My miscarriage — on CNN, ABC and AOL
I don’t usually post clips of myself when I go on TV. But I’m posting this one, where I talk about trying to get an abortion in Wisconsin and end up with a miscarriage at work instead. It was a difficult interview, which is why I like it. And, remarkably, I have good hair without trying, which is another reason I like watching the clip.
For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about. Here’s my twitter that caused uproar. And here’s my post about it. To give you an idea of the recent coverage, here’s the link that is, right now, on the front page of AOL, and here’s a link to an article by Lara Salahi at ABC News — I really like that one.
If you are new to my blog, and you’ve gotten this far, maybe you’ll like staying here for a while. Here’s a good page to begin on: About this blog.
I know I said that that this week is Asperger’s at work week on my blog. Maybe me talking about my miscarriage to newscasters is part of this series. I’m not sure. But I’ve been learning a lot about women from the comments about the miscarriage twitter — on my blog and on other sites. So I’m sure that other people are learning a lot about the lives of women — at work and at home. And that has to be good.
You are having sex with men that will not marry you and do not want to have a child with you. Take a good long look in the mirror and see if you can find any love for yourself at all. You allow others to use you and then in turn you commit the ultimate child abuse. You are doing more for the Pro-Life cause then you’ll ever know. Start asking advice and quit giving it. (P.S. Slavery was also legal at one time.)
“It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so you may live as you wish.” – Mother Teresa
This interview was an incredibly eye-opening lesson for men and women on blending work and personal life, and not having to apologise simply for being a woman.
I feel relief and have a little more faith in humankind to see some incredibly positive and encouraging comments in amongst all the usual to-be-expected vitriol too.
What strikes me is that it’s not considered as shocking when you blog about almost dying in a horribly violent way, starving yourself or being abused… but one of the most common and everyday female experiences has a CNN presenter flapping about like a goldfish :D (You made him look SO dumb, I thought that was hilarious :) ) More power to your elbow, PT.
I can’t stand listening to Rick Sanchez.
Penelope, do you ever halt comments on a thread? This one seems to have run its course. Seriously.
I have to say that I’m sorry about your unintended pregnancy and whether you intended to have an abortion or were so unfortunate to have a miscarriage is certainly your own business. If the end result is what you hoped for, then that is good for you.
My only complaint about any of this is that it somehow became my business (which it really isn’t) due to social networking or the result of social networking. But here I am – face to face with your life and I don’t even know you. So what I really wish is that you’d chosen to share the details of your miscarriage personally with true friends who cared greatly for you, that you hadn’t created this media storm about it…and that somehow you would find peace in your own life with all that has occurred these past few weeks.
I have many people in my life that need my time and attention and I’m sorry for them that I’ve somehow become distracted by your issues. But none-the-less, I don’t think you couldn’t benefit by my sending you healing white light and a hope that – in the future – you are able to show greater restraint in sharing the most intimate details of your life with the entire world.
You gave me a goal for tomorrow!!!! I’m starting a petition to get you fired or AT least get you de-promoted.
PRO-LIFER – grow up and get a life of your own – I assume Penelope already has hers, as do the rest of us. You need to find a better goal for yourself.
At least you were allowed to “get a life”
I am just wondering if you would act so cavalier about the death of one of your children. I am assuming yes, because essentially that is what a miscarriage is, the death of a child. I am disgusted over that lack of significance that you place on human life and hope that your children have some well adjusted adults in their lives so that that don’t grow up to be as lacking in compassion as you are. I am further appalled that you would be so insensitive about the topic of abortion and miscarriage. Infertility seems to be on the rise, and some women that want desperately to be a mother never have that opportunity. I don’t know what has happened in your life for you to be so cold and insensitive, but I hope that it is not some sort of genetic malfunction that will carry over to your children because God knows that we don’t need anymore people like you in the world.
So, “Stacy”, you think honesty is cold and insensitive. She did not tweet about your miscarriage or abortion. Frankly, true compassion means full honesty and no denial and that is a tough pill for people like you to swallow. She wasn’t insensitive but blunt. Our country is full of idiots because nothing is safe to discuss honestly and bluntly. You must love Palin too even though she is a liar and takes that poor baby with Down’s Syndrome to big loud events and anyone with education knows that such babies like quiet! What is your excuse? Perhaps people like you should check yourself before you spew venom at others.
