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On some level, it's fun to quit a job. It's fun to remind people that they don't own you. It's fun to feel that burst of freedom as you walk out the door. But it's no fun if you don't quit right.
Before you quit, you need a semi-plan for what you'll do next: You will either work or play. Pick one. You cannot pick sitting in front of the TV because it is lame and you will be sorry.
If you pick work, then get another job lined up before you quit, because getting a job while you have a job means that your company paid you to job hunt.
If you choose to play, make sure you have enough money to play in a way that will actually be fun. One of my most misguided attempts at play was when I took a trip to France and ended up earning room and board by chopping off chicken heads.
Before you quit you also need to make sure the job is the problem. Maybe you are the problem and you are blaming everything on the job so you don't have to look at yourself. The Occupational Adventure offers a good way to take a look at your life to see what's really holding you back. Do an honest assessment. If your job is not holding you back, then deal with what is, while you're gainfully employed. Self-examination is always easier to do when you can pay your rent.
If you really do think quitting is the right decision, here's how to tell your boss:
1. Be kind, even if you hate your boss, because your boss is not your boss anymore. She is part of your network. And some people who are jerks to work for are actually nice and fun outside of work. You don't know until you try. So hedge your bets and be gracious on the way out, even if you don't feel that way.
2. Make sure your boss knows that this is a good move for you. Even if you're not sure if it's a good move, tell your boss that it is. We all need to believe in ourselves, or else who will?
3. Put it in writing. Why are there six thousand examples of resignation letters on the Internet? You are not Winston Churchill. You can write one sentence: "I'm leaving this company on [date]." If you want to tell your boss how much you hate her, see rule number one. If you want to nail your boss for illegal behavior, see a lawyer. Don't tell the company how to fix itself. You are leaving. If they care about your input so much they can pay you as a consultant. Which they will not, because they do not care.
4. If you want a counter-offer, give your boss enough notice to come up with one before you leave. A counter-offer is much less likely to come after you're gone.
5. Show gratitude for what your boss has done for you. A personal thank you note is a good way to leave because your boss can reread it all the time and remember only the good things about you. This will help when you call your boss for a favor – like when you need a reference.
Also, people who express gratitude are happier than those who don't. The National Institute of Healthcare Research reports, "People who regularly practice grateful thinking reap emotional, physical and interpersonal benefits." So find something nice to say about your boss and you'll feel great as you walk out the door.
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Thanks for writing this one. It's timely for me as it looks like I'll be quiting my job, which I have enjoyed for over four years, to take on a similar but larger role at another company. I am starting to ponder how I'll tell everyone. I'll need many of my current co-workers as contacts in my new position, so making everyone feel good about me and my time at the company is key. There are some good suggestions here. Thanks.
Posted by Wendy on 07/05/2006 at 10:47pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have a question for Ms. Trunk and the general community. I am about to resign from my job, and I know that my boss will not take it well. I know to be courteous and professional, but if he asks what company I am going to next, should I tell him? I work for a nonprofit, so the connections are heavy within the community and our group. I can see the situation being either positive or negative. What do you suggest?
Posted by Katie on 07/08/2006 at 12:05pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Replying to Katie — Tell your boss. Your name will probably be on your new employer's website soon enough. Having worked at non-profits in NYC, they love to post people's names and bios. And sites like ZoomInfo.com troll company websites for people's bios — here's what a search for "Katie" turned up…
Posted by The Googler on 07/08/2006 at 12:49pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I agree with the googler that you should definitely tell your boss. If you don't tell your boss where you are going how would you ever be able to use him as a contact in the future? It seems very confrontational to me to not tell where you're going.
Posted by Erik on 07/08/2006 at 06:04pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Congratulations on the new job!
If your boss will be upset that you're leaving, it's probably because he/she really liked the work you were doing. So this person is going to be great for your network, once she gets over the fact that you left.
Quitting a job is all about laying the foundation for future networking, and long-term mutual support. Once you leave, your relationship needs to adjust a little and then you can settle into something new with her.
But you can't do anything of this by being secretive (at best) and deceitful (at worst). So come clean about where you are going, and, if pressed, why you have decided to move on.
