Man, this was just what I needed to read today. This particularly struck me:

“People think that what’s holding them back from taking risk is some big financial idea of stability and well being, but it’s really fear of losing your comfortable material life, whatever that is.”

Or mental comfort, even if it’s truly uncomfortable, it’s known so much easier to cling to. It’s just habituation. That’s what I’m dealing with it. And I don’t even have a rug to be pulled out from under me now, let alone a fancy one, so I really have nothing to lose. And that’s a great place to be right now.

Great column!

Maybe this is why I feel so uncomfortable, now that I’ve hit a point where my life is comfortable.

Penelope - Thanks for the very truthful and insightful post. So many times we get caught up hoarding “things” that we fail to remember what is necessary and important. Always climbing the corporate ladder just to acquire additional stuff leads one to an empty and unfulfilled life, not to mention a sometimes stressful existence. Though I have not experienced the 500 sq. ft. apartment with a family or a complete wipe out due to bed bugs, it seems that each time I have moved I realize how much unnecessary junk I have accumulated. Thanks for your honest and insightful look at career management. You have a way with words and truly speak to relevant issues!

Just read Joselle’s comment (it was being written simultanious with mine) and I have to agree 100%. The fear of changing jobs, careers, or location has more to do with losing what you have than taking the risk to do what you truly desire.

Penelope,

You’ve touched on so many interesting topics in this post. I’ll only comment on the stuff in storage — what compels people to spend money on storing their idle belongings? Awhile back, Tom Vanderbilt at Slate wrote this fantastic article about the self storage business.

He writes, “One in 11 American households, according to a recent survey, owns self-storage space — an increase of some 75 percent from 1995… How did self storage, or ‘mini storage,’ as it’s sometimes called, become such an enormous enterprise? And what on earth are people keeping in there?”

The two main culprits: mobility (used during a move… the average American will change residences 11 times in his/her life) along with the greater evil: consumerism.

“Throwing stuff out is not wasteful.” Not buying it in the first place is even better! Thanks for such a thoughtful post.

* * * * * * *
That is SO interesting. Having been in New York City for so long, it didn’t even occurr to me how weird storage space is. Great new perspective. Thanks, Nina.

–Penelope

A needed reminder of us all.

This is very good advice. The reason we have been able to make the leap to relying on full-time freelance income is that when we were making money we paid down debt and built up savings. We live on very little so we can be flexible in our choices.

Ding, ding, ding…that is the sound of a bell going off in my head!! What excellent advice, I just need to reprogram my life and habits!!

Very good read.

My husband and I are fairly good at living modestly. We can afford to buy stuff but choose not to.

I myself am one of those organizing freaks that holds on to very few things. I hold on to a few sentimental items, but for the most part I pitch.

My husband and I moved three times in two years. I learned to treasure a few things but recognize the “stuff” for what it was: useless clutter that didn’t make my life that much better.

Great post! But something really funny’s just happened - of ALL the stuff you’ve posted before, nothing’s made me baulk more than the info that your grandpa was a lawyer for the Chacago mob!! LOL!! (wonder what that says about me?!)

:)

The more crap you have, the bigger your house payment has to be, and the more you have to clean!

What’s very useful to me is to remember how I lived when I was poor as a churchmouse and then make a mental list of the things I have now that I couldn’t afford back then. This is how I distinguish between “wants” and “needs,” and it makes me really appreciate the “wants” that I have.

Absolutely brilliant post. Perfect.

Along this line, I discovered in my years doing personal financial planning that people are overly fixated on the concept of personal net worth when what usually makes people happy (or at least free of financial anxiety) is positive cash flow. For example, my wife and I put a ridiculously large down payment (55%) on our home to ratchet down our monthly fixed expenses. The result is a lower monthly income required to maintain our comfortable existence.

I’d certainly have a larger net worth had I gone the traditional route of 20% down and leveraged the rest, but 5 years later we’re able to live comfortably on one fairly average income (working for a non-profit) which allows my wife stay home raising our kids while all of our friends have to have two incomes in order to make their mortgate palatable.

