I have only had an exit interview once but I thought it was worthwhile. I had said everything I needed to say to my boss but the exit interview was done by the HR department and it's anonymous. A few of us left around the same time and we gave similar feedback so I have no doubt it helped our friends who were still there.

Dear Penelope,
I have been reading your blog now for a couple of months. Though I do not agree with you on a lot of points I have always found your posts thought provoking and stimulating.
Today, for the first time, I clicked through to Yahoo finance and read the full post and some of the comments left there.
I must say, I am amazed. I cannot believe the scathing remarks you receive on your posts. Is it that people do not, or are unwilling, to understand where you are coming from. Do they expect you to spoonfeed them with point by point legalistic instructions with exclusionary clauses and disclaimers.
The main comment seem to be: "You don't work where I work, you don't know my boss or my workplace where it is do as your told or you're fired so teach me something to cope with that or shut up."
As I read these comments I want to ask a couple of questions of these critics: Are you so desperate for a job that you are willing to be treated as a slave – a non-person? Are your workplace environment of such a nature that you can have no voice or opinion?
Privately I think that if this is the case people either do not have a spine or they are masochists. If they had any sense, and could unplug from their workplace for torture chamber for a second, they would realize that their jobs are killing them and do something about it.
Thank you for writing your blog. Thank you for you for continuing to write despite the negative criticism.
I might still not agree with everything you say but you make me think. I really appreciate that.

Gerhi Janse van Vuuren

Hi Penelope,
majority of the points seem to be too controversial today.

For instance, I believe that video-resumes is a nice idea. Having being perfectly developed in, say 5-10 years, it will be applied by recruiters as the 'first-line defence'.

There are many professions like entertainers, actors, journalists, sales managers, models etc. which must be able to self-promote or 'sell' themselves best-possible way. Thus, if they fail the 'face-control' video-resume, no doubt they are not impressive in real life too.

Another proof of predicting a flourishing future for video-resuming and interviewing is that we all tend to get the full picture first, and afterwards – the details. That is we all send resumes with the best pics.

I can almost see an HR Manager, sitting in his arm-chair, drinking coffee, and looking at a wall-size electronic monitor, where hundreds of candidates self-present. Isn't it convenient? Of course, every such resume will be accompanied with short image and text notices about the content, highlighting the main idea and the strongest sides.

Anyway, you've briskly touched many interested points, thanks

Wow, I'm amazed at all the angry little anonymous people on Yahoo. Seriously, I think they need to use the whole names, real names, because that "anonymous attack mentality" is just nuts.

That aside, you make great points. Companies ostensibly employ adults, and adults shouldn't have to ask permission. Adults know what they need to do and when to do it, and they don't need to "ask Mommy or Daddy" if they can go across the street. Angry managers on Yahoo can look at it like "I'm the boss." But, as your book shows, there are no real "bosses" anymore.

Keep writing what you write. Stir the little angry and anonymous hornets. Some day they'll be amazed when they're found no longer relevant at work. Surprise, surprise.

P.S. Yep, Facebook is where it's at. I'm amazed at its ascendancy and utility.

Wow. Read the article/comments on Yahoo. I think it's pretty obvious that's not your target audience. Still, we all don't work at Google or Best Buy. Considering the vast number of companies that have more, umm, traditional cultures, you must realize most workers don't/can't enjoy these liberties (yet). I do think it's changing, tho.

Great article!

I think that a lot of the points depend on the industry you are in. Video resumes are great for marketing/ad positions but might not be the best idea for all jobs as you said. I plan on initiating many of these practices when I open a business. Great open ended article!

Dave

PS: Forget all those negative comments on yahoo finance, most are just angry individuals in general.

Wow, Today was the first time I went over to Yahoo and actually read the comments below the article. I'm speachless – so incredibly negative. I only read via this site and I'm almost always engaged in the article as it appears most people are. At times, I get frustrated with Ryan's articles (both quality and content) but I've learned to take them with a grain of salt and have tried to put myself in his shoes.

Imagine if Ryan posted over there on Yahoo – that would might send some people into a seething cardiac arrest.

Hi

You are purposely asking for controversy with this over the top list.

I agree with “Don't try to improve a coworker.” Many coworkers are incredibly ignorant about things like soft skills or have blind spots that they are completely clueless about. So they keep acting like idiots until a disaster happens. I’ve seen some even die of heart attacks.