Note: When you talk about why you're leaving, the best way to phrase it, in order to preserve your relationship with your boss, is to frame your departure in a positive, non-confrontational light — what you are moving toward. As opposed to a negative light — what you are moving away from.
Good luck with the new job.
Penelope
Posted by Penelope Trunk on 07/09/2006 at 08:52am | permalink | Reply to this comment
i like beans
Posted by Bobby on 10/30/2009 at 02:33pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
why do u like beans? this is a job website.
Posted by john on 2009-10-30 14:37:28 | (Comments wont nest below this level)
I think most of this is solid advice. Often people do not realize the truth of: make sure the job is the problem.
I would be wary of #4 "If you want a counter-offer."
Many companies peg you as disloyal even if they make a counter-offer you accept. Clearly, this is not ALWAYS true. But could be risky even to accept one unless you are buying time and keep looking.
It's better to read all the professional information you can on asking for a raise, then deciding your next step.
* * * * * * * *
Interesting point. I think a lot of people do exit interviews as a way to get a counter offer. There is good evidence to show that counter offers are bad practice.
Counter offers happen when there is a bad employee/employer relationship to begin with. Think about these scenarios: If an employee is leaving just for the money, then you should probably let them go. If your employer will only pay you fairly if you get another offer, then you should probably leave. Here's a good article about this:
http://www.employmenttimesonline.com/employers/article.php?ID=169
Penelope
Posted by Sue S on 07/30/2007 at 12:22pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I work in a retail venue that is open 24/7 and needs people to work all shifts, including non-traditional "mid-shifts" such as 10am-6pm, noon-8pm, 5pm-1am, etc. This has been ideal for parents and students (I am both) who need to work around children and class schedules. I have been here for 14 years and really like my job.
Two years ago this company eliminated my career path. This past March they gave notice that my entire departnment would be eliminated next March (2008). I have been carefully saving money and planning my classes so I could quit at that time.
The latest new rule forces me out now. They will accept no more requests for schedules. If you say you can work a certain day, they will schedule you whenever they need you and will not work around classes or anything else.If you need anypart of any day off, you must request the entire day off. So I have gone from a 35 hour workweek to a 16 hour one. I cannot live on 16 hours per week so I have no choice but to leave this job.
I do have plans for leaving. Savings, college classses, etc. The plans aren't entirely complete yet because I was planning to stay for 6 more months. But 6 more months at half salary or less won't get me any closer to my goals.
I have vacation approved for mid August. I will be gone for 2 weeks. I would like to give my 2 week notice the day before I leave and then just not return after my vacation. What I want to know is if this is proper timing? I want to do it this way because I do not want the one office gossip person (every workplace has that "one"!) to find out about this until I am gone.
Posted by clatsop on 07/30/2007 at 01:59pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
mr. john i hate u
Posted by Bobby on 10/30/2009 at 02:40pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
As a professional recruiter, I feel compelled to comment about your suggested step #4. You should never use a resigantion as a device to get a counter-offer. First, you cannot ever be sure one will be forthcoming. Secondly, if you think your relationship with your employer is strained now, try accepting a counter-offer. The expectations will go throught the roof and you will never be looked at the same by your company. They'll probably start figuring out how to replace you ASAP.
If you feel your position is worth salvaging, you should approach your boss, air your grievances and work to repair the relationship and improve your situation before moving on. It may be a good idea to have something in the wings before you have this conversation if you think there's a chance you'll be fired over bringing this up. If your problem is not addressed by this honest approach, you do need to find a new boss.
After working through this you decide it's time to move on, alawys provide a professional notice (at least two weeks)and resist attempts from your current employer to counter-offer. You have done everything in your power to help them help you and moving on is the only way to improve your career. There are a lot more aspects to a job than money.
I agree with your other points.
Posted by Broc on 07/30/2007 at 02:31pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Reply to clatsop:
Regarding vacationa approved in Mid-August. Give your two week notice two weeks before you leave on "vacation" so your vacation start date is actually your end date at the job. This is a much better method than not coming back from vacation and also you will get paid for this 2 weeks of vacation that you did not use, when you conceivably will not be working anyway. Not coming back from vacation is cowardly and rude.
