Why men should give women flowers

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Here’s the deal with giving flowers. Women like receiving flowers. Men think flowers are stupid.

Men think: Flowers die, they don’t do anything when they are alive, they are expensive, and they are a cliche. Men know that women in general like flowers, but men also believe that women they know personally do not like flowers. The women they know are the exception to the rule.

I think it’€™s safe to say that mostly women are reading this post. Women are reading to figure out how to get the men in their lives to send flowers.

Here’€™s what it’€™s going to take: Bottom line impact. Yes, the guys want to get laid, but dinner seems better: it’s like money well spent to them — you still get the sex, but you also get good food. What do you get with flowers? This is how men think, for the most part.

So, here’€™s what you get:

1. Flowers make the giver happy. The act of giving flowers elicits a real smile (as opposed to a fake, oh-that-was-nice smile) more often than other gifts of similar cost, according to research from Jeannette Haviliand-Jones, psychologist at Rutgers University. And men are conditioned to react very positively to a real smile.

2. People think you are smarter if you’€™re a guy who gives flowers. That’€™s right. Send the flowers to your significant others’€™ workplace. Science says that people will perceive you as having higher emotional intelligence than your peers. Next step: Start milking your significant other’s network of contacts since they are already impressed with you.

3. Your will be a better manager. Men give flowers at work, too. Not every bouquet means I love you. Some bouquets mean, “Get the project done on time or we’re screwed.” Give flowers during crunch time because flowers and plants at the workplace increase productivity. This seems like a good time to link to the post about when I got flowers from Marc Benioff, CEO of Salesforce.com. They definitely made me more productive.

Nancy Etcoff, evolutionary psychologist at Harvard, (who spouted radical views of female beauty at the Ted conference) concurs that flower make people happier. She found that if you see a vase of flowers in the morning, you have more spunk all day and less stress and anxiety at work. So don’t just send flowers to your girlfriend and your co-workers. Send flowers to yourself.

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  1. Dips Chaudhury
    Dips Chaudhury says:

    I agree! I have bought myself flowers just because I wanted to.
    And the best part is, it not only makes the place where I kept the flowers look nice and bright, but also I get to choose the flowers and so they reflect my mood perfectly! Happy situation.
    That said, I do love getting flowers from my men-friends.

  2. Ask a Manager
    Ask a Manager says:

    I once read about a company that had flowers delivered to all new employees on their first day. It has always stuck in mind as something that seems simple but would have a huge impact on how the person felt about the employer right from the beginning. Plus first days are exhausting and harrowing; flowers seem like such a nice gesture.

  3. Ben
    Ben says:

    Men appreciate natural beauty. It’s not that we consider flowers as stupid.

    It’s that we don’t want to feel like we’re sucking up to women. Giving flowers is like giving compliments. We’d rather err on the sign of too few than look like we’re needy, manipulative, or sycophantic.

    We’ve learned the hard way: women hate being put on a pedestal and hate it when we supplicate to them. We’ve learned this lesson so well that we avoid anything that looks like supplication.

    Flowers are the perfect example: we don’t buy them, specifically because women ask us for them.

    • Jorrit
      Jorrit says:


      Speak for yourself, mate. I buy my girlfriend flowers regularly, because I know they make her happy. And that’s all that matters to me.

      I never really understand these complicated reasons why you shouldn’t buy a box of chocolates, flowers or jewelry for your significant other. People that say these things like to believe that makes them independent or something. To me that seems like the exact opposite of committing to a relationship, but maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

      • Penelope Trunk
        Penelope Trunk says:

        Jorrit, since you bring up box of chocolates…

        The research from Jeannette Haviliand-Jones works off the apparently uncontested assumption that chocolate does not make women happy as flowers because women worry about gaining weight.

        And, lest you think women are irrational about chocolate and flowers – the link in the post from Nancy Etcoff at the Ted conference shows that women are right to think they will get more of what they want in life if they are beautiful.