If someone called me on the weekend for work I would make sure it never, ever, happened again.

You seem to getting blasted on Yahoo lately. Good Luck.

"I would suggest to you, that spending any time at all on FaceBook or related web-sites and blogs including yours during working hours is not exactly what many companies are seeking outside the media world. "

I would agree that my boss would not be happy to think of me spending but one minute on the internet. The reality is I pump out ideas everyday on how to make our product better. It is not because I am a super genius, it is because I try to keep up with the geniuses out there doing interesting and new things. If your idea of new and interesting things is reading library books on your off hours, you are missing out on free creativity! Do some value add people!

Jimmy,

Perhaps you could post why you disagree, what has worked best for you, and how you would like to see the workplace change for each point.

I didn't get to read the comments in the Finance page b/c they were removed already but I think I can understand their pain…

Why does the author speak down to the reader? It's off-putting to be told there is only one way to do things and that if we are not using her terminology (i.e. social media).

I haven't done any research but what does Penelope Trunk's resume look like? I'm guessing this is a case of, "those who can't do, teach."

Prove me wrong, what corporate gigs has she had?

What the hell is Albert talking about? I think he may be on drugs. I think the writer is a hottie. I might add that she's very snooty, making her hotter in a smarty-pants sort of way.

Penelope, I am starting to wonder if you set out to provoke as part of your branding. Preaching to twentysomething choirs, like Anne Coulter does to her hardliners. In the land where straight dope is not nearly as good (read: branding, marketing) as telling them what the want to hear, especially if it's over the top and "makes enemies."

I mean, your readers love this: "don't ask for time off, just take it." I can hear the drums beating. rally the (unemployed) troops. Do you care if this is an irresponsible message, is this what we tell future leaders?

And really, to wrap all of this hooey under the banner of an authentic, responsible life. Gag me. What is at stake in this quest for the authentic? Life? Liberty? Sacrifice? No…not that…what then….oh, the right to wear an ipod and duck out with consulting my superior…I give up

I don't understand the people saying that exit interviews are mandatory. You've quit! What are they going to do, fire you for not showing up?

However, if they insist, go in with three key messages and keep repeating them. For example: "Thank you so much for giving me the chance to work for your company and team, I look forward to my future challenges and I wish you all the best."

It's all about key messages, be like a politician and stick to key messages answering the questions you want to answer and answering the others with thanks and move on.

Why are you leaving?
It's been such a privilege to work with you and your team and I'm really looking forward to the next part of my career.

What could we do to improve the workplace?
It's been such an honour to work here and I wish your team all the best.

How did you get along with your boss?
It was such a privilege to work here with your company and your team and I'm eager to take what I've learned from XX into the next phase of my career.

Make sure you tell your collegues what a pleasure it was to work there and tell your boss (even if you can't stand him/her) how much you've learned (even if that's short for, 'I never thought an ass like you would get to the director level.').

Some of this advice is good (be nice; video resumes suck); some of it so very bad… Call people for work on the weekend?!? No way. Invite the CEO to be your friend on Facebook? Poor decision. I have spent the last 5 years at a hip, hot, well respected tech company that others are dying to get inside and those things would not fly here, much less at a more staid place. As for telling people you're going to be out (instead of asking)- you'd better be tenured and tight with your boss before you pull this one. I do this now but only after earning the trust of manager and co-workers over time. As a manager, it would really rankle if a young new employee did this – they'd end up low on the dreaded stack-ranking spreadsheet and be more likely to get canned if a reduction-in-force came about.

At our company we "can" people who don't show up to
work or don't schedule time off. Your advice only
works for young people doing near-useless jobs.

Dear Wayne,

I do not think that I implied that anybody was lazy or mediocre but a chump, yes that I do think.
Wayne, like you I have a wife and two children to support. I do not have parental support to fall back on. My mother in law invested in our current house but we have bought two houses before on our own financial strength. I drive a car that is sixteen years old and yes, incidently it's my mother's old car. I'm also pushing forty so I'm hardly a twenty something.
When things get tough we make changes to our lives. I have moved, changed jobs, changed cities, downscaled from a house to a converted garage and upscaled again back to a house. I have people depending on me but my wife has also been my best supporter in every difficult change we have made. I accept that things can and do change and that my happiness and well-being are in my hands. That is why I cannot see myself, or treat myself, as a statistic in any form.
There is a difference between cool arrogance and insisting on being treated as a human being. If the company that you are working for is rigid to such an extent that you are treated as cannon fodder on the commercial battleground then you have to think about your position. You were not conscripted, you voluteered. And if you voluntarily stay in a work situation that does not respect you as an individual or a human being then in my opinion, you are a acting like a chump.

