Hi Penelope,

The hyperlink to “tactics for effective assertiveness” in the 2nd last line of your article doesnt seem to work.

Loved the rest of the article - it’s a situation I may face very soon and the info is timely.

Keep up the great work.

Oh drat. That was my big-money link, too — the link to the great research.

Anyway, I fixed the link. Thank you for letting me know, Anuj.

What if your boss is not a decent boss, though? Do you say you should be more assertive then? What about going as far as pointing out all of the reasons for why you quit (respectfully, of course, but not holding any back)?

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If your boss is so awful that you have to quit then you can be sure your boss doesn’t care why you’re quitting. Don’t bother explaining. You’ll just burn a bridge. Why make the extra effort? You never know what will happen with that boss later in life. Maybe you will get help from him. Just leave and be gracious because people who are their best selves are gracious. Be your best self even if your boss isn’t.

-Penelope

I’m about to leave a company I’ve worked at for 5 years and had previously left before and came back. They have on occassion made a point to tell me what a key employee I am, and being the sensitive person that I am, this makes me feel bad about quitting. How should you handle the feelings of remorse that come along with quitting?? I’d really love to be able to drop him and email stating that I am quitting, but this is obviosuly not advisable–I just HATE conflict!! Any advice is much appreciated!
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The reason that sending an email is lame is because it’s insulting to the person you are quitting to. I say this becuase I think a lot of people quit via email not knowing that it is insulting. When you have been treated well by someone you should give them the courtesy of facing them when you thank them for giving you a good opportunity.

Penelope

I’m 27 years old and I’ve been at my current retail job for three years. I started out in the lowest possible position as a seasonal, part-time employee. I gradually moved up, first in the full-time position (32-38 hrs/wk), and then as Assistant Manager. I have been in this position for over a year.

My boss is often very rude, unprofessional, and offensive; getting angry and yelling at me, as well as the other employees for little or no reason at all. We have recently had several employees quit, partly due to the fact that no one really wants to work for a boss like this. I have decided that I will be quitting very shortly, as well. My job is causing much stress in my life between being treated unfairly at work, and conflict at home because the holidays are a very busy time and I am not able to take time off to see family members. I didn’t want to do it this way, but I now plan on quitting before the busiest time of the year so that I can visit relatives for the holidays. However, as badly as I’ve been treated at work, I still feel terribly about quitting during this time. There are few employees left who have been there long enough to really know what they’re doing. I know that my boss will be extremely angry and I don’t know quite how to go about telling her. Since I have been at the company for three years and am in the position of Assistant Manager (which is a more difficult position to fill), I plan on giving a 30 day notice instead of the typical 2 weeks. I am not only afraid of my bosses reaction, but am afraid that this month will be a virtual living hell for me.

Also, we have had the managers to several other stores in the company leave in the past few months and the District Manager recently called and asked me if I would be willing to relocate to a different state to become a store manager there. He understood the reasons that I declined (having recently purchased a house and wanting to be close to my parents). I like the DM and I feel the need to write a separate letter to him, letting him know how thankful I am that he considered me for the position and that I’m sorry for quitting at such an inconvenient time for the company, but I felt that I had to choose between my family and my job; and my family will always come first (a concept that is not known to my boss).

Basically, the main reason that I have decided to quit is because I don’t feel that I need to go on being treated this way, but I don’t really want to come out and say it because I want to do this in the nicest way possible.

My questions are, how do I gently break the news? With the busy time lasting from now through January, should I give a more generous month, or stick to the two weeks? And if she does react as badly as I think she will, should I simply tell her that I don’t have to stay and I can leave right then?

I don’t want to burn bridges, but I also don’t plan on needing a good reference from her, considering that I would like to get out of retail completely.

Thank you for your time
(I hope you like to read!) :)

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Why are you giving 30 days instead of two weeks? I have no idea. You hate your boss and your company doesn’t take action even though your boss is so bad that employees are quitting becuase of it.

Penelope

I have been working for an attorney at a law firm for nearly six (6) years (he pays the firm every two weeks for my salary, etc. but I am considered his employee not one of the firm). I have not had a raise in 4 years and am actually making less money now than the last few years due to insurance increases. I am also entitled to two weeks of vacation per year, but because I do everything (i.e., filing, drafting motions, handling clients and courts) I can never take my vacation or even call in sick. Over the last several years he has promised me a raise but never comes through. Although he is a wonderful boss, I feel extremely let down and it has made me become resentful and burnt out. He has decided to part ways with the current firm and move on to a different firm taking me with him. The firm that we have worked at together for the last six years has offered me a nice pay increase to stay with them with yearly reviews and potential pay increases. I feel like if I accept this position I will betray him but at the same time I feel like if I pass up this opportunity I will betray my family. If I do decide to accept the position how would I go about addressing same with my boss? PLEASE HELP!