        So stick with flowers :)


      • John
        John says:

        Maybe your mentaily is tadbit pre-modern mate.Buying flowers or candy should not have to express incentives nor motives I care about you or keep her feelings grounded about who she’s with.Women on the grand horizon have always had the notion or conceptual ideology to take rather than give and are very needy and insecure operatives and wish to be rewarded in some fashion.Its ok,but count how,when or often she will reciprocate that gesture?I bet
        you a planet of your own,in a solar system or galaxy of your choice,for you rule,complete with immeasureables and breathable atmosphere,she never buy or dispatch you any! Its time for the relation fields between men/women to be leveled plumb.Stop offering the lamb because you think this is going to keep her by your side and that she will faithfully turn down other men advances indefinitely in her life because that is kinda what you are pursuing but never looked at that way.Remember its men that are the predators and women prey so to speak but ultimately it goes both ways considering how women dress and fix themselves up pretty to be noticed,complimented,admired,adulated,asked out,fed,clothed,burped,affectionated and worshipped.Real guys men are not going to overlust
        when women mostly do not put in the same overdrive but I am not speaking on all of them.For instance,and I know alot of men agree,in the bedroom who is putting in extra effort all the time to just recieve and get sex? (MEN)! Who initiates all the foreplay,rubbing,kissing on the body..etc..(MEN)
        Women think they are too good to do it and do not cop out on all that bull they need to be aroused more cause I’m not buying it.Women do not play hard as men mate and trust me when I say this,most only see men as 2 things,( provider & spender).The scale is imbalanced when it comes to this because they
        get it easier by just investing in some mascara or eyeliner,lip stick or gloss,makeup and a outfit all for under 20 bucks,then turn that 20 into a $100 or
        $500,whatever the sucker feel like departing with.Women do not have the upperhand on sexuality mate but want your perception of it chained as they continue to control and remanipulate the spinning wheel.All & All,you have a deserved woman if she purchases something as a token of affection or acknowledgemet after you do for her because love
        does reflect love.But if you buy roses for her and at the end of the year you never see any from her,not that in some way a mutual exchange is not occuring,(STOP THE ROSES MATE)!

      • Ash
        Ash says:

        I agree with you Ben, Its so true, more than just giving flowers, maybe dropping in your girlfreind’s workplace during lunch hour to surprise her with a bouquet of flower also gives a smile and a joyful day to her, which indirectly makes u too happy :), smile and give as much as flowers you can, Its worth it…To express your love and care…:))

    • Ed
      Ed says:

      I like that Maschda. I would love to get Penelope Trunk Brazen Florist to be the spokesperson for my new plant-focused web business. How about it Penelope?!

      • Mascha
        Mascha says:

        Bad question-asking Ted (T indended). Read Penelope’s other blogs. I doubt you can get her to just boost your business because you want publicity ;-)
        Better: Send her flowers! Offer to arrange them for the wedding..
        You’ll be guaranteed to make her happy. The farmer will have to keep up and will have to give her even more flowers to keep her happy. All because of you.

        Mascha (no d)

  4. Isao
    Isao says:

    Not only seeing flowers but also seeing a plant (any kind) grow day by day works tremendously well, I think – like nurturing love each day. I wonder if sending a small pot of yet-blossomed flower (not the no-need-to-water cactus) works as much as sending roses.

    P.S. After I got separated from my wife I noticed I had received 23 roses through Facebook from her when we were together. I hadn’t even recognized any of them; taught me to regularly check my online account more than any other incidents.

  5. Joe
    Joe says:

    Why just men, and why just flowers? Personally, like @Mascha, I prefer live plants (both to give and to receive).

    Also, note that particularly prickly sorts might view giving flowers to a colleague as inappropriate.

  6. Daniel
    Daniel says:

    “Here's what it's going to take: Bottom line impact. Yes, the guys want to get laid, but dinner seems better: it’s like money well spent to them – €“ you still get the sex, but you also get good food. What do you get with flowers? This is how men think, for the most part.”

    This is something Seinfeld would’ve thought of.. XD

    Excellent article. Thanks!

    • econobiker
      econobiker says:

      Wrong. Just wrong.

      Unless given as a bed of rose petals with the lass reclining in a semi-clothed manner…

    • SheilaK
      SheilaK says:

      I have given flowers to my husband and he has given flowers to me.

      We don’t do that anymore, though, because these days flowers just remind me of my allergies, even if the flowers themselves aren’t hugely allergenic. Flowers bum me out.

      We more commonly give each other love notes and poems these days. Some other things we have both given each other: chocolates, stuffed animals, music mixes, sexy undies, jewelry.