Wow! Thanks, Pen. Most men have no idea what a miscarriage involves; thanks for educating.
And yes, abortion is still a right in this country, whether or not people want to admit it.
Good job in asking the interviewer to clarify his question, and then keeping the focus on the facts.
Roaches thrive in the dark, but run from the light.
There is nothing remarkable about this woman, she is got issues and has no morals. Modern woman??? What is so modern about talking about DEATH soo lightly?? I didn’t realize that being a modern woman meant being TRASH. A Modern woman is still feminine, physically and emotionally strong, confident, humble…. Being a Modern woman does not mean being callus and ignorant. So what if you believe in Abortion, I could give a flying f…k! Keep that shit to yourself and stop acting like it’s a casual thing. You act like it to make yourself feel better. Teaching young people to not give a shit about serious decisions such as abortion is f’d up!. Regardless of what anyones beliefs are, this twat doesn’t deserve any exposure… Im not raising my daughter to be a selfless, self centered bitch, im raising her to strong all the way around and understand morality. Sooo sick of extreme people. Be extreme in training, sports, in whatever you want to accomplish in life.. but having the attitude, hey shit happens is life towards a subject that should not be taken lightly is simply ignorance. I hope she gets the boot. She needs to have her ass kicked, put her in the ring with Cyborg! hah!
I’m coming late to the comment thread, but I just wanted to throw another one onto the stack of supportive responses, particularly in the face of the vicious & vitriolic comments that a few people seem to post over and over again.
The interviewer’s utter ignorance of miscarriage (both its prevalence and what’s involved) proved your point more strongly than anything else — there are so many women’s issues that would be treated differently by voters, legislators, co-workers, friends, etc. if only a little more light were shed on them… kudos to you for trying to do that in spite of the cost (see all of the nasty comments above, and of course whatever other blowback you get…).
Rob Whelan – I think you’re seriously deluding yourself when you say “a few people” who seem to post over and over. I think you need to take a look at why you need to say that…and then be honest that this “woman” has crossed a line that in my opinion, has changed the way that people will (good OR bad) look at her for the rest of her life. I know that you all think she’s so cavalier. In secret, I bet she wishes she had never even gone where she went. But she did. And there’s LOTS of people who don’t like it. LOTS. :)
Rob Whelan – I think you’re seriously deluding yourself when you say a “few people”. I think you need to take a look at why you’re saying that…and then come to the conclusion that this “woman” has crossed a line that will (for good OR bad) change the way people feel about her for the rest of her life.
I know that many of you think she’s so cavalier. Secretly, I bet she wishes she hadn’t even gone where she went. But she did. And there’s LOTS of people who don’t like it. LOTS. :)
Penelope,
I’m so glad I left work early. Saw you with Rick Sanchez. He was definetly trying to trip you up and he kept interupting you in mid-sentence. Great job. The delay seemed frustrating.
Keep it going.
RAS
Penelope – I believe you are doing a great thing by bringing these topics out in the air to be discussed. Thank you. I think there are many ways to interpret the uproar that’s resulted, but it’s hard to believe it’s not related to many people’s discomfort in these things being discussed out loud.
Wow some people are really uncomfortable with woman’s reproductive rights! Bravo Penelope for reminding the world that women and not the state should decide what they do with their bodies.
Please don’t assume your view speaks for all women. There is also a large group of women that believe abortion is murder and also believes abortion has further degraded women and their rights. I am not in the least bit uncomfortable in talking about or hearing talk about reproduction, abortion or miscarriage. However, don’t assume a woman cannot be for the rights of women and still believe abortion is murder. For those who look at this as an issue of women vs. men, winning vs. losing (Penelope vs.Rick)you are completely missing the point. Some of those most outspoken regarding abortion “rights” have not dealt with the shame associated with their own abortions and want to rationalize their “choice”.
