Online course: Best practices for leveraging INTJ strengths (and how to be a likable INTJ )
This course includes four days of video sessions and email-based course materials. You can purchase this course for anytime, on-demand access. The cost is $195.
INTJs are only 2% of the world’s population, and female INTJs are the most rare of all types. However, the most common type on this blog among women is INTJ, which is statistically amazing. Maybe every female INTJ in the whole world reads this blog. And almost all the super high-level men I coach are INTJs (Mr. Famous is an INTJ.)
Sometimes I feel like I know more about INTJs than about my own type, ENTJ. In every job I’ve had, the person I’ve worked most closely with has been an INTJ. I realize, in hindsight, that even as a twentysomething I would seek them out. Melissa is an INTJ, and she reminds me of that every time I suggest that she has done something wrong. She is incredulous. She reminds me how rare it would be for an INTJ to be incompetent. And she’s right. Which is probably why I always want to work with INTJs.
Of course this means that I am always the front person. I’m the one who raises the money for my startups because my INTJ thinks the song and dance is BS. I’m the person who has to hire all the entry level people because the INTJ would rather do the work himself than have to deal with people who have no experience. I am the person who has to sit in the office with no windows because the INTJ says he would never have agreed to rent that office and I shouldn’t have either.
My oldest son is an INTJ so I’m obsessed with reading what makes INTJs fulfilled in adult life. Melissa is one of my son’s favorite people, and I learn so much about INTJs from watching them together. For example, that picture up top is Melissa and my son having a great time.
And this picture is what it looks like when you ask INTJs to make it look like they are having a great time to other people. (Yes, that is my son pulling out his book at a meal.)
So often when I’m coaching an INTJ, I find myself wishing I could introduce them to each other. When Melissa’s recruiting business took off so that she didn’t really need to work for me anymore, she kept doing courses with me because she loves interacting with all the INTJs. In fact, it was her idea to do a course for INTJs. She said everyone would sign up because it’s so exciting to not have to deal with the other types.
This, of course, is a uniquely INTJ perspective. ESFPs, for example, would love to meet any type in an online course. And we will talk about things like this—how INTJs think really differently from other people, and how to prevent that unique perspective from getting the INTJ into trouble. After all, this is definitely not the most well loved personality type in the office.
In fact, it might be the most loathed type in the office. So we will talk about how to get those coworkers on your side while continuing to keep those people on track.
If you want to see the details of the course, they are here. And go there to sign up as well.
Now, I’m going to tell you a story:
I am starting a program where I email people information about their type each week. I wanted to make sure the information I selected is what that particular type would like, and then it occurred to me I should just hire someone who is each type to write the emails about their type. So I wrote a very short description of what I’m looking for. Basically ten separate paragraphs about five positive and five negative traits of that type that most people wouldn’t know.
Here are some examples of what people sent back to me after I hired them:
The ESTJ decided she should critique someone else’s list, she wouldn’t generate her own.
The INFJ was insulted by all the negative traits so there were ten positive traits on the list.
The ISTP didn’t write paragraphs. He just made a list of positive and negative traits.
The ENTJ’s assistant called to ask if she could get paid double what I offered so she could outsource it.
The INFP couldn’t find personality traits that seemed on target. So he came back with one paragraph.
The ENTP sent twenty paragraphs because she had so many good ideas for what to write that she couldn’t stop.
The ISTJ said he did research about personality type and decided it was stupid.
The INTJ was absolutely the ONLY person who was able to just do the assignment and send back ten paragraphs.
That’s when I knew I definitely had to do a course with only INTJs.
So join me and Melissa and a bunch of INTJs I admire, and we’ll show you best practices for being an INTJ, avoiding personality type pitfalls, and finding the best way to structure your life to get what you want.
The price is $195.
I was going through one of those “most popular” lists and came back to this blog after what seems like forever, (way too many bookmarks). To my delight, I find a whole course on the very thing I happen to be studying…Personality! You had my attention at most of the readers here are INTJ females. Naturally, I am curious to know what is keeping the attention of my fellow INTJ cohorts…I am also curious to know if any other INTJ women find that they constantly take assessments which result in something most men get. Have any of your readers also taken the Fascination Assessment? I’d be interested to learn how those results work with the Meyers-Briggs assessment results in order for us to capitalize on our strengths.
Hi Penelope. I’m an adoring fan. I took the Meyers Briggs test awhile back after one of your personality posts and came up with INFJ. After reading the descriptions and felt I was a better INTJ than INFJ. So I took the test again TRYING to get a INTJ but it came up INFJ again. The INFJ part about wanting to save the world is totally true, but everything else points to INTJ – I even would have done your assignment correctly. Will there be any insight in the class into “wanna-bes” from neighboring personalities?
