Dave Goldberg cause of death? I think it’s suicide
First of all, let me say that I feel really bad for everyone who is losing Dave Goldberg in their life. I feel bad that he will not get to see his two kids grow up. His death is very sad. I have not had a spouse die or a parent die and I’m sure the experience is more awful than I could even imagine.
Still. I can’t help but wonder how he died. It is completely standard in journalism to report the cause of death when the announcement is made. After the initial, cursory announcement of death, major publications frequently run an obituary when a famous person dies, yet the Wall St. Journal and the New York Times ran formal obituaries and still mention nothing of the cause of death.
If there were suspicion of murder, there would be a police report.
If there were some sort of complicated condition that Dave kept a secret, the death announcement could follow a time-honored tradition of being vague and uninformative, like saying “heart condition” or “muscular complication” or even “degenerative disease”.
Let’s say he has a terrible disease, like the one in Still Alice, where he will die early and so will his children. And let’s say his children do not know and the family has chosen not to tell them. Fine. The announcement could use that same, vague language.
If the family does not want to talk about the cause of death, it seems that the most logical thing to do would be to announce some sort of vague cause that would stop people from asking questions. But surely the family knows there will be questions if they say nothing. Dave and Sheryl are the most vocal couple on the planet about how to have a dual-career marriage, and one half of that marriage is gone. Of course people will ask questions. The best way to stop the questions is to give a vague, boring cause of death.
So the only explanation I can see for being totally quiet on this topic is that he killed himself.
Why is this important? Why do I get to ask the personally invasive question about his death?
Because Sheryl Sandberg, who was married to him, is not only Facebook’s COO, but she is also the author of the book Lean In. That book tells women that they should have a career like Sheryl’s. And, most significantly for this post, that women should pick a spouse like Dave.
Sheryl has said over and over again that it is because of her spouse that she is able to Lean In (which, loosely translated, means work insanely long hours and have kids and have a great marriage).
I want to know, how can someone Lean In as a single parent? I wonder how someone will Lean In when there is no other parent to comfort a sad child.
If this sounds spiteful and ugly it is. But I think it is also appropriate, and who else would say it besides me?
Most people have something in their life that prevents them from leaning in. I don’t actually even think this is a gender thing. I coach hundreds of men whose earning power plateaus because they won’t relocate or they won’t work weekends, or they want to be home for spring break. It’s not that we are victims of life, it’s that at some point in most of our lives there comes a time when something else is more important than Leaning In.
I don’t have any evidence that it was a suicide. All I have is someone notable died and no one is saying how. And however Sheryl’s husband died is news, since she has been news for three years telling women their husband is instrumental into the process of Leaning In.
But really, I just want to know how Dave died. Because I think he killed himself. And if he did, this might tells us a lot about what happens when both people in marriage Lean In.
Update: A few hours after I published this post news outlets started reporting various other causes of death. Here is my response to those reports: Do we still have to lean in if Dave Goldberg is dead?
Guy was huge. Looked like he might have gone like Mama Cass and gagged on a sandwich.
But why stop there, though?
It’s entirely possible that Goldberg died hopped up on synthetic drugs while having an orgy with space aliens that sated his need for strangeness his wife could not satisfy.
People who lean in are usually smelling their own farts.
Treadmill accidents do occur but rarely in someone this age. Elderly people have treadmill accidents and many have neuropathy and are on many medications. To assign a cause of death when there is a head wound, no autopsy and no toxicology screen is beyond belief. Furthermore, the hotel denied that he was a guest. These pieces do not fit together.
It’s documented-the family declined any further testing/reports etc.
I’m a feminist.
I can’t stand Lean In.
This blog post is the tackiest thing I’ve ever read IN MY LIFE. For the love of God admit when you’re wrong. Digging in to try and spare yourself the embarrassment of saying “I was wrong and tacky the first time around” is just extra wrong and extra tacky.
I’m a feminist, and I had my reservations about Lean-In myself. But I truly believe Ms. Sandberg had the best intentions in writing it.