Dear you_are_dumb,

"At our company we “can” people…" Does that make you proud? If you do not show up one day will you also be "canned" – no matter what your reasons. Will you still be proud of 'your' company on that day?

Penelope,

James explains somewhat why people on Yahoo comes down so hard on your ideas; "First, I think most of the harsh comments on Yahoo stem from the fact that you are labeled as a Finance Expert."
What he doesn't explain is why people who disagree with you don't give considered reasons why they don't agree, or stop reading your stuff and move on.

Gerhi Janse van Vuuren

I've noticed a pretty low quality of feedback on Yahoo in general. Because it's such a well-known forum, it's an attractive target for "vandalism", derogatory comments, spam, "firsties", etc.

re: "Facebook …. the youngest members of the workforce are a little worried that having the ADULTS THERE WILL RUIN THINGS [CAPS mine, for emphasis], adults are psyched to be there. No one wants to miss out on all the fun…."

Lest any reader misreads your message and senses a negative vibe in the phrase (ADULTS THERE WILL RUIN THINGS, which I changed to all CAPS), I suggest everyone and their elders visit Ronni Bennett's exceptional blog and read this post: "Facebook = Elder Hatebook." What Ronni reports is scarey, disgusting, and real. (http://www.timegoesby.net/2007/07/facebook-elde-1.html).

Hmmm. I wonder if you're right that younger people are "more transparent" than older people. Maybe they just have less to hide!

It's true they have less at stake.

Anyway, the whole point of etiquette is to make other people happy and comfortable. Some of your suggestions (don't try to improve co-workers, be "nice") meet that criterion.

Others (just take time off, call co-workers on the weekend) maybe do not.

Another excellent article! Sorry for all of the insults you receive – obviously some of your Yahoo readership isn't intelligent enough to decipher your advice. Now, two questions:

1. Is it detrimental to use those new, cheesy yet fun Facebook Apps? Should there be a limit if you're using Facebook for professional reasons (up until recently, I had used it only as a reunion tool)? Perhaps a post on Facebook rules is in order!

2. Obviously, it's a bad idea to discuss colleagues, work, etc on a blog – but is there a limit to things such as use of bad language? Is the occasional vulgarity okay in context?

* * * * * * *
Good questions. And I think they are related. Don't waste peoples' time with stuff that is not interesting. So don't use Facebook in a way that starts feeling like jokes that people forward to co-workers. And don't use vulgar language when it is not truly descriptive. For example, he's an ****. If you put a swear word in there, I actually have very little infromation about the person except that you don't like him, so it's not that intersting a setence. Usually non-vulgar langauge is more interesting to use. That said, I use crappy and suck on this blog all the time.

–Penelope

The fact that there is so much negative commentary on Yahoo vs. this blog speaks to the impracticality of some of Ms. Trunk's advice. The readers on Yahoo (of which there are no doubt many more as compared to this blog) are more likely to be in mainstream business, while those who read this blog are more likely to work for more progressive organizations (if they work for anyone else at all).

I work for a nonprofit and I am very well regarded, but I would not just "tell" someone I am taking time off. At our place, we must ask. I also wouldn't presume to call co-workers on weekends, even though we do have a fairly flexible workplace.

More and more, I fear that Ms. Trunk simply makes up rules and touts them as common wisdom — take her post on an author's name: http://www.45things.com/labels/names.php

She actually posited that a difficult name would be detrimental to an author. There is no evidence or research to back this up, and I suspect is the case for much of her advice.

See, there's a slight difference between negative commentary and irrelevant commentary. Doug's lovely words up above me are a brilliant example.

Notice how there's no specific relation between the topic at hand and his opinion. It's impossible to discern whether or not he actually understands the points Penelope attempted to communicate because he doesn't talk about them. Instead he discredits her as being "stupid" and forestalls any disagreement with him by calling her supporters "sad" while simultaneously implying that we are gullible.