In addition to consumerism of material goods, fixed monthly expenses (huge cell phone contracts, monthly cable bills, house cleaning services, large car payments, etc), can cripple your decision making as well. Thankfully, I can’t comment on bed bugging…

Brian J, I have noticed the same thing! Financial planners always want you to focus on your net worth, but that doesn’t really do you much good until that net worth can generate cash flow. Which would be retirement age, or whatever. Meanwhile, life is passing you by! You are *smart* to have put that money down on your house. Having your wife at home to raise the kids means something NOW - while life is happening - investing that money for retirement wouldn’t do you much good until you got old, and the kids would already be grown by then. If you’re going to save money, save it FOR something for crying out loud. Or just spend it!

Personally, I think I will always have to do something in the way of work, even if it is not full-time and even if it is a “for-fun” job that doesn’t pay very much. I got an easily affordable mortage as well and pay ahead on it every month. That means I have less to invest in my retirement portfolio (sacrilege!) but I will be minus a house payment that much sooner and able to enjoy the flexibility it brings.

My financial planner offers good investment advice and generates good returns, but I could not get him to read “Die Broke” by Stephen Pollan. When he starts having Gen X’ers and Y’ers as his customers instead of boomers, he will be ahead of his competition if he can grasp the cash flow mindset you just explained.

Great Great advice…I have friends that need to read this! They try and “trick” the system into cashflow when in actuality, if they just lived in their means they wouldn’t need such a complicated system. My wife and I do a “fairly” good job living below our means - but there are times when we “Need” something. Retail Therapy can come in handy at times ;) My point is that our system is easy - (Income after savings - bills = fun). Living below our means allows us to do that. I’m not saying that we don’t own things we don’t need…but we also don’t have anything that puts us in a position as Brian said, “Crippling” our ability to make a decision. Great line by the way! Sometimes the most simple concept takes a lifetime to learn.

Penelope,

You have nailed what I try to tell my friends on a daily basis. When the iPhone came out, several people I knew dropped their credit cards and spent over a grand to get their hands on one. There were hidden costs– dropping their previous account, starting a new one, buying the phone and taking themselves out of the inner-circle of friends. Since they weren’t Verizon anymore, every call cost money. Now just a month after giving in to the Apple PR machine, they are regretting their decision.

I might not be as cool as them with my old “brick” of a phone, but at least I didn’t cost myself any more money to do something I could do for free if my friends were directly in front of me.

I have talked to so many people who put all their extra stuff in storage only to visit in once or twice a year. The storage rental costs really add up after awhile so it ends up that you “buy” your stored items all over again with the rental fees.

Penelope . . . you rock!

Brian Johnson has it right I think, so does Charles Dickens:
“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.”
(Mr. Micawber, in David Copperfield).

Don’t throw things away, that is wasteful. Instead put them on Craigslist or http://www.freecycle.org/

Clutter is the enemy!

What makes you a great blogger is that you write from experience and tell a great story.

So, now that I’ve stroked your ego, can your parents give me 20 grand for my start up…eh..eh…eh???

Terry

This was, indeed, a very good post.

I think you’re right, though, that a very comfortable childhood informs your perspective. So let me push back and ask, Why tame materialism? Materialism–defined here as liking your creature comforts–is not inherently a bad thing. It’s when you start getting greedy and abusive to other people that it starts becoming a problem.

I’ve been very poor (both as a child and as an adult) and I’ve been comfortably upper-middle-class. I far prefer the latter. And when our life brings us to an event (such as a new baby) that has the potential to upset our economic applecart, I’m generally pretty good at figuring out how to sustain our lifestyle without going into debt or retreating to a lower standard of living.

The point I guess I’m meandering toward is that “taming materialism” can also be a copout. To me, the first question to ask is, Is there a reasonable way I can raise my income to what we now need to remain comfortable? Only after I’ve exhausted that line of thought does “taming materialism” come into the picture.

In fact–as you and I both know from our grad school days–”taming materialism” can be an enabler for fear and laziness, as opposed to pursuing your potential as a professional and an earner. How many grad students and other professional bohos drape themselves in the nobility of poverty?

Again, I think that what you’ve written is very valuable–especially insofar as it’s a brand-new insight for a lot of people. But I also think it can also be a seductive excuse, too.