Posted by Kevin on 07/31/2007 at 12:31pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
is this ok:
i don't have enough time to end the job before the vacation start date, so if i end the job a few days after i come back from my vacation?
Posted by audge on 08/10/2007 at 10:46pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
but i still hand in the letter before vacation so i still take the vacation on their time
* * * * * *
It's okay to do, but you run the risk of your company telling you not to come back after vacation. I think the more important issue is leaving on good terms, which means having all your work/projects in order when you quit.
-Penelope
Posted by audge on 08/10/2007 at 10:47pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
i have a question about quit the job?
what can i write to the company?
how can i get vacation before quiting?
how can i get scholarship before quit
how can i leave a note befor quit
Posted by peter william on 08/13/2007 at 04:58pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I'm in a situation that currently feels like a crisis. I've been at my new job for three months and have felt since day 1 that it is not a good fit, specifically working with my boss. These feelings are progressively getting stronger and I feel trapped.
I feel that it is completely unprofessional to leave a job after such a short period of time. How do I explain the stint at this company to future employers?
* * * * *
You can leave the job off your resume. Just say you were job hunting – which you were doing, in a way. You are looking for a job you want and this wasn't it. Easier to explain long job hunt than three-month stint. And reminder: A resume is not your life story. It a document to highlight your career acheivements. When you can, leave off stuff that makes you look bad. No one puts every little thing on their resume. It would be impossible.
-Penelope
Posted by Linda on 12/02/2007 at 05:42pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Thanks, Penelope. I went ahead and gave my two weeks notice and am now doing my best to leave with dignity and grace. My next question is, how and when do I tell fellow co-workers? I have eight more days on the job don't want to be the topic of work gossip but don't want to give too little notice, especially to the people I work directly with.
By the way-My boss is even trying to micromanage my resignation!
Posted by Linda on 12/10/2007 at 03:47am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have a question related to this I'm hoping I can get some guidance on:
I've been at my company for over 6 years, and it's been a great experience but I just feel like it's time to move on. I love and respect the people (even though sometimes way the company runs is totally dysfunctional), and getting good references is extremely important for me.
I've decided to make my last day at the end of April, and I already have a 2 week vacation booked for the last half of March. Should I give notice before I leave on vacation, or when I get back (that would be 1 month's notice).
I know 1 month is more than enough, i just feel a little shady about giving notice the day after I get back from a paid vacation. Plus, my position is not going to be easy for them to replace. I welcome any and all thoughts!
Posted by chloe on 02/12/2008 at 01:59am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Response to Chloe: One month of notice is very nice, and while they will want you to stay on even more — which you may be able to negotiate as a consultant, which could be a nice switch — your company needs to use that month to find a replacement.
When you return from vacation is a very good time to give notice, because you can say, "I had time to do some thinking." The fact that your company is paying for your vacation is irrelevant as they have to.
I would not give notice before your vacation, and I would even wait until mid-week after getting back.
Best,
Dan
Posted by Chloe on 03/14/2008 at 07:40pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Great tips. Most important thing is…
1. If you haven't got another job to go to, then make sure you have a plan. And do some moonlighting to build up a buffer of money.
2. No matter how much you hate your boss, don't 'burn your bridges' you may need a favor, a job, a reference at some point in the future.
I quit my 10 year job at a corporate company 2 weeks ago. I spent a year trying various money making schemes so that I could be my own boss.
I eventually stumbled upon this:
http://www.autoforexmoney.com/?pt
and have never looked back. I work 1 hour a day, I'm my own boss, and that daily hour is the most exciting job I've ever had.
Posted by Anthony on 06/27/2008 at 07:11am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I believe the author makes an excellent argument against burning bridges. I read this piece three times, and finally realized the importance of understanding what I read before finishing my letter.
I appreciate this advice because I will be quiting my job. I wasn't there long, and I do not see myself in any way as a failure. In fact, the burn-out rate in this particular job is pretty high anyway so, I'm not bummed that I didn't do my best. What I do is really hard and I know I did a really good job. I just wish I could have kept doing it under different circumstances. Perhaps better-managed ones?