Doug also appears to disagree with the idea that one can be a professional beach volleyball player or at least seems to find the idea humorous. The denigration of Penelope's employment record is another means of discrediting her without actually rebutting any idea. It's a distraction. (I actually find the fact that Penelope is a former professional athlete to reinforce her authority on giving multi-career advice. It's evidence of her skill at parlaying one mode of experience into a completely different area of authority.)

It's completely fine to disagree with a person's opinions. It's also wonderful to provide counter-examples of areas where an argument fails. This is how progress is made. However, the frank dismissal of another's opinions without any attempt to recognize the content of those opinions is not productive.

Doug, I'm sorry that I had to use you as an example of bad commentary. I invite you to a reasoned rebuttal and welcome an explanation of your ideas.

I agree about some of the tips but not all of them.

"Just take time off" – this really depends on the work culture… my current employ supports this, but previous ones definitely did not. I believe my role is to be respectful of the environment, and their rules and them to be respectful of me in kind.

Interesting comment about "the offer to consult" upon leaving. The one time I did it, they took me up on it and found that the majority of my issues with the job were not experienced consulting for them. I strongly anticipate that this depends on the reasons for quitting, but if you actually would like to continue the work as a consultant, genuinely make the offer. You never know…

I'm not into the FaceBook thing that much (I unregistered) – more into blogging.

I don't think the rule to "not improve a co-worker" should be hard-and-fast – it depends on if there is actually a friendly 2-way relationship. I guess I chit-chat a lot more than others, but I don't rule out providing ideas and feedback but I don't look at it as trying to "improve" someone. Seems way to one-sided and looking down on others.

I totally don't agree about calling people over the weekend for work. Hey if you want to work over the weekend, either you have enough to do alrady or can figure that out before the weekend, right? Like at least one I work with, I definitely am not as much thinking about work over the weekend (well, sometimes I might but usually not the case).

I kind of think we should be nice in whatever we are doing – not just at work. I wish I could agree that others feel there's "nothing you can do except be nice back" though.

Maybe I need to clarify a bit.

A "heads up" is more than an email saying, "I'll be leaving at 3 today." Poke your head in my office, or give me a ring to say, "I will be out of the office on Wednesday at 3 PM, ok?" is a heads up. Doing it day of, without very good reason, or over email is immature.

This type of heads up will also give me the chance to tell my employee, "Wednesday is bad – we will have a client here. Will another day work?" if need be. Can't do that to an email at 2:45 PM.

You have got to be kidding me with this stuff. I am GenX myself, and have no idea where she is getting this stuff. It’s absolutely terrible. I would LOVE to see someone walk in to a company in Madison, WI, and do a single one of these little “nuggets”, and see how quickly they are handed a sturdy box with handles.

#1 – Exit interviews can do a lot more harm than good, but if you handle them correctly you can make it a HUGE plus, and ensure that your previous boss IS a new networking partner. Under no circumstances, should you decline the option to have one, or WORSE YET, offer to consult. I’m assuming that Ms. Trunk was outside smelling some wonderful WI dairy air when she thought that offering to consult would be a good idea. If a person has all of these wonderful ideas on how to improve a company, maybe that person should bring them up, you know, WHILE THEY ARE EMPLOYED THERE! To quit a company, and then turn around and offer to help make it better, to me, only proves that the person has already done so by quitting. Thanks for the offer; I’m sure that we’ll manage to survive without you.

#2 – Let me point out that I have a virtual office with a Fortune 50 company that has a culture that is predominately geared toward balance of life and flexible schedules. With all of that in mind, I STILL make it a point to clear it with the people in the corner offices before I step out for an afternoon, a day, or whatever it is. If nothing else, it lets your boss know that you are responsible, and it also gives him/her a way to reach you immediately, should s/he need to. One big thing to keep in mind for ANY GenY’er reading the “advice” from Ms. Turk, is that any effective communicator first understands his/her audience. If the GenY group don’t feel the need to ask, because “they are used to leading a completely transparent existence”, then that’s all well and good. Just remember that the people that are responsible for the GenY group getting a paycheck DON’T PRESCRIBE TO THAT AT ALL. When the GenY people are in leadership roles, then things will change. Right now, that’s not the case. So, always remember the golden rule: Those with the Gold, get to make the rules. If your boss expects you to ask for approval for time off, you can either ask for time off, or receive a whole lot of it…all at once. When you are the big boss in the corner office, you can run your office however you would like to, and then you get to try to track down 15 employees that are scattered to the wind in order to schedule an important, last minute meeting about a fire that just flared up.