  7. Melanie
    Melanie says:

    I love this post Penelope. I have heard people say that flowers are a stupid waste of money but the impacts you talk about are definitely true. My husband sent a dozen roses to my work every month for the first year we were dating. I don’t know how but he had figured out they were my favorite flower (also my middle name, maybe that was a clue). The happiness they brought was definitely genuine. I would always be happier and more productive on those days. My husband also made a great first impression on my coworkers before they ever met him face to face.
    I hope this post will elicit more flower and plant giving and less negativity about giving flowers.

  8. Sam
    Sam says:

    Hi Penelope,

    I love giving flowers, but it has to be the right flower for the right reasons. I think sending roses to a lady friend, in most circumstances, is cliche and, just as you suggested, screams “I hope to get laid!” The problem I have is that most people (men and women alike) haven’t got a clue what is tasteful when it comes to sharing such a gift, or even a simple complement, as one respondent commented.

    My suggestion…follow the KISS rule (Keep it Simple Sam). Small gestures and kind words go a long way without sounding trite or manipulative. Doing so regularly will make it real while sending a dozen roses because you want something is pathetic.

    Around the office, keep cost in check by bringing cut flowers from home (lilacs, lilies, or hydrangeas are all fairly common plants in the yard that many of us here in the East have access to). I like to put a large vase on the front desk for everyone to enjoy, but then I also take smaller cuttings and spread them around the office, sharing them with teammates and other employees who could use a spiritual lift. If purchasing from a florist for an office-mate, avoid roses all together, regardless if you have romantic intentions…work is simply the wrong place for that. If I am bringing some home to the love of my life, then I do not choose a ready-made bouquet. I pick several flowers that catch my eye, add some greens, and then give my lady something unique and thoughtful…which is just the way she likes it!

    Another interesting conversation, keep up the great work P!

    • michael
      michael says:

      keep your negative comments to yourself because if it’s not absolutely true, don’t blurt it out, in reality it can make you look foolish.

  9. Dee
    Dee says:

    I’m sort of in the camp that flowers are a waste of money — but it depends on the flowers. A surprise “cheap” bouquet from the grocery store that says “not only did I do the grocery shopping, but I was thinking of you while I was doing it!” are more than welcome. I definitely tell my husband to avoid flowers around Valentine’s Day — those really are a total rip off and really just too obvious.

    • Jill
      Jill says:

      Really? That’s a lot of venom for a couple typos. Penelope has two kids, a business, a new fiance and this blog – cut her some slack.

  10. Heather
    Heather says:

    My ex-boyfriend bought me flowers once a week. Turns out his guilt from messing around on me was eating him away.

  11. Kerry
    Kerry says:

    Does “hat tip” mean “sponsored post?”

    I mean, sponsored posts are fine. I just like to know one way or another when I’m reading one.

    • Penelope Trunk
      Penelope Trunk says:

      That’s funny. I actually thought about that. I thought that I should get FTD to advertise on the post or something.

      Hat tip means that I had a lot of help from the person. (Usually my hat tips are to individual people.) In this case, I have to admit, the flower industry is really on top of their game in terms of aggregating research that supports the idea of buying flowers – I got a lot of information that’s in this post from that site.


  12. David Zemens
    David Zemens says:

    Very nice article and very accurate, I confess. Maybe it is time to get out the credit card and have some flowers appear at my wife’s office. Thanks for the reminder.

  13. Me
    Me says:

    Edible Arrangements are nice. Especially chocolate dipped strawberries. All the hoopla of flowers, none of the perceived waste.Kind of fits both the male and female perspective as outlined in this article anyway.

    • Kelli
      Kelli says:

      I second that! Another great thing about edible arrangements is her/his coworkers can eat them too which is an extra bonus. And better than chocolate alone b/c you can get the healthy ‘fruit only’ version (which I sent to my mom and step-D on their anniversary while they were working the Jenny diet)or you can get some or all of it dipped. Flowers are nice too. :) Being acknowledged is nice!

  14. cheryl
    cheryl says:

    She’s right you know…. women love flowers. They are beautiful and brighten your day. Men…. just accept it and send flowers. Nevermind your agenda…. if you know she likes ’em – send ’em. Who are you dating here anyway? women? thought so.

  15. Stephanie
    Stephanie says:

    It’s simple. Flowers suggest that someone was thinking of you when you were not right there in their face. Who doesn’t like a reminder that they were on someone’s mind?