Now Penelope, that is One inspirational post.
And I’m not just saying so because of your grandparents links with the mob -

The fine line between mortgaging oneself to the hilt in the hope of promotion and a pay increase, and the ability to live with less to move and even take a pay cut.

PS - The bed bugs bite wherever people live. Any mattress after a few months will acquire them, they live on our dead skin, but sounds like you had their vampire cousins …
Not al bats are vampires, some are fruit bats

We lived a sabbatical year in England, in a small but sparely-furnished house, and after looking into household shipping costs which no one would reimburse, we decided to move with only what we could take with us on the airplane — without paying for extra luggage! — clothes, toys, books, and all.

Amazingly? We did just fine. Nor are we “poor” people. Nor did we feel deprived. It was a *very* eye-opening experience!

The bed bugs sound awful — so sorry! We got head lice in England. I was beside myself (this was before I’d even heard of them in the US… now I know they are getting fairly common here, too.) I called the kids’ school in Oxford, horrified, to report it… and instead of being banned from school, we were laughed at for being so worked up. Every kid there gets lice, multiple times usually, and no one is kept out of school because of them. Fortunately, they are a lot easier to get rid of than bed bugs (they can only live off-host for a few hours; don’t fly or jump; and don’t require the poisons, etc., that most Americans try to use against them.)

It is amazing how materialistic our society really is. Every day we are bombarded with clever marketing campaigns convincing us that we need to have the next best thing in order to keep up with the Jones. And unfortunately, most of us take the bait and jump onto the consumption treadmill. The problem is once you are on the treadmill it is very difficult to get off.

Materialism is ultimately what holds most people back from achieving their true life’s aspirations. It’s a shame, but most people would rather have the shiny new BMW parked in front of their big house in the best neighborhood and be members of the local country club (boring) that truly live life.

In your post, you stated “People think that what’s holding them back from taking risk is some big financial idea of stability and well being, but it’s really fear of losing your comfortable material life, whatever that is.” You clearly and eloquently hit the nail on the head with this statement. Materialism becomes an addiction and trying to break the habit naturally creates fear.

I know this fear personally. As a financial advisor, I have been lucky enough to earn a nice living. But I too have jumped onto the materialistic treadmill. Yes, I have all this “stuff,” but none of it truly makes me happy.

The reality is that I would rather live a comfortable life, and have more opportunity to spend time with the people I truly care about… my family and my friends. I believe that is what brings real happiness in life. But if you need the new BMW, the big house, and the country club lifestyle, you most likely won’t have the time to enjoy those things with the people that ultimately bring you the most happiness if life.

Great post as always Penelope!

It was being poor that made me not afraid of being poor. Once you’ve been there, it’s no longer the unknown and it’s the unknown that’s so scary.

It never occurred to me that having been well-off could also make you not afraid of being poor!

The 80-20 rule apparently applies to clutter too. Most of us use 20% of what we own and could get rid of the 80% that we never use but keep anyway “just in case we need it.” Peter Walsh in his book “It’s all too much” talks about the epidemic of acquisition, people getting buried under the crush of their own possessions — it’s easy to get caught up in buying more and more (especially the lure of the newest electronic toy), but maybe it’s not necessary to fill every empty space with stuff that has no purpose other than to satisfy the urge created by an advertising campaign. Now I question why I’m buying something — do I need it? Or is it something I want? Is it something I really want? Or is it something I want because someone else has it or the media tells me I should have it to be part of a herd? I long ago decided I didn’t need to add more clothes to my closet just because there is a new seasonal fad (fashion designers need you to buy new stuff every year for their business bottom line; that doesn’t mean you have to buy into their sales pitch). I just need to apply that rule to other things. Clearing some space and reducing the load would be a good thing. One of your best columns, Penelope. Thanks!

Another excellent post! Penelope, thanks for reminding me of what my values really are regarding “stuff.”

Also: Bed bugs? Eeeeeeeeeek!

Quasar9 seems to be confusing dust mites (which really do occur wherever people are) with bed bugs. They’re not the same thing. Dust mites aren’t even visible to the naked eye, nor do they produce a biting sensation.

