We have a huge vegetable garden. While the Farmer was planting huge crops of corn and hay, I was planting twenty types of vegetables. I have not bought vegetables from the store since May, when the first lettuce was ripe.

This is a picture of me digging through our forty tomato plants.

When I was putting them in the ground, I never dreamed that forty would really grow. In the northern suburbs of Chicago, where I grew up, the vegetables we planted never came up. So I sort of planned for that. But instead, I have an incredible supply of tomatoes.

When I can find them. Because I didn’t stake the tomatoes. So every couple of days, I go out and hunt for them, in what has become a thick brush of tomato stems.

I thought what I wanted was a constant supply of vegetables, so I didn’t pay much attention to the tricks of the trade that my Amish neighbors exhibited when it comes to planting neat, perfect rows of vegetables. Now I’m thinking that what I wanted was neatness and order. I don’t need enough tomatoes to feed ten families. I need nice rows to wander through and vegetables that I can see before I pick.

I wish this weren’t true, but so much of knowing what we want comes from setting our lives up in a way where we don’t get it. Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert wrote a whole book based on the premise that we have no idea what makes us happy. He says that the emotional survival of the human race required us to guess terribly about what we’d like to be doing.

I am trying to get better at seeing what I need. One thing I notice is that people make the same mistakes over and over when they are identifying what they need.

1. Look at patterns.
It’s easier for other people to see what you need than for you to see it.

When I am coaching people, they always pay for an hour-long session, but it rarely takes more than fifteen minutes for me to know what they should be doing. This is because none of us is particularly unique in our career issues, but each of us thinks we are especially unique. So I see patterns while the person who is on the other end of the phone sees differences.

2. Looking for a job should not be difficult.
If you can’t find the job you want it’s probably because you’re looking for the wrong job. It’s important to know what you’re looking for. Recruiters can tell in ten seconds if you are a good fit for what you’re looking for, in a similar way that a girl from Match.com can tell in ten seconds if the blind date standing across from her is a good fit for what he said he’s looking for.

It’s so easy for someone else to tell if it’s a good fit. But it’s hard for us to judge for ourselves. A good rule of thumb, though, is that if you have been looking for a job for more than six months, you are not looking for the right job for you. Probably, you are in denial about where you are, who you are or what is going on around you. You need a coach, just for an hour, or maybe just fifteen minutes, to show you that you’re looking for the wrong job, and what the right job is.

3. Don’t look for a career, look for a life.
It’s normal to not know what career you’d want. Because there is no way to guess what career you’d be happy in without doing it. Gilbert says that only 5% of people guess right on the first try because it’s so impossible to know. The way to increase your odds of guessing right is to look at someone’s life. Choose a life you want and then pick the career that person used to get that life.

This means that if you want to be a surgeon and be home with your kids for dinner, you need to first find a surgeon that has that life. (And you won’t, of course.) It means that if you want to get rich from the Internet you need to recognize that the life people lead as they get rich from the Internet is a life where work is 24/7.

Here’s an audio clip of Steven Roy interviewing me on this topic. (If you ever wondered if I am nicer on the phone than I am on the blog, this will assure you: I’m not.)

4. Don’t look for connection, look for vulnerability.
This is a fascinating TED talk by Brene Brown. She studies how people feel connected, and she found that the world divides into people who feel connected and people who don’t. And the difference is shame. People who do not think they are worthy of connections do not have connections.

Brown says that in order to remedy this problem, you shouldn’t look for people to connect with but rather, you should look for shame. Because somewhere, inside yourself, there is a sense of shame, that you are not worth loving or being loved. And with shame comes an inability to be vulnerable.

I loved watching this video because it made the world so much more simple to me: People who cannot connect cannot be vulnerable. That makes sense to me. And vulnerability in myself is easier to look for than looking for someone else to connect with. I can control my own vulnerability.

5. Don’t bother with structural barriers, the real barriers are emotional.
I really believe that deep down, we know what we should be doing next. We know what we should be looking for. I think it goes back to when we were kids, and we could figure out what felt good and what didn’t. And then we spent our childhoods trying to feel good about what other people wanted us to feel good about.

