I hope I get to travel on Sarah Palin’s plane
I wish I didn’t love watching Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican convention so much. I love her hair. I love her outfit. I love that she is a great speaker even without a lot of time to train for the convention. I love her sort-of-Wisconsin accent that I sort-of hear myself getting the longer I live in Wisconsin.
I saw her husband hold the baby when she talked about family. I saw her husband give the baby away when she talked about how strong her marriage is. I saw the strain in his face when he smiled. He is a stay-at-home dad, and she didn’t mention that. He just quit his job after twenty years at work. She didn’t mention that.
I can relate to all of that.
I could follow yesterday’s post with a post clarifying my disdain for her. Believe me, I hate her politics. Her politics are so foreign to me that I don’t think I’ve ever even spoken in person with anyone who honestly believes rape victims should not get abortions.
But really, I’ve been like her. Like when she signed up for the PTA to make her kid’s school better. I tried that. It sucked. The lack of power and influence you have in the PTA sucks. It’s the tip of the iceberg of why it sucks to be at home with kids if you are a woman who is a leader — when there is no one to lead, but leading is in your DNA.
On some level, I admire her. I understand how women with big jobs and young kids manage: Compartmentalize, prioritize, multi-task. I am great at that stuff, and so are all the women I know who have big jobs and young kids.
But there is a spot about Palin as VP that mystifies me: Travel. In my life, I have found there is no way to have time with kids when you travel because there is no chance to carve out time; you’re just not there.
And you can’t average it out—kids don’t add up the cumulative time over a month. Maybe an older kid does, but not my three-year-old. Three days away from a three-year-old is a lot. Even for a three-year-old who is supposedly used to it, like mine. Every time (even now) when I’m gone, my husband, who is sort of my ex-husband but not yet, is right there, in the house, taking care of my sons. And it still feels bad for it not to be me.
So I love watching Palin because she makes me believe that I can handle all the travel I do. She is so pretty and capable and somehow, if I ignore that her daughter is pregnant and her husband is lost and her special needs child does not have a mom who is meeting the doctors and therapists and specialists involved in the child’s treatment. If I ignore that, I think that I can travel five times a month and not have a nervous breakdown from the sadness of leaving my kids.
I want to be that. I want to be the CEO who can travel all the time. Because I get invitations to travel to appear on TV, and to travel to deliver speeches, and to travel to wrangle investment in the company. And recently I have been that CEO: I traveled every week for twelve weeks, sometimes twice a week. And everyone said, how do you do it? And I said I don’t know. Because I didn’t know if I was pulling it off or pulling my family apart. I wasn’t sure.
And then I took a break. And when it was time to start traveling again, I had a panic attack. I was driving with my kids to the farm and I remembered how I would be traveling again and I started crying uncontrollably and I snapped at the kids and I drove the car to the farmer‘s house and told him to drive up and down the dirt road for a few minutes while I called my friend who is the only friend I know with both a venture-backed company and the mom responsibilities for a young child, and I told her I can’t do it anymore and she told me she doesn’t know why I didn’t have a breakdown earlier.
She said stop with the speeches and the media and the sky-high aspirations. And after a while I stopped crying and I said okay. And I got back in the car. And I drove to the farm. And we played with chicks and baby pigs and cooked over an open fire.
And then I resumed my travel schedule.
Because I am trying to figure out what’s right. And canceling everything is not what’s right for me. I did the PTA. It sucks. And I’ve done travel every week. It sucks. I don’t know how Palin will do it.
But part of me wants to watch. Will she take her baby? (I’ve done that. It’s impossible to focus.) Will she travel with a nanny? (Done that. It’s awkwardly intimate.) Will she cut back on travel? (Done that. People started doubting me.) What will she do? I want to see because I need some new ideas.
Penelope, I too, apologize for all of the haters on here. You raise good points, and valid, searching questions.
And I don’t think that Palin’s situation can be compared to that of the Obama’s. I’ve watched friends have young babies recently. These are died in the wool feminists who, during pregnancy, said that their husbands would be pulling equal weight with the kids, etc. And mostly, those husbands do. But what they’ve also found out is that it’s not that easy to substitute one parent for another…there’s something special about their relationship with their baby as mothers. And they’ve found that they desperately need their own mothers more than ever for advice and guidance. These are both things — a relationship with a new baby and providing guidance to her own daughter, about to become a mother — that Palin seems to be turning her back on with her choice.
