How much money do you need to be happy? Hint: Your sex life matters more
How much money buys happiness? A wide body of research suggests the number is approximately forty thousand dollars a year. I interviewed Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University, and he says once you have enough money to meet basic needs — food, shelter, but not necessarily cable “?incremental increases have little effect on your happiness.
Aaron Karo, comedian and author of the forthcoming book, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, responds to the number with, “If you want to draw a line in the sand, happiness is having enough money so you don’t have to move back in with your parents.”
To someone who just spent four years in college living off nine-thousand-dollar loan stipends, an increase to forty thousand means a lot — moving from poverty to middle class. But it’s a one-time rush. After you hit the forty-thousand-dollar-range money never gives you that surge in happiness again.
Twentysomethings who are looking for happiness from their careers will benefit from research about their parents’ choices. Richard Easterlin, professor of economics at University of Southern California says previous generations have proven that our desires adjust to our income. “At all levels of income, the typical response is that one needs 20% more to be happy.” Once you have basic needs met, the axiom is true: more money does not make more happiness.
So then one asks, what does matter? The big factors in determining happiness levels are satisfaction with your job and social relationships. And in case you found yourself slipping back to thoughts of salary, according to Easterlin, “How much pleasure people get from their job is independent of how much it pays.”
Unfortunately, people are not good at picking a job that will make them happy. Gilbert found that people are ill equipped to imagine what their life would be like in a given job, and the advice they get from other people is bad, (typified by some version of “You should do what I did.”)
Gilbert recommends going into a career where people are happy. But don’t ask them if their career makes them happy, because most people will say yes; they have a vested interest in convincing themselves they are happy. Instead, try out a few different professions before you settle on one. For college students, Gilbert envisions this happening with part-time jobs and internships at the cost of “giving up a few keggers and a trip to Florida over spring break.” But even if you wait until you enter the workforce, it makes sense to switch from one entry-level job to another; no seniority and scant experience means you have little to lose. So it’s an ideal time to figure out what will make you happy: Use a series of jobs to observe different professions at close range to see if YOU think they make people happy.
It’s simple, proven advice, but few people take it because they think they are unique and their experience in a career will be different. Get over that. You are not unique, you are basically just like everyone else. Gilbert can, in the course of five minutes, rattle off ten reasons why people think they are unique but they are not. For example: We spend our lives finding differences between people to choose teachers, band mates and spouses, so our perception of peoples’ differences is exaggerated… And then Gilbert gets to grapes: “If you spend seven years studying the differences between grapes, no two will look the same to you, but really a grape is a grape.”
So your first step is to stop thinking you’re a special case. Take Gilbert’s advice and choose a career based on your assessment of other people in that career. You next step is to focus on social relationships, because in terms of happiness, job satisfaction is very important but social relationships are most important.
And by social relations, most researchers mean sex — with one, consistent partner. So consider giving your career aspirations a little less weight than you give your aspirations for sex. For those of you who like a tangible goal, David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College says, “Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness. And then the diminishing returns begin to set in.” He adds, to the joy of all who are underemployed, “It’s true that money impacts which person you marry, but money doesn’t impact the amount of sex you have.”
Maybe all this research simply justifies the twentysomething tendency to hold a series of entry-level jobs and put off having children. Says Karo: “All we really want is to get paid and get laid.”
I’m quite happy being an asexual. My hand knows exactly what I want. It never shouts at me, runs off to play Farmville or Evony every single time I want to be intimate, drains my wallet on useless crap, or calls me worthless when I am the only one working. Heck, it even shoved the last girl I will ever have sex with out the door when enough was enough! Sad thing is, I’ve now been laid off for so long, it’s a miracle I am still alive. I am the master of job hunting. I research, spruce up my resume, use a neutral email account for business, have excellent references, and plenty of experience in my fields. I know how to nail an interview by promoting myself as the solution to the problem. I am confident in who I am, I dress for success, I am someone. I am a professional. So, instead of hiring the charismatic honest worker, the ADHD, assburger, and lazy get the jobs I would excel in. I came to the realization that Atlas Shrugged. My hard work is leeched by the moochers. There is no point anymore. I have never ever quit in my life and now for the first time, I am. I’m living out the rest of my days hanging out with my friends, having role-play online, and coming to terms with my fate. I made the mistake of letting my emotion get the better of me in college, so I suppose I deserve all of this even though at my last job, I was making it just fine. Oh well, at least I will die peacefully from starvation than to take my own live as a coward would.
wtf??