I think it’s funny when friends and family rave about something you’ve done and demand to know your secrets for landing a plum job, creating a delicious recipe, organizing cupboards, or getting a good night’s sleep. So you tell them. They’re reaction is always the same. “That sounds too hard.”
Penelope,
You write well and there is no doubt you know the effect of storytelling. We still don’t know what the course is really about though. I had to re-read the post since I wasn’t sure whether my reading comprehension had gone out through the window but even on a second read I’m clueless. I therefore read all your answers and skimmed/read the remaining 140 comments and there’s still nothing. I’m not the only INTJ saying this. Many of the commenters also seem to be native speakers so it’s unlikely just a language barrier.
8 pm EDT is not a great time for people in Europe and spending 200 dollars to be awake at the wrong time of the day is a fair bit of money for the inconvenience.
How much best practice(s) can there be to being what we already are? Getting to hang with people you admire is not a strong selling point. You want us to believe you are an expert at INTJs who are your target audience for this post. Please show that in your post.
Sam,
Thanks for asking about the contents of this course. I posed similar questions earlier on. But they must have been too boring to merit a reply.
I am always asking “what’s in it for me?” because I am tactical and down-to-earth. My partner callesthis aspect of my personality the “show me the money.”
These comments may sound mercenary. But I am working on a start-up and I am in my 60’s-my time is limited.
I keep getting different results on these tests and I also feel a lot like none of the descriptions I’ve read about the types fit me. I don’t know if I’m just taking the wrong ones, or if having Asperger’s affects my answers at all (probably not, since Penelope is able to pinpoint her own personality type and that of at least two other people with it). But I keep looking at the questions and going, “Well, whether this is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ depends on the situation…”
The “I” is the only consistent letter I seem to get. :/ I think INFJ and INTJ are ones that come up a lot, though. One of my friends and I were trying to figure this out the other day and I was like, “Which is the type for the person who will cry over other people’s problems yet also goes around making them cry…”
Hi Wendy,
It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of your personality as analyzed using the Myers Briggs tool (INxJ).
I can relate. The first time I took the test, I was 14 and it was a really long test in a paper book (I think ~200 questions). The result was INFJ.
Over the years, I randomly took the test online, and the results weren’t always INFJ, but they didn’t stray far in any consistent way, except during graduate school when I was thinking and working a lot, and I scored INTJ a bunch. Afterwards, my scores trended back towards INFJ.
So, yeah, the tests are all different and some aren’t as rigorous and well-designed as others. In addition, you could be in a different frame of mind at points in your life, which could affect your results.
I think it’s best to take the test as honestly as you can and visualize your results over time as a scatter plot, weighing the results from the most reputable tests more highly. Then you can use the area where your results cluster.
Based on what you wrote, I would guess that you are an INFJ like me. I cry over other people’s problems all of the time, which isn’t typical of INTJs. Not sure about your age, but when I was younger and my social skills weren’t as good (I’m on the spectrum, too), I did make people cry.
Things got a lot better when I decided to learn social skills like I studied any other subject. Also, managing to find a very healthy environment for myself completely changed my life.
Hope this helps.
Christine
I tried the Myers-briggs test but it was pretty arbs. I mean answers vary according to mood. Do you ever doubt the test or your reading off it?
Also related: The whole article below about the test was pretty good but i don’t know if links display
http://www.vox.com/2014/7/15/5881947/myers-briggs-personality-test-meaningless
d.
“Why the Myers-Briggs test is totally meaningless”
” Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is probably the most widely used personality test in the world
About 2 million people take it annually, at the behest of corporate HR departments, colleges, and even government agencies. The company that produces and markets the test makes around $20 million off it each year.
The only problem? The test is completely meaningless.
“There’s just no evidence behind it,” says Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania who’s written about the shortcomings of the Myers-Briggs previously. “The characteristics measured by the test have almost no predictive power on how happy you’ll be in a situation, how you’ll perform at your job, or how happy you’ll be in your marriage.”
“But there is something wrong with CPP peddling the test as “Reliable and valid, backed by ongoing global research and development investment.” The company makes an estimated $20 million annually, with the Myers-Briggs as its flagship product. Among other things, it charges between $15 and $40 to each person who wants to take the test, and $1,700 to each person who wants to become a certified test administrator.
Why would someone pay this much to administer a flawed test? Because once you have that title, you can sell your services as a career coach to both people looking for work and the thousands of major companies — such as McKinsey & Co., General Motors, and a reported 89 of the Fortune 100 — that use the test to separate employees and potential hires into “types” and assign them appropriate training programs and responsibilities. Once certified, test administrators become cheerleaders of the Myers-Briggs, ensuring that use of the outdated instrument is continued.”