Thank you for the timely advice.
Posted by Mikey on 07/21/2008 at 01:52am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Thank you for all your great articles!
I have a question: has anyone heard of being required to give a month of notice?
I had never heard of that, until the end of July, when I told my boss (who already knew I was looking) that I was taking an offer that strongly wanted me the third week in August. I am hourly, but everyone treats it like salary (albeit low). This is a research assistant position at a university.
I postponed my start date, as some overlap with my replacement is important, and to consider his counter offer and invitation to change my mind (but told him to proceed with finding my replacement).
This morning, I reaffirmed that I was taking the new position. And, the departmental secretary still wants a month of notice, because I'm paid monthly — from today.
My boss is great, and it is very important that I maintain the best reputation possible with both him and his colleagues in the department.
Can I properly give "two weeks notice" in my letter, when the department tells me they expect a month?
I'd hate to risk damaging my start at the new job, for a non-standard expectation.
Posted by Will. on 08/11/2008 at 12:09pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Penolope, I'm looking to quit my job in a few months. I writing about it so I can start to voice the reality of it in my head. I've changed jobs several times in my career. I look forward to the change. I'm leaving because of my boss. My boss is a bully and a super delegator. He has an MBA therefore, he knows everything about business. Typical conversations involve his barking biz philosophy and orders (likes to hear his own voice). He frequently interupts me and others on the team. I don't feel like I have a voice around him. Nobody does. Nightmare boss likes to be center of attention at all times. In recent years, I've yessed him to death in order to halt his bullying. Of course it didn't work – just made him bully more. I recognize my mistake however, I can't do much about it at this point. I feel mostly numb to him bullying now. I find myself more distracted, frustrated and depressed outside of work. I agree one should pay attention to these warning signs. I'm really looking forward to the day I give the resignation ! I am his top sales person. I know he likes my work. Frankly, after I quit, I'm not sure I want to keep him as part of my career network. I'll probably write a brief letter of resignation and, have a standard set of explanations to provide when he calls me. I'll be polite, firm and brief.
Do you have any advice on how to avoid taking a job with a future bully boss? I'd like to avoid creeps like this in the future..
Posted by Jim Bell on 08/13/2008 at 10:13am | permalink | Reply to this comment
In response to Will's question about your employer asking you to give one month's notice: I've never heard of that, anywhere. I think that it would be a great courtesy, but I would check your contract. As an hourly person, you shouldn't have to give anything above 2 weeks' notice, if that.
However, I also used to work at university as a researcher for a very low salary and the department secretary (why they have the power that they do is beyond me!) wanted a month's notice. I told them that I needed to eat and had other obligations, and unless they could give me a salary increase, they couldn't have me for the extra month. In fact, getting students to fill your position is very easy; depending on where you are, international students are lining up for these jobs and are willing to do them for almost nothing. And the department secretary knows that.
If you want my advice, I would take aside a professor from the department (who you trust and who will keep a confidence) and say "Listen, I need this new job and the secretary is telling me she needs me to give one month's notice–what do you think I should do?") He/she may just say "Don't worry about it, I'll talk to her" or "Don't sweat it, I'll give you the reference." And that's how you get around the department secretary. The secretary may be the gate-keeper, but using blackmail on you to keep you in a low-wage job (and by the by, how much is she making?) is pretty despicable, so in effect she's probably not going to give you a good reference anyway. If she has no respect for your need to survive outside her department, imagine how she's going to be when you actually leave?
When I was a senior researcher, my boss was all peaches-and-cream until I told her something very personal. I had to get an advance on my meager salary because I had just recently become single. I was an international student, I had no place to live, and I wasn't in a traditional relationship. The moment I told her this, she treated me very badly. Then, I found out later, even with the best Letter of Reference that anyone could write, that she was still bad-mouthing me. So, my references from this time come from a friend who I used to work with. Get those references and go around the secretary.
