How much money do you need to be happy? Hint: Your sex life matters more

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How much money buys happiness? A wide body of research suggests the number is approximately forty thousand dollars a year. I interviewed Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University, and he says once you have enough money to meet basic needs — food, shelter, but not necessarily cable “?incremental increases have little effect on your happiness.

Aaron Karo, comedian and author of the forthcoming book, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, responds to the number with, “If you want to draw a line in the sand, happiness is having enough money so you don’t have to move back in with your parents.”

To someone who just spent four years in college living off nine-thousand-dollar loan stipends, an increase to forty thousand means a lot — moving from poverty to middle class. But it’s a one-time rush. After you hit the forty-thousand-dollar-range money never gives you that surge in happiness again.

Twentysomethings who are looking for happiness from their careers will benefit from research about their parents’ choices. Richard Easterlin, professor of economics at University of Southern California says previous generations have proven that our desires adjust to our income. “At all levels of income, the typical response is that one needs 20% more to be happy.” Once you have basic needs met, the axiom is true: more money does not make more happiness.

So then one asks, what does matter? The big factors in determining happiness levels are satisfaction with your job and social relationships. And in case you found yourself slipping back to thoughts of salary, according to Easterlin, “How much pleasure people get from their job is independent of how much it pays.”

Unfortunately, people are not good at picking a job that will make them happy. Gilbert found that people are ill equipped to imagine what their life would be like in a given job, and the advice they get from other people is bad, (typified by some version of “You should do what I did.”)

Gilbert recommends going into a career where people are happy. But don’t ask them if their career makes them happy, because most people will say yes; they have a vested interest in convincing themselves they are happy. Instead, try out a few different professions before you settle on one. For college students, Gilbert envisions this happening with part-time jobs and internships at the cost of “giving up a few keggers and a trip to Florida over spring break.” But even if you wait until you enter the workforce, it makes sense to switch from one entry-level job to another; no seniority and scant experience means you have little to lose. So it’s an ideal time to figure out what will make you happy: Use a series of jobs to observe different professions at close range to see if YOU think they make people happy.

It’s simple, proven advice, but few people take it because they think they are unique and their experience in a career will be different. Get over that. You are not unique, you are basically just like everyone else. Gilbert can, in the course of five minutes, rattle off ten reasons why people think they are unique but they are not. For example: We spend our lives finding differences between people to choose teachers, band mates and spouses, so our perception of peoples’ differences is exaggerated… And then Gilbert gets to grapes: “If you spend seven years studying the differences between grapes, no two will look the same to you, but really a grape is a grape.”

So your first step is to stop thinking you’re a special case. Take Gilbert’s advice and choose a career based on your assessment of other people in that career. You next step is to focus on social relationships, because in terms of happiness, job satisfaction is very important but social relationships are most important.

And by social relations, most researchers mean sex — with one, consistent partner. So consider giving your career aspirations a little less weight than you give your aspirations for sex. For those of you who like a tangible goal, David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College says, “Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness. And then the diminishing returns begin to set in.” He adds, to the joy of all who are underemployed, “It’s true that money impacts which person you marry, but money doesn’t impact the amount of sex you have.”

Maybe all this research simply justifies the twentysomething tendency to hold a series of entry-level jobs and put off having children. Says Karo: “All we really want is to get paid and get laid.”

 

261 replies
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  1. Max
    Max says:

    Sure I will choose sex and money :D
    Money is necessary to fulfill our needs, and sex is also one of our need.
    Even though money can buy sex, but it can’t buy love. That’s why what we need is make love, not make sex :D

  2. laimis
    laimis says:

    I kinda disagree with the title, I don’t need to be rich, but I want to make enough money to take care of my parents

  3. Spencer
    Spencer says:

    Why would you assume people think they’re different I wasn’t in the work force until I got married because I was like a screener and now I’m just happier when I’m not buckled down at work, but true I wish I made about 40g but all the same people start becoming way to compettive when there’s a job to make,that around here and I have tried lots of differrent types of work and I feel like,screenin didn’t work im glad i’ve got a job not happy,with success level I’ve acheived, but rather be working then nothing, trying to find work!

  4. Adam
    Adam says:

    That’s a very realistic goal… I like to hear that because so many people believe they need so much money to be happy. News flash: Money doesn’t buy happiness.

  5. yajsingh
    yajsingh says:

    Happiness, like pain and pleasure is a state of mind and isn’t necessarily influenced by external factors such as job, money or social standing.
    If we are free from anxiety of what future holds and do not carry emotional baggage of our past – i believe the person is happy.
    Again, it can be argued that few million dollars would free us from anxiety and help us forget past but – these to me are temporary. The only thing that matters is – living in the present. Are we?

  6. Zac Champigny
    Zac Champigny says:

    I really like how you tackled the fact that more money doesn’t necessarily make you happier. I know you aren’t the first person to say that but i think a lot of people need to hear it so the more people who say it the better.

    I think it’s also really valuable that you say asking people if they are happy in their jobs isn’t the best way to gauge how happy they are. Hands on experience is key and you don’t find many people giving the advice to “try a bunch of jobs” (I paraphrased) in order to find what makes them happy. I’m sure there are a bunch of companies right now screaming at their computers while reading this article but a company that really cares about having employees that fit will probably love what you have to say here.

    As for “Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness” It’s pretty amazing people needed to research that and figure it out…. lol.