A very timely article. Both of my wifes parents and my mother passed away within 3 months of each other in 2000/01 and we “inherited” all of their stuff. Being reluctant to throw out anything for fear that it would be a keepsake or our children would want it the “stuff” has resided in our garage for the last 6+ years. Last weekend we started going through it and are throwing away 98% of it. After reading your article I think that number will climb to 99.5%!

I am under the perception that Americans (and Canadians) aren’t even aware that there is a problem with materialism, so I’m impressed with this post.

One of the factors that led to my emigration from Canada was the rampant materialism. I would hear people complaining that they didn’t have money, but that was because they were spending more in a month than many people make in a year. Values were ignored in the pursuit of that almighty dollar. I didn’t want to live in that type of society, or raise my (eventual) kids there.

Since I left 14 years ago, it’s only gotten worse. For example, at that time weddings would be dressy, but only the occasional one would be black-tie. Now, I’m going to Canada for a wedding that is black-tie with a ridiculous budget that matches those of small countries, and I understand that this is an “understated” event. Who do people think they are?

Such waste, when people don’t even have food on their table. I’m not saying that weddings are bad, but a little self-control would be nice. This keeping-up-with-the-joneses is ridiculous.

One of my professors in University, himself an immigrant to Israel from the US, once told us that the God mentioned on the American dollar is the dollar.

Life in Israel has taught me to live small and lower my dependence on expensive items. I drive a car here that 16 year olds wouldn’t be caught dead in in Canada. I live in a tiny apartment with a whole bunch of kids, but I love it. There’s little pressure to have fancy stuff and live fancy. Name brands, those marketing ploys, thankfully mean little here.

There is more freedom where there is less materialism.

Loved this! It did make me think though that there are a lot of people (like me) who live frugally, but still find themselves missing out on the stability and freedom that frugality can bring because of one thing: student debt. You may have already done it (though I did do a search), but I would love to see a post on this blog by you devoted to advice on dealing with large amounts of student debt. Because no matter how much scrimping and saving we do, there’s still $140,000 that we have to pay back.

I’m curious — since you took some stuff with you in a U-Haul, why didn’t you bring that U-Haul to Terminix and have it gassed? This way, you could have saved more items and known for sure that you killed any lurking bed bugs. Did someone advise you against this option?

Quasar9, you’re confusing dust mites with bed bugs. Very BIG difference. Google it.

OHK - Absolutely agree!! It is NO fun living like a pauper despite making good money - all because you have to pay the piper (and I’m happy to pay him, since I *did* incur that debt…I’m just saying it’s no fun).

I came home from work a couple weeks ago when the Environment Agency called to tell me that my home was under a severe flood warning. I picked up the photo albums and moved them to the upstairs. I put the dog upstairs. And then i stood in the middle of the house and realised that there was absolutely nothing else that couldn’t be replaced or meant all that much to me. My computer was backed up off site with all my recent photos so that about covered us.

The best wake up call I’ve had in years!

James, I like that you ask why we didn’t gass the bed bugs, because this gives me a chance to reveal how uttery hopeless it is to try to get rid of them.

Penelope

… taming materialism can be an enabler for fear and laziness, as opposed to pursuing your potential as a professional and an earner. How many grad students and other professional bohos drape themselves in the nobility of poverty? …

Ya know, this post was so good that reading the comments was almost as much fun as reading the original post. Good job PT. The post was full of lessons, personal and professional, and you were honest about details that many people would rather not have talked about. Telling it like it is, takes courage as well as intelligence. It’s one think I admire in Gen-Y folks. (I liked the link to the cool DKNY clothes too, but that’s me.) The NYT article was priceless (pun intended) and a main reasons I like PT’s blog (and recommend it to others) is her excellent links. (Hey I even liked the compete.com link!)

As for the great comments, many I liked, but the above quote hit home for me. I’m one of those grad school kids that tried to say poverty was noble, and btw some spiritual traditions say the same, but the reality is that poverty is only noble if your children aren’t crying for lack of food, or medicine.

The reality is, whether we like or not, the global business world is based on capital building and you build capital by having positive cash flow (as several comments correctly pointed out). But most importantly, if you value happiness, then as PT pointed out, you need to rethink your priorities because positive cash flow is not enough. You also need time with your family and friends, your loved ones, a feeling of connection, and a lack of life-threatening disasters…. Warm regards.