Penelope,
I agree with your comments on an earlier post “The female experience is part of work. What we talk about when we talk about work defines how we integrate work into our lives.” And I don’t think that just applies to females, but to people in general. I have no problem with being open and appreciate it in others (on most topics at least).
I think you handled yourself well on the interview and I appreciated your comments. The only thing that struck me differently from your part of the interview was what to me came across as an inability to understand the negative reaction your comment evoked in some (or perhaps you were just acting that way to make a point and not take the interviewer’s bait?).
I think being surprised or confused (if indeed you were) over the reaction you received for tweeting something many consider very personal, private, and controversial (“controversial” refers to the abortion part, not the miscarriage) seems a bit naive. Although I don’t at all share the feelings of schock, disgust, anger, discomfort, etc. that your tweet brought out in some, I definitely see the potential for others to feel that way. While the degree of interest in your comment (on tv, etc) is something I would necessarily have predicted, the type of response you got (both supportive and critical) is exactly what I’d have expected.
Though my view on this may not be popular (not sure as there’s no way I could reall through all these comments), I do appreciate your openness in general and agree that talking openly about things that often are hush-hush in society can be valuable. Keep at it!
I guess part of what I was trying to get across (but maybe didn’t succeed at conveying) in my previous comment is that I do understand and respect (not just expect to encounter, as my last post conveyed) opinions on this topic that differ from mine. I think as long as people express their views in a respectful manner there’s room for all types of viewpoints. I think discussing differing views is productive but that ad hominem and other fallacy-based attacks are not.
I congradulate marsha gutierrez for her comment (not so much for the cursing), and about cyborg. Her MMA fight was pretty bad ass.
Would I or have I ever adopted a child or a child with special needs? No.
But I have always wanted to,it feels like something I should do before I get to old.
I’m 19, married (I was married before I ever got pregnant FYI), have a 20 month old daughter, and I’m due October 22nd. So I’m in no position to adopt right now.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I was told that I should abort, because I have an underdeveloped uterus, and I could’ve wound up crushing her.
But I switched to a prolife doctor, and had a c-section 2 weeks before my due date.
Honestly, I equivalate an abortion, of an unwanted pregnancy to this:
“What if you’re mom didn’t want you or couldn’t afford you, took you into the yard, and shot/beat/stabbed you to death?”
What’s the difference between that and abortion/ or a happy miscarriage?
What’s the difference in taking a person to court for killing a pregnant woman and charging them with double homicide, but a woman kills an unwanted baby by abortion/reluctant miscarriage and it’s “legal”?
NOTHING!!!!! There is NO difference!!!!
Well, “Posted by Donna” shows up 8 times on this page. “Posted by Dan” gets 12 hits. “John” posts a lot as well, though there’s clearly more than one John.
What’s particularly odd to me is the series of posts by posters with different names who nevertheless have exactly the same writing style all “agreeing absolutely” with each other. Penelope should show IP addresses after comments… I have a suspicion that’d flush out a sock puppets or two.
Which isn’t to say that there *aren’t* plenty of people who are “outraged” that anyone could talk so openly of these kinds of “shameful” issues — it’s sad, but there’s no shortage of them — that’s why I mentioned the costs of this kind of open speech in my first comment. And fortunately, these views are largely fueled by ignorance, which is why it’s so important to talk about these issues… and we come full circle.
Finally, I notice none of you are using your real names. Don’t you stand behind your comments? Or are you perfectly aware you’re violating your own moral rules, but you can’t resist the urge to be nasty when you’re anonymous?
You looked and sounded like a self-promoting ass. Like several others, you hide behind promoting the health and welfare of women for your own personal gain. You are too smart to do that…you didn’t help women you knocked us down. Thanks.
It sickens me, how these people support you. Not only are YOU disgusting, but their twice as disgusting for supporting you!!!
You are a murderer plain and simple. It’s like you’re what these people would define as a serial killer (you are you had multiple abortions, which makes you a serial killer). And these degraded and diluted people are giving you admiration and appraisal.
It’s no different than them writing love letters to Charles Manson or Ted Bundy.
I’m deeming you as ‘Killer Trunk’ the ‘Serial Killer.’
