the coasts you probably don’t understand what it’s like to be surrounded by Trump voters, so I’ll tell you.

First, there’s no discussion of politics except to say platitudes that everyone accepts as true. Because outside of the coasts it’s not polite to start disagreements. So a political discussion goes like this:

“Everything fell apart with NAFTA.”

“Uh huh. That’s for sure.”

“Hillary’s a liar.”

“Yep. She’s been lying forever.”

“That video of Trump in the bus was so sad.”

“It was so sad.”

Conversation among people who are not New Yorkers is not really give and take, so much as it’s call and response.

No one tells you they are voting for Trump. Instead, their kids tell you.

As typical homeschoolers, my kids know no typical limits for intellectual discussion. So they talk politics with other kids, and most kids my kids talk to say they support Trump. And let me tell you, it’s not because they are reading CNN.com voraciously. It’s because their parents support Trump.

My niece, also living in a state that does not have an ocean front, had a mock election in her high school. We are not talking impoverished and uneducated here. This is a high school with a ski team. And it wasn’t just that Trump won the mock election that made my niece leave school early. It was that her classmates were chanting, “Build that wall! Build that wall!”

What I want you to know is that Trump voters don’t tell you they are Trump voters.

It shouldn’t surprise you because the only people who have a voice in the media are in New York and California. And look, I’m not telling you this as a Trump voter. I’m telling you this a member of the media.

Does it shock you to hear that 80% of the writers for high-end magazines come from Park Slope or Montclair? I made that number up, but I dare you to spend a day reading the bylines. You will be completely shocked by how many writers live in these towns. The reason is that being a writer is a glamorous job that doesn’t pay enough to support a family, so the only people who can do it have spouse making a ton of money. And those writers live in Park Slope (Brooklyn) or Montclair (New Jersey).

So if you want to be a member of the media, you have to talk like them. Act like them. Or you are a loser in a small-town and not really counted as media. I’m telling you this to let you know how out of touch the media is with America. Mainstream America doesn’t go to spinning classes. They go to casinos.

We lie to ourselves when we think we know how the US thinks and votes. We lie to ourselves when we think there is anything in the media reflecting The Rest Of The Country.

Rural people lie to each other when they pretend they are having real conversations. And city people lie when they pretend they can represent the US in the media.

But there are more lies.

The Democratic Party propped up Hillary as if she was the people’s choice. She wasn’t. Even laudatory writing about Hillary was lukewarm. Poll after poll showed that Bernie Sanders could beat Trump and that Hillary would have a harder time beating Trump.

And I don’t know if Russia hacked the DNC or Comey is working for the RNC or what, but it’s clear that the Democrat Party didn’t plan for a fair primary. The Democrat voters don’t like Hillary. Why is this a shock? We knew this during the primary. Why are we pretending that the DNC didn’t throw this election away? American voters want change, and people do not perceive Hillary as change. We don’t need polls to know this.

And now, a word from South Park. I watch South Park with my son every night, so you can imagine that we have ended up watching many episodes more than once. Which means we are excited when a new episode comes out. And a recent South Park episode pointed out that Republicans didn’t throw a fit when Trump repeatedly said slurs against the Hispanic population in the US or against the Muslim population at large. Republicans didn’t distance themselves from Trump until he talked in lewd ways about women. Which tells us that the Republicans think it’s fine to be racist.

We live in a racist country. We live in a country of arrogant city people. We live in a country with corrupt parties. And we have open elections but we don’t have open discourse.

I think about Nazi Germany all the time. What would I have done? Now I know. I would have lied to myself just like everyone else lied to themselves. That’s how democracies crumble: under the lies we tell ourselves.

I think you read this blog because I spend a lot of time calling out people for lies. Here are some things I’ve said that people hate me for saying:

Don’t report sexual harassment.

Don’t hire for diversity.

Marry for money.

You put your kids in school because you are cowardly.

You are not going to earn any more money than you earn now.

Your graduate degree is worthless.

This is not controversial stuff. I mean, in terms of research and data it’s not controversial. But we don’t let people say those things because they offend our sensibilities. People feel compelled to tell me I’m hurting someone — their wife, their daughter, their career, their ego, whatever — because I’m telling the truth.

That’s why we are all shocked that Trump is elected. Because we are so comfortable hiding from the truth.

Do you want to know how to have a safe, secure work life and a personal life that is stable and fulfilling? Stop lying to yourself. Put your outrage aside and open your eyes to reality. Learn to understand why people do what they do. Just because the world is not how you think it SHOULD be doesn’t mean you can’t see it for what it actually is.

Redirect your election incredulity. Try to find your part in it. Try to find where you lie to yourself. Try to be more honest about your own life. The best way to fight a failing democracy is to try radical honesty. With everyone.