The real challenge after growing up that way is being able to look at ourselves honestly again. It is maybe the most difficult thing we must do.

92 replies
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  1. Taradillard
    Taradillard says:

    Oooooooh Sweetness,

    Don’t you know we all think we are going to recreate the garden wheel? NOPE.

    Easy? Why do you think there aren’t more fabulous landscapes or potagers?

    Have a ridiculous horticulture degee. Stupid waste of time.

    My success lies in my mistakes. Made them before you & bigger.

    Now, bad economy, ‘silly’, landscape design is paying all my bills. Aside from same garden mistakes as you’ve made, life stink/stank/stunk escaping into garden, I have had MENTORS. And knew to pay attention to the Historic gardens of Italy while studying across European landscapes for 2decades…..

    You are stubborn, & I love it.

    Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

  2. Taradillard
    Taradillard says:

    Oooooooh Sweetness,

    Don’t you know we all think we are going to recreate the garden wheel? NOPE.

    Easy? Why do you think there aren’t more fabulous landscapes or potagers?

    Have a ridiculous horticulture degee. Stupid waste of time.

    My success lies in my mistakes. Made them before you & bigger.

    Now, bad economy, ‘silly’, landscape design is paying all my bills. Aside from same garden mistakes as you’ve made, life stink/stank/stunk escaping into garden, I have had MENTORS. And knew to pay attention to the Historic gardens of Italy while studying across European landscapes for 2decades…..

    You are stubborn, & I love it.

    Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

  3. Taradillard
    Taradillard says:

    Oooooooh Sweetness,

    Don’t you know we all think we are going to recreate the garden wheel? NOPE.

    Easy? Why do you think there aren’t more fabulous landscapes or potagers?

    Have a ridiculous horticulture degee. Stupid waste of time.

    My success lies in my mistakes. Made them before you & bigger.

    Now, bad economy, ‘silly’, landscape design is paying all my bills. Aside from same garden mistakes as you’ve made, life stink/stank/stunk escaping into garden, I have had MENTORS. And knew to pay attention to the Historic gardens of Italy while studying across European landscapes for 2decades…..

    You are stubborn, & I love it.

    Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

  4. Amy
    Amy says:

    This is so good.   This is what you should have just said a few days ago. 

    “People who cannot connect cannot be vulnerable.”  

    But somewhere it just all implodes and then you have a choice to keep not really connecting to anything or to cry like crazy and feel it. 

    I hope your twice weekly therapy lets you connect and feel something, even if it hurts.  I think it would be worth it.

  5. Amy Parmenter
    Amy Parmenter says:

    Yes. yes!!  Penelope, may I suggest you try some dreamwork.  As in Jungian analysis.  When a person has trouble identifying what they really want – as in what they wanted before others told them what to want – dreamwork can be extremely revealing.  If you haven’t ever done it – I think you would find it both telling..and fascinating.  I think I might know someone who could do dreamwork by phone if you’re interested.

    Anyway…sounds as if you are headed in a good direction.

    Amy Parmenter
    The ParmFarm

  6. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Love Brene Brown, her books and perspective on shame really helped me. Never thought of looking for a clip of her live, so thanks for that. I think I might be one of the few people who picked the correct career the first time around. Not sure how I’m supposed to know, but it feels right, and I’m happy. I’m a musician, which tends to be one of those careers that everyone thinks is wonderful and idyllic. But most people who end up doing it seem to be tortured and miserable. I enjoy your posts that talk about music lessons for your son. That is such a great gift you are giving him. I’m sure you know that, but as a person who discovered most of the great things in life through a path started by music, I’ll just say that it’s huge, really. 