I feel it’s more of intimacy rather than sex.
Will you feel happy if you’re having plenty of sex but no intimacy? That would be no different from having paid sex with one, consistent partner.
Intimacy on the other hand, can lead to sex (although not 100% of the time). Now, you can’t pay someone to be intimate with you at a deep level.
I envision many of these comments were not made by people with families. My husband has a wonderful career it covers all our basic needs. My career moved more part-time so that i could be home with the kids but I still earned enough consulting to provide us with cable, a few nights out, vacations and different lessons for the kids.
My whole department was laid off, every bill we had increased ( gas, grocery, elect, water, insurance) We are making ends meet (barely) by cutting all extra expenses,and WE ARE NOT HAPPIER NOW!!!! Money is more important than I thought it was. My husband is so stressed out trying to put in over-time just to cover the mortgage and dentist bills that the last thing he wants to do is have sex ( we are monogamous–you will just have to trust me on this) . The kids cant take lessons, or even go on day trips: they are not happier. I am not happier: not being able to even get out of the house to see a movie.
Seriously, money is important, if we made enough money to cover just a little of silly, going out-fun time it would improve my happiness ten fold…or at least if i knew that if my car broke down I would have the money to fix it. I remember last year, we were very happy when I was working, that “extra money” does matter.
i agree that people want bigger and better things just to make it seem like they are better or have more money than others, but why should we care who has a nicer car or a bigger house than us. my mom always told me that just because they have nice things does not mean they are happy and can actually afford it. its just a fairytale for some people. Which i did not understand at first. I am happy in my middle sized house with my little car and my family, i can not understand why you need such bigger things like a house when all that really matters is who is inside the house!
reading this blog actually put a smile on my face because i have recently chosen a job that makes me happy for once. it was always about how much i got paid instead of what really made me happy. i made a significant pay cut but i am finally pursuing my career in the field i love.
I definately agree with you. I’m in school now and I’m feeling a lot of pressure from my family to choose a major that would bring in the most income even it I wouldnt enjoy as much. They think I should be in the medical field because there is a demand and the pay rate is pretty good. I however want to be a teacher. Even if I did make much more many as a physician I would be sacrificing personal satisfaction and happiness. Stick with what you love despite money.
Money will never buy my happiness, the social interactions and relationships I have with others will.
About eleven years ago a colleague of mine said he read a study that married men are happier than single men. However (at that time in 1999) single men earning over $150,000 per year are happier than married men.
In 2010 I figure it’s about $175,000.
As far as happiness goes, neither money nor sex or intimacy is the key. Happiness is a choice. You have to make it on your own, because no amount of anything outside you is going to change who you are and your own thoughts about yourself at your core. (though they can influence you to a more UNhappy state, if you put too much stock in them)
Concerning the influence of money on quantity of sex, I can speak from personal experience, Blanchflower’s position is bogus. It most certainly does influence it. When I had it, I got it. When I don’t, I didn’t. At least for some of us who aren’t married, the two go hand in hand. (yes, take that pun in whatever way you like)
Right now I am not happy with my job. I hate it and it makes me miserable. Ok maybe its the jackasses I work for… but whichever I am not happy. And because I have to work to support my family I am stuck for now. I hate that my unhappiness of work follows me home and where ever I go. I am really sorry that I honestly do take it home and out on my kids who don’t deserve it because they really do make me happy. I agree that once my basic financial needs were met that the stress would be less and I’d be able to get a job/career that makes me happy. My family and my “family” really are what gets me through the day not money and things.
Stephanie:
That’s why they call it “work,” and that’s why they pay you to do it.
Nobody forces you to come in each day. If you want to do what you love, do it. If you’re good enough at what you love (or, actually, even if you aren’t good enough!), you’ll be paid accordingly. Good luck!
Once I met my basic needs, making more money did not make me happy. I was blessed with a high paying job, but that included a lot of time spent working long hours. I would always go shopping I bought my dream car and many Gucci handbags thinking that buying material items would make me happy. I have come to learn that making purchases did not make me happy.
