How much money buys happiness? A wide body of research suggests the number is approximately forty thousand dollars a year. Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University, says once you have enough money to meet basic needs – food, shelter, but not necessarily cable —incremental increases have little effect on your happiness.
Aaron Karo, comedian and author of the forthcoming book, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, responds to the number with, “If you want to draw a line in the sand, happiness is having enough money so you don’t have to move back in with your parents."
To someone who just spent four years in college living off nine-thousand-dollar loan stipends, an increase to forty thousand means a lot – moving from poverty to middle class. But it’s a one-time rush. After you hit the forty-thousand-dollar-range money never gives you that surge in happiness again.
Twentysomethings who are looking for happiness from their careers will benefit from research about their parents’ choices. Richard Easterlin, professor of economics at University of Southern California says previous generations have proven that our desires adjust to our income. “At all levels of income, the typical response is that one needs 20% more to be happy." Once you have basic needs met, the axiom is true: more money does not make more happiness.
So then one asks, what does matter? The big factors in determining happiness levels are satisfaction with your job and social relationships. And in case you found yourself slipping back to thoughts of salary, according to Easterlin, “How much pleasure people get from their job is independent of how much it pays."
Unfortunately, people are not good at picking a job that will make them happy. Gilbert found that people are ill equipped to imagine what their life would be like in a given job, and the advice they get from other people is bad, (typified by some version of “You should do what I did.")
Gilbert recommends going into a career where people are happy. But don’t ask them if their career makes them happy, because most people will say yes; they have a vested interest in convincing themselves they are happy. Instead, try out a few different professions before you settle on one. For college students, Gilbert envisions this happening with part-time jobs and internships at the cost of “giving up a few keggers and a trip to Florida over spring break." But even if you wait until you enter the workforce, it makes sense to switch from one entry-level job to another; no seniority and scant experience means you have little to lose. So it’s an ideal time to figure out what will make you happy: Use a series of jobs to observe different professions at close range to see if YOU think they make people happy.
It’s simple, proven advice, but few people take it because they think they are unique and their experience in a career will be different. Get over that. You are not unique, you are basically just like everyone else. Gilbert can, in the course of five minutes, rattle off ten reasons why people think they are unique but they are not. For example: We spend our lives finding differences between people to choose teachers, band mates and spouses, so our perception of peoples’ differences is exaggerated… And then Gilbert gets to grapes: “If you spend seven years studying the differences between grapes, no two will look the same to you, but really a grape is a grape."
So your first step is to stop thinking you’re a special case. Take Gilbert’s advice and choose a career based on your assessment of other people in that career. You next step is to focus on social relationships, because in terms of happiness, job satisfaction is very important but social relationships are most important.
And by social relations, most researchers mean sex – with one, consistent partner. So consider giving your career aspirations a little less weight than you give your aspirations for sex. For those of you who like a tangible goal, David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College says, “Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness. And then the diminishing returns begin to set in." He adds, to the joy of all who are underemployed, “It’s true that money impacts which person you marry, but money doesn’t impact the amount of sex you have."
Maybe all this research simply justifies the twentysomething tendency to hold a series of entry-level jobs and put off having children. Says Karo: “All we really want is to get paid and get laid."










So asexuals can't be happy?
Posted by Tiara on 08/03/2006 at 06:24pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I think the happiness researchers would say that we are all born with a tendency to be more or less happy. Optimists, for example, are happier than pessimists. And, probably, in general, asexuals are not as happy as people with a more average sex drive.
Posted by Penelope Trunk on 08/03/2006 at 11:37pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Great post, P. Thanks!
Posted by Mike Duffy on 08/05/2006 at 05:37pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
hehehe I guess it depends on your definition of asexual.
There's
"asexual because you don't want to have sex"
and then there's
"asexual because nobody wants to have sex with YOU" :D
Depending on how one ended up as an "asexual", happiness is seriously affected.
Anyway… You'd be surprised how many things would never get done and how many industries would collapse without sex as a motivating factor. You'd also be surprised how many guys make a lot of money, then stand around at the bar, envious of the guys that are "pulling the chicks".
As far as a consistent partner, I suppose there are a lot of guys that take pride (happiness) in the fact that they got one chick to have sex with them multiple times. I guess you can say that monogamy… or at least the ability to create and maintain a monogamous relationship to one chick could be a source of happiness for a guy. However, there's also the "been there, done that, got the T-shirt" of monogamy, so there's also happiness in "serial monogamy" or other flirtatious behavior. :D
At the end of the day, there needs to be something that made it worthwhile for you to waste your entire day getting money. That might be your 60" Samsung television…….
Posted by Bill C. on 12/22/2006 at 10:00am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Bill – You pose a few interesting questions with regard to "pride (happiness) in the fact 'guys' got one chick to have sex with them multiple times" and "serial monogamy" however, I don't think happiness (subjective well being) is equal to "pride".
Regarding serial monogamy David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald, "Money, Sex and Happiness: An Empirical Study," (2004) clearly states that the optimal number of partners over the course of their study was one (1). This seems to rule-out serial monogamy.
Posted by Robert on 01/18/2007 at 12:37pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Penelope,
I can't agree more with the statement that the only way money can make you happy is if you have enough to meet you basic needs, and after that it has no effect. In American society today, the richest people seem to be among the most famous. As a result, the American public is left thinking money will get them stardom. And it also seems that most people associate stardom with being happy, and most people want to be happy.
Gary
* * * *
Right, Gary. This is a great opening for me to link the research about how seeking fame actually makes people unahppy — whether they get it or not.
-Penelope
Posted by Gary on 02/02/2007 at 06:33pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Yes, it is true that relationships are important, but one of the biggest causes of Divorce is money and lack of it. When is fourty thousand a year everything to survive of of? When one has a family of 3 children that is not enough to survive off of. Most parents have a inside depression, because not only could they not give there children the life they couldn't have, but they can even give them the life they had growing up! Get real. Money is very high on the list of important things. Money isn't the Objects its the choices one with money gets to make. It is the situations that are handled with money. What happens when one loses there job? If they can't get a new one with in 3 months are they losing there home? This and many more are situations where money is not just an object. It's not vain to want to have the freedom to make choices the rich do!
* * * * * *
Murrell,
When I first started reading all this research, I thought the same things you are thinking. So I read more about the research. And I found that the studies about money and happiness are widespread and conclusive: When people make $100,000 they still fear losing a job, they still get divorced over money. It is true with people who make a million dollars a year. Becuase we never stop having those worries. Reserach shows that people think their money problems will be solved if they earn 20% more, no matter how much they earn.
Most of our problems in life stem from out outlook, not our financial situation. Optimists are happier no matter how much money they have. Pessimists are sadder no matter how much money they have.
You ask good questions in your comment. I hope that my response makes you ask more questions.
-Penelope
Posted by murrell on 02/05/2007 at 11:05pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I think that money does buy happiness in my point if of view because I grew up not so rich so for the many people that experienced having money and grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth would tend to say money is not every thing or money would not buy happiness I think that idea relate to the situation person is in. As if for me if I had money I would have no stress on college or hear my father talk about how we are making it barely and that not doing so well in our educational life is not an option because my whole family depends on it .And as to the idea that having sex can some what releases some of the pressure of that particular moment however it does not tend to fix the situation because their financial struggle would still remain, And that having sex is not always the way to deal with stress.
* * * * * *
Hi, Wala. One of the important pieces of the research about money and happiness is that you need to start with $40,000 a year. This is because worrying about the basics is too stressful for anyone to be happy.
And about sex: The sex once a week isn't a gauge of happiness becasue sex makes someone happy. It's a gauge becuase of all the things that need to be in place in your life in order to have sex once a week with a consistent partner. You need a stable relationship, you need to be close and loving, and you need to make time for eachother. These things, more than the act itself, I think, are what make researchers say consistent sex leads to happiness.
-Penelope
Posted by Wala Alzobier on 02/05/2007 at 11:13pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have a similar view. I don't think that money necessarily buys happiness but i definitely think that it is highly included in ones happiness. Just like Wala I would be much happier if i didn't have to work to pay bills and i could just work because the love of doing it. Money i believe depends on who has it; some people can spend thousands of dollars on one item where as i would spend a thousand dollars on multiple items and for not only myself. I am pretty happy with my life but the main part that makes me unhappy is the stresses about money. I can't do a single thing without thinking over and over if i can afford it, if its worth it or will i save money. And on the subject of sex, well i agree that it is a activity that brings happiness but at the same time it depends on who your having sex with why your having sex with them, if there are emotions involved and how you feel about yourself before after and during sex. Sex can only really measure happiness once you have already had sex, obviously if you've never had sex you don't know what happiness you are or arent missing out on
Posted by Mary- coun 109 on 10/07/2009 at 03:25pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I am sorry to say that the research just does not support the last two posts. Lack of money is not one of the biggest causes of divorce. Richard Easterlin economist at USC illustrates that people have unrealized expectations that may lead to dissatisfaction. Another reason that people are dissatisfied and choose divorce may be that many individuals are "maximizers" and are never satisfied with their situation because they are always comparing themselves to others.