I know nothing about this man or his wife and had only heard references to ” Leaning In ” ….. When I read of a top executive dying of an undisclosed cause while on holiday ” overseas” , one laughs because such occurences so represented typically involve murder or some cause of death that is embarrassing to the family, eg SUICIDE ….or ….having a fatal heart attack while in the company of a woman-not your-wife.
The initial statement of the manner of death was ridiculous , even laughable. it’s been discredited. why then, did the family lie about the circumstances of this man’s death ?
From the media cover-up —and the almost vulgarly excessive and immediate tributes all about–it’s clear that a lot of people know what really happened– -and it’s more embarrassing than felonious.
I think we will eventually find that this man had a heart attack and died in a private bungalow while on a tryst in Mexico with some young tart….I suspect his wife found out where he was and what he was doing AT THE SAME TIME She found out he had died.
Apparently, this scenario was felt be devastating to this woman’s economic and political investment in “Leaning In” —so the media and other pals sharing her politics, went along with the ” TREADMILL RUSE ”
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You know what, I think this is probably what happened. He died mid-affair.
If I was her, I would have a huge brand on the line. If I were the friends and family, it’s awfully embarrassing and better to get everyone focused on moving forward than to really get into the details. Anyone close to them professionally would no longer really be able to say ‘lean in’ in all seriousness. I mean, his brother posted it (the tribute thing) before anything else! I think this also shows how Sheryl wasn’t there.
So the immediate tributes: I haven’t before seen a death in which tributes were the first thing to be posted. It was like, let’s skip the death thing, and go straight to the memorial.
When I told my well-to-do husband about the situation he immediately went to infidelity, then his second guess was suicide. I didn’t really think about it, until he mentioned it so matter-of-fact and with certainty. It kind of shocked me at first, but made sense. Absolutely no one really believes the Death Treadmill happened.
Then when she spoke about it she said the strangest thing, “If I had known this would have happened 11 years ago, I still would have married him.” Um Ok? I think it would only make sense to say that if it had been a one or 2 year marriage. It definitely gives off the vibe that something embarrassing happened or was happening and she is going to go ahead and accept it (but we will never find out!) like a self-assurance of her decision to marry him despite the indiscretion. That statement was all about her and I can’t imagine her saying that if he got thrown off a treadmill.
I don’t know if this says anything about Dave, from all accounts he was a nice guy. Nice guys have affairs all the time. He had a super stressful life and schedule. It is sad for his wife and kids though.
There was that other married Google exec that died after being injected with heroin by a prostitute while on vacation a little while back.
I just don’t see this as being that uncommon. (affairs)
Okay but why not just say he had a heart attack while exercising from the get-go? It’s like they went out of their way to say he didn’t have a heart attack but bled to death and now they are backing away from that narrative and leaking fake ‘heart arrythmia’ stories.
So you think he never bled to death at all? Than why introduce a completely unnecessary complication that conjures up bizarre flailing around or worse, murder? If they said he went to the resort for rest and down time, exercise, meditation, it would even excuse him being without his wife, and why he wasn’t missed by others for several hours.
God, you are a terrible person for writing this.
Now come on, you say that just based on a single post? You are really just unfair.
Well, maybe it was a good thing, maybe it was a bad thing. I am glad that Ms. Trunk was speaking a new tune here, one that we don’t see every day. It is so rare to find a new point of view in any news story!
Keep up the good work, I say.
I generally don’t post hateful comments and I think don’t need to although I do have the urge to. It is disgraceful that someone can write something like this about someone’s death. Somewhere the author seems to be enjoying this shameful speculation on a person’s accidental death.
And here is one more thing I should add. I think the author either doesn’t understand the concept of Leaning In or despises it because Sheryl and Leaning In seems to have become more popular amongst women than her career advice. So this article seems like a desperate vent of jealousy.
In case the author is interested, I can share some insights on where she is going wrong with Leaning In.
Sheryl doesn’t say go follow a tough demanding career, she says you CAN if you WANT to. She asks women not to make decisions on their careers based on things that may or not may happen in the future. She gives a lot of insight as to how we are accustomed to behave given the social structure and pressure. She is just asking people to broaden their horizons, change the status quo, all if you WANT to. She doesn’t say that having a demanding job is all that makes a person successful.
She is asking women to take charge and lead and make opportunities available for themselves.