  7. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Love Brene Brown, her books and perspective on shame really helped me. Never thought of looking for a clip of her live, so thanks for that. I think I might be one of the few people who picked the correct career the first time around. Not sure how I’m supposed to know, but it feels right, and I’m happy. I’m a musician, which tends to be one of those careers that everyone thinks is wonderful and idyllic. But most people who end up doing it seem to be tortured and miserable. I enjoy your posts that talk about music lessons for your son. That is such a great gift you are giving him. I’m sure you know that, but as a person who discovered most of the great things in life through a path started by music, I’ll just say that it’s huge, really. 

    • Nessa
      Nessa says:

      I think the readers who don’t want her to talk about personal issues constitute a relatively small demographic… sorry but this comment sounds presumptuous and condescending masked as niceness. Ick. 

    • Nessa
      Nessa says:

      I think the readers who don’t want her to talk about personal issues constitute a relatively small demographic… sorry but this comment sounds presumptuous and condescending masked as niceness. Ick. 

      • Pen
        Pen says:

        Plus, who said this is career advice and not advice for one’s personal life or musing on her own?  Or maybe just life in general, to include both.

      • my honest answer
        my honest answer says:

        I think a lot of people came here initially for career advice. Now MOST readers do want to hear about Penelope’s personal issues, but only in a voyeuristic way in my opinion. They  just enjoy watching the train wreck from a safe distance. That is nothing to be proud of. We’re not doing Penelope a favor by letting her spill her guts out on her blog. If anything, we’re more akin to enablers. 

        • Nessa
          Nessa says:

          So, what does that make you? What are you here for?

          I disagree. I’m not a voyeur. I am a human being. I don’t want my career advice from a career-advice-generator-robot-computer. I want my career advice from a person. 

  8. MBL
    MBL says:

    I think you should embrace your tomato thicket and look for patterns there. I’ll bet you could get some fantastic shots of progressive stages, interesting compositions, and gorgeous light.

    Don’t forget the gardening gloves since the little hairs on the stems (surely that is the proper botanical term :D) can be irritating.

  9. Jennifer
    Jennifer says:

    Oh, I love this post!  I love the idea of finding someone whose life you want, and then looking at what career they do.  I think for women in particular, though, that makes transparency even more important.  Too often we hear about women who do everything–fabulous job, four perfect kids, time for everything, etc.  Not enough is said about what that person is giving up, though, be it going to your kids’ games, or your husband’s career, whatever.  There is always a price to career decisions (staying home with kids, of course, has a price too) but I think we do young people a disservice when we aren’t honest about what that price is.  Then they pick a careers wondering why they too can’t do it all.  Again, love the post! 

  10. Jennifer Soodek
    Jennifer Soodek says:

    Penelope, I believe that point #4 is an extremely accurate description of how shame interferes in one’s ability to move forward in life. Shame occurs for many reasons, usually related to issues that are unresolved in childhood. Shame is often the reason people get “stuck” and are unable to achieve their goals. It can also be the excuse they make for themselves.

    Point #5 is tricky. I think people often don’t really know what they should be doing. They become preprogramed to follow a certain path; possibly influenced by what their parent’s expectations were of them. They may be victims of circumstance and/or never had the opportunities to pursue their dreams.

    Whatever the reason, there is help available. People who are willing to take a risk can explore their interests and personality type through many assessment tools that provide insight and useable information that can help them move forward.

    I have found that most people are so afraid to take risks, to challenge themselves, to go after their dream. It is a shame, because everyone really has the potential to be anything.

  11. Betsy
    Betsy says:

    In the meantime, bring your excess tomatoes to your neighbors. Why? 1. It builds connections 2.  It reduces waste because how many tomatoes can you consume if there’s enough for 10 families?  3. Sharing eases emotional barriers.
    PS  If you don’t know how to can tomatoes, ask your neighbors to teach you by letting you help them. 

  12. Brian
    Brian says:

    The phrase “look at ourselves honestly again” reminded me of an essay by Chion Wolf about atheism (http://www.facebook.com/WNPRWolfie/posts/168798996487212).  She describes being accountable for her choices, purposefully making herself difficult to hide.  I don’t share her opinions on atheism, but there is a lot of wisdom in being accountable, and I think the human instinct to hide when hurt is ultimately bad for us.