Jonathan Haidt of the University of Virginia goes to great lengths in his book, "The Happiness Hypothesis" explaining our lack of objectivity when evaluating ourselves. This lack of objectivity may lead to a sense of moral righteousness and reduce reciprocity, which is critical for healthy relationships to flourish.
* * * * * *
Robert,
Thank you for your comment. I think you misread a bit — I didn't say lack of money leads to divorce.
I really like the other reasearch you cite. Right up my alley. In fact, one of the reasons I left New York City is that it caters to maximizer thinking.
Penelope
Posted by Robert on 02/05/2007 at 11:53pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I concur… I recently went up in salary from 22k a year to 37k a year and I noticed that I was much happier as a result. However it was becuase I felt an equilibrium in the amount of bills vs. income. As my salary went on up past 40k I thought it was funny I didn't even take notice of the increase. It made me no more happier. Soon my work got boring to me and monotonous. After I realized that I was working so hard on a job that I didn't even like any more, I went back to the job that paid 22k because that was where I had fun being the best at what I did. I am much happier, and my wife and I have more time for each other, which in turn is a much more true and long lasting happiness than the previous job or money could ever yield.
Posted by Doug on 02/06/2007 at 11:30pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
All I know is that, having gone to law school and been around a lot of big firm lawyers, including my boyfriend (whose starting salaries range from 100K to 150K), money does NOT make people happy. You would think that poor law students who get a huge jump in salary would be estatic. And they are estatic, for the first 6 months max, then it is pure MISERY.
I have friends on antidepressants, drinking too much, etc you name it, and these are people making close to 200K or more! If you do some research, you will find that most big firm lawyers are really miserable and most new associates at a big firm stay an average of 2-3 years. I myself worked at a big firm for a summer, and though I made a lot of money, one summer was all I needed to realize that working 70-90 hours a week to save some big client from paying out money, was NOT for me!
As for my boyfriend, he left his big form job after 3 years and took a pay cut from 200K to 60K and he has never been happier, and our relationship is so much better. I know it is because he loves his life and new job, and thus his personal relationships, with me and his friends and family have improved (because now he can actually SEE us regularly). So I firmly believe gobs of money do NOT create happiness.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to make more money, but I think that one's outlook, attitude, relationships and so forth are way more important. And it is very important to find a job that makes you HAPPY. People might think that that is a "namby-pamby hippie" way of looking at things, but I firmly believe that if you do what you were meant to do, you will be more succesful than if you do what you don't like. Because you are not constantly shooting yourself in the foot!
And just to respond to Gary C, alot of stars are NOT happy. Why do you think they are always doing drugs? What ends up happening is that they make all this money and then are surprised that they are not fulfilled or happy. Then they turn to drugs etc for fulfillment or to dull the pain.
I also agree that really rich people divorce because of money to, just like regular people. Once basic needs are met however, the answer may not be more money, it may be their attitudes and expectations about money. Ie that money will make them happy, or save their marraige or make their kids love them and so forth,
Posted by Valerie on 02/07/2007 at 04:26pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Right, yet perhaps we use money and wealth as a means of making ourselves unique. If we are all clouded with inescapable similarity and no one is really all that different, doesn't a new BMW both define and make "bob" a unique man?
Also, possessions in our commercial society are representative of "time spent" at our specific vocations. The urge to gain more past bare bone necesities is the desire to be different when we are all DOING the same thing: waking up, going to work, eating, sleeping, procreating.
Its a complex equation and the common denominator is the fact that we are pack animals, emulating, living and working together. When we look to define ourselves we look toward two man aspects of our lives: vocation and wealth. Since all we need (as cited above) is 4k, then humans look toward promoting their individualism through capitalism, yet we can never dominate it. Why not be distinct peacocks within our own carbon copy worlds? Because there will always be someone richer, faster, smarter, prettier and more charismatic than you.
-mike
Posted by Mike on 02/09/2007 at 08:23am | permalink | Reply to this comment
i believe that money is not everything to make you happy. Many people have great careers, earning a lot of money than anyone else yet, they are the most miserable people on earth especially if they are bachelors or "old-maid". From workplace, they go home all alone and no companion w/c means to say, lack of social relations. Thus, no sexlife. And believe me, these are the people who are very hard to deal with. They usually have bad temper and most of them, are not open-minded. And most of all, it's hard to get along with this kind of people.
on the other hand, i find those people who are earning enough to make both ends meet, have a loving and supportive family at home, very productive. These are the people who have "life" after office hours. And i can say that they are the fulfilled and happy people on earth.
Posted by arlene b dineros on 02/28/2007 at 02:29pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
…following our own advice, are we, friend?
Posted by Lisa Takeuchi Cullen on 03/18/2007 at 03:44pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
If you ever run across research on sexual frrequency among adults by age, I'd love to see it.
I do know that almost every day, I give thanks for the passion my wife and I share, and laugh at the thought I had when my parents were the age Christine and I are now. I assumed that if they had sex, it was on some strange and infrequent impulse, or perhaps after a drink more than usual.
To your happiness. . .
Posted by Harry Beckwith on 03/20/2007 at 05:26pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I definitely agree with the article and comments here how more $ does not make you happier and in many ways actually makes you unhappy when you realize it didn't give you the great feeling you thought it would (unrealistic expections). I feel you need to have the right view towards $ where it will give you physcial comfort and options that you didn't have before, but it will NOT define your attitude, create real long-lasting relationships with people and give you emotional comfort that is only reached by achieving your dreams and aspirations.
I actually find it appropriate to quote Donald trump in that "Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game." In this case, that game being life. Enjoy it, live it!
Posted by Buster on 03/22/2007 at 04:51pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
How Much Money Do I Need to Be Happy?
All of it.
Posted by Dominic on 04/19/2007 at 12:20pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
More money = more happiness…….yes and no.
In my opinion, the reason most studies do not show a significant increase in happiness (although the Pew Research Center's study "Are We Happy Yet?" Feb 2006, does show a significant increase) is because studies are dealing with averages. The truth is, the average person spends any increase in wealth on consumption which we quickly adjust to.
I love the quote in the "Happiness Hypothesis" which says, "those who think money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop."
He is referring to how the "average" person spends their additional income on "things" which may, in fact make people LESS HAPPY. For Example People spend additional earnings on big houses in the suburbs which require longer commutes (in traffic) and more time in the office to make ends meet.
It would be better to spend additional earnings on longer vacations with families where, low and behold, people have more SEX!
Rob
Posted by Rob Schneiderman on 04/19/2007 at 02:34pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
More money makes you feel more at ease, because you don't have to worry about the big dog taking advantage of you, but it also shows you that there can be some creative individuals out there that would try their best to take advantage of you as well. As for the sex, well it all depends on an indivudual. Once upon a time, I would have though my enchanting world would be over if I didn't have any, so I had as much as I could. Now, I can take it or leave it, I hope that I can have so much money one day so I can say, I can take it or leave it.
* * * * * *
Regina, the sex=happiness thing isn't really about the sex. It's about the consistency. Same partner, each week, every week. It means you set up your life so that you are close to someone who is dependable and you make it a priority to tend to the relatinship. The sex is a red herring.
-Penelope
Posted by Regina on 05/03/2007 at 10:23am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I completely agree with the central thesis of this discussion. Our capitalist society is totally geared toward consumption. Buying is the economic engine of our economy. To keep the consumption fires burning, marketers have to sell the notion that you must buy to be happy. They sell us on a lifestyle of happiness based on having their products. The credit industry is also right there to make sure you have available money even when you can't really afford it. In reality, they are selling us on some rather dysfunctional thinking and behaviors, none of which bring real happiness.
True, basic needs need to be met. Not having food shelter and health care is serious. Educating your children is critical. I might argue that the actual $40k figure doesn't work in the more expensive cities in our country, but the point is still valid. Our society simply doesn't value the idea that beyond a certain point you have "enough." These scientists are really onto something here. They are saying that beyond "enough" there is no real added satisfaction from getting more money. I appreciate this forum as it's rare to find people embracing this idea. Set your goals reasonably, write them down, meet them, and then LIVE. Live through relationships, family, hobbies and those values that improve you and bring real peace. Don't let the endless bombardment of advertising and social pressure convince you otherwise.
* * * * * * *
Hi, Al. Thanks for a good summary of the discussion here.
Re: more expensive cities. I have lived in LA on $200,000/yr no kids, no mortgage. I have lived in NYC on $40K/yr with two kids. My happiness levels weren't different. The thing that mattered in terms of happiness is that I'm a really optimisitic person. The things that make me sad, like fights with my husband or not getting exercise, happen indepdently of money. It was hard to live around so many people who had more money than we did. That is what is most difficult about earning $40K in NYC: The comparison.