242 replies
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  1. Ashley
    Ashley says:

    I am an (older) millennial that voted for Trump and I feel embarrassed. I hate that I voted for him despite his racist and misogynistic talking points. But that is my lie, I am embarrassed because I am scared people will call me a racist and it hurts because maybe I am.

    I desperately cling to – Aren’t we all? Haven’t people laughed at a joke or judged people on appearance or thought differently about someone because we come from totally different experiences. Churches are extremely segregated, so are schools, the burbs. (Que: Avenue Q soundtrack)

    It makes me sad. If someone calls me a racist, the conversation stops. There is no appropriate response, I am not going to throw the lame excuse that “but I have black friends!’ There is no conversation or understanding or trying to understand or learning. So everyone sits quiet and hurt and mad.

    I hope I am not a racist.

    • Ak
      Ak says:

      LOL. You are ridiculous. If you don’t care about others’ civil and human rights, why should anyone care about your feelings? Have you ever heard that no one can hurt your feelings without your permission? I thought my generation knew better. You and Avenue Q are right though about how all whites people are racist, and I include myself there. That’s just how hegemony works.

    • Truth Hurts
      Truth Hurts says:

      real question for you Ashley:

      What was it about his platform that caused you to vote for him in a world where a man gets 6 mos in jail for raping a woman (Brock Turner)?

      I’m assuming you’re white – or at least not a person of color, so I don’t need an explanation about why you’re not a racist. But I’m genuinely curious if self-preservation crossed your mind when you cast your ballot for Trump.

    • Not Buying the Propaganda
      Not Buying the Propaganda says:

      Oh my God. What a number the educational system and sell-out churches and mainstream media has done on Americans.

      You’re a racist if you want to physically- or emotionally- harm people because of their race.

      Do you really think all non-white people LOVE the hell out of all white people? I doubt it. They don’t even love the nice ones. So?

      People naturally segregate. Who the hell cares? That’s only distracting from the real issues. For example, in mostly-black schools, there are issues with keeping the students uneducated (though that happens in most schools regardless of color). Address THIS kind of stuff.

      Go after the Dept. of Education and the teachers’ unions!

      But every-day people shouldn’t have to apologize for the color of their skin, or for having friends and relatives with their same skin color, for uck’s sake!

  2. Betty Peterson
    Betty Peterson says:

    Penelope, I hope you are taking notes here. This thread demonstrates why people won’t share opinions that aren’t deemed politically correct. There’s never a civil discussion about policy and ideology. It aways ends in an arrogant lecture and personal attacks. Congratulations to those on this list who have deemed themselves the final authority on what constitutes racism. Who knew there was so much for me to learn? Sharing the dictionary definition of racism was especially helpful. Now that I have been sufficiently schooled, I’ll sign off now. See you at the ballot box!

    • AK
      AK says:

      Talk about arrogance. Your attitude strikes me as ironic. And I’d be willing to bet Penelope is loving this and taking notes on how J’s and P’s can’t understand each other.

  3. Jennifa
    Jennifa says:

    Everyone keeps saying how this conversation is arrogant or whatever but I think it is great! The most civil conversation online I have seen. Have you ever read the comments section after any news article? It is beyond disgusting and inane and pointless. People here are using words and sentences without cliches! This is real!

    Although PT’s post seems inane and pointless, but the conversation I like.

    And I think many people saw this coming and knew it would be neck and neck. I mean, thats why I spent my Saturday calling democrats and telling them to go vote! What else can you do? Vote, donate money, call fellow citizens. I feel like I did what I could and am ready to move on. I am sorry that a bunch of skinny people who eat organic and drive electric cars and wear those boots and jeggings are offended, but isn’t that the reason you all move is so you could be in a bubble? Stay in your bubble, the rest of us will figure it out. And now that I think of it, everyone calling Saturday was older women wearing turquise jewelry and very short haircuts and young black people. No boots or jeggings types.

    The white working class voters that went trump don’t want free college, they dont want that lifestyle or culture, never mind the job part. And I dont know how you deal with that long term in a global economy. Cause even with renegotiating trade and isolationism or whatever, globalism will still catch up with us.

  4. Jim Grey
    Jim Grey says:

    For a year now I’ve been busily “hiding” posts on Facebook from my contacts there that were small-minded, or from so-called “news” sources that leaned way right (or left for that matter), or were bigoted/racist/misogynistic/etc. Facebook became a much more pleasant place to be, but the thing I didn’t see very well at the time was how much it became aligned with not offending me.

    Meanwhile, even though I’m a center-leaning conservative, I run in circles that tend to run more liberal.

    And what I learned on election night was that I was living in a bubble. That burst bigtime as the electoral votes racked up for Trump.