Whether you truly have Aspergers or not, that is not an excuse , you knew you were killing an innocent life everytime you got an abortion, you knew that an innocent life died when you miscarried.
Instead of mourning the loss of that life and respecting it. You degraded that would be child, and practically spat in it’s face.
You are a Man. You absolutely are.
Alright then, my name is Destiny Gonzalez. I have a prolife myspace page myspace.com/children_are_love
Destiny, thanks for using your name, though of course the most offensive comments are still from anonymous cowards.
I’d suggest to you to read more about what people who are pro-choice actually believe, and why, if you want to convince any of them to change their minds. Some pro-choice people are personally anti-abortion (in that they would keep even an unplanned pregnancy… but they don’t believe the government should force all women to do so; do you understand why?). The line any chooses as the “beginning of human life” is also not cut & dry — in reality, human life is a process with fuzzy boundaries.
If you don’t know the metaphor of the “attached violinist”, go find it; if you don’t know any statistics about the *reasons* that late-term abortions happen, find out; this is the actual debate. You don’t have to agree, but you should at least comprehend. Shouting “baby-killer” doesn’t get you anywhere beyond looking like just another religious zealot.
[and I’m done here… can’t imagine i’m accomplishing much anyway]
I personally will not use my real name because I have dealt with men like you proclaiming to care about women and their rights but you operate with smoke and screens. How much money have you made off or contributed towards abortions? You seem to think you are so much brighter than everyone posting here. You assume no one has researched your side of the issue, but you’re “done here” because you know deep down you (and Penelope) are wrong and will not be able to change the minds of people who have thought the issues ALL THE WAY THROUGH. Women, please support each other in life-affirming decisions and don’t find more ways to become destructive to self and others. Open your eyes to how we are being deceived. Children are the best gifts in this world–Aspergers and otherwise–Penelope what if there would ever be a test available to see if people were pregnant with a child with Aspergers and it became law to abort these fetuses? Is your life worth less than mine? Are the children you aborted worth less than the ones you gave birth to? Wolves prey on the young. Wolves prey on the weak and the disabled. Wolves do not have free will–we do.
This blog is like watching a train wreck about to happen. Truly pathetic, but you have to watch, never the less.
“Well, if you feel like killing your baby, and “bravo for making the easiest and most selfish choice in honor of women.” If any of you pro abortionist show up at my door, I will call the police in fear of my four month old infant daughter’s life! My God, you people are cruel.
You seriously think you look good. OMG. Look at yourself in the mirror honey. You look like crap! I am a woman and I can tell you, If I looked like you did I would have some serious surgery. You are pathetic for saying this. Your so called “good looks” aren’t getting you anywhere. Your child has gone and now you have no remorse. Keep spreading your skanky legs. You are getting nowhere. One day your “looks” will be expired sweetie and you will still be a bi**h. Get over yourself and get a makeover ugly whore. I hate you CNN bitches all you do is whine and don’t want responsibility. Fuck you skank
Dan – there is clearly enough cruelty to go around – and btw in response to you from a few days ago – you need to turn up your sarcasm meter.
I think the truly sad thing here – is that there are people who actually believe that you are successful and should take your CAREER advice – I get that you’re out there and you want to post personal details – alrighty, it’s a free country, knock yourself out. But you really should post a disclaimer that one is in danger of destroying any hope they have for a real career if they take your advice.
This is my first visit to your blog.
I’m sorry for you.
Sorry that you had to deal with the apparent disregard for women’s rights in Wisconsin.
I know that I would not have put out this information about myself like you did. It would be my choice to not tweet or blog about a miscarriage. But that is the point, or one of them anyway, choice?
I look forward to returning here frequently and having my brain exercised by thoughtful and challenging commentary – I wish I knew about you a long time ago.
BRAVO, Penelope!
I was flabbergasted by both the “shock & outrage” to your Twitter, & also by the CNN interview I saw, where the male interviewer just couldn’t get over that you spoke publically about “things like…miscarriages, abortion, periods, etc.” Your answer was aboslutely perfect! 75% of women have miscarriages, pregnancies, 100% have periods, etc. etc. – yet NO public media, institution, system, etc. – even considers women’s experience, let alone understands it. You are fabulous & I applaud you!!