The idea that $40K does not work in an expensive city is sort of an elitist idea. Macaroni and cheese for dinner and oatmeal for breakfast is basically the same — very cheap– in Kentucky or San Francisco. The cost of living differences are mostly about rent and non-essential items. And you can pay rent on a cheap place in an epensive city with $40K/year. I will write more about this later. But a little now…..
–Penelope
Posted by Al on 05/03/2007 at 07:38pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Penelop,
Thanks for your response. Perhaps I overstated my point a bit. I TOTALLY agree with you. My only point was that even the lowest of rents in NYC will be more expensive than the lowest of rents in WI. But you're right. You can make it work anywhere.
But it doesn't really matter. The central point of this research seems to be that WE make happiness for ourselves beyond a fairly basic level of income. The trap is thinking that the happiness COMES FROM the money or can't be found WITHOUT higher levels of income. I'm really excited to see data like this being highlighted in blogs and columns. It is just not the kind of message that you get from mainstream media.
Please do right more about The Comparison factor. I'd be very interested in your experiences around social pressure (both spoken and UNspoken) in your various homes. Also, how long have you been in WI? What has your experience been so far?
Many thanks for this discussion…
Posted by Al on 05/04/2007 at 09:11am | permalink | Reply to this comment
"A wide body of research suggests the number is approximately forty thousand dollars a year."
$40,000 per year!!?? Not in the NYC Metro Area where that wouldn't even be enough to pay for a small apartment, groceries and a modest car loan. What I'd like to know is who makes this stuff up and how much do THEY get paid?
Posted by Jerry on 05/08/2007 at 01:34pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Hi Penelope,
I live in the Bay Area in California, which most people know is an expensive place to live, and make close to $40K year. I have a one-bedroom apartment and live on a budget, yet some months still struggle to make ends meet. I'm just curious to know the details of how you lived off 40K a year in New York with 2 kids. I want details, not generalities; I'm truly curious.
* * * * * *
It was very very hard. Here are some details.
We could only read the Sunday New York Times online because buying it was too expensive.
We could only get the kids one spring jacket, so it had to be a raincoat, and they wore the raincoats some days when it was not raining.
My husband and I didn't have the right clothes for family events sometimes and had to wear the wrong thing.
We never, ever threw out food.
We couldn't afford a new vacuum cleaner so we wiped the floor by hand until we had extra money for a broom.
I could go on for ten pages. It's hundreds of little things — some more painful than others. The hardest thing was not living on $40,000. It was not finding anyone else who was doing it in our neighborhood. That was lonely. The real issue is how much do the people around you make.
Posted by sara on 05/08/2007 at 01:41pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Is this 40K per person or per couple/household/etc?? I'm just wondering!
Posted by Jenaia on 05/08/2007 at 02:09pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Thanks Penelope, I appreciate your candidness. I scrimp and save every once in a while, then get frustrated and go shopping with my friends or buy that bottle of wine I can't really afford. I agree, it is hard to live in an area where wealth – or the appearance of it – is such a priority.
Posted by sara on 05/08/2007 at 02:15pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Penelope,
If you couldn't afford a broom, I'd say you're not quite meeting minimum standards of living. Perhaps $45K could have lent a little more happiness in NYC, or at least a little more breathing room.
One thing that hasn't been mentioned is what if you make 40K a year and have 100K in loans/debts (for example, from school)? If you made more money and (ideally) used the extra to pay off some of that debt, wouldn't you be happier just knowing you weren't quite so buried by it?
I make just over 40K. I'm quite happy with it, but I know I'd be a lot happier if I had an extra 20K to pay off my remaining debt. *After* that, 40K would be fabulous.
Posted by jade on 05/08/2007 at 02:20pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I'm guessing that the idea here is NOT to get into a full blown discussion on financial management strategies. Yes, it's hard. Yes, an extra $5k or $10k would help. Yes, there are sacrifices. In the end you have to be willing to ask yourself the difficult questions about how you really want to live. I know from my own experience, this is not easy. There is ALWAYS more. You can very easily fall into the mindset of "if I only had X more dollars then I'd be happy." You can do this for a lifetime and never be happy. Sadly, many people do. Money does NOT equal happiness.
I think the social comparison has to be most difficult part of deciding for yourself how much is "enough." Many of us lived extremely poor in college. But it was fine because everybody was extremely poor (at least most). You get into the real world and start to work and become friends with people who are making money and there is an invisible force to "be like them." After you develop a taste for this, it's hard to turn away. I would be interested in how people who have run with crowds like this ultimately changed paths.
I really admire what Penelope has written here about the raincoats, the vacuum cleaner and saving every bit of food. That's simply amazing. Most of America would have run up their credit cards under the idea that "they deserve it." What discipline! What a role model. And if I understand correctly, they ultimately decided to leave the big city for a better quality of life. I'm sure the cost of living factored into that decision.
Posted by Al on 05/08/2007 at 04:28pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Well if a great sex life is more important than a high paying salary for your happiness, what about the study that shows richer people have better sex than poorer people?
* * ** * * *
The guy whose research I'm referring to here, Blanchflower, says that more money doesn't buy more sex, it buys more partners. And the correlation between sex and happiness is based on there being a stable partner.
–Penelope
Posted by Paul on 05/11/2007 at 01:39pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I think there is a modicum of truth in everything. On the one hand, the researchers are on to something most of had known for quite a while – after a certain threshold, money stops bringing happiness (particularly, if you're filthy rich with a $20 million house, own airport and you get the picture lol), but sliding to the other extreme of barely making ends meet is also debilitating both for the person and his family.
I think the pivotal locus of equilibrium here must be the person in question – how can he/she balance all of the vicissitudes of life and yet remain optimistic and content like Penelope? Some will be happy earning $40,000 a year and yet their happiness level will skyrocket if they suddenly start making $100,00 (more frequent vacations for the family, better car, home, etc)!
So again, it's all very relative and I can argue for the cons and prons of either side.
Posted by dimka on 05/27/2007 at 04:04pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I would have to agree that money doesn't buy you happiness – above and beyond a ceratin point. In many ways – an attachment to money can cause strife in a relationship. I just recently exited a 2 year long live in relationship with a man that basically failed because of money. We both made 100K+ individually – but there were trust issues and we could nevermake things work. I originally went into the relationship seeking marriage, but learned over time that he had a major problem with mismanagement of money. People always talk about making money – but all of the money in the world won't save someone if they spend it like water! The sex was great a regular and more than once per week – but the mismanagement of the money became a sexual turnoff. Even though I had plenty of money of my own – I could never envision a future with him. My observations of his money mismanagement ultimately ruined my chances of marriage with him – but I could never be happy with someone who squandered resources that way.
Posted by Demetria on 05/28/2007 at 09:26pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Not that I agree with the results, but the Feb. 13, 2006 Pew Research Center study titled "Are We Happy Yet?" found that people who made more money were indeed happier.
Rob
* * * * * * * Hi, Rob. Thank you for your comment. I'm pretty sure this study said that richer people report that they are happier. But a subsequent study shows that while they say they are happier because they think they should be happier, if you ask rich people and middle class people, hour by hour how they're feeling, rich people are not happier. so the crux of the study is that rich people feel more pressure to be happier. Penelope
Posted by Rob on 05/28/2007 at 11:55pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Al's summary put it best. The pressure to maintain the status quo will only increase in the future as long as our capitalist society continues to link happiness with consumption and sell it to us. We are only acting out the power of the advertising that we pitch to ourselves. What will reverse this trend? Social Pressure and failed expectations driven by empty advertising is what fuel this discussion. We sell to ourselves advertising that's like empty calories with no nutritional value.
I drove a Toyota Corolla (no power doors or locks) from my junior year in college to my current age of 29. While this was the Easiest and smartest thing for me to do Economically over the past 9 years, Socially it was among the Hardest. Why is that? Being a young male in my early 20s, I felt the pressure a 1000 times to over-extend myself and go purchase a fancy new car to impress the ladies. Would this have made me more happy? In the short term, maybe. – but I agree a monogomous long-term relationship is more fulfilling.
Posted by Gion on 05/31/2007 at 12:17am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have two boyfriends that we are talking about long term ( marriage). ( please dont judge me yet on why two lets focus on the subject pls). first one is rich, have fancies cars – 6 of them, lives in huge houses -cost millions each, owns his own business and works almost everyday, i can have almost anything i want, but he hardly had time for me. then comes the second, works a stable job,lives in an apartment (a downside) travels everywhere in the world for holidays,loving and caring to no end,gives me so much attention, now you can tell im really in a dilemma, my heart goes with the second,he makes me so happy,but i feel a bit insecure like what if he loses his job? my mind goes with the first cos i wont have to worry about $ all my life,but will i be happy?
. the second guy would be ideal for most of women,had she not have the choice to marry a millionair. will i regret one day if i marry the second guy that i gave up the chance of living in a huge house driving ferrari? I wish i knew.