I agree that once our basic needs are met we are no more happier than a very rich person. In my opinion I think the enemy of happiness is adaptation. We adapt to things, the new car is no longer as shiny and amazing as it was the first time you bought it. I think that can also be applied to sex. Sex every now and then is amazing, it definitely increases happiness, but sex everyday I think is good, but not as amazing as when you don’t have sex for a while and then you do and you feel that euphoric moment. I do like this article, it makes a lot of sense. Once your basic needs are met, thats it; you are no more happier than a billionaire.
I also agree that sex is more important than money.
I am single now and for the last 4 months, I have had some money troubles so I was more focused on my finances to even think about sex, but when the thought of sex entered my mind it felt more stressful that I didn’t have anyone I could have sex with much more than the bills I had. But Its just
not sex, its good sex with someone you have a connection and a commitment with that makes the sex so worthwhile and valuable atleast in my opinion!
i want money about 2000$ plz sent me some one els
good and insightful!
Personally, I don’t think humans can every be completely happy :P
Always running after perfection!
How much money would I need? well just enough so I would never have to worry about money ever again lol!
Sure enough money could not buy happiness,because money is a necessity while happiness is a feeling.
Ones a person is comfortable in life his wealth starts losing it’s charm so he tries to acquire more and more to get the happiness back .
I think the happiness it is such a strange and complex filling. I think it can't be measured and can't be made studies on it as if was a math calculation. Happiness has so many faces for the different people and cultures.
I think this thread is a strange and complex thing… It just keeps going and going and going. Talk about Energizer Bunny – I signed up for this discussion in 2007 and it’s been a stream of consciousness ever since. Kinda cool.
I’ve always heard the theories about incremental increases in earnings having little effect on happiness and I think it is valid. Great post, Penelope.
This is certainly true.
Great post and an interesting topic!
Thanks for this post, Penelope!
There are always things in life that are going to cause us unusual amounts of unhappiness. But in my opinion I’d rather be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy. Although Im a poor student who is happy, I could equally be rich and happy!
28.500.000$
this is one of the best reads I’ve had n a while, i will be sure to recommend this to a couple of people, great job
i want to income any how i do every thing
It is all about cash flow, not capital although it does help create cash flow! if your smart =P.
Ok so here’s my situation maybe someone can give me a better insight. I’m turning 28 this year, married, just bought a house LI, NY and our household income is around $108k it’s about a 60/40 split me/wife. We live a comfortable life financially for right now. I work for a large company and I am not happy at all at work, I keep thinking that if I can find that “thing” that gives me a jumpstart (even if I have to take a pay cut to get there) that I will be much happier. In fact I think that if and when I find this dream job (which I really dont think exists) I will end up making more than double what I am making because I will become so good at it. But on the other hand I have this entrepreneurial pull to go off and start my own business which compared to my job situation right now, I am very secure like I don’t need to worry about getting laid off pretty much ever and I’m not trying to gloat. I’ve been at this crossroad for about 2 years now career wise and I keep changing my mind and thinking about it so much that I end up doing nothing about it. Anybody else in my shoes that can give some advice? I try to take a positive outlook on my life especially outside of work but all I think about is work, my career and how I can try to make it better and eventually become financially independent.
“…thinking so much about it that you end up doing nothing about it” = exactly. Confusion = procrastination. Confusion can be sort of a distraction tactic the mind throws up in order to prevent you from going for the thing you really want to do but are scared of admitting to yourself and others, although not knowing you I can’t say for sure that’s what it is in your case.
Please look me up on
Oh I almost forgot, my outlook on $$ is that in order to live comfortably, one needs financial freedom and because everyone has a different opinion on that, my definition is house paid off (biggest payment anyone takes on besides school loans) cars paid off and able to take one or two nice vacations a year. Am I asking for two much? To me that’s a middle class lifestyle however I suppose in today’s day the middle class is becoming nonexistent. People are either struggling or borderline struggling or extremely wealthy. I’m not saying my only drive is about money and paying off the bills, but it’s having a negative affect on the rest of my life because it’s all I think about however this article put some things in perspective for me and I appreciate that. Thanks!
This is always a good question to ask yourself as you progress through your career.