  13. Brian
    Brian says:

    The phrase “look at ourselves honestly again” reminded me of an essay by Chion Wolf about atheism (http://www.facebook.com/WNPRWolfie/posts/168798996487212).  She describes being accountable for her choices, purposefully making herself difficult to hide.  I don’t share her opinions on atheism, but there is a lot of wisdom in being accountable, and I think the human instinct to hide when hurt is ultimately bad for us.

  14. Diana
    Diana says:

    A) i grew tomatoes from seed this year and i never believed they would bear fruit. Until they did! So I know what you mean.
    B) I know you have tons of gardening space, but this book is more about keeping your garden organized. You can also plant it in a raised bed, so you don’t have to bend over to weed, you can just sit! I think you will like The New square foot gardening by mel bartholomew.
    C) I dont know why I have trouble connecting, but I think about this a lot. The shame angle has given me something new to think about, so thanks very much! Maybe I won’t die without friends after all!

  15. RD
    RD says:

    I think you are missing the point about vulnerability.  It is not about “controlling” vulnerability.  It is about accepting it.    

  16. Kay Lorraine
    Kay Lorraine says:

    So I listened to Steven Roy’s audio clip.  Then I voted on his blog site.  He won’t like it.  Bummer!

  17. Deena McClusky
    Deena McClusky says:

    I think you really hit on something with number five. I think that if you can look back with clarity at your childhood, then sometime between 5th and 7th grade you knew exactly what you wanted to be when you grew up. Sometime shortly after that realization someone in your life, a teacher or a parent most likely, convinced you that you were wrong and pushed you in a different direction. People that grew up to be exactly what they imagined at that age are some of the happiest people I know, and those who allowed themselves to be forced into a different life are the most miserable and bitter.

    • MJ
      MJ says:

      I think that you are right – I keep learning about people who did what they wanted (business, music, whatever) and they kept faith in themselves, worked on something they valued, and seem happy.  And then there is the huge mass of kids who were pushed into what would make the family look better (law, medicine, business) and are still pissed off in their 40s and 50s.  No one seems to have that wisdom and hindsight in time to stop the train wreck, though.

    • Chloe
      Chloe says:

      Deena, I think this is probably true for lots of people, but when I reflect back to the me  that I was in the 5th grade, I come face to face with the disturbing fact that the ONE thing–the ONLY thing–I wanted to be when I was in the 5th grade was a Playboy Bunny. As far as I was concerned, THAT was the ultimate dream job.

      I’m pretty sure this dream was influenced by the fact that our house with littered with Playboy Magazines and my father paid a hell of a lot more attention to them than my poor, bedraggled mother who’d just had her fourth baby.

      It might have been the era, but even at nine I could see very well that women’s lives sucked rocks and there wasn’t a whole hell of a lot I could do about that seeing as I was born one.

      Being the object of men’s desire seemed the only way out, I guess (I don’t really know).

      Sadly, my porn dreams never did come true. Yes, there was that time when I was 16 when I was picked up while hitchhiking by a van full of pornographers who, for some miraculous reason didn’t take me out to the desert and make me the star of some snuff film, Oh, and there were those pictures I let that weird neighbor take when I was 18 (which I would kill for to see today!), but otherwise I never even came close.

      Maybe I would be the happiest person I’d know if they had, but here in my 40s I think this dream is unlikely to come to pass for me now.

      I keep coming back to Penelope’s blog hoping somehow there’s some answer for me here on what the eff I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life, but I’m afraid that there just isn’t any answer.

  18. Alex Dogliotti
    Alex Dogliotti says:

    Hi Penelope, nice post. The problem with ‘looking for a life’ is that we always picture that life to be ‘different’ for us. You want to be the marketing guru who works from the beach, or the social media guy who makes millions with a couple of hours work. You know it doesn’t work like that, but you think you’re different. You’re unique. So, my point is: Even before you take an honest look at yourself as you suggest, take an even harder look at what you wish for. That is NOT unique. Are you? If you’re not, change.

