All good points. Here’s another that will only apply occasionally — the issue of smoothing over hard feelings between your old employer and your new one.

I recently quit one job I liked after another company in the same industry came knocking with an offer to good to pass up.

Everyone in this industry in this city knows each other and at one time or another needs to work together or cooperate in some way.

Part way through the announcing-I’m-leaving process it became apparent that I needed to take some of the “blame” for my leaving as the partnership at the old company was sounding really annoyed that this other company poached me — to the point of it damaging long term relationships.

Hard feelings seemed to lessen when I reminded them that I still made the decision to go — that it was the right “business” decision for me professionally, and that I would have left the company soon anyway as I’d exhausted career advancement possibilities there.

So that’s my other tip: strategize on not creating enemies for the new company if you quit for a new opportunity.

Good points. A few things I have found in practice…

1) Don’t just drop a letter on the boss’s desk. Tell the boss face to face that you are leaving and only write a letter if they require it. If you just walk in and drop the letter bomb, it may explode in your face. In my case, the boss read my short letter, then called me in to his office and said, “Well, you know my reaction when I read this is to say, ‘F— You!’ You can gather your belongings and get the hell out of my office.” But…it turned out that he was just telling me his initial reaction and from there we talked about it and in the end, it worked out amicably, if you can believe it. But it could have easily been otherwise. Give the boss the courtesy you expect for yourself.

2) job hopping is still a negative issue that raises red flags in interviews. Despite statistics and anecdotal stories about Gen XY trying lots of things and that is all expected and such, the reality is that if you have a resume with 6 jobs in 10 years, interviewers want to know what is wrong with you. It was less an issue 5 years ago in Silicon Valley, but today, on the East Coast, at least, I know that any job lasting less than a year is suspicious. It takes at least 3 months for a new person to even start to contribute anything of value to a company, so if you are quitting after 9 months, then you wasted their time. On the other hand, if you go someplace and it is a living hell, then get out right away and you can explain it or leave it off the resume entirely. But 9-12 months at a job means you didn’t fit and they probably wasted a lot of time figuring that out.

3) to add to the “get out before it gets bad” thread, get out before you start doing stupid stuff. Nothing is worse than hanging around, bored with the routine, until you start to fail to even get the easy stuff right. Then you find yourself on a divergent expectation path where you are bored and underchallenged and your boss thinks you are incompetent.

Penelope, It All Depends. I left a job voluntarily in the middle of January. I left for money, to get back to writing, and because I was afraid of the man I worked for: he had a habit of losing his temper and going into near-incoherent rages.

I walked into his office and handed him a two-sentence letter. He acted shocked. His main issue was that I gave him nine days notice instead of the “customary” two weeks–this even though there was nothing to do and even though 69 of my colleagues had just been terminated and 50 more would follow me.

When I left he did not even wish me goodbye let alone well.

Not exactly the guy I’d want for a reference, y’think?

BTW, if you remember me, I am not one of those 20-something careerist types who leaves a job every year to advance myself. I am a 60-something type who a document from a subsequent employer proving age discrimination. I’m still doing this only to make the GD alimony.

As I read this at work today, a friend looking over my shoulder noticed the title. He burst out laughing, knowing my dissatisfaction with the job recently. Then he asked that I forward it to him. So much for the boss being the first to know . . .

great points.
I quit my job a few months ago and I definitely made sure I left the door open. Why would you unnecessarily burn your bridges?

I see there are also examples here of leaving hated employers. No point in burning those bridges, either. Just becasue someone’s a jerk doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk back. And, you never know what someone will be like in another context. Maybe you’ll be friendly later on.

When you give your two-week notice, be aware that you may get fired immediately. It has happened to me a few times, so much for being
nice about it. The employers always said that it is best to cut the
ties immediately, rather than having the old employee hang around.

So one should not give notice unless their desk is neat and everything is spotless.