    Scratch that. I wasn’t in a total bubble. I wrote this last week, before this all came down — a post about the disaffected in our nation and why Trump appealed to them. I did see it. I just didn’t realize how big it was.

    https://blog.jimgrey.net/2016/11/07/heavy-metal-donald-trump-disaffected-working-class/

    I see people everywhere in my bubble crying and wringing their hands. I want to tell them all: stop. Not everybody who elected Trump is a racist/homophobe/misogynist. They’re just frightened of a changing world. Instead of drawing hard lines, do two things: first, come to understand where they’re coming from, and second, gently help them see where you’re coming from. Because both perspectives are valid and make up the whole of this nation.

  5. The Study of Humans
    The Study of Humans says:

    I’ve always known fear of something is a better motivator than hope for something good, which is why I initially expected Trump to win. The media did a great job misleading many of us and their plan clearly backfired – or perhaps they wanted this all along?

    Sue

  6. KR
    KR says:

    Voting for Trump doesn’t mean your a xenophobe, a racist or a misogynist. What it means is you could overlook his hateful comments for his promises. I hope he delivers on jobs because he has already given permission to the fringe factions to speak up in hateful ways. And every.single.Trump.voter co-signed that.

    • AK
      AK says:

      His promises were based on a platform of hate and blaming the other. We’re you actually listening to him? “Make America great again” has no meaning without context and definition. This is what makes you flat-out wrong.

  7. Stephen
    Stephen says:

    Everyone wants to label the Trump voters as racist but I think there was considerable backlash from white people, especially white males feeling a considerable amount of racism and sexism coming their way from the so called “progressives”. I’ve read more white male bashing articles than I can remember from basically every mainstream news outlet. I live near Dallas where 12 officers got shot at BLM protest. People took this as a serious attack. I’d like to see the race / gender politics be shelved but seems like the plan is to double down instead. Makes me wonder if we’ll be able to stay as a single country with these forces pulling us apart.

    • AK
      AK says:

      I don’t think you understand something fundamental about racism and sexism. They require the shoring up of advantages by a dominant group at the expense of the marginalized groups.

      White men are not a marginalized group. Does that even need to be said? Apparently so.

      I don’t want to be a “single-country” if it means being complicit in your need to continue to be superior at the expense of others, while acting like treating everyone else with basic human dignity or not denying them human rights is somehow infringing on your rights. Your rights to the dominant culture are default though, so you can’t even see your own privilege. Oh wait, I mean won’t.

      Why do you so desperately need approval and coddling from people you have so much contempt for, anyway?

  8. JP
    JP says:

    Penelope, I’ve been using your blog post to explain the election to so many people. In southern CA, this post hits close to home, and is…very accurate. We didn’t see it coming here, and we feel very shocked–excuse my generalization–by “we” I mean the majority of voters. My work (in the health and human services sector) isnow sifting through funding sources and trying to figure out how to keep people’s lives from going sour through many things including loss of public assistance. According to this article https://wallethub.com/edu/states-most-least-dependent-on-the-federal-government/2700/, CA is one of the states least dependent on federal dollars compared to the others, so I imagine this will be difficult for everyone. It’s hard to see so many lives potentially affected, but, I guess I can say, “Alright everyone, I’m trying to listen now.” Honestly, it’s hard not to tune out some of the offensive rhetoric that I’ve heard from so many (including many family members) all along, but I really am going to try to look past any hate to hear the real issues. If the real issue turns out to be hate, then, that will be a different story, and it will be a very hard discourse to be had.

  9. Jessica
    Jessica says:

    Penelope, I’ve been using your blog post to explain the election to so many people. In southern CA, this post hits close to home, and is…very accurate. We didn’t see it coming here, and we feel very shocked–excuse my generalization–by “we” I mean the majority of voters. My work (in the health and human services sector) isnow sifting through funding sources and trying to figure out how to keep people’s lives from going sour through many things including loss of public assistance. According to this article https://wallethub.com/edu/states-most-least-dependent-on-the-federal-government/2700/, CA is one of the states least dependent on federal dollars compared to the others, so I imagine this will be difficult for everyone. It’s hard to see so many lives potentially affected, but, I guess I can say, “Alright everyone, I’m trying to listen now.” Honestly, it’s hard not to tune out some of the offensive rhetoric that I’ve heard from so many (including many family members) all along, but I really am going to try to look past any hate to hear the real issues. If the real issue turns out to be hate, then, that will be a different story, and it will be a very hard discourse to be had.

    **Revised to include some personal info** I’m an ENTJ white female early 30s

  10. Lucy R
    Lucy R says:

    What’s this malarkey about “bubbles”? Why is “mainstream America” all the people who live in the middle states? Why isn’t mainstream America the blue states? That’s where most people live.

    Hillary won the popular vote! Not by much, but she won the majority of the votes and from people who largely live in those “bubbles” where all the jobs and progress and economy of this country is being generated. The only reason Donald Trump won is because we have an archaic electoral college tallying votes. He didn’t win the majority!!!

    Why do people who live in cities and make money and spend money and DRIVE THE ECONOMY IN A SIGNIFICANT WAY have to be the ones to understand and reach out? Why doesn’t “mainstream America” (whatever that is) get their heads out of the sand? The rest of the world is terrified of us, of those red state people. The rest of the modern world aligns with the blue states in this country.