I dont see myself as materialistic, (it would be so much easier if i was ),after reading all the post i really have to think hard what really makes me happy.
Posted by Jane on 06/04/2007 at 04:20am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Jane,
First of all, I would like to say that I am not judging you, because money is important in order to have the things that we need and want in life.
I have continually struggled with the issue of money in all of my relationships. Consider yourself fortunate if you have a millionaire that wishes to marry you, because some view women as disposable play things.
I would have you think about your assumption that you will not have to worry about money for the rest of your life – if you marry the millionaire. How do you know a pre-nuptual agreement wouldn't be a condition of the marriage; has this been discussed? If for some reason you are unhappy in the marriage, it may make it very difficult to leave if you will have to severely downsize your lifestyle in order to do so. I think that your intuition has already let you know that the millionaire won't have the ability to provide you with the time and attention that you want.
Just some food for thought.
Posted by Demetria on 06/04/2007 at 03:34pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Part of why people who make more money seem proportionately less-happy may be that they know on some level that they're really working for politicians, who take higher portions of their labor, and give it to people that the person earning the money wouldn't personally spend it on.
In other words, they hate being robbed so someone else can waste it, and get the thanks!
Posted by Tim Kern on 06/18/2007 at 08:11pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
That may, in fact, be what you think makes you less happy.
If your hypothesis that a transfer of wealth was the root of individual dissatisfaction was true we could easily test it.
Simply look at some happiness data from countries with high tax rates (wealth transfer, higher portions of labor being spent, Etc.).
For the "being robbed" proposition to be true the average level of happiness in countries with high tax rates would be lower. I am sure Penelope could comment on research into high tax Scandinavian countries.
For Tim Kern's statement to be true, then what about people who come into great wealth (inheritance or lottery) but do not have a higher proportions of their labor taxed and spent by politicians because there is no labor involved in the wealth creation?
Rob
Posted by Rob Schneiderman on 06/19/2007 at 02:51pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Rob brings up a couple interesting points, but largely missed mine. Only part of the dissatisfaction comes from the progressive rate of usurpation; as noted, though the act of simply taking one's property naturally runs against my grain, it's also the waste and the lack of appreciation that also figure in. Rob makes no judgment on the "averave level of happiness" of Scandinavians, nor of the size of their middle class, nor of the rate of change of proportionality of the middle class to the ruling class and the poor — all these are very important criteria.
Saying "there is no labor involved in the wealth creation" in a lottery is true, and I'm not sure that people put as high a value on "found money" as on money they consider their own.
As for inheritance, that's an entirely different animal. Money available for inheritance has already been taxed in every conceivable way, and often the inheritor has contributed to the value of that inheritance, either by direct contribution of labor or by forgoing certain things or opportunities as that inheritance was amassed.
So, though Rob's arguments do indeed make me think, I can't say they've changed my mind. The first is undocumented and incomplete; the second (lottery) is entirely conjecture; and the third is ignoring what I see are some major factors, so I can't give it much weight.
When politicians take from some to give to others, they are exercising some divine right: they are supposing that they have some claim on someone else's property. Further, the are assuming that they (and their eneblers, the masses of voters who have no problem getting something for nothing) somehow have a better idea of how someone's property (or life, as the two are closely-related) should be used than the person who earned the property in the first place. Democracy has no authority other than force of numbers; it's just three wolves and a sheep voting on what's for lunch. (That's why we have a limited-government, constitutional Republic rather than a democracy, and it's another reason why I'm impatient with those who pledge to uphold that Constitution and then ignore it.)
Posted by Tim Kern on 06/20/2007 at 05:25pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
enablers
Posted by Tim Kern on 06/20/2007 at 05:26pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
i need $300,000 to i be a rich man
Posted by medo on 06/28/2007 at 04:32am | permalink | Reply to this comment
" alot of stars are NOT happy. Why do you think they are always doing drugs? What ends up happening is that they make all this money and then are surprised that they are not fulfilled or happy. Then they turn to drugs etc for fulfillment or to dull the pain"
What?! Why do people always make the leap that drugs = unhappy. I confine my drug abuse to countries where it's legal, but I always have a lot of fun and I don't do it because I'm depressed, I just like it. One of my best friends smokes hash daily and he's one of the happiest guys you'll ever meet. Somebody has been watching too many after school specials. Take some recreational drugs from time to time, it's fun.
Posted by Barry on 06/30/2007 at 04:43pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Barry,
While I am sure it is a very stimulating topic,
this blog is not about the pros and cons of drug use.
Your drug analogy confirms the point that Penelope is trying to make. A moderate amount of money is leads to happiness and as you get more money you don't get the same Happiness results. The same can be said for drugs moderation is the key and as you strive for more you get very little in return.
Rob
Posted by Robert on 06/30/2007 at 07:22pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
If I could have a LOT more sex at the cost of a lot less money, I'd find a way to deal with it. Ha.
Posted by Tinu on 07/02/2007 at 12:50am | permalink | Reply to this comment
One thing you might consider is an individuals RELATIVE income compared to piers rather than absolute income ($40k in this case).
Economist Robert Frank (Cornell University) makes a fairly compelling case that where we are in the income distribution has a VERY significant impact on our happiness. In fact, in one of his studies he states, "There's no one single change you can imagine that would make your life improve on the happiness scale as much as to move from the bottom 5 percent on the income scale to the top 5 percent"
This might explain why many people in California sell their condos (bottom of income distribution) for $500,000 and move to Arizona or Texas and buy huge houses for cash (top of the income distribution).
Rob
Posted by Rob Schneiderman on 07/03/2007 at 01:02pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Rob –
That really seems right on. Social comparison is an amazing force. I don't think people totally get just how "real" it is. When you're being influenced by social comparisons, your mind has all sorts of seemingly real reasons that help you justify or rationalize. It's not until you've removed yourself from a situation that you fully see the forces that were acting on you. I don't mean to be harsh. It's only natural to want to fit in and be accepted. But in the end, you see that being accepted has more to do with who you are and not what you buy or can afford. Time helps bring perspective.
Money is NOT happiness. Money can't buy happiness.
Practice saying that 100 times in a day and see where your thoughts lead you.
Al
Posted by Al on 07/03/2007 at 08:38pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
What about having a dog? Aren't there studies that show dog owners are healthier and happier? Would having 1-2 dogs detract you from sexual thoughts and at the same time increase your chance of encountering the opposite sex?
Posted by Joseph Chen on 07/05/2007 at 01:18pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Joseph,
It is interesting that you say the about animals.
The Pew Research Center put out a study in Feb. 2006 called "Are We Happy Yet?" which does a regression analysis of that very question (dogs and/ or cats).
They found no significant advantage to having animals. That is only for happiness, however, not health.
If you google the title of the article you can read it yourself.
Rob
* * * * *
Rob, Thank you for bringing up this study. Good one. For the curious among us, here's the link.
Penelope
Posted by Rob Schneiderman on 07/05/2007 at 03:11pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Its interesting to be reading this article , sitting in Bangalore, India's silicon valley. The advice here is similar to Guy Kawasaki's advice( 'pursue joy, not happiness'). I wonder if this truth still applies in a developing country setting.
Out of college developers here are getting paid salaries that would take six or seven years of work, they are buying new cars and apartments which their parents could never afford (very unlike the US). They jump for more pay every 2 years, often never thinking much about the kind of work. Sometimes they end up in a big branded company like Microsoft doing only testing, leading to further jumps. Most seek employment in software
from other engineering branches because it pays well.
Perhaps Maslow's hierarchy of needs can explain this, because I dont see this need for 'finding one's calling' in this crowd. (In the non- technology sectors though, a change towards unconventional career's is very visible)
Posted by Anirban on 07/31/2007 at 06:29am | permalink | Reply to this comment
…(contd.) Interestingly Penelope, even if you look at your own career graph, you shifted to maketing for the software industry for better pay, then to the 200K salary, before finally giving it all up for doing what made you happy. It's an evolutionary process.
Posted by Anirban on 07/31/2007 at 06:39am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I'd say up to $40k people would feel happier and happier like you said, but after that they'd start to feel more and more guilty of having too much money. I think if I had millions I'd feel guilty and want to give it away. I'd think 'there are people starving in the world and I'm sitting here with my huge flat-screen HD television and expensive car. It's not something that's focused on, you rarely find people talking about this guilt in the media (film stars etc…) but I think it's true for most people, except villains like Rupert Murdoch! That's my 2 cents anyway…
Posted by Jacob Ashcroft on 08/04/2007 at 12:48pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Penelope,
Lucy from Financial Times wrote a similar & much better article a while ago.
You should check it out for some pointers.
Posted by Christine on 08/14/2007 at 12:09am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Money, is one important things to our life, cause money can buy anythings that you like and money can make many friends..!
