What your fake name says about your personality type

detail of Blue-Yellow-Red from Colorfields (1974) by Gerhard Richter

This past week I culled the email list of people who recently took my personality type test. I had to sort through a lot of snippy emails that a filter won’t decide on. Example:

First name: poop
Last name: poop

First name: I don’t
Last name: Give a fuck

Then I thought: if you don’t give a fuck, why not just type sldkfjs?

Then I realized you can tell a lot about someone from how they answer even a question like that. And since I had their personality test results right next to their fictional name choices, I spent way too much time looking for patterns.

Here’s what I found.

ISxP types use the same name for both first and last. Efficient and minimal. They don’t care what the reader thinks, but they took the test so they want the results.

ENTJ and INTJ types write classic no-BS placeholders like sdf or lkj. It’s the fastest possible answer, typed by someone who already learned to type properly.

ENFx types used real names, as if someone might be looking over their shoulder. Which makes sense, because ENFx types tend to function as if someone is always looking at them.

When I saw the name Bob Dylan I didn’t even need to check the test result to know it was an ENTP. All the clever celebrity names came from ENTPs.

The defensive answers came from INFJs because they are so fast to assume someone’s trying to get something from them. Examples:

First: Not telling
Last: You

First: Wouldn’t you
Last: Like to know

First: None of your
Last: Business

Also, it’s so INFJ to take the time to let the questioner know the question itself is out of line.

What did I learn from all this?

I am not kidding when I say I can often tell someone’s personality type from one sentence. Personality patterns show up everywhere. Even in something as trivial as filling out a name on a form.

We like to think we are wildly unique individuals. But personality type patterns are remarkably consistent. Once you see them, you start seeing them everywhere.

Which brings me to this week’s office hours. On Thursday from 5–6 pm ET I’ll show you how to type people quickly, and we’ll practice on your friends — or enemies. Watching someone do this in real time is the fastest way to learn.

Mark your calendar.

And, here are this week’s personality type posts:

INFP: Am I an INFP because of childhood trauma?

ENFP: Is ENFP just a euphemism for my ADHD?

INFJ: Why INFJs don’t write

INTJ: The system works. That’s the problem.

ENFJ: Why ENFJs don’t leave when everyone else does

ENTJ: Secret indulgence of ENTJs: Arguing about a system no one will change