Beware of Leo Babauta’s minimalist lifestyle
I was talking with Leo Babauta a few weeks ago. The topic of the conversation was his new book, focus. But of course I am not good at focus. So here is a picture of a book I just bought that is not Leo’s book, but I really like it: The Selby is in Your Place. It’s full of photos of people who turned their apartments into art. Totally eccentric, often over-furnished, but always totally interesting.
I would not have bought the book if it didn’t match my house so well. More on that later.
I told Leo I thought it was BS that he is Mr. Minimalism and he moved to San Francisco. I told him that the biggest cultural shift for me from New York City to the farm is the surprise shift to extreme minimalism. So I am sure that his move to San Francisco means he is tossing in the minimalism towel.
Leo has great resources on his blog about leading a minimalist lifestyle. But I think minimalism is lifestyle porn. It’s something that people think would be nice to dream about for their lives, but in fact, there is the dirty flip side to minimalism: It’s scary boring, which, I think, is why Leo moved his family to San Francisco—to expand what’s available to his kids.
I have thought often about the slippery slope from minimalism to boring even though I don’t write about my own minimalism issues that much. First of all, my own minimalism is totally accidental, so I didn’t even know I was a minimalist until recently. Second, I think a minimalist life is a product of many small decisions rather than a single big one. (For example, losing all my possessions to bed bugs.)
Plus, I discredit all straight men who do not have a wife or kids and claim to be minimalists. They are not minimalists, they are just bachelors, programmed over thousands of years to use sex to accumulate possessions rather than shopping.
And anyone who is doing minimalist experiments—like not buying anything for a year, stuff like that—isn’t really a minimalist. It’s like doing a dog trick. People clap, and then you go back to stealing from plates on the dinner table.
Sustainable minimalism requires a few things:
1. A job that does not require a lot of face-to-face contact. (For face-to-face contact you need transportation, clothes, and stuff that makes you fit easily in the flow of a business work day.)
2. Kids who are not exposed to a lot of advertising. My kids almost never ask to buy anything because they never see anything to buy. These same kids, living in NYC, asked for something in every window we walked by.
3. A social circle of people who are minimalists. There is no point in getting rid of everything if you must also get rid of your friends. So if not having stuff interferes with relationships, I don’t see the point.
Finally, before I tell you about my own minimalism, let me say that it’s not that fun to talk about because people get defensive. Like, if I tell people I have never had a TV, they need to tell me about their own TV habits or lack thereof. But I don’t care. I don’t have a TV because I never had one as a kid. I just don’t understand the TV thing. It’s not a high-and-mighty cultural decision.
You have never met a minimalist like the farmer, before he met me. He didn’t have a phone, or Internet, or a car. He seldom left the farm, and he hadn’t bought clothes for himself in maybe a decade. The result was extreme loneliness, and over-dependence on his parents, which were the only people who could make their way into such a closed-off life.
A lot of what we buy is stuff to facilitate connections. Like gifts, wine glasses, replacing a doorbell.
So, here’s what I do not have:
Anything that is not functional—no tsotchkes in the house, besides books.
Loose toys. Any toy on the floor I throw out. The kids are constantly asking me if I threw out something they are looking for. This will scar them for life.
I sometimes even throw out their books. Or mine, if they are a too ugly. I am starting to think of books as objects to look at.
I mean, I’ve already read them, and it’s easy to read them on a Kindle or, if you want to hold them, use the library. So the books have to be nice to look at in my house. I think we can no longer say books are functional, so I want them to be beautiful or fun and now I see them as an extravagance. But it’s not coincidence that the extravagance I allow myself is connected with exposure to new ideas.
On the farm it’s easy to own very little. I don’t miss it because we are on our own—no keeping up with the Jones. We have no blender, no microwave, no toaster oven. Our fridge is very small, and we have no kitchen cabinets because I didn’t want to fill them.
We each wear the same four or five outfits over and over again. If we haven’t worn something in a year, I throw it out.
If we bring something besides food into the house, we have to throw something out.
You’d be surprised how little you miss.
When I lived in NYC I felt a constant pressure to buy stuff. Keeping kids clothed like other kids, having birthday parties like other kids (great birthday party link here —thanks, Natt), having adult clothing like other adults. The reason you can spot a tourist in ten seconds in NYC is because people who don’t live in NYC don’t spend nearly the time and money that New Yorkers do on their appearance.