Skepticism is frequently the same as ignorance. If the results are recognizable by the participants as correct, the results are correct. There are a great many things that are true that academic dopes haven’t proven.
Just a thought.. 89 of the top 100 companies use the testing, to best suit people for positions? This sounds like proof that it works… And is accurate.. They are top 100 companies for a reason are they not?
I like you too.
This line from the course description made me laugh out loud: “For example, did you know most people do not care if they accomplish anything on a daily basis?”
I’m an INTJ and I don’t have any problem with likability. It’s just basic social skills to filter what you say and not be a pompous jerk. I should stop commenting right here before I prove myself wrong!
Those photos are fake.
When you interrupt an INTJ while reading ( if you are able to get their attention at all), there is a scowl, and a finger goes onto the page to mark the stopping place.
No happy hugging.
Be with those who help your being. (Rumi) Discovering this website and class couldn’t have come at a better time. Looking forward to sharing it with so many like-minded.
I| really need this online course . I definitely had to do a course with only INTJs. Thanks
Why no mention of what the INTP did when you hired them to write ten paragraphs?
Is that because the INTP is still thinking about it, got distracted, and never sent you a reply?
(I’m an INTP.)
My husband is an INTJ, I am an INFJ. I just took one of your courses and liked it. I would love to get my husband to take this course, but I know he won’t cause he thinks he is perfect and he has a great job that he loves and is great at, and of course doesn’t need any outside help from anyone. ;)
I’m also a intj, but used to test as a intp (just 11% j recently). I’ve been a boss for about 12 years, so perhaps that has something to do with the change. But this likable issue surprised me, people say I’m always smiling and I pride myself on hearing/reading people and figuring out how to make them happy as part of a team. But I definitely prefer to do things myself as long as I can justify it. I don’t think I’ve ever met another self-identified intj.
I’m INTJ and I can attest to all of that, just trying to get a group of them into a room together is nearly impossible and if you did, the tension would be really high, like there’s 20 elephants in the room, and all of them waiting to have an excuse to bolt to somewhere they are more comfortable.
No, I totally agree with some of the other INTJ ladies here, I don’t get to know people easily nor do I want to most of the time. I’d rather keep my own company or surround myself with others who are like minded, and your 2% figure sounds about right. Some think that’s social elitism but I just prefer my own space, and to be left to it.
I definitely married an INTJ, so I know I like that personality type. I’m not sure if I am one or not, since I think my type varies over the years (as I believe it’s supposed t0. Why do you think ITNJ’s are so damn good at knowing what’s right to do though? I always take their advice…is it just because they’re always thinking?!
INTJ’s are always thinking.. Sometimes there greatest downfall.. But we do seem to think everything through, over and over again I find.. INTJ are also very analytical, and very good problem solvers.. Once all has been thought out, they are typically very accurate.. :)
I thoroughly enjoyed your INTJ blog, being one myself. I was once in a position where I ‘had to’ be closer to an ESFJ, because the job demanded it, and although I did it, I also burned out completely after two years. I’m now (very happily) being back to my baseline INTJ, and not planning to migrate again, for ANY reason!
I never saw myself so well described as INTJ before :) you did an awesome job!
I am an INTJ, through and through… I have found that INTJ’s are the most self-aware and proficient at self-help… I have to admit, I am much more curious, at reading the blog than taking a course… Lol.. make sense? As to being a likable INTJ, we seem to find a way, if we need to be… Being liked is also feeling based.. Oh the pain!! Lol :-)
Hi,
I should take this course some time soon. Reading the text and the comments it’s great to see other INTJs perceptions.
I am an INTJ who played hard and risky and am pretty much at the edge of losing all bets (own business shut down, 2 kids to feed, educate and love). Struggling to remain centered now. Developing n-strategies that can put my financial life back on track.
There is always a way to win.
Your article was fun to read.
Is there a syllabus or any more information about the class? As an idealist, I would like to think it is possible to learn about honing in on my strengths as an intj by taking a class. I can’t help but want to know more before coughing up $195.
Sincerely
-Kate
Hi, Kate. There’s a syllabus if you click the link to sign up. But there is also a 100% refund policy, and I’m pretty easy going about refunds. So you should just take the course, and if you don’t like it, email me to get a refund. That said, you sound like an INFJ and not an INTJ. And INTJ would never in a million years refer to themselves as an idealist. So you should take the INFJ class. There were a lot of INFJs in the INTJ course — it’s a common error.
Here’s a link to the INFJ course.
http://www.quistic.com/seminar/be-your-real-infj-self-without-feeling-frustrated
Penelope
Yeah this is too expensive if it was 1o times less I’d probably buy it. because I find everything you write to be so interesting. If not for that I wouldn’t consider it because the idea of buying information on the internet is so foreign to me.