Furthermore, we’re just starting to come to terms with the fact that as women, we can’t do it all. It’s just not possible. Inevitably, something suffers — including you, the woman. I think you articulate that point so well, Penelope. Sarah Palin is a different version of the same “mommy porn” that you posted about not long ago…and making mom’s across the country feel guilty about all they’re not doing as a result. I don’t think this is a step forward for women; it’s a huge step back, and I applaud you for speaking out about it.
Go to Your Views…thursday..sept.11..2008..in the Wisconsin State Journal,Madison,wisc……Read the letter by Erin Decker and maybe some of you will stop and realise the woman is YOU but she had the conviction and backbone to go for the gold and rise above that glass ceiling you and your like are still imposeing on women because they dare think different than you…pityful yes…shameful indeed
I don’t have kids & I am a woman with great career….honestly I don’t think the # of kids she has should matter for her ability to be a VP. I would not vote for her just because she is a woman, actually I would not vote for her because she is not running for office but McCain…what troubles me is that a 72 year old man, that lives in the cold war era who keeps changing his views just to fulfil his life-long dream of being a president. And Ms. Palin being so close to leading our great country in case he doesn’t make the 4-years. For me, woman or not, I care about the issues, and I can NOT relate at all to her or McCain. I hope people care enough about the issues and factor in education, life-experience, policy, health care, housing market, job security and availability etc….it scares me to think that if McCain wins, we will have conservative judges that will take this country 30 year back and keep us BOXED….I see I got carried away….she’s a great speaker, but no substance….or so i think….thanks for the post, and love your blog
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t think Sarah Palin could care less about all this back and forth about all the deep personal, ideological, and political issues that women face in life. Right now, Sarah Palin is living the dream in her own promised land. This is a woman who paraded herself around in “beauty” contests, or pageants, whatever you want to call them. I mean, what is the objective, the goal, of that exercise? Self gratification? Prize money? What? So whatever else is going on here, it seems to me that the essence of what is motivating Sarah Palin is the need to be in the spotlight, to be “the most beautiful” in the contest, to get the attention. As a bonus, if she wins, she thinks she gets to control other people’s lives. What she doesn’t realize is, where she is headed, even if McCain gets elected AND dies in office, she is NOT going to be in control. She will be controlled by the special interest power brokers who are putting her in office. And what’s wrong with that? After all, this is a person who has no qualms whatsoever about controlling our lives, especially those of women, right? I certainly don’t believe this woman is cut from the same cloth as those who came before her, who made it possible to even conceptualize a “glass ceiling.”
One of the problems I have always had with mandated motherhood is that, regardless of maternal instincts and genetic codes and wiring, unless it is really voluntary, it is a form of voluntary servitude, a form of slavery. Parenthood is bonded servitude no matter how you shake it. Once you have children, you are either a good parent or not, or worse. How you deal with and raise your children define you as a person, no matter what else you do with your life.
The other problem I have with the “no choice,” pro-life, right-to-life groups is that they are all that when it comes to making sure that every woman has to give birth, regardless of how the baby was conceived. But AFTER the baby is born, they are outta there, and it’s all welfare-to-work, let’s gut those social safety nets for everyone who really needs them. It is like federally mandated programs with no federally mandated funding. It’s your problem now, baby.
I have said this before, and I’m sticking to my guns. Carl Rove, John McCain and the Republican party couldn’t care less what women think or want. The selection of Sarah Palin as McCain’s running mate is designed to pit republican women against non-republican women, neutralizing your votes. ALL women are being manipulated here, and by extension, everyone else in this country as well.
Sorry to keep injecting politics into this discussion, and under different circumstances I’d probably be rooting for Sarah Palin. I don’t know what Penelope intended when she made this post, but this is ultimately about which political party gets to control our country for the next 4 years, not Sarah Palin’s bio and her family. Everyone should be crystal clear about what will happen if the Republicans continue to control the Executive Office, and they should pay special attention to the activities of Dick Cheney, that is, if they can actually get that information. Just a reminder that Cheney refuses to hand over internal documents and communications generated while he has been in office, documents that the Executive Office is required by law to preserve. Why, you might ask? Because Dick Cheney has decided that his office is not part of the Executive office, and is therfore exempt from that requirement. Now there’s a loophole for you! Lets see, is that creating a new branch of government, or is it breaking up an existing one?
