My 9/11 Letter to Teresa
I was at the World Trade Center when it fell. I write about it every year on 9/11.
When I’ve kept a gratitude journal I’ve always had in the back of my head: this is not good, I need to add all my not-gratitude. But I have been able to see that the exercise of being grateful in one area of my life makes me more grateful in other areas.
So I decided to thank people I’ve had in my mind for a long time but never really thanked. One of those people was A., the woman I was working with on 9/11.
A. and I sat next to each other at the startup we worked for. I had no understanding of what we were selling. That really bothered A. and she tried to distance herself from me. I also had no understanding of where we were working, so every day when I went out for lunch, I’d get lost on the way back.
On 9/11, A. and I were the only two people who stopped working to go outside. A did something really nice that day. She said, “I’ll go with you. Otherwise you’ll never find your way back to the office.”
We stood next to each other. She decided there was a better place to stand. I trailed her. She pushed through the crowd to see and I followed. When the first Tower fell, she was gone. I didn’t see her again until we went back to the office four weeks later.
I recently googled her. It didn’t take a lot. She’s still in tech sales. I emailed her in less than a minute she emailed back. Then we got on the phone. I said, “I haven’t seen you since that one week we were back in the office.”
“Oh yeah. Then you were fired.”
“I was fired? I thought we couldn’t work there because it was toxic.”
“Well, we probably shouldn’t have worked there. But I did. You didn’t work there because you were fired.”
The conversation went on like that. I remembered why I hated the job.
Still, I kept looking for people I have never thanked. I always regretted not having any contact info for the woman on Wall St. who found me stunned, completely covered in debris, unable to move. She walked with me for hours and hours to get to her Upper West Side apartment. She bought me a pair of shoes from a street vendor. She got into a very long line to get me water.
I think of Teresa each year. How kind she was. I don’t think I said five words to her the entire day. But we spent the day together walking up all of Manhattan, and she would look at me and see what I needed. Over the years I think repeatedly, how could I not get any information about her? Not even a last name. She had Nino’s contact info though. I think she never wanted to remember anything about that day again.
Not having a way to thank her directly means I can write a letter to all the Teresas. To all the people who found someone completely shocked and shattered the morning of 9/11:
Thank you for taking care. To hold your hand meant so much. I can still sense that moment when the person holding my hand felt steady like they knew where to go. Such an intensely human connection. And I’m happy that I can tell you — whoever you are — how much it meant on 9/11. Even if the person is not thanking you directly, they remember, and it’s a nice memory to have.
Hi. Why is this piece so shocking to me. But it is.
You were so vulnerable, so on the edge of the end.
And then people, strangers, helped you survive.
I had a thought that people like Teresa were actually
angels, angelic presences, if you believe in that. I think
I do although I have ever met one and to be truthful,
no one has ever saved me or anyone
in my family from terminal disaster. You were saved so you
could live your life and achieve your purpose. You are in so many ways blessed.
Yes Jane, I think you’re right. It’s a beautiful thought that Teresa was an angel in the flesh. Usually they don’t show themselves. I was once in a terrible place in my life when I was walking the familiar street to my home and, out of the blue, and with no prior intention, I walked into the library, went straight to a section and picked two books off the shelves without hesitation. Those books were exactly what I needed. I am forever grateful for the angelic nudges.
I’ve been reading your 9.11 posts for the past 15ish years.
Thank you for always helping me honor the memory of that day.
Your words today – your gratitude to a coworker and to a stranger – are some of your most moving.
Peace to you, sister.
Thanks for always coming back to read.
Penelope
Wonderful post!!!!
Firstly, I have to apologize for not being around so much.
I began following you years ago. Like before the farmer.
Anywho…. this post here and your reminder of the emotions flying around, the effects on people. You among them and a couple of my family there about this event.It’s always a reminder to appreciate the now. What we have in the moment because that moment can vanish.
Thank you, bless you, glad you made it through, and I’ll be following along again Penelope.
thank you for writing and sharing, and helping all of us remember where we were when the towers fell…
may it be that we all appreciate others for how they have helped us catch our breath and get through and beyond tragedies like this!
blessings and peace to you Penelope :)
I was on my Secondary School bus,Susan driving, not John.Day before my birthday.
I’m so glad you survived. We are not friends but you matter to me.
Please keep writing about it.
Thank You