Penelope, I have no idea if you’re doing this for publicity or not. But I have to say that you said some really wonderful things in that CNN interview. It’s ridiculous how uncomfortable women are made to feel about our bodies, and you’re right–why should we be afraid to talk about abortions and miscarriages? People need to get over their own instinctive reactions to these things.
Also, Rick Sanchez came off as a real ass. He makes me glad I don’t have a TV. Maybe you were flattered by the “young lady” comment? But you’re probably too young for that, and anyway it’s not appropriate for a woman of any age. He’s an idiot.
You are a disgusting person. It’s gonna be hot when you go there you know?
Its going to be hot where – the Bahamas?
Christian fairy tales of heaven and hell really make me laugh.
It’s not only dumb guys like him that misunderstand miscarriages. I’m a 23 year old woman and didn’t know that a miscarriage lasted weeks. I thought it was a traumatic experience, similar to birth, just like the newscaster did. If women’s health was discussed more openly, such misconceptions wouldn’t exist. It’s disappointing to realize that there are still parts of my life I’m expected to hide, decades after feminism.
“I WAS GANG-RAPED ON THE SUBWAY!!”
–Just a suggestion for your next column/tweet.
It’s excellent that you’ve put your neck out to talk about these things. I think it’s horrible that women all over the world, especially a place like the USA (which constantly claims things like “land of the free”), have their womanhood locked up in a cloister of shame, and are unable to express their views or even learn from other women in many cases. By expressing yourself publicly you’ve opened the floodgates for understanding – similar events have taken place in the past with other subjects which were once considered “impolite” or “amoral” to even talk about.
I understand why you did not answer the question regarding whether you would give advice to talk about these things to your clients – for one, it’s not productive to their career, but also, it takes a strong person to speak out in this regard.
I think anyone who says that this is simply a PR stunt is secretly afraid of a free spoken and enlightened society, and will look for the first thing they can think of to undermine your views – usually jumping on the bandwagon and announcing loudly what others have said in a negative context. Most of the criticism I’ve seen in response to this has been either non-productive bickering or some kind of attention seeking in an attempt to put out the propaganda of a political agenda that flies in the face of the truth.
selfish….just plain selfish. your blog and your interview reek of self. disgusting.
I think its brave and incredibly forthright of you to admit this in public. And you’re right, talking about it is the best way to ensure that this ‘women’s issue’ isn’t sidelined anymore.
Bravo. I was incredibly impressed how cool you stayed in the face of an arrogant, chauvinistic and ignorant interviewer, who showed absolutely no journalistic objectivity.
I whole-heartedly agree with you that women should be able to talk about miscarriages, but especially that women should be talking about their right to safe, affordable (preferably free) abortions in their own region. Bravo again!
Women CAN talk about miscarriages. The issue is more a matter of the right time and place.
Why should I be paying for your free abortions with my tax money? If you think you are mature enough to make decisions about sex, then surely you are mature enough to pay for the consequences of those decisions. If you can’t afford an abortion, keep your legs closed. You’d think feminism had come far enough that women would want to be FULLY RESPONSIBLE for the consequences of their actions. No?
Another example of why men are less and less interested in American women. Aside from brutal and unfair divorce laws I mean. The avg American women is a dangerous narcissist, completely disconnected from consequence and responsibility. Looking for big-daddy government to clean up their messes. A shocking insult to real women everywhere.
Carry on fighting the good fight Penelope.
I actually applauded when I heard that interview!
And all you (mostly male it would seem) fundamentalist bat-shit crazy christians and hyperactive pro-life breeders: go spout your nonsense somewhere else. Some people, including myself and many others, are way beyond tired of your god clap trap to care anymore.
Try to help women before they get pregnant for a change. Maybe health care reform would be a start? Oh no, but that actually costs money and you don’t want to pay for that! How hypocritical….