  19. Mark Wiehenstroer
    Mark Wiehenstroer says:

    I actually listened to the whole audio clip of your interview with Steven Roy. It was very interesting and I don’t agree that you were angry with him. Direct but not angry and that really threw him for a loop. I think you gave him some good career advice and he’ll get traffic to boot. Maybe he should send you flowers although I’m not sure how his wife would take it if he’s not getting her flowers on a somewhat regular basis.
    Also the TED talk by Brene Brown was very good. One thing I noticed was that when she talked about vulnerability, shame was her main focus of her verbal message even though her graphic included both shame and fear. So I went back and listened for the word fear in her talk and found it at the 7′ 35″ mark (I would recommend starting at about the 7 minute mark) – “… the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear is that we’re not being worthy of connection …”. Two things here – I wish Brene Brown expounded upon the fear aspect and also a transcript would be a nice addition. I think this falls under the category of always wanting more.

  20. Scsbuckley
    Scsbuckley says:

    Wow Penelope, particularly section 4…just wiped me out in a positive way. Thank you so much for posting this.

  21. Steve
    Steve says:

    Penelope,
    Thanks for posting the clip from our interview and thank you so much more for the straight forward and no bullshit advice you gave me. Many of my readers thought you were being too hard, but they almost all agreed that the advice you gave was spot on.
    I personally didn’t think you were being too harsh although it was a huge eye opener and I was kind of in shock afterwards.

    I have a ton of respect for you as a person and as a entrepreneur and I am truly grateful for the advice you gave me. It helped more than you know..

  22. MJ
    MJ says:

    “I think it goes back to when we were kids, and we could figure out what felt good and what didn't. And then we spent our childhoods trying to feel good about what other people wanted us to feel good about.”

    Bingo, bingo, bingo.

    I’m still in recovery – not acknowledging what I might want because it isn’t “proper.”

    One note on coaching, though – a good coach might be helpful, but there are plenty of bad ones out there.  I defined “bad coach” as someone who can’t get beyond his/her own experience to help others – whatever you ‘should’ be is what they did after they left their prior unloved work or job and got free.  No, what you need to do might be totally different.

  23. W&l
    W&l says:

    Thank you for this post!! I love it! I would also like to Thank You for sharing what you have been going through I have been going through something very similar and have felt so much better knowing that I am not alone and that there are others on the same boat. I truly admire you and will continue to reading your blog it has truly been an eye opener & has encouraged me to look at my situation any myself in a very different way.

  24. Cmb
    Cmb says:

    Cute post. 

    My father in law, king of the inability to anything small, planted 300 tomato plants this year. Seriously, 300 plants. Do you have any idea how many tomato 300 plants produce? Me either, but I know its a LOT of tomatoes. My wife, myself, my family, friends, everyone has gotten tomatoes this year. My grandparents grow and can tomatoes also. This year there is certainly no shortage of canned tomatoes, stewed tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, and salsa, all homemade and delicious. We will be eating a lot of stews and soups and chili this winter.

    Also, one another note I liked your idea of looking for a life you want then looking at that career. I am currently working out my notice after leaving my job of 10+ years because I don’t want the lifestyle that is associated with my career. I’m not a doctor and don’t want to be on call 24/7 with an average of 55 hour work weeks. Fine, if that’s what you want, but not for me. I might be doing it backward, leaving my career because it’s not the life I want. So now I am looking at the life I want and how I can make a career I don’t hate fit into that life because it’s what I do outside of work that really matters to me. 

    Thanks again, reading your past posts really helped me realize what I didn’t want and helped give me to courage to leave. 

  25. Cmb
    Cmb says:

    Cute post. 

    My father in law, king of the inability to anything small, planted 300 tomato plants this year. Seriously, 300 plants. Do you have any idea how many tomato 300 plants produce? Me either, but I know its a LOT of tomatoes. My wife, myself, my family, friends, everyone has gotten tomatoes this year. My grandparents grow and can tomatoes also. This year there is certainly no shortage of canned tomatoes, stewed tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, and salsa, all homemade and delicious. We will be eating a lot of stews and soups and chili this winter.