    Why don’t the polite people of Wisconsin and wherever else buck up and shoulder a little responsibility for modern ideas and modern discourse?

    • Laura
      Laura says:

      You don’t have time to ponder these questions when you are working all day at the local Kwik Trip and then pulling the 10 pm – 6 am shift at Pick N Save to pay for your 300 percent healthcare premium increase. This is basic Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs,
      people!

      • AK
        AK says:

        I agree with you. But it is a lie to tell ourselves that a Trump victory was delivered by the working poor. I think that’s part of Penelope’s point. It was the middle-income whites that delivered this victory. $70,000 a year is not struggling, and that attitude is insulting to those that truly struggle. For myself, I think of it like when the people making $250,000 a year start complaining to us about how squeezed they are…(and I am not trying to call out Penelope with that. I typed it before I thought about where I am).

  11. TENZING THINLEY
    TENZING THINLEY says:

    Diversity is good. It brings new perspectives, new ideas, it stimulates creativity, it brings compassion into society, it helps one forget about the pigmentation of their skin and helps one get in touch with their human side, it creates equality, it enhances quality of life, it slowly helps eliminate ideologies, it teaches to compromise and it teaches us self awareness. A traveler from a diverse community has a great time abroad while a traveler from a close minded society pretty much hates the experience. I can personally attest to that from my experiences traveling globally with may family for the past three years. Diversity produced one of our greatest presidents, Obama. His ego is fed by a compassionate nature he developed during his younger days. Trump’s ego is pure ego-it feeds on itself and it requires that those that surround him feed it or are fired. The role of government is to implement compassion into society, compassion can take many forms-innovation, freedom of individuality, creating efficiencies and making sure a security blanket can help the lowest on the economic ladder make their way up again. Ego for the sake of ego leads to authoritarianism. Yes there are components of racism, greed and cluelessness in this race but the main component is that society has unknowingly transitioned from a compassionate governance to one of the ego. This is what we have inherited.

  12. TENZIN THINLEY
    TENZIN THINLEY says:

    Diversity is good. It brings new perspectives, new ideas, it stimulates creativity, it brings compassion into society, it helps one forget about the pigmentation of their skin and helps one get in touch with their human side, it creates equality, it enhances quality of life, it slowly helps eliminate ideologies, it teaches to compromise and it teaches us self awareness. A traveler from a diverse community has a great time abroad while a traveler from a close minded society pretty much hates the experience. I can personally attest to that from my experiences traveling globally with my family for the past three years. Diversity produced one of our greatest presidents, Obama. His ego is fed by a compassionate nature he developed during his younger days. Trump’s ego is pure ego-it feeds on itself and it requires that those that surround him feed it or are fired. The role of government is to implement compassion into society, compassion can take many forms-innovation, freedom of individuality, creating efficiencies and making sure a security blanket can help the lowest on the economic ladder make their way up again. Ego for the sake of ego leads to authoritarianism. Yes there are components of racism, greed and cluelessness in this race but the main component is that society has unknowingly transitioned from a compassionate governance to one of the ego. This is what we have inherited.

  13. DMom
    DMom says:

    Longtime ENFP reader who loves this blog and the comments. I’m also a homeschooling mom with a law degree from a top NYC school, who has lived and worked in Manhattan, Park Slope, SF, CO, and now lives ” in the sticks” in New England. I’m also a raw-milk-drinking, Subaru-driving, Whole-Foods-shopping CSA member of several local farms.

    And I voted for Trump.

    Enthusiastically.

    Most of you seem to be saying that the same people who elected Obama twice – TWICE! – are now racist scum.

    Got it.

    You might want to consider that this way of thinking is exactly why Trump won.

    Those of us who question ” conventional wisdom” are sick of being told we’re racists, xenophobes, homophobes, and haters. We are sick of being told that we must think a certain way – YOUR way -about everything. And we’re supposedly the intolerant ones?

    Please excuse me, however, if I don’t want a man-who-thinks-he’s-a-woman-trapped- inside-of-a-man’s-body showering in the locker room with my young daughters. Please forgive me if I happen to notice that most, if not all, current terrorism is propagated by members of a certain religion – and it ain’t the Hindus. Please forgive me for wanting immigration laws that are as strict and are as consistently enforced as those of our neighbors Mexico and Canada. Please forgive me for noticing that my health insurance premium is now over $1500 a month, and that although I liked my doctor, I couldn’t keep my doctor.

    If any or all of the above makes me a racist/hater/xenophobe, then I plead guilty on all counts.

    If you had bothered to ask a Trump voter – if you even know any personally – you’d find that many Trump voters are average, unassuming, hardworking, everyday people who are fed up with the thought police, political correctness, government fraud/corruption/waste/overreach/double standards, and indeed do have the gall to be upset about our $1500 month health insurance premiums.