* * * * * *

Tidbit: The most popular outbound link in this post is the one about my great work clothes. I should be a spokesperson for DKNY.

–Penelope

Whew, thanks for the lifeline. Those flatscreen TV’s were starting to look inviting.

Penny,

It must be a socio-cultural thing, but fear of loss is but one of the incidental variables that come into play when I think of doing something potentially risky in my career.

I grew up poor in the third world sense of the word. My neighbors were an extended family with 3 generations of siblings, their current partners, their children, and their children’s children - all with one steady job between them -living together. Note there was just 1 wedding ring in the household - that relationship to its credit lasted 14 years - and only three of the seven to ten children present at any time had the same father.

My father and mother were teachers for 33+ years each, but at their peak career incomes, they made less than anyone here made on minimum wage in the seventies. But we were “respectable.” My parents were married, had jobs, and as such had that intangible quality that made them pillars of our small commumity. NOTHING, was more important than being “respectable.” And one of the main things that differentiated a respectable household from others, was the accumulation of well cared for “stuff” that was acquired over time.

Children seldom do what their parents say, but they invariably do what their parents do. My programming seems to have predisposed me to avert career risk, especially after marriage and our first of many children. I worked like a demon while going to school, and did not give up my restaurant job for 14 years - I even kept it after I graduated with my MBA from a Big Ten college. My parents collected everything! We threw nothing away, not jobs, and certainly not material things unless they were rotting, dangerous, or embarrassing :). I find myself doing the same thing much to the chagrin of my wife - who came from a more forward thinking family. It explains my intense fear of failure, my reluctance to seek better career opportunities, and my worry about how I am perceived by others - good family men do not take chances with that which feeds their family - even if they are starving slowly.
When you are poor, and black, you are often judged by others, both inside and outside of your subset of the general community, based upon what is on the outside. That which shows becomes really very important. And if getting what you want means risking what you have, the dynamic becomes even more “interesting.”

When thinking about materialism, please try to see it from a multi-dimensional viewpoint. This willingness to explore different paradigms is what sets you apart, and is really important because it can only enhance your understanding of people who may be very different from yourself.

Here’s some advice that somene told me and I found it very insightful…Go through your closet. Pull out ever piece of clothing that you own that is too small, too big, out of style, never in style, bought for one occasion, or still has the price tags hanging on it from a year ago.

Now, put all of that stuff in a big pile in your bedroom. Next, get a chair and sit down next to the pile.

Reflect on all of the time and energy that pile took to build. How many hours did you waste shopping? What about the natural resources burned driving to get to the store? How many times have you moved it, driven to Target to figure out how to store it, how much money did you spend on it, or have you actually sold your home so you could put it all in a bigger room?

Now, for your final energy spend, pick up the pile, put it all in trash bags, and drive it down to your local homeless shelter or Goodwill. From now on, buy only quality and buy only what you need (with a few items thrown in for fun).

Thanks. We need people we respect to teach us that material is just that and not more. With all the problems in the world, we — moneyed or otherwise, too often toss do-re-mi in material forms at the problems. Surprise. Things usually get worse. Ethics, good stewardship of the earth, universal health care, and quality public education pre-K through college for all people are some of the orthy goals to get behind and to lose sleep or sweat over. Not collecting material beyond the basics. And anyone can define those, with a glance at your post if the imagination freezes. Will the pep talk help the crazed shopaholics filling their empty-feeling souls with that thirteenth white blouse or zillionth perfect black dress? Nah. Yet please keep sending the message.

I agree with Yvette - John C’s post was a bullseye for balancing out this discussion. Dale, thanks for posting your story as well - I have noticed that my parents’ behavior still influences me as well. That is a good thing in many ways, but I also tend to be too risk-averse and worry too much about money if I’m not mindful of it.

Penelope, you misunderstood me. I’m not talking about a bomb that you might buy at Home Depot.

If you live in a house and get bedbugs, you can hire someone to tent the house and pump vikane gas in for a day or so. This gas, first developed to kill termites, kills all insects, including bed bugs.