    Also, one another note I liked your idea of looking for a life you want then looking at that career. I am currently working out my notice after leaving my job of 10+ years because I don’t want the lifestyle that is associated with my career. I’m not a doctor and don’t want to be on call 24/7 with an average of 55 hour work weeks. Fine, if that’s what you want, but not for me. I might be doing it backward, leaving my career because it’s not the life I want. So now I am looking at the life I want and how I can make a career I don’t hate fit into that life because it’s what I do outside of work that really matters to me. 

    Thanks again, reading your past posts really helped me realize what I didn’t want and helped give me to courage to leave. 

  26. CSreport
    CSreport says:

    Thank you, Penelope.  This was such a great post for so many reasons, career, personal…  It’s a new perspective that is actionable.

    I had been doing my job the same way for 16 years, and was always struggling.   That’s how I found your blog…searching for answers.   Now I’m in the process of customizing my job to suit the life that I want to live, instead of my job running my life and wearing me down.  I’m making choices that feel good, deep down, and I’m no longer fearing the consequences, because as it turns out, the consequences have also all been good, I’m making more money and actually enjoying my work for the first time in many, many years.

    Sometimes, changing jobs isn’t the answer.   Changing how you live first, and then tweeking your job until it flows can work too.    

      • CSreport
        CSreport says:

        Maybe this will be helpful because this is what I did.   I let go of who I used to be completely.  Sad, but necessary.  I left my old self behind.  I let go of feeding my desire for money and ego, and that liberated me, freed me to accept change.

        From there, I had to figure out my new priorities and values, and letting go of any fear of the changes that might happen.  Make no decisions based on fear.

        I started doing my current job based on a new set of priorities and values.  Like instead of a paycheck, I focused on good work ethic and pride in what I’m doing and being helpful to everybody around me, with no fear of the consequences.  I made personal decisions the same way.  I focused on being around people that bring out the best in me and my personality.  That’s how I chose my current boyfriend and will choose future friends.  If something feels “wrong”, just stop and change course.  Do not fear being alone or unemployed or making mistakes.  Those fears will only trap you where you are.  Focus on moving forward, ideas, and sharing yourself.  

        Best of luck.

        • Chloe
          Chloe says:

          CSreport, This is what I think I need to do. Three nights in a row I dreamed that I was living in a new house, bright and sunny, and all the things that are stressing me out were all gone. And I knew it was really that easy, but it meant letting go of security and my fear.

          Sigh.

          Thanks for the good words. I need to hear them even if they do terrify me.

  27. Yuan
    Yuan says:

    It’s interesting watching the video, because what she is saying is pretty much right, but the way she is behaving during the presentation (remarks, jokes) suggest that she is totally still faking everything and not being vulnerable (and hence, connected). 

    So here is the question: it’s easy to know what is right and what is wrong, but how can we actually do what is right and avoid what we know is wrong? 

    It seems that nobody practices what they preach.

  28. Chloe
    Chloe says:

    So Penelope, I love my life, but hate my job. My job gives me a great life when I’m not there, but when I’m there or thinking about going there I want to slam a stiletto through my temple. I’ve had to start taking medication to tolerate my job. That’s doesn’t seem right, does it?

    I’m wrestling with the fact that maybe I’m just the sort of person who can never be content. And this sucks because I want to be content, but maybe I’m just too screwed up for it to ever happen for me. Do I really have to have a career that makes me happy? How important is this anyway?

  29. Sandra
    Sandra says:

    Listened to the interview and loved your laser like ability to get to the point of what to do (what he should do). Also, liked hearing your accent. I’ve wondered what you sound like

  30. Alex Dogliotti
    Alex Dogliotti says:

    FYI, guys if you haven’t listened to the podcast with Penelope linked on this post, do. Seriously, do. That 30 minutes conversation can easily replace an entire literature on goal setting. Penelope, you’re good. 