    We voted for Trump in spite of his many shortcomings (and few of you seem to acknowledge that Clinton has a good deal of her own), because the alternative was either 1) even more distasteful to us, or 2) would mean more of the same ole shit.

    Have you ever heard of Diamond and Silk? If not, please Google them to see what you missed this election cycle. They were on the Trump train long before it was a thing. Are these ladies racist or are they just uneducated, brainwashed, misguided, traitors to their race, who need to watch MSNBC in order to get their heads on straight?

    Beleive it or not, I know how you feel, because I felt the exact same way after Obama was elected both times: “How could people be so stupid?” “How can’t they see what a fraud he is?” , etc., etc. And the shock that I felt was because I had completely immersed myself in one-sided radio programs, websites, and social interactions – i.e., I created a bubble around myself and believed the BS that I was hearing because everything I heard or read reinforced what I already “knew” to be “true, ” and I completely dismissed the opposition.

    To my own detriment.

    Take Penelope’s fantastic advice. Branch out. Visit different websites. Turn off the freaking TV – all networ news has a bias and is only giving you what they want you to hear or believe, and, moreover, Rachel Maddow doesn’t care about you! Challenge your beliefs by engaging in conversations with those with whom you can discuss these issues without them (or you!!!) taking things personally. Politics shouldn’t be anyone’s religion, and not everyone thinks like you or sees what you see. (And that’s a good thing!)

    And, if the prospect of a Trump presidency still terrifies you, I encourage you to consider (embrace?) the idea of a much more limited federal government.

    • Kelly DeFelice
      Kelly DeFelice says:

      Thank you for your wonderfully thought out response. Guess what, I am a post-op transsexual woman and I voted for Trump. Of course my “community” would hate me if they knew…maybe that’s why I avoid most of them at all costs. I don’t support the recent bathroom issue either. I never set foot in the Women’s room until I had court docs in hand that legally changed my name and gender. These people know there is a process to follow, but they’re just way too lazy. I am very successful in my career and am accepted by most people I run into because I live my life and don’t expect any special consideration. Pretty easy to do. But the point is, Trump’s opposition attempted to paint him as all these “ists”, and still does, assuming identity politics is the way to win elections. He is no more any of theses “ists” than they are, maybe even less so. This is not the way to win an election, might have been at one time, but not anymore. Anyway, it would be nice if the opposition would accept reality like me and half the country did 8 years ago and move on. After all, we have careers to focus on, right?

  14. Andrew
    Andrew says:

    I won’t swim in the honey truck, but…

    Penelope, the “Democrat Party” is a label invented by ideological opponents to sound like “autocrat” or “bureaucrat”. It’s equivalent to calling the Republican Party “Repugnicans” or similar.

    You hear it all the time in rural America, and on Fox News. Most people don’t know the origins any more.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democrat_Party_(epithet)

  15. Dave
    Dave says:

    I’ve voted R for most of my life. I refused to vote for Trump. I even considered voting for Hillary because Trump scares me. But, knowing what I know about her, I just couldn’t do it. Besides in my state, Hillary killed the Donald and I knew that would happen last year, no matter who the R’s chose.

    I believe a lot of Trump voters were against Hillary, not for Trump. And vice versa. They weren’t racists, xenophobic or any other “ists”. They just couldn’t stand Hillary.

    • AK
      AK says:

      You could be right, but I don’t understand what was a big deal about Clinton. What was it you knew? We do know for a fact that Trump thinks the crimes of sexual assault and housing discrimination are okay. Evidence cited by experts (and his own suggestions) strongly suggests he supports Russia spying on US political activities. He had said we should be allies of Putin’s in upholding the Assad regime. He thinks if you’re Mexican, you’re more likely to be a rapist. I have never heard expert evidence, including from the FBI, or anything from Clinton herself that comes close to this.

      To only pay attention to the facts you like, or be more inclined towards those that uphold your own biases, suggests to me that the underlying motivations would be influenced by dominant cultural racism and sexism.

      • Dave
        Dave says:

        I remembered Hillary and Bill’s antics while in the White House the last time. Her being in charge of Bimbo Eruptions. Her going into a smoke filled room post Bill’s Election to come out with a Health care plan that tried to control 15% of the economy. Her straight up lies about Benghazi being the result of some video and not the 9-11 terrorist action she knew it was to protect the president in the election. Her penchant for secrecy and personal email server with 30,000 emails she deleted. Her stand against gay marriage until she was for it. Her being under sniper fire when she wasn’t, and on and on. All the crap Bill did that she had to have been complicit with. The truth is, if she said it was say, I’d reflexively say it was night.

        Her opponent is a world class douchebag. He scared me off over a year ago with his 1930s Hitler approach. All the scummy stuff he ever said and did. I wouldn’t vote for him for assistant deputy dog catcher, let alone POTUS.