Whew, Astra are you ever an angry person. As a women, I realize the oppression of women by men firsthand but whether you want to believe it or not, some women do see the reality behind abortion (that it is murder) and see the correlation between abortion and the continuing oppression of women–to say nothing of the issue of not being willing or able to manage one’s sex life (usually a combination of chemical abuse and mental health disorders some of it due to being abused and oppressed–see the vicious cycle?). Violence begets violence and is never the answer and abortion is a violent act no matter how you cut it (pun intended). FYI – I am against capital punishment and war if you want to make more assumptions about we “hyperactive pro-life breeders”. What you see as nonsense that should be spouted off elsewhere (where would you suggest Oh Queen Astra?) is supported as common sense by a large segment of both the male and female populations. Don’t project onto others the obvious anger and shame you feel about your own abortion(s). Some of us can actually see your tirade for what it truly is. I feel no shame in discussing my periods, my miscarriage, my pregnancies or the fact that I have been raped. Abortion is talked about and admitted to much less due to shame. There is a reason for this. However, eventually if you rationalize long enough you no longer will feel any guilt but are left with unresolved anger. You suggest helping women before they get pregnant. Do you have any suggestions about helping a women over 40 who continues to get pregnant and abort? Is Penelope a poor, young, destitute, alcoholic woman who doesn’t realize how she keeps getting pregnant? Were her last pregnancies a result of rape or incest? Quit blaming religions and politics for the obvious lack of personal responsibility in some people’s lives. Maybe we could find a class on self-control for Penelope and one on anger management for you. If Penelope gets pregnant again, maybe we could help her find an adoption agency where there are many “bat-shit crazy christians” waiting to adopt and raise children with self-control — yes, even special needs children like those with Aspergers. I’ve seen on these blogs the stats that 1 out of every 3 women have an abortion in their lifetime. That’s like saying 1 in 3 men commit rape because 1 in 3 women are raped in their lifetime. A way smaller percentage of women are aborting but these women are doing it way more often–Example: Penelope
“Of all acts of man, repentance is the most divine. The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none.” Thomas Carlyle
http://www.priestsforlife.org/articles/canibeforgiven.html
What are you going on about, seriously? My “tirade” was much, much shorter than yours :)…. My “unresolved anger and shame” of an abortion?? Did I have one? You have no clue Rita. I am angry, yes, but more about the way people such as yourself try and back up your arguments with, tada!, yet more catholic mumbo-jumbo. You don’t agree with abortion b/c you consider it murder, fine. But try and frame your arguments without religious zealotry and I’d be more apt to listen.
You clearly dislike Penelope and her blog, why are you here?
Birth control fails, and she has no obligation to carry a pregnancy to hand it over for adoption. Zero. Stop trying to decipher her (or my) state of mind. Its insulting and frankly pointless.
Did you have one? Or more? Sometimes the truth hurts but the truth will also set you free. Seriously. . .
I can’t speak for her kids but I have Aspergers, I’m not “special needs” I’ve been taking care of my family (All NT’s) since I was 10 years old. I’m not personally pro abortion. If you aren’t, don’t get one. I don’t mean to condescend (even to make you tast your own medicine) but one of the strangest things I see about NT’s is hatred of those who refuse to lie. She didn’t insult anyone, just told the truth. Why does that offend your christian values so much.
I thought how Penelope conducted herself on CNN was incredible. I think that what was written on twitter was not inappropriate. If Penelope were a man making a statement about something personal no one would criticize him. The CNN interviewer had no tact and it was totally disrespectful to open up by saying “young lady.”
I’m glad you did this. Miscarriages have a lot of stigma and silence around them, as do so many women’s health issues. The folks who are attacking you are ones who perpetuate the silence for their own advantage or personal comfort. Just because miscarriage is an uncomfortable topic doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed: it means it SHOULD be discussed. Don’t let the asshats silence you.
Brava, Rita! Very good! I’m so sick of being automatically mischaracterized as either a Christian (I’m an atheist), or a man (if I’m using my net handle) just because I have the ability to see abortion for what it really is-the taking of another human life.