Life on the farm is slow. Very slow. No one here has an iPad. People don’t know who Jon Stewart is, they don’t know the difference between The New Yorker and New York magazine. The opportunities are very limited. I have to be very careful to make sure my kids understand the world beyond the farm.
So I’m not saying Leo’s move from Guam to San Francisco is bad. I get the reasoning. I just think it’s the antithesis of minimalism. I think that Leo’s latest book, in the wake of his move to San Francisco, is sort of an ode to what one gives up when one seeks out diversity, interestingness, and intellectual stimulation.
And I wonder, do we need a guide to minimalism, or do we need a guide to understanding where our own sweet spot is on the continuum between minimalism and interestingness?
A HOMELESS PERSON IS THE EXTREME OF MINIMALIST.
I LIVED ON THE STREETS FOR 3 YEARS, NO SOCKS, NO UNDERWEAR,NO TRANSPORTATION,ONE PAIR OF BLUEJEANS,ONE SHIRT.NO HAIRCUTS,NO TOOTH PASTE.PUBLIC TOILETS,
36 YEARS LATER I NOW LIVE IN A 4000 SQUARE FOOT HOUSE,TWO CARS,PLENTY OF MONEY,RETIRED
MORE IS BETTER,
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The comment about single men is very narrow-minded point of view. As I downsized d/t a divorce and educating myself on buddhism I learned that there is a better way to live. As a nurse there are certain things I cannot mini Alize. However this shldnt discredit anyone. Step down from ur horse
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Highly descriptive post, I liked that bit. Will there be a part 2?
“Plus, I discredit all straight men who do not have a wife or kids and claim to be minimalists. They are not minimalists, they are just bachelors, programmed over thousands of years to use sex to accumulate possessions rather than shopping”
Sorry, I was really confused what this part meant. Could someone make it clearer?
It’s just I like the idea of minimalism, but I’m a straight male who doesn’t have a wife and kids. It seems to be broad and sweeping statement to immediately discredit people in the category of unmarried and liking minimalism…
Then again, I plan to get married, but it isn’t first on my list of things to do right now since I’m only 16…
It is funny how you are a minimalist when it gets to your kids stuff, but you are a hoarder when it gets to your OWN books.
I think there is not a religion called minimalism. In my opinion, minimalism is the minimum each individual feels comfortable with. My minimalism is not the same as another person’s minimalism. I became a minimalist around 2years ago and I never knew of the term then.
We have two cars, because where we live is almost impossible to walk anywhere. That is OWR minimal need. We used to have tons of decorative items and when I became minimalist, I got rid of almost all. It felt sooooooo good. We moved to a townhouse half the size of our old house. It is still a 1800 sq , but for us moving from a 4000sq house is a minimalistic place. My closet has 1/6 of all the clothes I used to own and this makes me so happy and makes my life so much easier.
I believe being minimalistic is relative and varied based on each individual situation.
The best minimalistic we did was getting rid of debt and have a nice saving. In the past we both worked full time and had tons of junk. But now with our new minimalistic lifestyle and now buying anything we do not need, we manage to pay off all our debt and I have the luxury of staying home with my two kids.
I am still reducing and simplifying my life style and organizing our finances and all my family is loving it. We are so much happier and more relax.
So every thing is relative, even minimalism.
I meant not buying any thing we do not need. Sorry about the typo.
LOL – you are hilarious to read!
Probably because I feel we are similar in certain ways… like recently I found out my love of space lets me fall into the minimalist category and although I don’t have children, the first ‘spring clean’ that I did with my partner left him slightly scarred and anytime he couldn’t find something he asked if I’d thrown it out. :) I enjoyed this article and look forward to reading more of your work.
“I think we can no longer say books are functional” Lol? Read them once. Twice. Join a book club. Review a book. They serve a multitude of functions. This is very easy to see.
I read quite a few minimalism blogs in recent months but I did not have the feeling that they try to convince you to throw everything out and live in empty rooms. Also not Leo’s blog. I found it rather stimulating, being mindful what we want from our lives and which role “stuff” plays in it.