  16. sophie
    sophie says:

    Men know that women in general like flowers, think, they are aware that women like flowers, but they also believe that women they personally do not like flowers.

    Is it me? Or does this sentence not make sense?

  17. Steve
    Steve says:

    This is a perfect example of why you should never take advice from women about women. You should only give a woman flowers if 1. It’s not romantic/sexual 2. You’re p-whipped 3. You’re cheating on your spouse and want to distract them. Giving women any gifts or presents lowers your status and respect from them. Why should a man care what his girlfriend/wives co-workers think his emotional intelligence is?

      • Challenge
        Challenge says:

        His use of the words ‘lowers your status’ give away his Pickup Artist roots.

        However, as someone who is currently in a 7 month relationship, and has previously been in a 5 year relationship, I can attest that one can ‘keep the spark’ longer through using pickup-like quips and teases than any amount of purchased items.

        Flowers are for men who don’t know how to please women except by throwing money at them. An intriguing text will serve the same purpose.

    • J (regular poster)
      J (regular poster) says:

      Steve you are right that men in the seduction or ‘pick up artist’ community are probably not going to be sending a lot of flowers. These men don’t tend to be the men in long-term relationships/marriages though, and they don’t appear to want to be. For all other men, flowers are a good plan.

      And for any woman whose man adamantly refuses to give her flowers for reasons similar to what Steve mentioned? Take note.

      • CT
        CT says:

        Steve you are right that men in the seduction or ‘pick up artist’ community are probably not going to be sending a lot of flowers. These men don’t tend to be the men in long-term relationships/marriages though, and they don’t appear to want to be. For all other men, flowers are a good plan.

        Actually, I’d say (first hand knowledge) that more than half of men in the pickup community are in fact looking for long-term relationships/marriages.

        “Flowers” in themselves are no plan. A plan would be to give flowers sparingly as a reward when she has been extra sweet to you or done something extra special.

        Consider why you are giving flowers (or anything else). If it is to get on a woman’s good side, to make her like you, or just because that is what she or society expects, then you are being a clown and it is better not to give them.

  18. jane
    jane says:

    Hmmm, I would be a bit freaked out if my boss bought me flowers at crunch time, especially if he bought all the women flowers but none of the men. And I’d much prefer a nice dinner or something tangible and lasting than flowers from a boyfriend.

    • Kelli
      Kelli says:

      ooo, good point here. Anything that unnecessarily points out that I am female at work is a bit inappropriate. I don’t even like being ushered into the elevator first.

      • Phil
        Phil says:

        Thank you about the elevator comment Kelli. I’m all about being gentlemanly, but come on, why is it a ruckus is created at the elevator to ensure the women get on before the men as well as when they get off the elevator. Nothing burns me up more than waiting for 5 minutes for an elevator when a group of women come and jump right in front of me because they are “entitled” to do so. If the men do just get on the elevator in the order they lined up, they will get shitty looks from a good chunk of the women. It’s ridiculous and it causes awkward delays when riding the elevator.

  19. Matt Cheuvront
    Matt Cheuvront says:

    Great post Penelope – I think there is a lot to be said for “unexpected” flower (or other gift) giving. Somehow, things seem to resonate even more when they are totally unexpected. “Just for being awesome” gifts mean a lot – not to mention score you some mega points.

  20. Tanya
    Tanya says:

    A short essay on why the farmer should by Penelope flowers, by Penelope. I like flowers too, but not stereotypes.

  21. Mark W.
    Mark W. says:

    I think the farmer needs to set up an account at the local florist or start growing his own flowers (year round) or both.

  22. Lance
    Lance says:

    There was a time, very recently, where I would have agreed with the guy’s perspective presented here and disagreed with this post, but now I agree with you. Giving women flowers is a good thing, and it’s not just about getting laid.

    Giving plants is good, too, because they last forever and provide continuous pleasure. I gave myself a plant at work a while back.

  23. dava
    dava says:

    When I was still living with my dad, I worked with a girl who was a single mom and poor. She ranted one day about how much she hated when a man gave her flowers because that money would be better spent on a tank of gas or some groceries. I was shocked at the amount of venom she had toward the subject and told my dad about it.