If you live in an apartment building, you’re out of luck in most situations, but you can place your possessions in a U-Haul truck, drive out to Terminix, and have the back of the truck gassed. It should work. It’s expensive, but probably cheaper than discarding all your belongings (unless you just got out of college and did all your shopping at Ikea or worse).

It sounds like you didn’t know about this option.

PS: Homeowners should also check out ozone treatments, which basically does the same thing as Vikane gas.

Hi, I just started reading your blog and I like it a lot. You have a nice writing style and I enjoy how your topics unfold. Keep writing.

:)

Penelope-

With a family rolling in cash from the mob payoffs, it seems you have a pretty good backstop in the event you losing everything, or all your money. How do you suggest the not so fortunate readers handle the risk of running out?

* * * * * * *
My family doesn’t work that way.

Penelope

Well, this one hits me hard, but I need that. I’m a compulsive pack-rat, along with a compulsive bargain hunter, so I usually end up with some really great stuff and then just tons of junk I rarely use. So much that I have boxes labelled “garage sale” that I’ve carried with me in my last three moves. Seriously. I haven’t even opened them in years. Thanks for this challenging post - I feel inspired to de-junk immediately.

Funny how much more desirable your parsed down version of things seems compared to my junk-hauling ways.

The same day I read your blog I also read a counterpoint that suggested that “too many of us are living with a poverty mentality.” http://summitconsulting.com/balancingact/balancingact_august07.html

The author, Alan Weiss, suggests that we cling to our fears that we don’t belong — some call it the Imposter Syndrome. (Might be a good topic for you to write about). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_Syndrome

You were able to liberate yourself by choosing to abandon materialism whereas Weiss seems to be able to liberate himself (discretionary time to do the things he wants) because of his materialism. I guess I’m a believer that it is “free will” not “free beer” that counts in the end. Cheers.

Great post about clutter and things we think we need. My wife and I have moved 6 times in the 12 years we’ve been married. Unpacking during Move #5, we found a few boxes from Move #2 that we’d never opened. After some debate, we agreed to pitch them, without opening them first. Not sure what we tossed, but fairly sure we haven’t missed that stuff!

I’m 40 and the hubby and I have been married 17 years this Saturday…we had nothing when we first got married - our 1,100 square foot house had an entire empty room in it! Now, 5 moves and three kids later, we obviously have more stuff.

But our best rule about stuff, since, it seems, we move every 3-4 years (although, I hope not, anymore)is that if we haven’t opened a box since the last move, it goes to Goodwill as we pack for the current move, UNOPENED. If we didn’t need it in years, there’s no point in opening the box.

This concept of how much is enough is something I’ve been struggling with for a while. My situation got to the point that I was going to move into a tent for the summer until I could get back on my feet and get an apt. Instead I moved into a one bedroom apt with a friend and got rid of most of my “stuff”. I do have a storage unit that I share with a grown daughter but when she moves her stuff out I’m getting rid of it. The only thing I miss is the hundreds of books I don’t have room for anymore. Going to the library is a nice alternative but I have an emotional attachment to my books and they are hard to let go. Loved the article. Keep them coming.

Very interesting RESPONSE rate to this posting Penelope. I feel that the next decade in America will try and put a little reversal on the instant gratification age… The credit markets today, the insane amount of “stuff” that is available to our kids today… I see glimpses all around that our cyclical world just might make a move back to values, less is more, etc. I’m hoping so at least :)

Thank you for the timely post. I completely agree with what you’ve said, but that doesn’t make it any easier to part with my “stuff”!

My husband and I are relocating to an area with a significantly higher cost of living for our jobs, and are going to have to downsize significantly in the process (2300sf house to 1000sf apartment). The prospect of getting rid of a lot of what we have worked so hard for is daunting to say the least. I’m not sure why we are so attached to things like our furniture. Perhaps because the furniture is a tangible representation of a goal that we’ve achieved? (In most cases, that goal has been saving up money to buy high quality furniture for our house with cash instead of on credit.)

I know that if we had to part with all of our furniture and other “stuff” in an emergency (flood/fire/bedbugs), it would be ok (not easy, but ok). For some reason I find that it is much harder to make a conscious choice to get rid of things in a non-emergency situation.