        I believe the media played themselves. They were in the bag for Hillary and when they started showing all the stuff Trump was saying to show how stupid and “ist” the Republicans are, they took all the oxygen out of the room for the legitamate, civil grown ups in the room, all 142 of them.

        Both sides put up the most despicable in their ranks. Who knows why they did that.

        As I said before, I don’t blame folks for voting anti Trump or anti Hillary.

        A big part of my lack of passion is my belief that it’s all for nothing. In my state, Ds out number Rs by 2:1. If I get worked up, it won’t amount to a hill of beans.

        I’m still going to stand by my LGBTQ friends and family, and against discrimination of any kind for all the rest of the folks that need middle aged, middle class white guys to say enough is enough. You might want to see my website to see some of the work I am passionate about.

        Thanks for the civil discourse!

      • Dave
        Dave says:

        I missed this last part: “To only pay attention to the facts you like, or be more inclined towards those that uphold your own biases, suggests to me that the underlying motivations would be influenced by dominant cultural racism and sexism.”

        Reflexively accusing me of being racist and sexist because I am opposed to your candidate is unlikely to persuade me to join your side. I admit to understanding more about the white and male privelege in the last few years that I have than I used to (and working on that) , but that doesn’t make me racist or sexist.

  16. Anon
    Anon says:

    A large segment of the American public just elected Hitler. Again.

    And apparently they have no idea what they just did.

  17. Adam
    Adam says:

    I mostly agree with your article, but I think it’s important to put this in perspective by noting that Hillary Clinton appears to be winning a plurality of the popular vote, 60,981,118 to Trump’s 60,350,241, according to Google’s search results page at the moment “US election results”.

    • vote fraud
      vote fraud says:

      Assuming the votes weren’t rigged in Hill’s favor. So, that’s why she was so dang shocked that she lost. Evening rigging the votes couldn’t cancel out every single vote for someone else (and obviously there were a lot of them if x number were canceled out).

      I was tremendously shocked that she didn’t win, my being totally convinced she’d rig the votes.

      I was NOT shocked that the polls and elite-controlled media all planned on a Hill win. I just assumed that they weren’t accurately-reporting (as per usual).

  18. DL
    DL says:

    I’m from rural Wisconsin and knew as we stood in line to vote that my husband and I were likely the only two in the town hall voting for Hillary. As it turned out our township voted 823/Trump, 201/Hillary.

    One issue Penelope failed to mention is one that was a deciding factor in rural, conservative communities: abortion. For many Christians, fighting abortion is their only political agenda. The RNC was brilliant when it took a stance against abortion because it will always have the religious right’s automatic vote no matter what else they do.

    Over the years I’ve learned to vote Democrat quietly. Even though I’m Christian, too many times my church-going peers accused me of being a baby-killing hypocrite. I personally don’t feel the RNC cares one iota about Pro-Life. In fact, as long as corporate America continues to profit from abortion, Republicans will allow it to continue. In the meantime, these same churchgoers spew judgement on immigrants. They’re apathetic towards people in need. They obsess over their own rights, but care little for those of others. Isn’t it interesting how this election has turned the tables? Now they have to keep quiet about who they voted for.

  19. harris497
    harris497 says:

    Penny,

    Anger doesn’t predispose anyone to listen to someone they consider “other.” And there has been alot of anger generated by this election.
    This one will take time for the country to digest, but eventually it will. Sure there’ll be news stories about the societal outliers who preach hate, and stories of the behavioral aberrations (fights and hate acts) that are inevitable given the tension and the hype that has been the norm for the last 2 months. But most people want to get along and see their fellow citizens do well. Let’s try to understand what has happened and see why it could happen- hint, disenfranchised people seek to belong and to be taken seriously. Who are the disenfranchised among us today? As Penny has said, the media says one thing, but what do we see when we look out our windows when we drive through a neighborhood we don’t usually visit, or talk to people from a different economic class, or state, or line of work? The signs and clues are / were always there, we have not been listening. Please read, “Why Does the (White) Lower Middle Class Vote Republican?” by Leon Friedman, and apply it to all disenfranchised people from parts of the country that have been the butt of jokes and admonitions for the last 10 years http://www.huffingtonpost.com/leon-friedman/why-does-the-white-lower-_b_8442162.html

    Now you know why Trump won.

    My2centsworth…

  20. Liz
    Liz says:

    Just a few things.

    Don’t call Hillary Clinton a weak candidate:
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/14/hillary-clinton-defeat-republicans-trump-comey

    The Myths Democrats Swallowed That Cost Them the Presidential Election (or: nothing was rigged and Bernie could not magically have won)
    http://europe.newsweek.com/myths-cost-democrats-presidential-election-521044?rm=eu

    Going back to a previous post of yours, then the reason Danish people are happy has nothing to do with having a special word for it. Having a most homogeneous population might come into it, I’ll give you that, but mostly the Danes have a country with very high taxes which means universal health care, child care, schooling, benefits, the lot. (Also, no guns.) It’s not perfect, but it tries to have a safety net that works.