And good luck! I know what it's like to be in your position. Before being faithful to someone who is using their power and possible rejection of you to keep you subservient, consider getting your references in order and then having a nice, assertive conversation with whomever. Something along the lines of "I know you understand the importance of this new job and I know you understand that as an hourly employee, I don't really need to give you any notice at all, so I'm guessing two weeks would be enough." As my friend L put it when she quit from the same department (and she's the one who is my referee), "We can do this nice, or we can do this nasty." They had a lot more respect for her after this conversation, and they didn't try to bad-mouth her. I was great with them and they're bad-mouthing me to this day.
Worry about yourself first. Yes, you'll want a good reference, but that doesn't come from the overly-inflated Ego secretary. That comes from the professors you work with. The secretary, outside of her little desk job at the university has no clout what-so-ever. The professors do.
Mikey
Posted by MIkey on 11/28/2008 at 10:29am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have been thinking about quitting my job almost around the time since I started in September. It is a combination of a boss that sends me home pent up with stress each day, reduced work hours, and a need for a higher hourly wage. I have been reading the comments and understand how to go about writing a letter of resignation etc., but how should I respond if she brings up my job interview? I told her in taking this independent bookseller job that I wasn't in this business for the money, but that I was looking to be working a lot of hours. I was sincere in saying that, and feel like a hypocrite for quitting for that reason. She told me when I was offered the job that I wouldn't be overwhelmed with hours because I'm new, but a few months in and she is cutting back my hours.I would like to leave this job on my resume because, as a freshman in college, I need to add as much work experience as I can to ensure that I can attain another job. As for the hourly wage,I was a bit naive when I moved to the state and, after a month being there, expected that I could live on the money she offered.However, out of the house for the first time I realize that I need to do a bit more to accumulate some savings.Could you offer tips for me on how to go about this?
Thank you for your time,
K.
Posted by K on 11/28/2008 at 09:17pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
im sorry but if your boss is an a hole and treat like a crap why would you show gratitude?
stick it to him. dont make him feel good about treatin you like crap or he will continue to treat others like that
make a difference!
Posted by dave on 12/29/2008 at 01:18pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Thank you so much for the great input.. Here is my big question regarding if I should go ahead and quit (which would be a HUGE relief) or wait until I secure another position (which is the practical choice)?
Since November 2007, I have worked as the coordinator for a non-profit in my hometown. I am very blessed for this position because I have been able to live with my parents (save some money and be with them during some tough times including my younger sister who is in high school). I have been able to afford to purchase a nice reliable car, I was driving my deceased great-grandmothers car that I would have to paddle like a flintstone. I have also lots of great worthy experiences and develop new skills and learned a lot.
However, I have been through some serious issues that my predescessor had left behind such as staff members doing horrible and unethical decision making (child using our business computers for porn – yeah!, lying on grant applications, no paper trails on how funds were purchased most of the time, using work phone for long distance and very long personal calls, and sooo much other crap). I have had two colleagues (one is my predecessor's mother-in-law – yea!) both have done things such as go to conferences that are for community's youth – they take their kids or grandkids no others unless their kid has a friend, they are rarely turning in paperwork and financial records to our supervisor on time if so its late and always erroed, the "mother-in-law" has threatened other offices' staff about stupid issues yet our supervisor (which is a board) won't do anything except a slap on the wrist, and I am constantly told by these colleagues how I do my job. I am not saying that I am perfect and I actually don't mind people's guidance, but when it comes to the point where they are just being rude, dumb (if I may say so), and extremely unethical thats just wrong. For example, part of my job besides supervising my five staff members, run a non-profit, and also take care of a maintenace of a community center (which houses lots of other offices including these two individuals).
My executive committee members constantly talk about oh poor so and so they have a lot going on in their personal life, hello – I have a life too (I have never said that except you know I have personal issues too but I don't bring them to the office).
I am just dying to get away from here. I am applying to other places, but with this economy I feel like its going to take forever. I know the smart thing to do is to keep working until I find another place, but this effecting my health, my sleep, my eating habits, and so fourth. I know that's not healthy and I have tried for so long to not let get to me, which I am doing pretty good if I may say so considering all the stuff I have been through. It has been since November 2007, nothing has changed. The staff member had a position with a term, which eneded this past November (2008). Well, some of my board members said they agreed she needed to go, well this other colleague has hired her… no one has said anything! The board is over all three of us..