    We had a great yard and it was spring time. My dad went out and picked a huge, gorgeous bouquet for that girl and the next time he took me to work he walked in and handed it to her. He didn’t know her at all and certainly wasn’t interested in sleeping with her. He made sure to tell her he didn’t spend any money on them.

    She loved the flowers and the gesture and said she didn’t mind a man giving her flowers like that. It’s the surprise and the sweetness of the gesture that most women love.

  24. Irina I
    Irina I says:

    In Russia, it is not uncommon to give flowers to a girl on a first date, on a second date, randomly whenever, when you have a birthday, when the guy is your friend and just feels like making you happy. I wish American men got that more. I’ve come to not expect flowers here and that is kind of sad.

    Also, this post reminds me of the scene in Clueless when Cher sends herself flowers to draw a guy’s attention.

  25. KateNonymous
    KateNonymous says:

    I love to get flowers for my birthday, but not for Valentine’s Day. The flowers are just as much waste one day as another, but florists jack the prices up so much for Valentine’s Day (and Mother’s Day, and weddings) that I don’t think it’s worth the money. It’s also not personal–I don’t need gifts because Hallmark has given everyone a marketing excuse. At least my birthday has a connection to me as an individual.

  26. Matthew | Step into the Flow
    Matthew | Step into the Flow says:

    I’m a man, and I have mixed feelings about giving flowers.

    What I hate is when flowers are expected. Or the reception of them is like a check-off on a list. “Oh, he gave me flowers. That’s one off on my list of things a guy should do.” Sure, it helps the florist industry, but not much else.

    Spontaneous, unexpected giving is another things. That includes managers at work. Flowers are great symbols; something beautiful, something living (at least for a few days). If it gets past all our previous images, it can go straight to the heart.

    However, any time you say something like “guys should give flowers”, you go to the first scenario: expectations.

    • KateNonymous
      KateNonymous says:

      Honestly? I think you’re overthinking it. Yes, you should give things when you want to. But there are holidays on which gifts are traditionally given. Do you refuse to give those gifts unless you feel like it? If not, why are flowers different?

      Besides, you’re only half of the gift equation. The recipient’s wishes matter as well. If you don’t like the way yours and hers match up, that’s an issue that has nothing to do with flowers.

  27. Anali
    Anali says:

    One of the nicest gentures that I’ve experienced in the workplace was one Valentine’s Day. All the men in our small group chipped in together to buy single roses for all the women in our group. We were all so surprised and it really made our day. This happened over 20 years ago and I still remember it! ; )

  28. Erin Lancaster
    Erin Lancaster says:

    Flowers won’t get you laid, boys. We are way smarter than that and we are not even close to being that easy to please.

    Stopping by with a pitcher filled with OJ he had just made immediately got my hot neighbor laid. (and married a couple of years later so careful).

    Give, give give. Yes, please! But you are not obligated. You are, however, responsible for owning your sentiments and giving to those you desire *only* when it comes from a pure place.


  29. Dave Concannon
    Dave Concannon says:

    Exotic flowers in the United States generally produced in countries like Columbia and shipped over.

    Carbon footprint and poor working conditions aside, one of the main reasons that they’re produced in countries in South America is because there are plenty of toxic chemicals used to keep the flowers pest-free, and preserve the flowers for their trip – chemicals which cannot legally be used in the States because they cause all sorts of nasty side-effects such as birth defects, cancer, reproductive illnesses, and neurological diseases. That’s aside from polluting the land.

    They might make for a pretty distraction for a day or two until they wither, but it’s for the above reasons that I try to gift something more personal.

  30. Keith
    Keith says:

    Twice now, standing in line at Costco with flowers and a couple other items in hand, I have had women insist that I go before them in line. Not just the polite you go ahead dance that sometimes happens. One drove a medium full shopping cart from just in front of me to just behind me. Both said something like “it’s a small thing to encourage guys to buy flowers.”

  31. Gavin Bollard
    Gavin Bollard says:

    It’s not safe to assume that you’re mainly talking to women here…

    I buy flowers for my wife because for some bizarre reason women like them. To buy her flowers is to say that “I’m thinking about you”.

    Like any aspie, I’ve got specific rules though;

    1. I don’t buy flowers if we’ve had a fight (because I want them to send the right message of love, not to excuse bad behaviour).