    If people don’t stare financial ruin in the face when they lose their job or get sick, they will be happier.

    I’m sorry if all this has been said before, but I didn’t have time to read all the comments. And before someone yells at me: I don’t have a horse in this race – all I can do is watch from the other side of the ocean, and worry about the future. Both yours and ours.

  21. Chris
    Chris says:

    Older Americans voted for Trump.
    It appears that, under the Trump Administration, Paul Ryan will try and probably succeed in voucher-izing Medicare, which is a significant safety net for Older Americans, as well as privatizing Social Security.
    The irony is amazing.

  22. seattle motivational speaker
    seattle motivational speaker says:

    I think Hillary is a female and this is the main reason for losing in the election here. If she wasn’t she, it could help her. The women in ‘merica are f***ing toys only.
    Please don’t mind Pene, This is how I used to talk.

  23. Karen
    Karen says:

    I signed up for Penelope’s happiness course on Quistic and it’s supposed to start tonight and I’ve received no information about how to join.

  24. Silvia Jorge
    Silvia Jorge says:

    Hi, I m from The Netherlands ( Holland ), and we had the perception about Trump that Penelope describes. People don’t say the truth they say what it´s convenient. I’m sorry but USA is a country full of ignorants, racists and people who judge by differences. The victory of Donald Trump is the real soul of America. Penelope is absolutely right.

  25. Mysticaltyger
    Mysticaltyger says:

    America has racists. Every country does. But it is one of the least racist countries on the planet. Many Trump voters actually voted for Obama in 2008 and 2012, so your assertion that America is racist is just BS. Furthermore, no other country on the planet allows as much illegal immigration as the U.S. does. Other countries that are open to immigrants, such as Canada & Australia would never tolerate the level of illegal immigration we have in the U.S.–yet no one accuses them of being racist countries.

  26. René
    René says:

    Some may disagree, but it was obvious every time Trump opened his mouth the truth came out. Which begot negative media, which begot so-called “fear display” etc..
    If the 2016 election is to be summed up, I believe it was a victory for truth.
    Americans aren’t racist. We’re the most charitable nation of people in the world. People should not confuse a need for National Security with racism.
    If we are a legit part of this Nation & doing our part, & doing it by the same rules…what is there to worry about? 1 chicken cannot sit on the whole worlds eggs…and the shitty truth is ALWAYS better than a shitty lie.

  27. realestate accountant
    realestate accountant says:

    It is not an obvious fact that the US economy is benefited by illegal immigration – it is a debatable one, except if you try to debate you get called a racist xenophobe if you don’t agree with the opinion of the self anointed elite. Further, no matter how you slice it, illegal immigrants are here in contravention of democratically passed laws.

    I voted for Trump because it was evident Hillary would never be held accountable for following the laws of this country if she were elected. I also think Hillary was a lousy Secretary of State who made the world more dangerous place and that she would do literally anything to maintain herself in power.

    Trump was perhaps my 20th choice for the Republican nominee but I still voted for him because I thought he was less worse.

    Trump is not a racist and not someone who encourages racism. His whole business is founded on luxury housing and clubs for folks excluded from Park Avenue co-ops and restricted clubs. He employs all sorts of people including many professional women who he does not treat inappropriately. He hosted Maya Angelou’s 90’s birthday party at Mar a Lago. There are pictures of him accepting awards from Jesse Jackson (not photoshopped).

    If you are interested in understanding why you think Trump is a racist against all evidence, you might spend some time reading Scott Adams blot at dilbert.com. Like Penelope he has a way of cutting through the bullshit and is quite amusing while doing so. My husband tells me his books are worth reading too.

    • Shelly
      Shelly says:

      Come to California and see how un-documented Workers (yes, I wrote Workers) contribute by milking the cows, planting, trimming, harvesting the grapes, picking the tomatoes, cherries, strawberries, mowing the lawns, washing the dishes, minding the children and cleaning the toilets.
      Just because you ignore their work, doesn’t mean they aren’t contributing.

      • ciao
        ciao says:

        In the meantime we have large populations of young men not working. they don’t need competition from undocumented workers. It’s a complex problem but if you have immigration rules enforce them. If you don’t like them change them. Since my best friend went through total crap to come here, it’s pretty sucky that people flout the law and then expect a quickie free pass.

      • Meg
        Meg says:

        For sub standard wages! That is wrong wrong wrong! If someone is washing my dishes I sure as heck would want them to be legal equal citizens. Disgusting. If it costs $10.00 a tomato, to grow them with legal and fair labor, then I will pay $10.00 per tomato. Then again, I have never hired an illegal immigrant and never will. A legal immigrant, all the way! I wash my own clothes and cut my own grass and watch my own children. I’m from flyover country.