#3 – This is just asinine. Ms. Turk, I would love to chat with you one day and find out why on God’s green earth, you think that wearing headphones and/or IM’ing all day at work would EVER be acceptable. Unless you are a radio DJ, or work in a recording studio, you should NEVER have headphones on during work.

#4 – I agree wholeheartedly.

#5 – Again, not a lot of need to beat this dead horse. You might have some WONDERFUL ideas. You may have some true insight into making an impact in your organization. Even if all of that were true, unless you work for a company with less than 100 people, your CEO does not want to be your friend. In fact, if they are on Facebook, I can say with some certainty, that they are looking to network with their contemporaries, NOT some junior person within their firm. I actually just attended a conference here in Chicago that had an international study of current college students and recent graduates (less than 2 years in the workforce), and they categorically stated that they would NOT want anyone from work contacting them, or even viewing their Facebook or MySpace sites. Ms. Turk, I’m not sure where you are getting your information that these are the rules for the “next generation”, but you may want to check your sources.

#6 – This isn’t a bad idea, at all, as long as it doesn’t come across as a negative thing. You also have to keep in mind that the information that you are receiving will be inherently biased. Unless you know very well someone that is already working for that boss, I would recommend that you merely temper whatever you hear.

#7 – So much for the team-work first mentality. Evidently Ms. Turk is a prescriber to the “team work only if it helps me” school of thought. What, pray-tell, should a Gen Y’er do when THEY are the brand new person to the team, and they need help to learn the ropes, get the big picture, and generally be mentored past the “I’m completely lost” stage that everyone (no matter your experience level) starts in when they join a new organization? GenY’ers don’t mentor people? They don’t help out the newbie? That’s going to be interesting, seeing that most of them ARE the newbie, and will continue to be for several years. Tell me again, how this is different for the Baby Boomers who are digging in their heels in order to keep THEIR rules in place? Notice that I only addressed the situation that entails business knowledge things, and not personality traits. I agree with her in that you can’t change someone’s personality. You can work to find an appropriate way to communicate with someone that you may consider a jerk, but that’s COMPLETELY different than trying to get a tiger to change its stripes.

#8 – I agree, but I would add that you should be under the impression that anything that a person blog’s is going to be read by the CEO and your parents. If a person considers those two things and are still OK with putting it out there, then by all means, go ahead. While it may be time-consuming to find that one blog in the haystack of 77 million, most companies do background checks, and most of those now check for blogs, and what you put out there may come back to haunt you.

#9 – Maybe if a person didn’t leave whenever the heck they wanted to, and didn’t work with one ear on their work and the other in their headphones, they would be able to actually get all of their work done between Monday and Friday. There are exceptions to this. As one person stated, senior staff will want to be contacted with major fires that may need to be put out. I have also left a text message or a quick VM to confirm an early meeting on Monday morning, or something like that. Anything else will be further evidence that you are not able to separate personal life with professional life, and THAT’S a red flag with an employee.

#10 – I again agree absolutely with this one.

Your comments on Yahoo were in my opinion short sighted, arrogant and patronising to anyone who has spent more than an hour in the real world. Stop and think about the advice you are giving. You have a responsibility if you are published and read to give good advice and to promote a positive attitude towards work. What you said bordered on the immature and the bratish.
Some impressionable people will be held back by this seed you could have planted. Shame.

Also, do not dismiss the comments that are being made or delude youself that this is an group attack, many of the comments were made by people who have not posted before, like myself. The numbers dont lie. First rule of business.

Now after reading all the comments posted here,
I'm not sure if I am more shocked by Penelope's
appalling advice, or the fact that blogger "James"
Considers Penelope to be more of a Life Coach"
than a financial advice. If I thought that Penelope trunk was my "life coach", I would apply for free agency- or start running illegal dogfights to get me kicked out of the league for good. Seriously James, if you think that Penelope is your Life coach, then my only advice for you is- step away from the edge and don't jump!

I apoligize for a couple typos…I don't usually write when annoyed…but in this case I was…

I believe this article is absolutely soaking with self-righteous, self-important advice. Let me make a few things clear before I get into any more detail. I am 23 years old, a new member of the workforce, and I love my job.