She also doesn’t talk about having it all. In fact she says quite the contrary and talks about trade-off that you do need to make. No one can have it all. Neither does she set expectations like that. I think for this one, I think the author should check for facts!
Within the book she does talk about how having a great partner helps. A support system can help make matters simpler and better for anyone who wants to achieve greatness. Since women don’t get this support that easily (again due to our social structure), it is important to find or enable your partner to look at things in a bigger canvas and giving you that kind of respect and support.
It is sad to see that the author is only able to see a skewed version of the whole thing. Nothing that I say is enough for how pathetic and deplorable this article is and the vile attempts made by the writer to throw dirt at someone.
From what I have read in the news:
There are no witnesses who saw what happened who have come forward.
There is no one claiming that there was any family with him there in Mexico except his brother. No one has shown proof that either Sheryl or the two children were there.
There are three living grandparents who could have been with the children.
The news reports have repeated where they found him still breathing, but if there is no video no one knows where he was actually injured. If he wasn’t on the treadmill but off it, how does anyone know he was ever on it? He might have been hurt elsewhere.
Youse guys, youse guys. . . . All this speculatin’ makes me laugh in my Compari! Ain’t it pretty clear that de same hood what re-architected Harry Reid’s face did more or less de same number on Mr. Goldberg, may he rest in peace? Look at it dis way: both important guys, though Reid was and remains pondscum, and Mr. Goldberg seems to have been a real stand-up fella. Both tell unlikely stories about their “problems.” Public needs to know who’s beatin’ de crap outta our elected officials; public also needs to know what’s de story wid our mega-rich and powerful corporate bigwigs. Am I right, or what?
I like people who open up minds to possibilities beyond the customary and acceptable media bull crap we are fed every day.
30 people died in the last ten years from falling off a treadmill. The odds are quite low.
A billionaire alone in Mexico is wide open for trouble. Getting knocked over the head by someone or jumping off a roof are more likely causes.
People prefer not to think anything outside of what they want to believe and the media always gives us simple, easy to digest reports on everything.
The man was too young to go and the cause noted can easily be a cover up to protect the good name of the remaining family members who can afford to expect the press to follow the story hook, line, and sinker.
According to her interview with time Sheryl will resume: “her duties with Facebook this week, working on a modified schedule. She has also temporarily suspended work travel and will only work during the hours her children are in school.”
That’s right, now that super dad is gone she will manage just like most working Moms by scaling back, working during school hours and probably a few at night. The reality is without a take-one-for-the-team spouse it is really really difficult to Lean In. Even when the nanny/ paycheck equation works out it’s not always worth it to take extra responsibilities if you see your children for a mere hour a day. Try finding an overnight nanny so you can go to a conference or meet with a client out of state on short notice. Lean into that reality. It’s not for single parents or the #2 earner.
I’m not whining. I take responsibility for having my child and a career. Penelope is right kids cost your career, a lot.
I hate hearing the feminist-bashers make snide, cutting remarks about Sheryl Sandberg and women who “lean in”. Every single man out there “leans in” too. Everyday. When they go to work and expect their wives to be the primary caretaker of their children. These men can go to work and lean in all day. But not their wives. So, in all fairness, women cannot stop leaning in and pursuing professional success. Men need to learn to cut back on work if necessary and pick up the slack and take on equal responsibility. Child care, domestic responsibilities are not the jobs of women–it’s of both partners in a marriage.
Another question I have to ask to all Americans is–why is the United States the only country in the world (besides Papua New Guinea and a few tiny developing nations) that does not offer paid materinity leave for women?
We do not have a government social structure that pays companies to offer maternity leave to women. We also do not have the government childcare from young ages that most other nations have.
It’s basically: if you’re going to be a mom, be sure to do what you want to do career wise before having children. At least in the USA, with the low costs of living, people can achieve pretty good financial success quite young- but you have to work for it. No hand outs here. You decide to have a child, it’s on you to pay and care for that child, no subsidies, no help.
The good news is that a lot of women are moving their work online and making businesses for themselves, much like Penelope. I like the quote that there will soon be another relationship that develops that is no longer just entrepreneur, or employee.