Even people who perform abortions know subconciously that it is wrong. This is an excerpt of an abortionist’s blog:
“When I was a little over 18 weeks pregnant with my now pre-school child, I did a second trimester abortion for a patient who was also a little over 18 weeks pregnant. As I reviewed her chart I realised that I was more interested than usual in seeing the fetal parts when I was done, since they would so closely resemble those of my own fetus. I went about doing the procedure as usual, removed the laminaria I had placed earlier and confirmed I had adequate dilation. I used electrical suction to remove the amniotic fluid, picked up my forceps and began to remove the fetus in parts, as I always did. I felt lucky that this one was already in the breech position – it would make grasping small parts (legs and arms) a little easier. With my first pass of the forceps, I grasped an extremity and began to pull it down. I could see a small foot hanging from the teeth of my forceps. With a quick tug, I separated the leg. Precisely at that moment, I felt a kick – a fluttery "thump, thump" in my own uterus. It was one of the first times I felt fetal movement. There was a leg and foot in my forceps, and a "thump, thump" in my abdomen. Instantly, tears were streaming from my eyes – without me – meaning my conscious brain – even being aware of what was going on. I felt as if my response had come entirely from my body, bypassing my usual cognitive processing completely. A message seemed to travel from my hand and my uterus to my tear ducts. It was an overwhelming feeling – a brutally visceral response – heartfelt and unmediated by my training or my feminist pro-choice politics. It was one of the more raw moments in my life. Doing second trimester abortions did not get easier after my pregnancy; in fact, dealing with little infant parts of my born baby only made dealing with dismembered fetal parts sadder.”
Rick Sanchez is an ass.
You can wrap this up in as much post hoc pro-choice cotton as you like but what you’ve done is trivialize women. THis is all after the fact rationalize for a moment when you exposed your narcissism and now you seek to disguise it as something else. Most people not wrapped up in themselves recognize the dignity of life — whether pro-choice or not. You do not. But I do hope for you that your passing will mean something more to those close to you than could be captured in a tweet.
As someone who experienced a miscarriage, having gotten pregnant 4 months after the birth of my second child, I am at a loss to understand what this woman was feeling. Even though my pregnancy was not planned and though terrified at the prospect of 3 children under the age of 4, I still felt such a loss – even after 30+ years I feel the pangs of what might have been…
Amazing how all these judgemental critics spend their time reading your blog. Didn’t know you could get internet access from caves nowadays!
If you could comprehend anything beyond the sludge of your own thoughts, you would see that none of her other posts have nearly the same hits as this adolescent attempt at gaining attention. (I knew so many drama queens in highschool who were so good at grabbing long confused stares from others — didn’t make them smart, or even worthy of the attention).
Also, I didn’t know that just because you can plug in a computer, and you have some typing skills, that that somehow automaticaly means you have some value and substance to offer the world. I would say in your case, that this is obviously not the case.
And dear Vincer, if for one mili-second you could actually try to undrstand something other than the sound of your own voice, you would read some comments here from people who are so far from being cave dwellers. There are a couple dozen forward thinkers (progressives, if you will) who have stated their absolute horror at this sad person’s publicity stunt. There are some “judgements” in this feed that are so true to their mark. And if you think you can post a tweeted thought from your tweeted brain that even comes close to dismissing them, … well then you and MISS TRUNK are two mentally sterile peas in a pod.
Blessed Be to the lot of you
You need to understand that a main point of the women’s movement was to allow choices and privacy. (what a concept!) I had a miscarriage eleven years ago and still mourn the loss of my baby.
If you want to talk about terminating a pregnancy and the lack of access in Wisconsin then do that in a manner that does not offend so many people with a lack of empathy for their pain and loss.
Glad that the right to choose extends equally to the heartless and clueless. God bless America.
I am curious how you can so easily equate having a miscarriage to having an abortion, as though they go hand in hand.
A miscarriage is a tragic event, which is naturally occurring. All of the women that I have spoken to about miscarriages that they have had note that it is an emotionally scarring event which lead them to periods of depression.
An abortion on the other hand is your active choice to terminate a life. It is an elective surgery. There is nothing natural about an abortion.
Your post made me sick, simply because you are apparently not able to distinguish the difference between the two and somehow thought that the issue was so low key as to post it as though you were trying to choose the bread on your sandwich that day. “Got up, had coffee, had a miscarriage (thank God!, abortions are so inconvenient), not sure if I want rye or pumpernickel.