I once had an ex-employer attempt to sue me. His charges were ridiculous and nothing ever came of them. But I did learn some lessons from it.

My problem at work it not the boss but about 75% of the people that I work with have been trying to get me fired and they also put all the work on me. They come and tell me a bunch of ridiculous things that I said. They are all nice to you one moment and then the next you’re being complained about something that you supposedly did or didn’t do. I know many people who had this problem even my own parents. There is so much gossip there and they’re always talking about who got fired and who did this, I think you understand.

You are right that your boss should know first what’s going on or that can cause a lot of problems. It’s always good to leave your job not angry but relieved that you don’t have to work there anymore if the environment isn’t healthy. The people you work with can’t be 100% trustworthy and I had to learn that the hard way.

I do regret applying for that job in the first place. I called up my mother and my friends and they said that it wasn’t right for me. I should of just taken their advice in the first place and now I regret it.

Note: my first time ever posting a message

Everywhere I read, I am told “never tell the boss you are looking for another job!” But, I feel I do need to tell him before the traditional 2 weeks, maybe before the 30 day mark..

I love my job and I am loyal to my boss. That is why it is important that I give my boss ample notice that I am planning on leaving. There will be a lot to prepare for when I’m gone.

Please tell me your thoughts on my situation. My goal in this post is to find out “how” to tell her, when and what exactly to say.

These are the reasons I want to let my boss know I am going to be leavening soon.

*It would be very difficult for the whole institute if I was to leave with only 2 weeks notice. I help keep things running smoothly and a lot of clients emotionally depend on me.

*I want to help my workplace prepare for when I’m gone because it will be hard for them to find a replacement with the (low) salary offered (the very reason I am leaving).

*My boss has been my mentor and has always taken me under-her-wing. I would not feel right, just “up-and-leaving” with giving her mental preparation.

When I was promoted to this position, I accepted a salary that was less than I wanted. I did this because I wanted the management title and experience. In conversations with my boss, I expressed that I was unsatisfied with my salary and my limited prospects to get it to a higher level In these conversation, I have said (maybe twice) “I won’t be here forever. At some point, I will move on….”. We both knew, at that time I wasn’t looking for another job.

But now, that “move-on” point has come. I am presently preparing my resume and researching, how I am going to find my “dream job” with a reasonable salary. This job was my first professional / management position. I want bigger and better now.

I believe my problem is I am worried about leaving my mentor scrambling to keep things together once I go.

My biggest mistake – I admit- has been that I have said in passing to some of my friend / subordinates and co-workers in other departments, that I am “now on the job market” and ” if you know of any openings let me know…” (Breaking rule #1: don’t tell anyone you work with you are going to quit) Have I already sunk the ship by telling these people?

In hind-sight this was very stupid and I am concerned that my boss may get wind of it. I don’t want my boss to find out from anyone but me. She knows I am stressed and underpaid. She has shown concern about my stress level.

Should I tell her in one of our conversations that I am preparing my resume and preparing to going on interviews?

I really want to maintain a good relationship with her after I leave. I feel her mentorship would be very useful and I want to stay in contact. Plus, I could really use a outstanding professional letter of reference from her.

I already know that I must immediately stop letting people know that I am looking for another job. But what do I do now? Should I tell her? How? And when? How do I ask for a letter of reference under these circumstances?

Please give me your thoughts….

* * * * * * *

Here are really important rules for quitting:

Penelope

Here’s my tip to avoiding the dreaded (and tricky waters) of the exit interview. I write a thank you note instead of a resignation. There’s no need to do an exit interview with someone who is so grateful, now is there? Then in “the talk,” if there is an issue the boss wants to confront (say, “You’re getting more money, aren’t you?) it’s much easier to be polite and courteous when you’ve just vibed some good thankin’.

all good points!

i have quit jobs in the past and made it a point not to burn bridges. i need references and the possibility of going back to a previous employer is always open.