E.g. If you have a lot of kitchen equipment and dishes and you use them regularly for entertaining, great. However, if you hardly use it and it is clogging up your rooms and weighing you down, perhaps the time has come to part with it – if this is what you want and makes you feel good.
These “reduce your livelihood to 50 or 100 pieces” challenges I see as provocative experiments and only as doable under certain circumstances. They seem to be mainly done by freelancers or consultant types, who are traveling a lot and the hotel rooms are probably paid from their business/employer. So these blogs, where they are boasting that they have been able to get rid of their debt and even rack up 100K in savings in 2-3 years, only apply for a tiny group who have certain jobs and no family.
Besides, nowadays, you can load thousands of books and songs and movies and files onto laptops, phones, external drives or upload them into the cloud. So to boast that you have no bookshelves or no DVDs but only a laptop and an MP3-player is not that hard.
And I also agree with some other commentators, if you work in a setting where you have client contact or a certain dresscode is expected, you might have to spend more money on clothes than as if you work from home or in a non-dresscode environment. But again, I have also made the experience, that I only wear a small part of the clothes I purchased really regularly.
I think you are being over analytical, making a mountain out of a mole hill, splitting hairs, blah blah blah and yada yada yada!
I blog about minimalism and simple living, and I’ve found the community is almost always a bunch of anti-social eccentrics that exude an air of superiority.
Minimalism is a lifestyle that is personal and different for all who practice it. I have things. I have a Cadillac. It guzzles gas, has heated leather seats, and a Bose stereo. It also cost me $2000 – after some tricks I pulled. To me, this car is minimalist – and at the same time it’s completely over the top.
Maybe what I practice is anti-materialism? For instance, I have a job with lots of face to face contact. I’ve toyed around with the idea of a “life uniform” 3 identical sets of clothing that I rotate. The people I work with think this idea is ridiculous, I think it would free my mind from worrying about what to put on in the morning. Instead I pacify them by conforming to their illogical need for variety in my wardrobe, but at home, I own 1 pair of pants. Well technically a few but they just haven’t been thrown away yet. I am upgrading my life to a second pair of jeans soon.
I’m 27 years old, I’ve never had a car payment. My mortgage payment can be made from 1 income, and my house is decorated – if you can even call it that – a more accurate statement would be that my home contains several useful items that were obtained from garage sales and from people giving me things because they think I should have a table to eat at, which we never use I might add.
At the same time, my wife does not believe in the way I like to live. She wants lots of things, and she gets them – and we are okay with that. I think she wants lots of things, she would say that she wants necessary things. I think we disagree on what is necessary, but in the end, she chooses what she wishes for herself.
So I guess I am not a minimalist as far as Leo Babtua is concerned, however I consider myself to be one – and I would consider you to be one as well.
What we all need to understand is that Minimlism is not a religion. Does not have a bible or a book either. You can choose to live however you like. Minimalism is to find what you love and what makes you happy, then get rid of rest of the stuff. If a house full of stuff makes you happy, you need to follow your happiness. Please see my post about “what is Minimalism”in my blog.
Thank you
Paris
http://thegreenminimalist.blogspot.com/2012/09/minimalism-what-is-it.html
Minimalism is I believe an attack on our addiction of materialism and our belief that things make us happy even if were not living within our means. I think this is humans trying to mature as a species like a child learning to play with the toys they already have. Were coming to terms with our needs vs wants and realizing more is not necessarily better.
I really got into Zen Habits during its first two years. Blogs on reducing clutter, being frugal, productivity, etc. I even bought Zen to Done. I genuinely enjoyed his stuff. Now he has another site, more books, even hosts webinars, creates programs so his fans can work on personal development, etc. For a fee. The guy has to earn a living after all….minimalist as it may be. But I’ve lost interest in his stuff. I guess it seems more “commercial” now.
He’s influenced/inspired The Minimalists, Ryan and Josh. Their website and other work come across as more of what Leo was doing during his early days on Zen Habits. The caveat….as Penelope says in her blog…they’re straight guys with no wives and kids.
Do you really throw out your kids’ stuff as soon as bat an eye? How do they feel about this? I mean do they get inordinately anxious about having their stuff thrown out?
I rotate my kids stuff’ – keep 80 percent of their stuff in a room we never use. I throw out some stuff when I see that they haven’t used it in a long time and invite them to do so as well. And I don’t buy toys very often. And we have no TV! So my kids engage in a lot of make believe and use household items to build their own toys.