I’m not objecting to your rights as an American Citizen, but your callousness towards the life that just ended in your body. People are more emotionally distraught and grieved by the loss of the family dog, than you were for your potential child.
I hope you don’t treat your other children with such disregard and callousness.
Wow. This lady is about as sensible as Jon Gosselin. Is she really giving advice to others? I’m guessing that her advice comes from a guerilla-tactic, burn-your-bridges perspective. And balancing work and personal life? I guess her view of balancing simply means having no boundaries between the two. What employer would want their employee tweeting during a board meeting? This is ridiculous.
Wow. This is truly incredible. Penelope–will you marry me? I always wanted a dignified wife who stands up for what she believes in–one who has the reserve and the mental fortitude to tough it out when times are difficult. You have proven your worth many times over!! Your wisdom is boundless. Your tweets are timeless. I can’t wait to introduce you to my parents and say, “Mom, Dad: this is my fiance. Yes, that’s right, the one who wants to ease access to abortions so that all women can have them. Yes, the one who told the world about her miscarriage in less than 90 characters. Yes, the career-obsessed attention-hungry dignity vampire who is sucking the life out of me.”
On second thought, you suck. Get a life, nerd.
ugh. unbelievable.
Any woman who has sex can get pregnant. Not every woman can handle a pregnancy or a child at every point in her life, for reasons that include lack of access to health care, lack of support in her relationship, unemployment, and so on. And it is not realistic to expect that people will have sex only when procreation is possible or desirable.
If the posters on this boar really want to reduce the number of abortions, please focus on health care, focus on support for working mothers, focus on ANYTHING but yelling at women who want to have sex without having a baby. The violence and anger I see in abortion protesters is really, really scary. The rage thrown at Penelope is unreasonable, and it will not persuade anyone.
You don’t mention selfism as the most popular reason women in our country abort (and the fact that they are often pressured by selfish men). ME, ME, ME Generation. Why is it not realistic to expect people to have sex only in committed relationships? People do have the ability to say no (exceptions of course) but a larger and larger segment are doing what they want, with who they want, when they want without using any self-control or thought process. We are not animals operating on instinct and will not die from lack of frequent sex (this needs to be taught and shown by example from an early age). We all need to set the bar higher for ourselves and each other–especially our young people (anyone watch Dr. Phil today about kids having sex on the dance floor during school dances?)
If you look there are positive options and many good people willing to help if become pregnant and are feeling alone. You will find them if you look for them but we also have to avail ourselves to others, not just offer to take them to the abortion clinic. My former “product of conception” now lives with and helps take care of the man who put money on the table twenty years ago telling me to “get rid of it.”
Not that long ago, people were stating “It’s not realistic to expect everyone to give up their slaves” and “I don’t personally believe in slave ownership but I don’t think I have a right to judge others that own them.”–Yes people were saying exactly these words. Substitute the word abortion for slave and you have the same way of thinking. When we know better, we do better.
I do judge others for aborting, not because I think I’m better because I’m not, but because I believe life begins at conception and am therefore obligated to speak for those who cannot–just as I would expect you to defend me if I was not able to speak out for myself. I also truly believe that abortion further oppresses women and is deceiving so many of us into believing that it enpowers us — it doesn’t . . .
Many pro-lifers already focus on supporting women in all ways. This shouldn’t cloud the fact that in addition to addressing these issues, we are also obligated to speak out against murder. We as women need to support one another and not advocate for quick fixes like abortion. I do agree that “yelling” at women is not the answer and women are their own worst enemies. However this nastiness goes both ways not just toward abortion advocates.
One of the best books I have read recently that talks about Theology and the Body is entitled “Good News About Sex and Marriage”. It is written by a Catholic man so if you are closed minded about what Catholics or men have to offer you probably won’t get past the first chapter. If a few pro-choice women would read through this book, I would be very interested in hearing their thoughts afterwards. Penelope? I in turn am willing to read any book representing your views.
Liz, you state the “anger and violence” you see in abortion protesters is “really, really scary.”
The cycles of violence and anger I see BECAUSE of abortion are “really, really scary” but mostly just super, super sad . . . . ):
There is a better way.