As you can see, it would be a great book for supervisors…I am just sooo tired of people backstabbing, lying, gossiping, trying to damage other people, and then acting with a smile and crying to be the drama people. I have to say I kept my ethics, values, and myself from doing anything wrong, which I mean I have been honest, straight forward, hard working, committeed to my job, and so fourth.
I am just soooo tired of it all and I know every job we have we go through stuff like this, but it just seems like 100% worse than what we normally go through…
Okay, sorry for the blabbing..what should I do?
Posted by Taylor on 03/25/2009 at 08:44am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Taylor, let me first acknowledge how difficult it is to be on a Board. I was the treasurer of not-for-profit for about a year, and it almost destroyed me. The major problems included 1) bad management, 2) bad attitudes, and 3) a bunch of old people thinking that they had some God-given right to wield power. Our non-voting member was useless, and tried her best to get stuff done under-the-table, and for all intents and purposes, illegally and contrary to Society Act rules. In the end, I wanted to quit, and that's exactly what I did.
Here is what I want to tell you. Your board follows some sort of Society Act: look it up, and resign, following the section and sub-section numbers provided. So, for example "I regret to inform the Board that, as of this date and effective immediately, I resign from my obligations. I understand that, under Section X.X of the Society Act that I must surrender all materials to the board, and have thus provided them herein."
Basically, you need to quit.
I know the economy sucks, but the alternative is that people will find out what is going on there, and your reputation will end up becoming damaged. Write something like "Due to time constraints, I will no longer be able to perform my duties as…." Thank them for the opportunity, and then make sure the materials are sent back via FEDEX or another registered service, so they can't come back at you.
I sympathize with your situation, but if they are doing the kinds of things that my board did, you don't want to be a part of it. You've got back up. You're at your folk's place, so while it's not ideal, at least you're not in dire straights. And you've got a car–something I can only dream of at this point. So you're better off than most. But if people are talking–and they are, believe me–then you want to put as much distance from that place as possible, because sooner or later, they'll pin it on you. I'm guessing you're not as old as many of the other members, and the older ones always pin crap on the younger ones. It happened to me.
Good luck! And remember: no more not-for-profits. They're evil and built to stay that way.
Mikey
Posted by Mikey on 03/25/2009 at 11:38am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I just decided to quit my job today. It's the first job I've ever had (I'm in college but wanted to start working to build my resume) and it was just a crappy little minimum wage job. I was working at a dog kennel and doggy daycare facility and my work involved cleaning, feeding, monitoring large groups of dogs and whatever the kennel told us to do. I got to the point where I could not put up with being taken advantage anymore. Because of the state of the economy (or so the kennel claimed), they refused to give me a raise. They promised me a raise after three months and with today marking my sixth month (which I didn't even think of before quitting) I was still making minimum wage. There was a bunch of other upsetting stuff that happened at that job but suffice to say that I went home everyday feeling abused. I'm a senior in college and I just got fed up with feeling like I was in high school again (the gossip, drama, passive aggression) and decided I would be better off not having a strong resume and saving my self-esteem and mental health. When I submitted my letter of resignation my boss acted incredibly hurt, asked me why I didn't talk to her about it first and couldn't understand why I was leaving so quickly (I resigned effective immediately). The management of the kennel act like this job was a career – something that I would have for a long time and ought to care very much about. I found it surprising that they were so shocked that I quit. Was this a rash decision? Should I stayed a few more months longer to see if things might have changed or gotten better? I'm feeling pretty confused and unsure because this happened so quick. One of the other workers said something to me this morning that put me over the edge and I decided to remove myself from that unhealthy situation. What do you think?
Posted by Sydney on 04/13/2009 at 10:51pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I was laid-off in January after ten years with the same company. I finally found another job 3 weeks ago and I hate it, my body can't take the physical demands of the new job.
Should I wait to find a new job or say goodbye now and save myself the aches and pain? (we are all getting older!)
Posted by Scott on 10/23/2009 at 05:49pm | permalink | Reply to this comment