I love and agree with every point. Another terrific post, Penelope.

This is a topic close to my heart in the last few years. I find it faacinating how countercultural it’s become to be thrifty and eceonomical with possessions. A couple of generations ago it was a virtue - now it’s slandered as a lack of material ambition, or even being miserly.

Extraneous possessions are *stressful*. Every single item isn’t just owned by you - it owns you right back. It demands a slice of your time, of your house, of your peace of mind. If it never gets used and you know all too well how much you spent on it, then it spreads across your inner calm like dry-rot….

*Necessities*: what we need.
*Stuff*: what we don’t need but we want.
*Junk*: what we don’t need and we don’t really want. Usually bought for the thrill of buying.

The Backpack Game (similar to your suggestions):
next week, you’re walking to a bus-stop a couple of miles away that will take you to a plane that is flying somewhere exotic, where you’ll be spending the next decade. You can only take what you can carry - and you have an item of hand-luggage and a 45/55/70-litre rucksack. You have a week to sell / give away the rest. What stays and what goes?

(I think this would be called ‘The Zen Of Travel’).

This post is interesting and raises many good points.

I do think, though, that for someone who was raised with money and probably has every expectation of a generous inheritance, it’s much easier to “tame materialism” than for people who are trying to cover their living costs as well as saving for college, retirement, and caring for elderly parents of limited means. It’s not as hard to let “stuff” go if you know that, if push came to shove, you could reach into the livingroom drawer to replace it.

Thanks for posting this.

Penelope, another great blog and you have very interesting readers who make great comments.

Oliver James goes even further and in his book “Affluenza” makes the case that materialism is responsible for causing depression, anxiety,etc and basically infecting our society so people live in a totally insane unhappy manner.

I blogged about an American group called the compactors who got a lot of abusive publicity for harming the American economy because they made a compact to spend as little as possible. You don’t seem to be encountering this at all, so views do seem to be changing.

A last word from J. Brotherton
“My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants”

Penelope,
I’m so glad I read this today. My husband and I are moving to a house. Just a tad bigger than our condo, but the bedrooms are a tad smaller. But with a better layout. I was freaking out about the closet space. Being a fashion whore and a vintage clothing dealer, closet space is essential. but I took a critical look at what I have and what can be thrown out. And you know what? It wasn’t that hard to throw stuff out. And now I will have a yard and a little dog. I think the dog is baby training.

Well, I’m obviously 10 days behind in my blog reading, but I must say this is now one of my favorite blog posts of all time. The struggle with materialism is a topic that is near and dear to my heart; I battle it daily. So you live in a small house, too? I’m in good company then.

A friend of mine who traveled in India noted that the folks she stayed with here poor (by our standards) but certainly generous, more so than what she had experienced in the States.

Penelope,

As I read I felt I could have written your post, so much I lived what you did, in a slightly different order. Including the bed bugs (these were bat bugs, but the same deal), and moving from a six-bedroom house to a 70-square meter apartment in Paris. Three dumpsters of junk, endless yard sales & Goodwill deposits, and now 5 storage containers of stuff sitting untouched in the states for 18 months. What do I miss? A few paintings and photo albums.

I decided that you can own your stuff or you can let your stuff own you. It was & is liberating to not have to worry about it all. Talk to “attic debris removal” providers about their horror stories and you’ll never want to save — or buy –another item.

The mantra is simple: Want less.

Penelope,

expert is not so helpful as people thought.

it’s funny… you americans have a concept of frugality that is seen as so obscene in the rest of the world… you guys think of frugality as not having 2 cars and a 5 bedroom’s house… oh boy, that’s not frugality… actually take this as a compliment for the wealthiness of this country, but have in mind that as time goes by, things that are not commodities now will be and such difference in wealthiness won’t be justified…

I live in a very small house that is 476 square feet of living space, no bookshelves, one closet, no attic, no basement, no garage, one very small garden shed. For a number of years I paid for a storage unit to store my things. I finally took everything out of storage last year and wondered why I paid someone money to store, well not a whole heck of a lot.