My five year old is a major hoarder and I don’t really know how it happened and how to discourage it.
We all have different ideas about how we want to live our lives. I think it is important not to criticize others for their choices. No one is stopping you from living your life like you want. It is important to respect others for their choices whether we agree or not. Look for the good that you can learn from others if it improves your life.
I don’t like stuff. I don’t buy things unless they are beautiful or I need them. I tend to be a little messy and I simply eliminated my opportunities. I find comfort in space.
I am not sure when ‘minimalism’ became a competitive lifestyle. Instead of racing to have more, some people seem to think that if they have less, they are somehow superior. If shopping is your thing, go for it. If you find comfort in TV, watch it.
What I like best about the life I have chosen is that it expresses me perfectly. In that regard, everyone should adopt the same lifestyle – the one that expresses you perfectly.
Interesting take on minimalism. Most people will need some stuff in life. Yes, the basic food, shelter and transport. Unless you live in the poorest regions, internet nowadays or rather communication is a must. Not internet, expect to spend a lot to communicate with friends and relatives around the world which in turns need you to make more money sort of circle.
Least you warned of being too simplistic in expectations of a minimalistic life
“Plus, I discredit all straight men who do not have a wife or kids and claim to be minimalists. They are not minimalists, they are just bachelors, programmed over thousands of years to use sex to accumulate possessions rather than shopping.”
Quite; as I have no doubt that you have met all straight men who’re single and claim to be minimalists as opposed to just making lazy, sexist generalisations which would be totally unacceptable if made should the gender tables be turned.
Anyway. As you were.
Minimalism isn’t about how much or how little you own. It’s a feeling of comfort with your life free from want.
Hi Penelope,
I found your blog by accident (the power of a catchy title) but although I appreciate honesty I found your tone quite hostile. On the other hand I find the tone of Leo’s blog quite loving. This is why I will choose to read Leo’s blog in the future and not yours.
You claimed
“A lot of what we buy is stuff to facilitate connections. Like gifts, wine glasses, replacing a doorbell.”
It sounds to me like you buy gifts to bolster ego, and therein lies the difference.
That wasn’t very loving but I’m sure you understand why.
You make far too many specific criticisms and advice, it may be your blog is aimed at the middle aged home owner with a family, but the way you write it, it’s like everyone must have kids, and must do things such a way.
Also, so what if the minimalist is more an ideal than an actual realisation, people will benefit from trying, it’s not a cult religion.
At first I tought I could actually learn something about minimalism with this article, but when I read the ” A job that does not require a lot of face-to-face contact” you lost all my respect. So, if I love being a doctor, or a lawyer or a salesman I’m banished for good of the minimalism?! Oh, please.
Well… I live in a capital of big European country and my kids do not ask me to buy stuff all the time. One is homeschooIed, one will attend waldorf school this year. They only few toys but great imagination. I have one pair of jeans and few shirts. I work face to face with people. So you know.. it is possible to live in somehow minimalistic way in big city :-)
San Francisco is an excellent city to continue a “minimalist” (if one chooses to even use the label) lifestyle… Why? So much within walking distance to explore and do and be. Amazing public transportation. Diversity in people. Minimalism is about having only that which you need and love (instead of a bunch of junk living in your closet that you just hold on to for… what again?). It’s not about boredom, it’s about freedom. Leo continues this lifestyle out of joy and out of ease. I’ve also found him a joy to be around… humility and joyful. Perhaps there is something to this…
That’s exactly what I was thinking, jill. Well said.
If you have already read the books and you don’t plan on reading them again, why are you holding on to them? Minimalism dictates that you rid yourself of what does not add value to your life. Those books would be of more value to someone who hasn’t read them yet. Sell them or give them away.
Compulsive consumption is a form of addiction. The excessive hostility expressed against Leo is somewhat akin to what you would expect if you told an addict to let go of the crack pipe.
People feel threatened when you tell them that their whole life paradigm is flawed. That is why the biggest conflicts are usually about politics and religion.
The recent Great Recession should have been a wake-up call for us that excessive consumption and materialism is dangerous.
I guess not.