Posted by Dayson Ilo on 08/15/2007 at 07:53am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Balance as everything in life is the key, too much work for money & status will end you up in the divorce courts as much as non payment of the mortgage will get you kicked out and a wife on your back for being a non achiever! However looking at those that APPEAR to be high acheivers the film stars and high flyers, they seem to be the ones desperate to settle down remarry time and tiem again, where maybe a little less time achieving and more sustaining would have gained them mush more than the next porche!
Posted by Helen UK on 08/20/2007 at 07:49am | permalink | Reply to this comment
we need money i want to read but i have no momey plz help me thanks sir
Posted by imran on 08/23/2007 at 04:13am | permalink | Reply to this comment
im been lookin for help sinc why b4 i meet u online /my comment my father/mother where dead when i was in kid sinc then im strougling to send my shelf to school ,i sporsor my shelf to primary school that is where i started looking for helper to give money throug money tranfer to go back to school and start a little petty bisness to feed my shelf,once againg u do it for me iwill happy thank u
Posted by sunday adebayo on 09/10/2007 at 09:30pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
i throngly cant on you send me back to school with sum of 2000thousand dollers
Posted by sunday adebayo on 09/10/2007 at 09:54pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
sundy adebayo
First of all, I would like to say that I am not judging you, because money is important in order to have the things that we need and want in life.
I have continually struggled with the issue of money in all of my relationships. Consider yourself fortunate if you have a millionaire that wishes to marry you, because some view women as disposable play things.
I would have you think about your assumption that you will not have to worry about money for the rest of your life – if you marry the millionaire. How do you know a pre-nuptual agreement wouldn’t be a condition of the marriage; has this been discussed? If for some reason you are unhappy in the marriage, it may make it very difficult to leave if you will have to severely downsize your lifestyle in order to do so. I think that your intuition has already let you know that the millionaire won’t have the ability to provide you with the time and attention that you want.
Just some food for thought
Posted by sunday adebayo on 09/10/2007 at 09:58pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
"Your sex life matters more." That's obviously written by an overpaid loser.
Money can buy you pretty much anything, including a senator or a sex life. What it can't buy you is a love life; but it opens a lot more doors than "not money" ever will.
Posted by Tim Kern on 09/10/2007 at 10:17pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I will agree with the person that posted about living in big cities. I am a young professional living in Honolulu on 32K a year and I am still doing perfectly fine. Rent is super high but I am happy to be living in paradise. The key is not spending money on the non-essential things. Oatmeal and turkey sandwiches…mmm
Posted by Justin Wright on 09/24/2007 at 04:01am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Cant blame them
Without money we could not live
Mabey 100 years ago
but not now
I need money thats what the world has decided for me
Posted by I need money on 09/24/2007 at 04:08am | permalink | Reply to this comment
i think that anyone who actually believes that there is a specific number that represents happiness is an idiot. ESPECIALLY those that helped in the "wide body of research" that came up with happiness is $40,000 a year. selfish, ignorant, materialistic, petty people!! yes, people need money. you need money for food, money for shelter, etc. but assess your actual needs as compared to the wants that media sells to you. FOOD. AIR. WATER. those are all you truly *need* to survive. take, for instance, anywhere but internet-derived america- there are thousands of people living without clothes and shelter. it might not be the epitome of comfortable living, but it is survival. humans, especially americans, have forgotten what it means to actually need. if you have a computer, then you should never complain about not having all that you need. think outside of yourselves. "in the event that mankind figures out what it is this world revolves around, thousands will be shocked and perplexed to realize it was not them…" i am not against the rich or the famous. i'm against the american mindset that they are any better or deserve any more than anyone else. YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. i'll be the first to tell you that i'm selfish and cruel and hateful and foolish and prideful. but at least i realize that. untill people realize that they are nothing in the entire scheme of things, the world will only get worse. DO NOT complain that you are unhappy if you are trying to earn it with possessions. anyone who slaves to get something that is temporary, hoping that it will feed the eternal, will never find true happiness. think about it.
Posted by patricia on 10/06/2007 at 03:05pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I don't think that the article is implying that to be happy you need to make 40,000 a year. What the article was trying to say is to be happy you don't need to be rich. You just have to be able to support yourself and pay the bills.
Posted by sara on 10/11/2007 at 09:01pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Interesting article. Lets face it money is the key element to happiness and suriving in the world. One might not have money at all but if granted some it will bring a smile to their face. On the other hand sex pleasures a person which raises their emotional level. There isnt a price to happiness it is more of what you do or want more of to keep that happiness.
Posted by Teresa on 10/12/2007 at 04:28pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I definitely agree with the concept that money cannot buy happiness, and it may be true that 40k is truly what one needs financially to remain content in their lives. Our intimate relationships I feel play a bigger role in the long haul just as Penelope addressed, because once that interaction is gone, no material thing or 10k bonus is going to fill that void.
Posted by Malissa on 10/17/2007 at 11:53pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Believe me, when you can't pay your bills, you're not having great sex. Not for long, anyway.
As adults, we need — first — to address our responsibilities. Then we might have time to be happy. It's in addressing those responsibilities (and knowing, either explicitly or intuitively, that taxes take up more than half our productivity), that we sometimes get lost.
As for addressing our responsibilities, the lower we set our necessary expenses in relation to our earnings (the other half of our earnings go to food, shelter, clothing, savings, and "toys"), the less stress we'll have. As they've said for centuries, robbing Peter to pay Paul only makes Peter mad — and you can't be too happy when you're dealing with a sore Peter.
Posted by Tim Kern on 10/18/2007 at 08:55am | permalink | Reply to this comment
What I don't understand is WHY money doesn't make people happier. I mean, living without worries should make one happy, right? I feel that the more money I have, the safer I will feel rather than living paycheck to paycheck which I believe would make me rather unhappy and stressed all the time. I don't think we should look at money as the opportunity to buy more material things but as the reliever that will keep us worry free from debt, starvation and all the necessities in life.
I don't think that the person who barely gets by on pure essentials is as happy as the person who has 50k sitting in the bank for emergencies. I believe the person with more money will feel a different sense of happiness knowing that he will never have to worry about going hungry or paying his mortgage each month.
Posted by Imelda on 10/18/2007 at 08:17pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Jeez, I think a lot of people are missing the bigger picture.
The point isn't that you *must* make $40,000/yr and you *must* have sex once a week to be happy. Those figures are likely just statistical averages from across the entire nation. Obviously, living in NYC is going to cost a lot more than $40,000/yr, while at the same time living in Bumfug West (by God) Virginny is going to cost a lot less than $40,000/yr. Some people will be happier with sex more than once a week, and some will be happier with less.
The underlying point of the post and its conclusions is a lot more nebulous than that, and that's probably what is so off-putting to so many. Our culture is largely geared to formulaic, simple solutions to complex issues that ideas like this are a complete mystery to some. This is probably because we're so used to hearing the Old Formula for Success and Happiness: get good grades in school, go to a prestigious university, get good grades there, get a good job with a corporation, get married, squirt out a few kids, make as much money as you can, happiness will follow. Yeah, right.
Here's what the post is trying to tell you:
You need to make enough money to meet the basic needs of you and your family, maybe with a little left over to play with. Anything beyond that is gravy, *but* if you have the wrong expectations with what any additional money will do for you and your happiness, then it will not necessarily make you happy and may in fact make you unhappy once you realize it's not a panacea.
You need to develop your personal relationships to the point where you end up developing a special relationship with an appropriate partner. You need to invest enough in that relationship that it becomes meaningful to both of you, and if you have sex on a regular basis with that person (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, whatever) then you'll both be a lot happier.
This is simple stuff; it all goes back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Don't be silly and try to boil this down to "make $40,000 a year and have sex once a week and you're set!"
Posted by Eric on 10/23/2007 at 05:33am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Very interesting blog. “If you spend seven years studying the differences between grapes, no two will look the same to you, but really a grape is a grape.” Loved that part because everyone nowadays think that they are different from the pack. Like that song, people are people. wouldn't you agree?
Posted by Jason on 10/23/2007 at 09:49pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I dont feel that it is impossible for asexuals to be happy. I feel that some may not be happy because they feel different from others. i believe that once they are comfprtable with who they are they can be happy with it.
Posted by ashleyian on 10/25/2007 at 04:29am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Your sex life is a direct function of the amount of money you make, especially as you get older. Old people still want to screw young people; that is Mother Nature. Since young people prefer to bed young people, and may in fact be disgusted by older, fatter, hairier, or generally uglier people, money helps to cushion the deal. In general, the amount of money needed to screw a younger person is in proportion to the difference of age, beauty, and general health between the two people.
Of course my point is that in order to be happy, your sex life is important, but then in turn, so is money. Don't neglect this important reality.
* * * * * *
What other blogger would respond to a comment like this? But here goes…
The research on this topic is clear that the quality of sex you have — like, multiple orgasms or whatever — is not the issue with happiness. The happiness factor is a result of you making a point to create a life where you are in a meaningful, intimate,stable relationship. Weekly sex is a natural offshoot of this and an easy way to measure.