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You are trying to decide between your boss who has screwed you over and your family? Is this for real? And, on top of that, this is not personal. It’s not your boss or your family. It’s business. It’s your career. Your boss stinks. He’s a dead end. The firm sees your value. Go where people value you.

–Penelope

I want to thank you, Penelope, for answering my question. I have decided to give the normal two weeks (instead of 30 days) and do exactly as you said. My boss was recently extremely rude to me and then had the nerve to tell me that I was being snippy with her. It put me over the edge. I will let her know that I’m going to leave and if she throws a fit, I don’t even have to stick around for those two weeks. I will be giving my notice in just a few days and I’m so glad that I will no longer be treated this way.
Thanks again for your input. It’s always nice to have the support of others.

I need some advice about this situation - I have been working for a small company for about three months - the pay is minimal, no benefits, and disrespectful bosses. I have interviewed for a job with the state (great pay, great benefits, a better for me) and now have to do a longer assessment and another interview for the job. Should I go ahead anad tell my current boss what I am doing, though I think she will fire me on the spot? Or just fudge the reasons for the time off (without pay) until I get a firm offer? I hate fudging, but I also don’t want to be in the position of losing the job and not getting the second one.

Thanks!

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You absolutely should not tell a boss you are taking time off to interview for another job. Don’t tell a boss you are looking for another job until you tell your boss you are quitting becuase you have an offer.

-Penelope

I once quit my job by cake. I had a cake made that said “I quit” on the top of it in icing. It was done out of sarcasim, however, the boss seemed to think it was a sweet gesture….go figure.

I am interviewing for another job and the application has a release form for references. Should I tell my boss? If I don’t get the job I plan on staying at my current position so I don’t want to put myself in a bad situation. But I don’t want to shock her with a call from them… Can I ask in the interview for them not to call?

I have been working at this office of about 6 months. I sometimes have good days there but on the other hand when it get busy there or if someone is out or if you are covering for someone. Like the girl who is on materanity leave.Who has not called to say she is coming back.I just feel like I am always being rushed to the point. That I make mistakes. I think that people should take a little extra time to prevent mistakes instead of rushing and making double the work or even triple the work. My employee is always asking me what I am doing or if I am done with something that she just gave me.It stresses me out. Because when I started there I did not know the girl I was working with was pregant. I was suppose to be her assistant.Now she is gone and the boss thinks that everything should be done all in one day in a rush or if not sooner.Then you get treated like a child when there is a mistake. Laking 1 person and when other people go on vaca bothers me because all in general I try me best to get as much done as possible. And no one even me recognizes me for it.Should I stay? I am not sure.

Hello..I am finally leaving a very stressful job. The job never had to be so stressful, but the boss lacks very important social and communication skills. Most days, it’s grumpy, angry, quiet, and of course I’m supposed to know what she’s thinking. One problem is that she never cared to really train me, so I learned most of it by getting yelled at, or having another co-worker tell me I’m wrong (in a not so nice tone). I learned quickly, but the boss still has a problem with giving a “blanket” yelling to anyone that happens to be there. I have stayed 2 1/2 years, but it’s time to go. Now, a nice girl has come to replace me and the boss wants ME To train her. I am giving a 2 1/2 month notice, but find myself being her teacher, while the boss/owner says nothing. It’s not the girl’s fault that she’s new, and I think it’s only fair that someone shows her the ropes, but I also feel my boss is using me to do her job. Do you think it’s wrong to leave earlier than this notice I gave? I’m not normally difficult, but feel that I want to be out from this. Any input? Thanks.

Should I quit if I feel that my boss started to hate me. She crossed out work that I drafted to her for a review and rewrote them herself. I heard that she fired many people before and also so many others quit because they did not like to work with her. Many say my boss is kinds of evil as she never admires when one does a good job (as if she thinks it’s normal and every single one can do so)but when she finds work that is unfavorable to her, she blames fiercely like you’ve just done the most stupid things in the world. She even says, for example, “dont show your idiocy even if you are an idiot”.

Well, I do not feel good being with her and want to quit today or tomorrow but the problem is I still do find another job and also i have responsibility to take care of my parents who now retired.

Thank you for your suggestion.