I realize I have issues with my possessions and I have been slowly letting then go. It’s hard, even 18 months later I am still cleaning out Rubbermaid bins of things I brought with me when I moved to New England 7 years ago, never missed, never used. I have sold things on Craigs List, books on Half. com, given things to freinds, put items on Freecycle, thrown out items, had a tage sale, etc.

Part of me wonders how I accumulated so many items and part of me is having a hard time getting rid of these items. I can remember a time in my life when I could pack up and move in less than an aftenoon.

I’ve made it a goal for 2008 to reduce my possessions by half.

This was an excellent article. The reference to bedbugs was particularly timely- several apartments in the building I live in have them- fortunately not me… but I did get fleas (horror).

Tip for anyone with bedbugs: (my friend is a bug geek) you can steam them to kill the eggs, and use a spray to kill the adults. Rent a steamer (or use your clothes iron steam feature) to go along the baseboards and cracks and floor boards. Steam your bed frame, rugs and mattress too. Wash sheets in hot water and hot dryer. Steam heavily. Repeat every few weeks until they’re gone. Good luck!

Oh, and you should caulk the cracks along the baseboards to keep more from coming in to your apartment from adjacent apartments.

Penelope, I love this story. I work in a part-time role five days a fortnight and on the other five working days have a couple of freelance jobs working from home. I own hardly anything…no car, no apartment (which is a studio anyway) and am generally cheap to run. I always felt weighed down by possessions…now I just have books. What really annoys me is when people say “You’re so lucky, working five days a fortnight!”. I let them know that they, too, could do the same if they wanted to earn what I earn. It’s not luck…it’s good management.

I just read this post (and the comments) and it’s easy to see why this post is one of the popular posts. I’m gradually reducing the weight of my material anchors. In addition to my own mounting material mass I somehow managed to acquire a fair amount of ordinary stuff from my parents estate since I bought the family house. I even had my brothers and sister and their families over for dinner so that they could lay claim to stuff I really didn’t need or want. They thanked me for that but I didn’t really get rid of much stuff. However I have managed to give away some of those things since then as the opportunity presents itself. It’s an ongoing process and my level of consumerism has decreased considerably over the years. It’s now more about what I need or else feel I will really use and benefit from. Truly a timeless post that applies to almost everyone.

I have lived in the third world…..and when you see how much “we” have and they don’t, you begin to think deeply on many things

we are creatures of our own culture, our own advertising…we are soaked in it from day one…and it is soooo shallow

Peter: Much as I can see the point you are making, I have to say that as a person born in the “third world” and having lived there till my early 20s, my observation is that there is nothing “profound” about being poor. The business of survival takes over the human being so much that he/ she also is materialistically focused, only at the other end of the spectrum. And those, who are not poor, ignore their fellow human beings, who are poor and go about their rampage of consumption. I wouldn’t say they are very profound either.

There is a saying in Sanskrit: “bubhukshitah kim na karoti paapam” which means “what crime a hungry man may not commit!” and highlights the dangers arising from extreme or relatively considerable poverty too.

Eventually, what satisfies us is a function of how we define our life. Most get caught in their peer group comparisons; many do not. Nothing to suggest the latter is holier or more profound, just materially less attached. After all a shroud has no pockets!

I have to say, although I do not live in a third world country, I will have to agree with Shefaly. People could say I have too much, but not people in a first world country. I work in the not-for-profit sector, so I live in a shared flat, I have to budget pretty carefully to make sure I have fresh veggies to eat, I can’t go out and buy things, like toilet paper on a whim. In the winter, we don’t really turn the heat on (and I live in Scotland right now, so I need to!) But I am safe and comfy, I am not starving. So it enables me to jump from job to job, live where I want, and travel sometimes.

Yes, mass consumerism is terrible, but honestly, if you HAVE to make due with nothing, it’s a lot harder than if you choose to.

What an experience with the bed bugs! I will never complain about finding the odd cockroach flying in the windows again. Many many people have told me that they live with minimalist possessions. “If you don’t use it within a year, then you probably never will. Throw it out!” That seems to be valuable advice.

If I’ve learned anything about materialism it’s that it’s a mindset, a habit, and a paradigm that can be changed, but it starts internally.