So, you might prefer young people, but it will not make you significanly happier to have sex with a young person. After all, whether the person is young or old does not change anything about your life. You still had sex. You still are who you are.
In fact, now that I think about it, older people chasing younger people is sometimes so fruitless or vapid or both that maybe you could say older people who look for partners their own age are happier. Just my own cojecture here…
Penelope
Posted by Jim Cohen on 10/25/2007 at 12:53pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I'm rich, oh and I'm happy. Ha
Posted by Josh on 10/30/2007 at 08:47pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
We can pick our own careers by thinking about what makes us (not others) happy. But the key is to be HONEST with ourselves about what we really enjoy (not what we would enjoy telling people our career is at our 10, 20 year reunions, etc.).
For me, the Myers Briggs personality test results are HIGHLY illuminating. But you need to be HONEST with yourself when you take the test too! This is your one and only life!
Posted by EAC on 11/16/2007 at 06:58pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Lots of people posting in comments, and even the original blog entry seem to have create an artifical correlation between making money and being unhappy.
I dabbled in a few career paths before choosing my current persuasion. I earn 96,000 per year, like my job, and like my money. I live in suburban Ohio, average income is somewhere around 35-40k. I like my job more at 96k than 40k – I'm saving for retirement, paying off my house, and not making decisions based upon money. I can help my friends when I need to.
I feel like some people on here chose career's exclusively on salary, without considering some of the things the author brings up.
I don't think anyone would feel any more dis-satisfaction with their job if their boss doubled their salary. Money is not the problem here, your career choices are.
Posted by Adam Schaible on 12/04/2007 at 02:17pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I'm 18. I have thought long, hard, and repeatedly about what I want from life. What I have concluded is that these are the best posts I have ever read on the internet. All I want to say is that each person has their own needs, and these needs are shaped by our environment, mentality, and just about an endless list of personal factors. If one wants to put an average monetary amount on the happiness factor, let them, I don’t care; I just will just make myself happy, make … yo, I fell for this girl, I have nothing else to say. . . can’t think straight. Haha :)
Posted by Will-A on 12/06/2007 at 05:35pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
My relationship to God. Family, Social Relationships and Having a career that allows you the automany and freedom to earn an adequate income to be financially independent and secure to me is what life is all about. I made 200,000 dollars in the early stages of my investment advisory and banking roles. The Back biting over deals or rank and file for corporate mobility is insane. You really find out the true character of people. Some people will cut thier own mother's throat lose friends and close relative over a dollar. To me that has gone too far. They value material things that cost money over non-material things that are free, Your ambition, your love and respect for others, freedom from some one else controlling and micro managing your life. That is free!!!!! I will take that any day. I moved from the Midwest to a Warm climate in the south with Palm trees fun in the sun freedom and with my children and my wife (almost divorced)!But i didnt!!!! We are so much happier I pinch my self because sometimes we think we are in a dream. GOD, Family, Social Relationships and having the financial freedom to enjoy life in my opinion is what life is all about. Pursue your purpose money is apart of that NOT THE CENTER!!
Posted by Lewis Hunter on 01/07/2008 at 10:05am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Well, Lewis, when you have plenty of money it kinda changes your perspective. You can't enjoy the "free" things in life unless you have enough money to pay your taxes (#1 expense for Americans, greater than food, shelter, clothing and everything else combined) and feed yourself.
Then you can have the luxury of your palm trees and your dreams.
I'm happy for you, but when you start out having enough money to keep the government and parasitic socialist voters off your back, you lose the perspective of those of us who are struggling to support all the leeches that get our money before we do, and have a greater claim on it than we do. (We don't get it in the first place, since so much is withheld; and we can't keep it through strength of arms, but government can take it that way, throwing us into the street or prison for non-payment of taxes on the house we "own." It doesn't matter that we earn it — it's not ours. Ever. You gotta pay the State so it will let you keep all the things you've already earned and paid for.)
Enjoy your paradise, but don't tell us what's more important than money. In this country, nothing is: the government won't settle for your prayers. You've gotta give them money, or you're off to prison. Of course, if you're happy in prison (with or without walls) and you don't mind systematic robbery, then I guess it's possible. But I'd suspect a mental illness, first.
Posted by Tim Kern on 01/07/2008 at 10:48am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Lewis: Someone who has already made 200,000 dollars can talk about giving it up for something else. But you cannot give up something you do not have, so only the rich can give such advise. Even I would have retired and done something different if I had 200,000 dollars. Thats plenty of money in the country I live in.
More evidence that more wealth need not always be bad:
According to the Pew Research folks, "there's a 72% correlation between per capita GDP growth in a country and its citizens' happiness."
Another extensive survey conducted in 2007 by the Pew Research Center found that 65% of Americans termed themselves "satisfied" with their lives. That compares with the four economic powerhouses of Britain, France, Germany and Italy, which averaged about 53%. Virtually every nation in Europe lagged the U.S. in income. Indeed, if it were a state, the EU would rank 47th in per capita GDP
Posted by anirban on 01/11/2008 at 11:06am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I agree with anirban. Also, if you don't live somewhere in the inner America, $40k is still below middle class.
Posted by alexf2000 on 01/16/2008 at 03:08pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Income and spending are totally different. Some people can earn $100K and spend all of it and more using credit cards. Other people can earn $70K and barely make ends meet. Still others can earn $50K, while only spending $40K and saving the surplus. Just as there is a threshold that separates “enough to get by” and “not enough to survive,” there is another line between “enough is Plenty” and having “too much” that it is extravagant and wasteful. It is hard to place numbers on those division lines. Especially with the varying costs of living across the country.
That is why the figure $40K is just a concept, and imaginary line. You must put the dollar amounts on each category yourself.
– Not Enough
– Enough to Get By
– Enough is Plenty
– Too Much
It is funny because all four items above should be close to the same dollar amount. You heard me. There is a magic number for you. Kind of like the Sleep Number bed, you have a magic Money Number. Find your magic money number that is enough to get by with a little extra that feels like plenty. Anything less is not enough and anything more is too much. This is where your individual mentality comes into play. Do you have the maximizing attitude of more is better? Or do you have the simple belief that deeper relationships make life better? The magic money number is essentially your personal standard of living. The number that feels like enough is plenty.
Posted by harley15 on 01/27/2008 at 07:16am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Like adding sugar to your coffee, there is a saturation point where the liquid can no longer dissolve the sugar and it sinks to the bottom. Finding your financial saturation point can give you a point of reference from which to base your salary requirements, city to live in, and spending habits.
We must focus on the difference between what is coming in and what is going out. It seems the current mentality is that if we earn X number of dollars, that we automatically can spend that amount. We can all agree that “the more you make, the more you spend.” Plus, we always want to spend 20% more than whatever our current spending power is. Instead, we need to change our attitude. We need to control our spending and bring it down below our earnings, in order to build a savings nest egg. We need to spend 20% less of whatever our current earning power is.
Now that we have a magic money number for our standard of living, we can go from there and set up our earnings, bills, spending and savings accordingly. We can easily determine how much we really need to earn to support our “enough is plenty” lifestyle. We can begin to determine if we want to live in a more or less expensive city. We can begin to make wiser spending and saving choices. We can begin to live without constantly worrying about money and focus on building stronger, deeper, more rewarding relationships.
Posted by harley15 on 01/27/2008 at 07:34am | permalink | Reply to this comment
It would be nice if there was a magic formula for finding your magic number, but there is not. That is why some people try out a wide range of jobs, from $22K to $200K. They learn by trial and error which actions were rewarding and which sacrifices were not worth making. Personally, I have learned at least one lesson the hard way. For me, making $60K instead of $40K per year is not worth driving in rush hour traffic for up to 2 hours per day, five days a week.
However, we could take a short cut and go by locations. Pick a city and look up the median household income. Go to factfinder.census.gov .
For example, Dallas is $38K and San Francisco is $65K. Obviously, the suburb cities will have their own figures, which are usually higher. For example, we mentioned that Dallas was at $38K, but just to the north in Plano, it is $77K. Or use the national data. The U.S. median household income is $48,000 per year. That means, one-half of American households earns less than $48,000 and one-half earns more. A household may contain one person or many people, in which case all workers' incomes are combined. Currently, the national average household size is 2.6 people.
So, if we use the number $48K, we can see that we need a job that pays $48K (if only one spouse works) to support the average American family living in a city where the median income is also $48K, such as Boston. We can simply divide up the income from there into spending and savings and live happily ever after.
Posted by harley15 on 01/27/2008 at 07:49am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I wish the goverment could take persons evry working wages and stick it all in one big pot and then hand it out to each amerian every month in the form of a check for aboyt $3,500 then everyone would live equaly and but only the people that acrualy work should get ir.