I like Zen Habits and Leo, but, as with my favorite musicians, I like his early stuff best. He changed my way of thinking about day to day life and for that I’ll always be grateful. I do a quick check now and then to see if there’s anything there that I can use, but mostly I skim it and move onto to some other simplicity blog, looking for that first rush. Maybe I just get off on the nice white screen, clean fonts and interesting photography and-from time to time-a full scale epiphany.
But sooner or later, you have to take the wise word of the guru and come back down the mountain and apply it to yourself. Ultimately, I don’t want to do it like Leo because I’m not Leo. Leo was just the guy on the mountain.
This has to be one of my favorite posts of yours. Not only for the amazing pictures Melissa took of your ‘bookshelves’… but for the skeptical arguments around Leo Babauta. Loved it.
“This has to be one of my favorite posts of yours. Not only for the amazing pictures Melissa took of your ‘bookshelves’… but for the skeptical arguments around Leo Babauta. Loved it.”
Geeesh. Why all the hate and criticism directed at Leo Babuta? People, he writes a blog about simplicity . . . he’s not advocating the waterboarding of kittens. If you don’t like bis blog, I’ve got the perfect solution for you: Don’t visit it! Bam. I just saved you the time you are wasting critiquing him for, again, writing about … simplicity. On second thought, for your own mental health, you may want to ponder what it is about you that reacts so negatively to such a simple and nonthreatening message…hmmm. Give that one some thought.
I am not too keen on Leo’s personal lifestyle habits. I work full time and find Leo’s habits slightly too constraining and constricting and in some ways drains the beauty of spontaneity. I do like some aspects of his book focus in ways that it did teach me to rid of my distractions. However, it is not a flexible book. I work in a busy office with tight deadlines where it is impossible to avoid meetings or turn off my email or ‘arrange with my manager to change my work’ or whatever Leo was getting at. There are some aspects of minimalism one can take especially in relation to personal distractions. But working in the city as somebody who is not self employed, it is hard to find space and comfort especially with bosses and managers who do not understand this lifestyle. It’s unfortunately not a realistic way of living and in fact too pure. Sometimes we need stress and deadlines to get the work done on time.
I think that you are taking him too literally. He is not saying that you have to do everything perfectly and exactly as he says. He is giving you tools that you can pick and choose to use as they fit you and your life. I have found his blog very useful but I don’t follow it like an instruction book. I use it as a guide that I can take knowledge from as it appeals to me. It works really well that way.
Wow, I think you miss the point of Leo’s blog. I don’t read his blog to decorate, or undecorate as it were, my home. I read his blog to undecorate my mind. He has so many useful things in there about calming your thoughts, letting go of emotional baggage, dealing with distractions, etc.
I don’t care about physical minimalism at all. I care more about clearing the clutter in my mind and he is one of the resources I use the most to do this. He helps me to get back on track when I’ve caught that pesky procrastination bug and he helped me schedule meditation time in the morning which is something I have always wanted to do but never took the time to do it. His blog post on 2 minutes that will change your life really did change my life. I am now meditating every morning.
I would say beware of your obsession with the physical minimalism, Penelope because it sounds like it might be cluttering your mind a little bit.
Here’s a quick summary of this article:
Penelope: “Me me me me me me me me, my story, I do this, we do this, me me me me me, I lived in New York, me me me me me, now I live on a farm. . . me me me me . . . Leo is dumb, his take on minimalism is dumb . . . me me me me me . . . find your minimalist sweet spot, except Leo’s, his is dumb”
This is my comment above that I am responding to, because I can’t delete it. Upon further thinking, I take it all back. I enjoyed the blog. My initial reaction was incorrect. I didn’t see the beauty of it until it settled it, didn’t understand it without further reflection. You make a lot of good points. Well done.
A minimalist wouldn’t need to move from Guam to SanFran. You are so right. HA. Okay enough of looking through old posts. Have a great day everyone!!!!
“I told Leo I thought it was BS that he is Mr. Minimalism and he moved to San Francisco.” You fail to see the point that Leo can be minimalist but still try to provide his kids with the opportunity to see both sides of the lifestyle coin. What is amusing is after you toot your own horn, you then say “So I’m not saying Leo’s move from Guam to San Francisco is bad.” Wait. Didn’t you just say his move was BS earlier? Last time I checked BS wasn’t a good thing.