Ms. Trunk's advice gives my generation a bad name, and I believe (thankfully) that most young people are smart enough not to heed her suggestions. People go to work because they are paid to do a job. When a person applies for and accepts a job, it is assumed that he or she wants the job. That job will and should be on the employer's terms, to which that employee HAS AGREED. It is selfish for an employee of Generation Y to think that he or she has enough knowledge and skills to make it OK for him or her to dictate office etiquette that suits his or her own wants and desires, rather than those of the company and co-workers.

I think it is evident from reading the majority of Yahoo! comments that 90+% of workplaces do not function in a way that allows Ms. Trunk's suggested behavior. I am not denying that these tips are perfectly fine for business professionals in certain environments or certain companies, but I think it is imprudent to offer these nuggets of advice when numerous others have confirmed that following them will hinder rather than help young professionals in most workplaces.

As Ms. Trunk is not a member of Generation Y, I dearly wish that she would stop writing about how that generation thinks and acts. It is volatile to write an article such as the above without clearly thinking through the harmful consequences that likely could and would result from following the proffered advice.

Ms Trunk, you are doing your young sycophants a great disservice by providing this sort of "advice". You may not like or appreciate the Boomers or Gen Xers, but they are the bosses today. They provide jobs for people who want to work. They are not doing anyone a favor by providing them that job. You work for them, they do not work for you.

The idea, for instance, that you should be able to leave whenever you want for as long as you want without first getting clearance from the boss, flies in the face of adult reponsibility. Other people depend on you doing your job, when you are supposed to be doing your job. Coworkers, internal and external customers, management plan their activities around everyone doing what they've been hired to do, when they are supposed to be doing it. To simply leave whenever you feel like it is disrepsectful to all those who depend on you. Do this enough and you will be fired and replaced with someone more trustworthy and dependable.

To follow every piece of advice in this column would result in a great number of Gen Yers being unemployed. Perhaps you should actually get a job at any number of corporations and try this little experiment yourself and see how long you keep that job.

Imagine being scheduled for surgery only to find out at the last minute that the surgeon decided to go diving in Aruba that morning. Or calling the police to discover the cop that handles your neighborhood decided he wanted to go hang out at the beach that day.

This is some of the most irresponsible dribble I have ever read. The young people who think so highly of you should understand that they will, most likely, remain unemployed if this is how they choose to conduct their professional life. I, for one, would not hesitate to fire someone who told me they would be gone without first scheduling it with me. I need people I can depend on, not some immature manchild who thinks they can act anyway they want and get away with it.

I have never read a yahoo article before today, but the title of your article caught my eye. I am NOT a conservative, I work for a non-profit, and spent a number of years in the theatre world (for which death is the only excuse for not showing up). I am saddened by the lack of quality in this public discourse, and will try to share my views without insults or name-calling.
The reason I read your article was because I have had several encounters with young workers (both as a co-worker and as a customer) that were not positive, in fact they were frustrating and angering and I was hoping to gain insight. Now I know. I, and it appears many others, will never understand your "tips" because they are so outside the realm of reality (the reality that we must all survive in) and the strong reaction you received was not "angry" but, perhaps, frustrated. We, the majority, have learned to work in a world that IS truthful. That is why there are so many rules and expectations and ETIQUETTE. Because the world is filled with people from different generations, and cultures and abilities and deficits, and we ALL have to work together with as little strife as possible, and the best way to do that is NOT to come into an existing culture and assume that whatever YOU feel is the right way, but to rely on rules and etiquette to make these differences easier to manage. I think we all need to be more patient with each other, both "old" & young. But to disregard the basic respect of someone who is either your boss or your co-worker under the guise of living "transparently" is wrong. I honestly think less transparency is called for. Really, the best advice I could give a young worker is this: We all have something to offer (old or young) and be gracious, be kind, be sympathetic, be hard working, but most of all be grateful. Grateful for all that you have; including a job were the boss understands that we can all be "jerks" sometimes.

"The comments from Yahoo"? You mean, the comments from a much broader cross section of the American workforce. The comments that do not come from your fawning, young, inexperienced, starry eyed fans? The comments that tell the truth about what it is truly like in corporate America? Ms Trunk, if your true intent is to sabotage the younger workers so the older workers may prosper, then you are doing an excellent job. If you think that your "advice" is going to help them advance in the corporate world, then you need to set foot into the world that the rest of us live in and discover just how out of touch you really are.