Probably would not work I did really think that one out very well
Posted by Free Money I wish their was on 02/03/2008 at 05:26am | permalink | Reply to this comment
ok ill answer the question of how much money will make me happy. I need atleast 10 million dollars for a nice private house on the beach, then ill need almost a million dollars for a nice car or 2. another million for extra cars to drive when i am bored of the ones i usually use, about 7 million dollars for things to fill my basic needs in my house (chairs and tables and microwaves and shit) then a good 20 million dollars for the stone lions i will have built in my front yard with other small ornimants. then another 2 mill for a nice pool and jacuzi in the back yard. then another 80 million dollars to live comfortably without working and being able to spend money on whatever I want.
Posted by mike on 02/07/2008 at 03:29pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I don't believe that only money can bring happiness. Look a my blog.
Posted by Kevin Purfield on 02/20/2008 at 03:25am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Thats a rad post. I want to see more like this. You should do one on actually using your talents and finding a job and why people feel that they aren't worth it to find a job that makes them happy. Why is that? I mean it's our life right? What is a couple of years not getting paid a lot to get the job that will make you happy for 48 years? Maybe the evil one put something in the water or people are lazy..hmm…
Posted by HonestChitChat on 02/28/2008 at 02:24am | permalink | Reply to this comment
What an interesting and thought provoking article!
Posted by cody dale on 03/07/2008 at 12:31am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have had very different lifestyles over the last few years. I have gone from making only enough money to get by to making enough money to really enjoy myself. and i found that my happiness level did not change much. At the moment I am an inbetween point financially (I can spend money but do have to budget) and I find this to be a really good spot for me. I am not stressed about paying bills but do have to budget for things I want, which makes me appreciate them more.
Posted by cody dale on 03/07/2008 at 12:36am | permalink | Reply to this comment
My husband and me always talk about the future, how it is gonna be so great as soon as we have our own house, can travel as much as we want, etc. But now I am finally realizing that you should not always postpone your happiness to the future. We actually could afford more trips (it doesn't have to be Australia or Dubai) ot little things that make you happy and helps to hold up your marriage, which also leads to happiness.
And honestly there is not much that I would change if I have more money…
Posted by Stephanie on 03/14/2008 at 02:29pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
This is a interesting topic. I had never thought any thing about how income related to sex. Even happiness there are studies about this.
Posted by Lindsay on 03/19/2008 at 09:41pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
well, different things make differnet people happy.
Posted by Alicia on 03/26/2008 at 08:37am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Regarding sex, it's the intimacy that makes someone happy. Making love is a better term. With money, whatever ur income is, maybe because thats all what you need. Remember not all rich is happy =) simple things are the sweet ones after all =)
Posted by bugs on 03/29/2008 at 11:29am | permalink | Reply to this comment
i just need the money and i dont care what it takes
Posted by ndang on 04/13/2008 at 02:27pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Well it's like I always knew, more sex equates to happier people. I have definitely found this to be true in my case. Thanks for the article.
Posted by Stephanie on 05/17/2008 at 10:19pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have a problem with how we're looking at real-time happiness here as opposed to average happiness over a lifetime.
If you were to look at someone who makes 40k a year, meets basic necessities I can buy that they're pretty happy day to day. But what if they have nothing left over to contribute to retirement?
Contrast that with someone who works crazy hours, has no sex life, is an absolute miserable wreck, makes a million bucks a year — BUT retires after several years, gets married, has two kids and lives off of his interest/dividend payments doing the thing that he/she is most passionate about.
Now add up the happiness level for each of these persons from the day they were born until the day the die and I think you'll find that the second guy comes out further ahead.
Posted by thetrystero on 05/30/2008 at 07:06am | permalink | Reply to this comment
As much as you want to spend.
It's why America was invented.
Posted by Pat on 06/07/2008 at 01:19pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
you know i have been reading all of these comments and truly i think its funny as hell. im 19 years old and i have been born into low class. All my life and i did the dumbest thing by dropping out of high school. i finaly got a GED, so i might be starting college next fall. you know the most funny part of this whole entire post is that all you rich people are whining and crying over because your still not happy with the 40k. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. little kids are starving, not just other countries OUR COUNTRIES. about that jane girl that posted about having 2 boyfriends well i think YOUR low class. because in my life i had one girl friend and she broke my heart and it was REALLY ALL ABOUT MONEY. alls i have to say is ALL FEMALES WANT A GOOD RIDE. In our society YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE JUST LIVING OFF OF 12K A YEAR DO YOU PEOPLE. yet you SAY YOUR SO BETTER THAN EVERY BODY ELSE. WELL if i ever get that big dream of making it to 40k ILL BE THE MOST HAPPY AS I EVER BEEN.if you cant make it off 40k than you have problems if i was you seek help now. try living in 12k a year and come back and talk to me. until then to the people who THINK they are better than everybody….YOU MAKE ME SICK! thank you im out peace!!!
Posted by Daniel Smith on 07/19/2008 at 09:36am | permalink | Reply to this comment
oh and about the post about not having the right thing to wear at different events. I HAVE 3 PAIRS OF PANTS AND 6 SHIRTS. GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!!
Posted by Daniel Smith on 07/19/2008 at 09:41am | permalink | Reply to this comment
If these theories were at all valid, wouldn't porn stars and prostitutes be the happiest people around? How about some families living in third world countries who have nothing other than what little food they can put in their mouth – but, they are happy with each other and close in relationships and families. Funny how many 40K families can barely tolerate each other once or twice a year. Interesting.
Posted by Chris on 07/29/2008 at 09:56pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Oh yeah, and Penelope….mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted by Chris on 07/30/2008 at 08:31pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Well i agree with pat, i am 24 and earning around 9k a year in a job where i help others worse of than me in,support worker.I also look after my uncle who is registard blind i help him with house maintenance,clean out his guide dogs toliet area and support him every day. I dont have much as long as i a have a roof over my head and food and water and being thankful to having all my capabilities and health and support from friends i get buy with on what i am earning. i know so many people on a higher wage than me and in so much debt and could nt care about others worse off than themselfs, i dnt know how they sleep at night, money is not everything be thankfull for your health and capabilities, live a life not greedy one.
Posted by grahamuk on 08/21/2008 at 07:57pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
If sex is so important to happiness…are you saying that people that choose to be abstinent until marriage are more unhappy than others? Then, after they are married, do they become more happy than someone who has been having sex or many years?
Posted by Natalie on 09/30/2008 at 11:55pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Money is important to happiness. You can buy anything and friends will come with money, so will intimate relationships
Posted by Greg on 10/01/2008 at 05:46pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Other than the fact that I think this article is an oversimplifaction of what it takes to be happy. I think that the problem with this article and society today is the EXACT fact (or myth in my opinion) that the greatest happiness one can achieve comes from a revved up sex life. When has it ever been a good idea to give something so much weight?!
Posted by Anne on 10/05/2008 at 06:04pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
*oversimplification
Posted by Anne on 10/05/2008 at 06:05pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I agree. People always misunderstand happiness when it comes to their career. They think if they make more money, they will be happier. In reality, money doesn't really contribute to your happiness. You just need to find a job that you enjoy doing. You will become more happy working a job you enjoy that makes ok money then working a job you hate making loads of money.
Posted by Tiffany on 10/06/2008 at 10:26am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I really don't know how to explain myself on this topic except how could making money have anything to do with sex. Im only 18 so i don't really know anything about making money. I don't make that much money yet but sex is still good to me. Like i dont think it really matters on how much money you make. For some people it may be like that it all depends on the person!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Joseph Davies on 10/08/2008 at 07:07pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I agree with what your saying. Although I have a question that I was hoping you can email me about or respond to on here but I much rather an email. It has to do with Financial issues. Me and my husband live with my parents fr right now because of the simple fact of were both going to school. Were moving out next month. Together we will be making aroung $43,000. The apartment were looking at is $800 since together we make $3300 a month will that be enough to survive in today's society. I dont care about that fancy stuff. I have 4 more years until I can get my second degree but for now I can only work part time while my husband work full. Do you believe that $43,000 isnt enough a year for just the both of us?
Posted by Jewel on 10/31/2008 at 02:56pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I understand that sex could lead to happiness but I don't know if it would be as much as the article says, because what if you're with a person you don't care for but stay with them only for the sex? Are you saying one can still be happy? And sadly money is semi important. If you don't have money or at least make enough to make a living you will be too stressed and not be able to enjoy the pleasure of being with someone. You would just do it, because you think it will make you happen.
Posted by Rachel Torres on 11/06/2008 at 01:06pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Interesting article…I agree with the beginning of the article for sure. I loved getting and receiving all the unnecessary things in life when living at home. It made me very happy. I just recently moved out and I thought I would be unhappy because I don't have many of the things I had before. Cable is actually one of the things I don't have right now. Surprisingly, I don't care. I have food, shelter, the necessities, and I feel it's all I really need to make me happy. The more sex the merrier! I can believe that.
Posted by Taylor Madris on 12/03/2008 at 11:52pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
It wouldn't be bad to have one million dollars. Just put it in the bank and invest the interest. But I know to have realistic goals so I would go for sex at least once a day…A combination of the two would make me happy.