Everybody’s on their high horse with some of these comments: hen-pecking and shaming Penelope for thinking and having the balls to say what a normal person would think or wonder about this situation.
And honestly, Do you REALLY think Penelope T. even *cares* what you think? No, she doesn’t. That’s why we love her. She’s bold. She’s irreverent, not-Politically correct, and she’s probably right about this guy. Which is why there are so many trolls attacking her on this blog– pretending to be so offended by her suicide remarks. Oh. Please. How disingenuous. Yes, Penelope has spoken out against the Lean In campaign from day one. But, she’s trying to demonstrate that the death of Sheryl’s husband severely hurts the credibility of the lean in message. it’s not sustainable. It’s fake. No relationship or marriage is perfect; we all make sacrifices and compromises. Just be real. PS I’m tired of all the political correctness. It’s BS. I’ve been affected by suicide in my immediate family. I’m not AT ALL ‘offended’ by Penelope’s article. It’s refreshing bc she’s actually thinking (God forbid) and not just going along with the mainstream media’s narrative.
I think most intelligent people who followed the case until the media trail went cold mid-month have concluded it is murder, not suicide. I was initially baffled by the Mexican autopsy claiming he died of a head wound on the back of the head from falling backwards. Why not say something believable like heart attack while exercising from the get-go if it’s a cover-up? Then, later in the week, they released an update hinting at ‘heart arrythmia’ based on ‘new info’ from the same Mexican autopsy, then after a few more days an ‘un-named source in Silicon Valley’ told People magazine that ‘it was heart trouble’. By this point “Sheryls going back to work’ was the big story.
According to a heart surgeon on another thread, 1. you cannot see arythmia in an autopsy, so that was a fabricated story, 2. you CAN see evidence of a heart attack 100% of the time in an autopsy and 3. officials will only lie in plausible ways which explains why they didn’t say heart attack from the beginning since the body was being shipped back to the US. This means the original story was correct, except for the circumstantial details, i.e. he did die from a blow to the back of the head, just probably not from some weird backwards spin off a treadmill.
Originally they tried to spin the story by saying it was blood loss because he laid there for hours, rather than immediate death, then when there was so much dis-belief gradually turned the story back to heart problems and after the body was safely buried. Yes, it looks like he was murdered and his wife may have had something to do with it. Frightening what you can get away with when you and your buddies run google and facebook.
Forgot to mention but this seems to rule out suicide- delivering a blow to the back of one’s own head does not seem a reliable way to do the deed! What was her motive then? Maybe it was an affair but killed by a lover? Why? Maybe he asked for a divorce?
Disgusting speculation that was irresponsible and offensive. He died of a heart arrhythmia.
How do you know? That can’t be seen on an autopsy.
I survived a defective heart valve last year. I was fit, active and adventurous. When I read about Dave’s death I was both sad and…. riveted. Men with my particular genetic defect tend to just drop in their mid 40’s…… As warning signs, some feel pain, some don’t. Some go to the ER, some don’t. I did and lived. I couldn’t help but wonder what really made a super smart, normal, somewhat fit man die on a treadmill. My condition could have been the cause and it’s important for people to know what to act on.
A defective valve could be diagnosed by autopsy…
well, I got this. funny. loved it.
Ms.Trunk, I read a LOT of incredibly bigoted/spiteful things on the internet but this has got to be up there ! And I like how you started out by being sympathetic only to bring us to the ridiculous conclusion of “sucide” because Mr.Goldberg’s wife was a successful career woman and praised her husband for supporting her career ! Because of course, the only way to keep our husbands alive is to become a farmer’s wife ! ( Although from what I hear they probably “lean in ” all the time. It is OK to have an opinion Ms.Trunk , but try using convincing facts and reasonable/logical arguments to prove your points.
This must be the most miserable blog I have ever read!
I can’t remember who recommended Penelope Trunk as one of ten bloggers people should follow because “these 10 bloggers are thought leaders,” but a person, who wonders if somebody’s husband committed suicide out loud, is hardly a leader in anything.
(quoting P.Trunk) “… But really, I just want to know how Dave died. Because I think he killed himself…”
You “just want to know”?
Suggesting that you read the National Enquirer, or apply for a job there.