    • ciao
      ciao says:

      Hillary made hundred million dollars suggesting favors for her power. No one pays you 300,000 to listen to you because you’re so insightful. She broke the law worse than others who are currently incarcerated. and what a friend to women calling lewinsky a looney tune and discrediting a likely rape victim. but penelope’s feminism is for her white privileged liberal ladies.

  28. Jenna Higgins
    Jenna Higgins says:

    LOVE this!!! Thank you Penelope- I needed this post. It has been a bitter road since election day. The truth hurts – I wish we could all be more honest with one another…

  29. Fred Wack
    Fred Wack says:

    REPUBLICAN DEMOCRATE THEY’RE JUST OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE SAME COIN. MYSELF I voted for workers world party and I sleep nights. Cause I’d rather vote for something I want and not get it then vote for something I don’t want and get it. Ms. Trunk sometimes I think you’re batshit crazy but not in this posting. We are not urban or rural. Most of the people are suburban.

  30. Alan
    Alan says:

    People call Mr. Trump a “racist” just because they hate him and they want to call him the worst thing that they know. It has nothing to do with either Mr. Trump or with “racism”.

  31. Kelly DeFelice
    Kelly DeFelice says:

    So sorry you decided to call me racist. Why didn’t you just keep your blog like it was: a great place to learn about career and personal growth? Like I’ve heard before, never go full SJW (social justice warrior). Well, you just went full SJW, and you lost me, and probably half your readers. Not too smart. Bye.

    • ciao
      ciao says:

      But remember Penelope has her 13 year old obsessing about rape justice (13 year old) and despite her proclamations of gender neutrality is still dressing her boys pretty boyishly and supporting their boyish habits. This gal is a train wreck with her abortions and bipolar crap and constant exhibitionism and total disregard of her kid’s and friend’s privacy and on top of all that she’s a freaking bigot in her own right. What did any of us expect? She lost probably 90% of her readers in that mad jealous rant against sandberg.

  32. Matthew
    Matthew says:

    We certainly live in interesting times. Trump had tapped into the desperation of a populace long ignored, and Hillary represented the Establishment. Entirely predictable result.

  33. Shelly
    Shelly says:

    In reply to:
    “I can answer that one…if Hillary is president the coal miner will be unemployed. I know many coal miners. Every one of them voted Trump because Hillary is blatantly anti coal.”

    So, a coal miner will vote Trump because he tells them what they want to hear, instead of voting for Hillary who tells them the truth, even though she would have been more likely to help them find other work? Yeah, that’s a recipe for “Greatness.”

  34. ciao
    ciao says:

    I think I am done with this blog. Because all republicans are racist. Spare me the thought police lady. I’m sure you’d be first in line to “reeducate” all those who don’t think like you. The ONLY reason you homeschooled your kids is because they weren’t doing well in school despite your million dollars of services (your words) and you NEED them to succeed not for them but for YOU. There isn’t a radical bone in your body and this is why your show never came to pass.

  35. ciao
    ciao says:

    Yes penelope hillary lost because of putin and comey who didnt prosecute her is working for the rnc. ps we never landed on the moon

  36. ciao
    ciao says:

    and lastly, my favorite thing in the world the uber liberal who watches south park to show they aren’t politically correct. i know more than i care to count

  37. ciao
    ciao says:

    maybe we’ll luck out and penelope who has decided half the country is racist, will move to a farm in a canadian territory.

  38. ciao
    ciao says:

    She’ll probably delete these messages too or block me because free speech is one of those trifles to be discarded. this had ALOT to do with trumps election. I think hes a dolt even in business. I voted for him because I want our border enforced, we say who comes in and when according to guidelines and also I can’t stand this safe space crap. Penelope probably has one with caviar and coloring books.

  39. William
    William says:

    We got Trump because Hillary was simply ordained by the DNC. It was “her time” – never mind her being the right, or best candidate. She was the heir presumptive & arrogance & indifference of the establishment got us here.

    Funny thing being that I’m against the establishment as much or more as most of Trump’s supporters.

  40. Virginia
    Virginia says:

    Does anyone know if Penelope is okay? She hasn’t posted for awhile and it sounded like she was getting overwhelmed.

  41. Susie
    Susie says:

    I have been checking regularly, the last post was in the mailbag on November 18, 2016. Have been worried for about a two weeks or so, but now starting to get concerned, not tweeting or anything. Might have to check to see if she is on facebook. Nope, nothing there either but it was her birthday on the 10th.

    It would be good to know she is okay.

  42. Pat Sommer
    Pat Sommer says:

    Yup, I lied to myself that America was better than it blatantly is.
    At least I can look my fellow-coastal voters in the eye.

    Can’t bear the depths of stupidity, the racism, misogyny and flat-earth-climate-denying anti-intellectualism any longer: Canada is too cold; off to Mexico come January.

    F Trump sand all those who voted for him. Adios.

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