  31. A reader..
    A reader.. says:

    Penelope, you are brilliant. I don’t usually click on a lot of links when reading a post even though they all look so very interesting, but I did this one. I wanted to hear you as I had forgotten how you sounded like. And was I glad I did. I had the pleasure of hearing you (was very nice..as it completed my picture of you) as well as the interview. I was rivetted. It was very interesting and thought-provoking. I think we all benefit from this kind of a brutal honesty, a passionate honesty, even though it can be very hard to take. Love you Penelope! You are so sharp. And you are adorable.

    If I were to be on the receiving end being advised, oh god Penelope, I’d get a good talk for sure. Perhaps I need that force, that direction. I feel am going so slow. We all make this world in our imagination…but a general idea doesn’t get us there, although it’s a good start. We stall. Perhaps some blocks. We say we don’t have as much time as we should as we are working another job, or that we are tired. We take initiatives here and there and KNOW we Want to do it, but even we can see we are not showing everyday “commitment”. Still, we aspire. The hunger to be That, to reach That place, to be that kind of person being brilliant in their creation, is there. Like you said, maybe we like something in our current life the way it is. The comfort zone can be seductive, a killer.. we get hypnotized by habits. Yet, on a deep level, it’s dissatisfying. We know we are losing time. We know we are here to shine our most authentic selves and share our gifts with the world. Create. We don’t ever want to give up the aspiration, our coming home to ourselves. We just have to have vision, courage, and discipline. The one word that keeps repeating in my mind from the interview is Goals. Thanks Penelope for sharing this. I just need to pull my socks up. Take care.. and hugs..

    p.s.: (sorry for long post :)

  32. Shell
    Shell says:

    I heard the audio interview with the blogger. I recognised myself in his lack of understanding of why he was doing the things he was doing to ostensibly change career, and how he was getting defensive about being pinned down to face up to that. Back to the drawing board for me (or is that just a pattern?). OMG. Sick of questioning myself! I love your blog. I’m glad to hear it’s because of the honesty. For a while I thought it was the familiar edgy craziness.

  33. Dale
    Dale says:

    You need to know yourself before you can know what you really want.  Either pay for therapy or have a real friend or honest family member tell you who you are and/or what would be best for you.

  34. Dale
    Dale says:

    Penny, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.  You were very kind to Steven Roy, but there needs to be follow through with some people.  He needs a support group to keep him on task because he isn’t inwardly motivated.
    So, what are you going to do to fix your situation… to fix yourself?

    Be well.

  35. Rachel
    Rachel says:

    Ha ha!  I’m listening to your podcast and it is making me laugh while I wake up!  But more importantly, the advice is dead-on and so are the criticisms.

  36. CareeristReader
    CareeristReader says:

    Penelope, your honest words and realistic demeanor demonstrates who you are and for the people who does not understand your purpose for the things that you do and say, its okay. They will understand sooner or later. As for Steve’s interview with you, I agree with what you suggested for him, it is the way that you handled the situation that made people perceive you as being harsh. I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you for your input and contribution to the world because what you do is changing lives one person at a time.

  37. CareeristReader
    CareeristReader says:

    Penelope, your honest words and realistic demeanor demonstrates who you are and for the people who does not understand your purpose for the things that you do and say, its okay. They will understand sooner or later. As for Steve’s interview with you, I agree with what you suggested for him, it is the way that you handled the situation that made people perceive you as being harsh. I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you for your input and contribution to the world because what you do is changing lives one person at a time.

  38. CareeristReader
    CareeristReader says:

    Penelope, your honest words and realistic demeanor demonstrates who you are and for the people who does not understand your purpose for the things that you do and say, its okay. They will understand sooner or later. As for Steve’s interview with you, I agree with what you suggested for him, it is the way that you handled the situation that made people perceive you as being harsh. I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you for your input and contribution to the world because what you do is changing lives one person at a time.

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