PLEASE don't tell us to internalize our job dissatisfaction. While I agree that people can lose perspective and turn into bitter complainers, it is often important to acknowledge that the source of their anger and frustration IS valid and if there is nothing they can do about it (i.e. change the incompetent fools who manage them), they should need to find another job and get out of an environment that will ultimately destory their self-esteem. Perhaps we are saying the same thing–that taking responsibility for your happiness is what you need to do, rather than blame others. But it is easy to feel trapped in a job and then just blame yourself for not being more positive–and that's a vicious, self-destructive cycle.

I think we are pretty much in agreement: You need to take action to make your life enjoyable.

That means either making the situation you have into something good, or changing the situation you have. But merely complaining about what you have is a no-go, at least for me.

Not that I haven't stayed somewhere and complained. I have. But I think we each strive to get faster and faster at identifying which situation can be improved and which should be abandoned.

BTW, here's a piece I wrote on this topic — about a time i took too long to get myself out of a bad situation:

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2003/04/dont_wait_until_you_bottom_out.html

Absolutely couldn't agree more. No one is going to make my job (or my life) for me. It all starts with me. This transcends over to personal life too. Sure, stuff happens, and bad knocks come my way. If i complain about these things instead of saying "here's what i am going to do about it", well, it's my own fault then. If I am a killjoy and source of sour grapes, well who wants to work with that, be married to that, be friends with that, or related to that? Nope, I am responsible for my attitude just like I am responsible for how I come across at work. If I truly am working with or for the spawn of satan, then I need to move on. That's only possible if I have that as an option. That option is only possible if I have taken care of myself financially. Taking care of myself financially let's me move on! With a smile, of course!

Here's a thought that occurred to me as I read the comments and thought about my own work life: One key way to manage your own happiness is actively doing something to eliminate the things that make you unhappy. You don't always have to quit your job - sometimes people use the mobility of today's job market as an enabler to avoid confronting problems. While it is often an appropriate thing to do, we should not quit just because we are afraid to confront trouble. Sometimes we have to take a risk that can lead to change in the organization we belong to.

Here's a classic case of someone unhappy in their job and taking it out on others. Classic train wreck: http://www.thestranger.com/lineout/2006/07/fired_kexp_dj_clears.php#more

While he may have a valid case, his lack of emotional intelligence negates that validity.

Yes and no on the interacting with others at home thing. If I come home to a blaring TV, I want to hide in my room - just like high school.

If I come home to a quiet, empty home, I have no pressure, no need to *do* anything. It's one of the few things I miss about being single.

I know, I'm insane. :)

I would agree with this finding to a great extent, but there are a number of nagging issues that remain to be resolved. The study quoted indicates that peoples' moods are effected to a greater degree in early morning, mood-setting events, but it doesn't explore why. My personal experience in this regard is that people are more impacted by early events out of wish fulfillment. When something good (or bad) happens early in the morning, people have a tendency to view this as "It's a good [or bad] day." Not, "It's a good [or bad] moment," but an entire day. Five minutes into your day, and you've already decided how the next 23 hours and 55 minutes are going to be coloured.

Having worked at Savannah River Site, where there's hardly a chance to experience a good commute, I also know that I would encounter nothing throughout my workday but testy people. Even though I might be capable of living in the moment and avoid wish-fulfillment, when everyone around you is bound and determined to have a bad day, it's hard to experience anything but a series of bad moments whenever you encounter such a group.

Of course, in the end, I did take responsibility for my own happiness. I left.

'Your bad mood at the office is from you, not the job'

INCORRECT.

I drove to work in a perfectly lovely mood this morning. I sat down- logged on my computer, made a cup of tea, and still felt perfectly lovely.

Now, however (and i've only been here two hours!) i am in a disgusting mood- and IT IS- oh it VERY MUCH IS the job…

And the answer is not as simple as just leaving and finding something else. This job is too well paid to do such a thing. And i do have a second job (which pays hardly anything- but i'm doing it because it is interesting and fulfilling, only i only have time at the weekends to do it)…

SO BLEH.

Anyone who thinks this has NOT worked in my industry - it is hard to keep a great mood when a mentally ill narcissist is throwing coffee cups at your secretary's head or having a screaming fit down the hall. And of course, most workplaces in my industry do not have "No Asshole" policies so this stuff is tolerated as long as the screamer is bringing in a few bucks. Welcome to the practice of law, folks, don't forget to bring your bottle of Tums. If you want to keep your good mood, move to a place where management is responsible and colleagues are expected to behave as though sane (there are a few).