Penelope and your young readers,

I am neither antiquated nor invalid and I will NEVER be obsolete in the multi-million dollar business I founded. I can tell you that many of your young readers however, will never be a viable player in my organization.

My typical employee earns 20-25% more than others in their chosen career and they are treated with the utmost respect and dignity. This above market salary however does bring additional expectations. I, therefore demand the same considerations to be afforded to my management staff. There IS a hierarchy in my company and it exists for a reason. This organizational structure will be adhered to or an individual will work elsewhere. I am truly sorry if our work schedule interfers with social aspects my employee's life. Frankly that is why most occupations are referred to as "work" not "play."

Time for many of your readers to grow up and become adults. College days are over and it is now time to meet responsibilities IF you want to join the work force. If not, then I hope MOM and DAD have the means to financially support your immature lifestyle!!

What I say may not be popular, but it certainly is truthful!!

NOW QUIT SURFING THE NET AND GET TO WORK. ODDS ARE YOU ARE WASTING YOUR EMPLOYERS TIME, RESOURCES AND MONEY AT THIS VERY MOMENT!!

Charles Knight

There are things that you wished were true and things that simply are. One is a fantasy, the other reality. Mz Trunk is dealing in a fantasy world. Reality is that leaving when you wish paints you as untrustworthy, undependable and inconsiderate. Reality is wearing headphones all day paints you as immature and self absorbed. Reality is calling people at home during their off time is rude, insensitive and invasive. Reality is inviting the CEO to be your 'friend' is immature and unrealistic. I work for a $18 billion company. Doing these things will, at the very least, keep you from advancing, at the worst, they will get you fired. Mz Trunk is not doing you any favors by offering these "tips".

Dear Penelope,

In response to your article I am thanking you for your great advice. To be honest I've be scarred since leaving my last job at Ayres Suites Hotels in Diamond Bar, California. My friend died from cancer back in September 2003 and when I "asked" 3 days in advance for time off to go to his funeral my boss said no. So, on the day of the funeral I called in sick. The next day I showed up for work and was shocked to read a nasty letter from my manager demanding a doctor's note. When my boss showed up to work she made several offensive comments and told me I was suspended indefinitely. So I quit.

I will quality myself as being older and in the software arena working in a more defined environment. For me and many others who work in like companies you do not take time off without setting it up ahead of time (we are talking days, for hours you are a professional – days may affect others you are not aware of so you may get a warning the first time and be gone the second. Note: If you are invaluable to the company you should be gone anyhow. An invaluable employee is setting yourself up for trouble.) As far as the exit interview goes, do it if you expect to use any of the people for references.

Penelope, I will admit I left a harsh remark on the Yahoo comments page, but after reading it over and over…I still feel the same way. Whether or not it makes you "happy" at work to try the 10 tips above is irrelevant. If everyone did what made them "happy", the world would be a terrible place to live in. I am a student in college and all I see left and right is this trend to "rebel" against conformity. Screw your boss, yeah! Suck up to him and when he hires you, ditch the exit interview because he realizes you are a terrible employee. It's not what you are writing that's wrong, it's your intentions. Plus you completely contradict your own tips…Don't try to improve your co-workers… so you wouldn't give them this column to read? Everyone should try to improve their fellow peers. That doesn't mean you will have an effect on them, but you should as least try. As for the unemployed/don't-work-for-a-real-company/nerds with no social skills except on a computer people that have positive comments to say, I say this, please continue to give good comments so there will be plenty of employment for everyone and it will make your unprofessional job seem hip and up to date. I don't think you are a bad writer Trunkie, but this article is not your best.

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Hi, Michael. I totally agree with you that we should all try to help each other improve. I think these tips are consistent with that. To let people be their best selves we need to take away workplace constraints that do not focus on results. We each work best in different ways. We need a workplace that acknowleges that a wide range of workstyles can succeed and we don't need paternalistic rules to force everyone to do things "the boss's way".

-Penelope

number 2. Don’t ask for time off, just take it.

errr are your realy sure that such good advice ok if you have a self directed hours job ( as i used to at BT I more of less decided what hours I worked.

But just taking time off mm could be risky even more so in the USA

Your kidding, right? You should change the name of this article to "10 Things That Will Get You Fired."

I wholeheartedly disagree with not asking for time off. Especially for a few days! If you are the CEO, maybe, but even then informing is the polite thing to do! In this economic climate are you crazy???