    2. I don’t usually buy flowers on Birthdays, Engagements etc. Those are times for formal and proper presents.

    The best time to buy flowers for your partner is when it’s an ordinary day but you get the feeling that she may be feeling just a bit down, tired, lonely, underappreciated etc. It shows that you care and that you’re thinking about her.

    • michael
      michael says:

      I am an aspie too and I couldn’t agree with
      you any further. Male aspies, given the opportunity can be the wisest men on earth.

  32. Savvy Working Gal
    Savvy Working Gal says:

    All this flower talk reminds me of an incident that happened recently at work:
    Two co-workers are dating. He sends her a dozen roses every other week which she proudly displays on her desk.

    He received a promotion two years ago. When our company's payroll clerk changed his payroll status to exempt she failed to change his child support deduction; shorting his child $26 a month. The clerk caught the error a couple of months later and brought it to his attention. He told her to leave it the way it is ’til his ex-wife catches it. She did. Now he has to pay the back child support plus interest and penalties. He says he can’t afford it and we have to tell the child support case worker it is our fault. We did. She says no its not; it's your responsibility to pay support for your child. Now pay up.

    Did sending her flowers make him happy? yes
    Did people think he was smarter? no
    Did it make him a better manager? Since she is his assistant maybe, but it made everyone else want to vomit.

  33. Warren
    Warren says:

    I don’t get this post. I buy flowers for my wife at a whim every once in a while. They make her happy and they brighten up the house. Why does it have to be more complicated than that?

  34. Seth
    Seth says:

    Meh, the reasoning here is not compelling. Reason #3 is not a reason for men to give women flowers per se, so set it aside. We’re left with two reasons I should give her flowers: first, it makes her happy; second, it makes other people think I’m a sensitive guy. OK, but do these benefits outweigh the costs to the giver? They do if I’m not in a romantic relationship with the woman (e.g., if it’s mom); but if I am, I suspect on average the costs definitely outweigh the benefits. Flowers may make women happy, but they also, for whatever reason, tend to make the giver seem less attractive. (If you’re someone with “emotional intelligence”, you surely know this intuitively.) Why make a girl happy if it also simultaneously makes you less attractive to her? Surely better to find a way to make her happy which doesn’t have this effect.

  35. Pamela
    Pamela says:

    Guys should look at it this way…

    If a woman is out buying groceries and sees that Shiner Bach is on sale (her man’s favorite beer), she will pick up a 12 pack and bring it home to him. Not because she is sucking up, not because he asked her to, but because she’s thinking about him and knows it will make him happy. It won’t make her happy and it will cost her $10 but it’s not for her – it’s for him. He will be surprised and happy and think, “my chick is really cool. Instead of an ugly polo shirt, she bought me a 12 pack of beer” and he will probably get laid because he’s in a good mood and she likes it when he is happy and doesn’t like it when he is a crabby patty.

    So…if you are out and about and you see flowers and by chance, think of your woman, buy them for her. But don’t buy roses because roses are cliche, and please, do not buy carnations because carnations are the equivalent of funeral flowers. Any other flowers in my opinion, is perfectly wonderful.

  36. Caitlin
    Caitlin says:

    I buy flowers occasionally but nothing beats having them bought for me. I’ll be forwarding this post to my husband – and I bet I’m not the only one!

  37. Kim
    Kim says:

    One Valentine’s Day, about five years ago, my husband brought a beautiful vase of flowers to my office. The next week, he delivered another vase of flowers. The next week, another. Not a week has passed that I haven’t had fresh flowers in my office. Best Valentine’s Day present ever.

  38. shoefly
    shoefly says:

    this is an ethnic and class thing rather than a gender thing. certain ethnicities of whitegirl from certain class tiers like flowers. the overwhelming majority of the world’s women, not so much, even if one only considers westernised businesswomen ‘women’ (which appears to be the core presumption of the post).

    • Mascha
      Mascha says:

      Excuse me/us?

      Girs of ANY color and background like an attentive gesture, besides, Penelope’s point is that it makes the sender happy, it evokes smiles from the person who receives them, and is a positive influence in any environment (unless someone has allergies). Unlike your post.

      • shoefly
        shoefly says:

        not every culture has the same conception of what constitutes an attentive gesture. for the majority of women in the world, including westernised businesswomen, flowers don’t evoke smiles and may be a negative in the environment (esp. work).

        in any case, it is interesting how imperialist some folks get about what is and isn’t universally accepted in interpersonal relations.