  7. fmlyons
    fmlyons says:

    I don’t need money. I have my own house. I collect jaguar’s; XK8.XJR.&S-type. 2 kids in college and one in private school. So I just need a man that has that plus can handle me having it then we can think about doing the do.
    but today’s system has taken away our men and the women have done for themselves so it makes it hard for a nice guy to compete with all that. I tried it both ways with moneyman and withoutmoneyman. The without was fine and a good lover but…. I cant take care of no grown man just to say I got a man. Id rather my daughters see a good example of a strong woman and my son learning that he needs to do more and do better.
    GOD BLESS US ALL.

  8. Paul Neubauer
    Paul Neubauer says:

    “All we really want is to get paid and get laid.”

    More accurately, we get paid so we can get laid. At least that’s how it works for men. Women seem to have a completely different business model.

  9. super58173
    super58173 says:

    If sex was a red herring, and happiness was really in the relationship, then why identify it as “sex”?

  10. Amy
    Amy says:

    I’m going for the money, because my husband and I hadn’t had sex since our wedding night. Our wedding was 45 years ago! It was my first, last and only time for sex. So its the money for me and maybe I can afford to get out of the house.

  11. Chio
    Chio says:

    Now, isn’t easier to have less needs to feed than making more money to feed tons of unnecesesary needs? I mean once you settled those needs, new ones just star to burst in…It’s not about the money itself but our ability to stop the fixation of assigning a certain amount of happiness to everything we can accomplish or acquire. I think happiness it’s in the road, no matter if you are travelling on an a big SUV with air or in an old bike, we can all enjoy the sunset the same way….

  12. bật lửa zippo
    bật lửa zippo says:

    money can not buy happiness but in our real life, do not have money, we do not have happiness.Today, all things need money .me too, beacause i do not have money, i have to give up my happiness !

  13. Tom S
    Tom S says:

    You need enough money to be able to call yourself a writer, but actually become a blogger, never really work for a REAL company because you call them start-ups, convince others you are an expert, but really waste time in college only to find out you are like the rest of the silicon valley wannabe’s, then wake up one day on a farm with a family to home school your kid because you think you know more than actual teachers, to come to the realization that writing an article about money doesn’t equal happiness because you never knew enough about business to be as successful as the pompous Tim Ferriss and figure out your happiness comes from negativity you write about.

    THE BOTTOM LINE: You will never know how much money you need to be happy unless you grew from nothing or have ever struggled….which most college educated white women who are into the start-up techy world have never experienced, nor has your arch nemisis Tim Ferriss ever experienced…..BTW, I don’t like Tim Ferriss either, nor do I like bloggers like you who have never really worked in a REAL company and are all self professed experts, but really you write about other experts and you don’t have any top level skill expect for the Master’s of English that you earned…..so keep writing away on that farm convincing yourself and the other ignorant followers that you know something about Career Advice or how to start a business. Keep telling yourself that and you too might be able to fool folks with your Bestseller Book and then you can hoodwink Tim Ferriss and get back at him over coffee….LOL…..Good Day and enjoy the farm.

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  15. pjay
    pjay says:

    This article is very clearly targeted at the women of the world. Given the 50% divorce rate and the raping a man endures when his kids are held hostage, assets split, and remainder of his savings plundered to pay his (and his ex’s, oftentimes) legal fees, accountants, etc., marriage makes no sense for a man.

    Unless you want children, stay away from the institution if you are male.

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  17. Tribikram
    Tribikram says:

    Hi Penelope,

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  20. rachid
    rachid says:

    Great article , I really like it .
    I agree with you sex is more important than money , not just the sex there are many things are more important than money : love , happiness, time , health…..
    Thank you .

  21. Michael
    Michael says:

    I am really astonished at the amount of complete BS and hogwash that are being published and discussed in this website. What a load of crap!

    Now I understand why Professor Richard Feynman used to deride social science as pseudo science and used to compare social scientists to astrologers. These guys are “not even wrong”.

  22. reenie
    reenie says:

    I am in the midst of a career change and in my previous career have always put too much emphasise on money…………………..
    I am about to do totally the opposite………….
    Good to read this article, thanks Penelope

  23. mahmod
    mahmod says:

    hi i am miso from Egypt i love sex more than anything
    but i don’t fund it can i have jobe how can let me have sex with girls every day

  24. james gandolfini
    james gandolfini says:

    People talk about happiness formulas and it amazes me. This post included.

    what is happiness? contentness? that feel good tickle? lack of gloom? lack of anxiety? i mean dont we feel all of those things in no particular order, mixed with their opposites in no particular order?

    Money, good! but dont go crazy over it.
    Sex, with one partner only, great. go crazy over it.

    oh, wow!

  25. shawn
    shawn says:

    As I read this; although not surprised, I painfully respond. I never respond to articles on the web, yet I cannot continue with my day unless I do. Let me ask this question; with everyone’s preference being passionately debated, I have to wonder is anyone ever satisfied with sex, regardless the type? Once you finished, you will want it again. After Thanksgiving meal we are usually miserable and thinking, “I will never eat again”; however, within 4 hours we are grazing through the kitchen and picking at the turkey scraps. The only true satisfaction in life is settling our eternal future. Sex is good, Thanksgiving is good; but Jesus is the only thing that can truly satisfy you forever.

  26. Amos
    Amos says:

    As long as relationships are important, I think searching is important too.
    But we cannot take take them to be equal, of course relationships do matter most than money.

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