Posted by Brad on 01/15/2009 at 05:32pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
What if you're too ugly to have sex/form intimate relationships?
I can pay for sex, but I can't get it from a loving partner. As a result, I am suicidally depressed much of the time. Can I ever lead a fulfilling life? The sexual frustration destroys my focus on most tasks.
Posted by paul on 02/03/2009 at 05:28pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Paul, I completely agree with you. You need money to have sex.
Posted by Anonymous on 05/01/2009 at 02:45am | permalink | Reply to this comment
For those that seem to miss the whole point of this let me repeat the main points:
1 – You need enough money to cover the basic NEEDS in life (the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of "needs" – food, shelter, warmth.)
2 – You need to be in a relationship in which you invest enough time and effort that the other person WANTS to have sex with you (and for most people they are good with once a week) – it is not about getting sex once a week, it is about intimacy and it doesn't get more intimate than a sexual experience – and yes it is the difference between sex and "making love"
In both cases more is better, as long as the pursuit of one does not damage the other.
3 – Some times terrible things will happen that make you unhappy. If you have worked hard enough at (2) then you are more likely to come out without feeling depressed.
I can empathise with Paul, and the problem here is that the other person has not realised what makes them happy – usually a previous damaged relationship (parent's divorce, own divorce, bad break-up/infidelity/betrayal in a previous relationship) which they are mapping on to the current relationship. Only the other person can realise and break that cycle and if you help them do it then you will suceed at (2)
Posted by babelfish on 02/04/2009 at 06:23am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Money is important but sex is important as well. A combination of both is great to have. A healthy sex life in combination with a hard work ethic could help someone in making some money.
Posted by Bill on 03/01/2009 at 10:27pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
In my humble opinion, I think that at the beggining, more money does buy happiness. But then comes the problems that money also brings. Have you heard of the saying, " more money, more problems ". I beleave this is true. The more money, the greater opportunity to get into trouble. Have you heard of the lottery curse. Ordinary people before winning the lottery were way more happy than after winning the lottery. I really don't think there is an answer to how much money it takes to be happy. Human nature is just to have more, and more, and more. I think that to be truely happy, money can not be part of the equation . That is my opinion.
Posted by Manny C. on 03/13/2009 at 06:47pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I'd say the answer is as much money as you need to pay your bills, send your kids to a great college, and retire on when you hit the old age. Extra "fun" with the spouse helps too.
Posted by Birds birding on 03/20/2009 at 06:34am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Posted by babelfish on 02/04/2009 at 06:23am
BANG ON!
Posted by Chris on 04/02/2009 at 02:21pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
This is quite a hot information. I'll share it on Delicious.
Posted by How to Get Six Pack Fast on 04/15/2009 at 09:54am | permalink | Reply to this comment
The article has numerous points that does make complete sense, but not a lot of people are aware towards these specific points. If people knew what to look for in order to be happy (such as what wa), then they would reas discussedch that point!
Posted by Nilo on 05/03/2009 at 10:29pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
You know I read that complete post and you could have summed it up in one sentence, what makes people hapy is to get paid & laid. It is interesting though that they find 40k a year is the cut off for happiness I am still a couple thousand shy yearly, but almost there. That was an enjoyable post!!
Posted by Kris Beus on 05/18/2009 at 11:15am | permalink | Reply to this comment
in our days money has become a measure of happiness than just a measure of exchange. |Disgusting
Posted by Michael on 06/02/2009 at 05:33pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I have no money worries at all because I earn far more money than I need. Now this is the crux for me, I live in a modest house and drive an old Nissan car (which I bought from new ten years ago and it never breaks down!). I eat basic food and furnish my house basically, I have an old small TV, one computer and wear contemporary clothes! I spend perhaps 20% of my income (income is approx $110,000) because I know that having a big house, a flashy car and designer clothes are not gong to make me a different person, or indeed any happier. I also have two children and it would be wrong IMO to give them an impression that money makes one happy, they will grow up feeling confident with what they have and will not make social comparisons with richer people because the whole idea of spending on material things will not be part of their mindset. I have agonised many times over buying a new car, which I could afford twenty times over, but no, in the end I always decide that it will not really make me happier, I would be doing it to please others and not myself. My children have no toys and never watch TV, they are very happy, never bored, never complain and eat the same basic food, week after week. They are inquisitive, critical and articulate. When I suggested we could move to a larger house they were ardently opposed on the grounds that we would just end up filling the bigger house with furniture and things we had no use for. So I have conditioned my kids to lead a life where they spend according to THEIR needs, not to the needs of OTHERS. We are all happy, we have warm beds to sleep in, a car to travel in, a TV to watch sometimes, books to read, a garden to play in and enough food to fill us up. We do not have biscuits, candy bars, fizzy-drinks, alcohol, drugs, a big SUV, a home cinema, compute games etc. This is not due to lack of money, it is just that I am at a loss to see how having these things would make me a different/better person.
Posted by tariq on 06/07/2009 at 06:47pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Get paid and get laid. Hilarious!
Posted by MPH on 07/29/2009 at 12:18pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I didn't need 4 years at an Ivy League school to figure that out… Just 4 minutes with the Notorious B.I.G.
FBGM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaXAsMda9M
Posted by Marcos O on 08/27/2009 at 08:35pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
i would say that to be happy it is not necessary that you need to have 40,000 per year it is always better to have a limited amount of money and stay happier
i know a lot of people who have enough money but not happy
so money matters in a relationship both in a positive and in a negative way
Money and Relationships
Posted by Money and Relationships on 09/01/2009 at 09:47am | permalink | Reply to this comment
LOVED this post – especially the last paragraph about sex and money!! Great stuff!!
inlawswithmoney.blogspot.com
Posted by Sula Lee on 09/22/2009 at 01:02pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
Money *does* buy happiness. It's what you give up while earning that money that ruins it.
You will be happier doing the same job for 10 hours/week and earning 300K/year than if you had to work 80 hours/week to earn the same amount.
Happiness is liberty – the freedom to do what you want. But we lose liberty in the process of earning it, and that is bad.
Posted by Arun on 09/24/2009 at 06:00pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I would definitely take good sex every day of the week over making over $100k a year. I can make anything (expensive or free) fun as long as it's with a person that has the same attitude and so far, good sex with a good man has given me way more pleasure than bad sex with a rich man who was extremely into his money and his status.
Posted by Courtney on 10/09/2009 at 12:11am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I love this. It is very true. So many people, especially my friends, just want a job that will make bank because they think having all the money will take their worries away…. well see about that.
Posted by Tera Prancevic on 10/12/2009 at 05:13pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
i was strangely surprised to read the statistics on americans and sex- i guess i never really wondered what other people were doing. but i thought that it was interesting that the article didn't further talk about the types of sexual relationships and their statistics. i mean that for the married couple that are trying to conceive but can't-i can't imagine that sex would make them happier. A crumbling marriage is still sexually active, i would think, would also not to make the couple happier. Is it the physical act of sex that creates this happiness or the relationship that brings forth sex?
Posted by Tessashea on 10/13/2009 at 10:38pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I don't understand why a majority of my friends think if they have the high paying job, the slick car, all these unnecessary things they will be more happy in life. I can almost guarantee the person who is making 30,000 a year is having more sex then the person making 130,000 a year and wouldn't that make anyone more happy in life. I don't get why can't people learn to be a little more humble I think they would get a lot more satisfaction in and out of the bedroom.
Posted by Lindsey on 10/14/2009 at 03:36pm | permalink | Reply to this comment
I live in the capital of materialistism… it's called Orange County. Everyone here wants wealth, status, expensive accessories to trail along with them, big houses, and they would rather dig themselves into debt to give themselves status than risk being viewed as middle class. Luckily, I am originally from Pennsylvania, and have seen the real world as well. I guarantee that all the debt that my neighbors (and by neighbors, I mean the ones that live 15 miles down the street, because I certainly can't afford to live in their neighborhood) have accumulated, does NOT make them happy, but rather makes them work harder to keep up with the payments. How do they ever have the chance to enjoy these possessions that they have acquired? I live in an apartment complex, and I am surprised by the amount of really nice cars parked inside on a day to day basis. Brand new BMW's, Mercedes… how are these people choosing to drive an expensive car like that, when they are paying rent? Living in an apartment? Wouldn't they rather own a home, then have this "nice car"? No.. because it is all about status here. We want people to see our nice car and think, "wow, that guy lives the life." I have news to Orange County… this is NOT happiness people!!
Posted by Anna Kifer on 10/24/2009 at 01:53am | permalink | Reply to this comment
I think that this article greatly supports the idea that experiences have far greater effects on ones level of happiness rather than possessions, and yes once again only after the basic needs are met.
Posted by Darleen Rodriguez on 10/27/2009 at 01:43am | permalink | Reply to this comment
Its interesting to find out that one sex partner a year will make you happier than more than that.
Posted by Patricia on 11/04/2009 at 06:41pm | permalink | Reply to this comment