    • Mascha
      Mascha says:

      – ™£ – ™§ – œ» – œ¼ – œ½ – œ¾ – œ¿ – € –  – ƒ – „ – … – † – ‰ – Š – ‹

      here, some flowers for you.

    • KateNonymous
      KateNonymous says:

      Could you substitute a culturally appropriate gift for the term “flowers”? If so, then the wording is the issue, not the concept.

      If the concept is the issue, then more explanation would be informative and educational.

      What’s your goal here?

  39. Kirk in Indy
    Kirk in Indy says:

    Enjoyed the post…smiled & thought:: ‘Why women should give men XXXX’
    1. XXXX makes the giver happier & will illicit a real smile from receiver!
    2. People will think you are smarter (& hotter) if your a gal that gives XXXX -Word gets around, good bad or ugly & if you are giving xxxx, your guy is likely to share his level of happiness with others – in one way or another
    3. You’ll be a better Manager for it! :)

  40. Victoria Esterlis
    Victoria Esterlis says:

    Penelope, I think you are distracted. Your most recent post has glaring typos in it, and you seem to have written a quick post for the sake of getting out some material. I subscribed to this post for solid career advice. What happened to all that useful information?

  41. phillygrrl
    phillygrrl says:

    “Your will be a better manager.”

    Sorry, don’t mean to be nitpicky. “You will be a better manager,” perhaps?

    Also, love this post. Forwarding it to everyone I know.

  42. Joselle
    Joselle says:

    I love this post! I love that you’re probably getting more flowers now, too!

    My fiance gave me flowers on our first date. It was a sorta blind date in that we met on Match and talked on the phone but hadn’t met in person yet. So, I saw this guy on his cell phone across the street from me holding flowers (three roses, which was nice because it was flowers but not scarily overkill and hard to carry on a date like a bouquet would have been) and I knew it was him trying to give me directions. And when he finally gave me the flowers, I instantly knew I was going to love him unless he ended up being a puppy murderer or something.

    Some might think that’s overly romantic and stupid but I really knew from then on that he was completely different from any other man I’d ever dated just because of the flowers. No other man ever gave me flowers and all those other guys were psycho. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

    And, on our first Valentine’s Day together, my fiance sent a huge bouquet of tulips (my favorite) to my job but I called out that day due to a snowstorm. So, he called Proflowers.com (better than FTD) and had them send me ANOTHER bouquet at home. Two bouquets.

    Three years later, he still gets me flowers. I’ve given him what I call man flowers: orchids. It’s good to give men flowers, too, but fatal to be a man who doesn’t give women flowers because “they die.” I love giving flowers to my girlfriends, too. Flowers are amazing.

    Oh, and shoefly, I am not white or rich and I love getting flowers. What the hell?

  43. cbrancheau
    cbrancheau says:

    My husband will bring me flowers “just because”. I love the surprise and the unspoken “I love you” that goes with it.

    Plants and flowers in the workplace help to bring the outdoors in and make it a more pleasant place to be. And I am always for anything that says a job well done from your boss.

  44. Lien
    Lien says:

    I am a woman, and I really don’t care about flowers and chocolate and other waste of time and money. I told my husband-to-be that with all that money he would waste on flowers, he could just buy me a condo in Hawaii or Apple stocks. Frequent vacations in Hawaii make me happy, flowers – meh.

    Diamonds, real estate, and stocks are girls’ best friends, not flowers. Maybe because women like touchy-feely stuff and people think that it will do for a woman, we earn less, the poverty is higher among women than men. We just get “flowers” in this life, instead of the real thing.

    • Diana
      Diana says:

      I think Lien is right. Penelope says, “…men are conditioned to react very positively to a real smile.”

      Well, we know women are conditioned to “react very positively” towards the boss even when only receiving a token of appreciation, not “the real thing” – like putting us in for a promotion or a raise.

      Imagine this scene, “Hey Bob, nice work on that proposal! Here’s a pretty pink rose for you!” LOL

    • Jen
      Jen says:

      So true Lien, I wish my husband would just give me cash. Around 100 bucks or so will be sufficient to “elicit a smile” (wink wink). 250 might be enough elicit an even bigger smile (anal).

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