This is why it is so important for this country to leave this Republican party behind. From Ronald “I don’t recall” Reagan to Bush’s phantom WMDs to this latest action by Cheney, the Republican party has clearly established itself as the party of fraud, deception, and manipulation.
Steve C.
Sorry, involuntary servitude was what I meant to say a couple of posts back.
I’m not a mother yet, but I totally think about what you’ve mentioned ALL the time…how will I successfully balance work and family? If a woman pursues a career, is it inevitable that the family will have to sacrifice? Is it fair to the children? Or maybe it’s good for them, especially the girls, to have their mother be a career role model? Penelope, you truly are a great role model…keep up the good work! :)
To John: Absolutely hilarious. You should write your own blog!
Penelope, interesting point of view. Keep writing.
> you’re at your computer. use google. there is
> much information. judge for yourself yeah or
> neigh but do you’re own homework.
We want to see your judgment on what’s good information and what is propaganda. It’s an intelligence and character test. You make the claims, you provide the evidence.
> and
> pretending not to be aware of these issues is
> ridiculous.
I’m aware of the lame lies the Republicans and Faux have put forward repeatedly for the past eight years, starting with WMDs that were never there and nonexistent threats from nonexistent “terrorists” all over the place. Only cowards like you were deceived.
> are you 8 years old?
Your spelling and punctuation skills seem to indicate that’s where your education level is. I haven’t made your mistakes since I was about eight.
Posted by John | September 6, 2008
So many people have stated how they loved Sarah Palin’s speech and her clothes. I’d like to point out —
1) Her speech was written by McCain’s camp BEFORE she was selected as VP. In fact they admitted they had to rewrite it because it was “too masculine” (their words).
2) Huffington Post has a story up that details Sarah Palin is being dressed by stylists since joining McCain’s campaign.
So let’s recap, she didn’t write her “amazing” speech nor does she pick out any of her designer outfits! This woman is more manufactured than Avril Lavigne AND Britney Spears.
Tell me again, what do you guys find so fascinating about Sarah Palin???
The thing I’m bothered about most here is the expectation that women can and still should do it all. That somehow Sarah Palin (with props unseen) is the new representation of what success looks like. This fiction promotes the old story–that if a woman struggles juggling work and home or falls short in one her both areas, it’s her problem, not the system’s. That somehow the individual woman is at fault if she is conflicted or can’t do it all — not our two-tiered society that defines power by work/income and devalues home life and children. Where are the voices calling for basic, civilized services for children? Advocating what we know that supports healthy families?? Shame on this country, the richest in the world that will not provide basic health care. Shame on the Sarah Palins in office who will not allow basic sex education to be taught in schools and then cut funds supporting programs for unwed teenage mothers. And a $700 billion bailout for Wall Street. This is beyond crazy; it’s obscene.
This is ONE scary blog,Penelope! WAKE UP!
get over the fluff! find HILLARY CLINTON a fascinating role model if you need one.
Ms. Palin is a religious zealot on a mission which will lead the US blindly into nothing but war.
If you plan to vote for her…PLEASE stay home and play with the kids!
I get that you pretty much had no political point to this post, and it was much more about the struggle to be a good mom, a good wife and a kick ass senior executive. I have no intention of voting for Sarah Palin and I too will be watching to figure out how she does it…because so far I am at a total loss as to how to be on a plane and handle a 70-80 hour work week with a 2 year old at home.
Thank you Penelope – I read you when i am having a hard time balancing it all (usually on sunday nights) you remind me that I am not alone.
-Sarah
Just checked in to see if this string was still alive and read the last post, an it kind of struck me: It must be like all the other claims being made by Sarah Palin and about Sarah Palin, it’s probably all bullshit…she doesn’t do all that stuff. If it get’s done, somebody else does it. That poor woman is in so far over her head, down must look like up to her. It’s kind of sad, really.
Steve C.
I literally “stumbled upon” this blog tonight. I am looking forward to reading old posts. I can relate to penelope’s perspective in a very real way. I am amazed at how much hate is written in response to this blog, really sad.
Just wanted to say this post spoke to me. Thanks!
I’ve had trouble with the Dumb but Nasty Environmental Criminal part of Palin. But maybe that’s just a hang-up of mine.
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