I’m of the opinion that money is necessary for survival in today’s society. However some of the best memories I have were during the first two years of starting my own business with less than 12K/yr. Being financially comfortable is something that I strive for but I feel that true happiness comes from within ourselves and mine is fueled more so by working to make my world a better place rather than seeing what I gross at the end of the year.
The ad made a lot of sense. I worked in the same job for 26 years,hated change i fooled myself into believing that i was happy with my job.after my job was done away with i realized how miserable i really was.
This is an very interesting article,about money and sex and impact they on our lives.Money and sex doesn’t make you happy but it does add to the great scheme of thing’s.If don’t have money I don’t have sex that often on the other hand if I do have I have sex on a regular bases. But that still don’t make me happy. Bottom line is no money on honey.
I think this an very interesting article.Money and sex do play an important part of our lives.I just realized that when I have money the more sex I have and when I don’t have money the less sex I have. The thing is we can’t live without sex and money,no money no honey.
This is an very interesting article about moneyand sex plus how we relate to the two subjects.In my own life money plays and important part of when and how much sex I have when I have money.The thing is no money no honey.
i have a similar view. I don’t think that money necessarily buys happiness but i definitely think that it is highly included in ones happiness. Money isn’t everything, but everything without money is nothing…hahaa
Im samrat Chakraborty 34 years male from Kolkata, West Bengal, India. Im married. Doing Job a SSI Unit as a accountant in kolkata. we have no Own House, staying rented house (Per Month Rent 4000) we are 6 members in our family. My parents, My Brother, My Wife & My 3 years Baby. My monthly salary 7000. Now in this market not possible to maintain my family. we want to die for money problem. I need any type of work for earn more money and maintain my family smothly. please sir / madam help me. Im B.Com, Known Computer ( Word, excel, Tally & E-Filing). Sir im from very very middle class family. you are requested please Help me.i want any type of job in kolkata for more money to maintain my family smothly otherwise die. I need any type of Job for earn more money in kolkata
$$$ DEFINATELY does -not- buy one happiness, but it can buy sex. Fact of nature, people tend to take the route of less resistance, whether $$$ or sex, it’s very true. Anyone who sez differently is either a fool or a liar. Nobody chooses the route of controvirsity (ms). I am speaking of being 65 years old and having plenty of lifetime notes. !!!
I for one think having enough and then some, money is necessary. When I barely made enough money to meet my basic needs, I was OK for that month but I was never happy because there was never any extra money to pursue the things I wanted. I wouldn’t even say I was meeting my basic needs because I rarely had medical nor dental insurance and I was unable to buy many things I needed, much less the things I want. I can’t take the classes and lessons in things I want to possibly transition to that career.
I’m 35 and so tired of living hand-to-mouth and I resent the over simplistic declaration that “money doesn’t buy happiness”. When you don’t have money, you don’t have the same options and freedom of those who do have money.
40k a year is more money than the average individual earns in most of the United States. In 2009, United State per capita income was $27,041 (US Census Bureau).
Unfortunately, I cannot find a credible source for average sexual frequency. The closest I found was a Men’s Health Magazine article which reported the “average” as, once a week for single, twice a week for married, and three times a week for unmarried but living with partner. According to the US Census Bureau, there are 55,974,600 married households, 30,770,470 single householders, and 6,758,088
householders not living alone. For a total household sample of 93503158 households (I have excluded single parent households as there was no data in the MH magazine about single parent sexual frequency). So, approximately 60% of sample households are married (over-estimates because omission of single parent households), 33% are single and living alone, and 7% are single but not living alone. This results in an overall sexual frequency of 1.74 times per week.
Since we make < 40k a year and have sex less than 2x per week we have to be unhappy? The average American is unhappy?
In my opinion, 40k a year is a substantial income, it's more than I make, and I'm very happy. Also, have sex 2x per week, on average, (key word is average) seems like a stretch as well. For example, you go out of town for two weeks, and have no sex. Now you must have sex 6 times in the next week to maintain your average. Or for example, you are in a relationship and have sex 2x a week as indicated above. Your relationship ends, or you get divorced, and don't have sex for a year. The next year you must have sex an additional 104 times, or 4x per week to maintain average over the course of those two years. I would guess over the course of a person's lifetime (15-79), that average sexual frequency is far less than 2 times per week, probably closer to 1.
Sources:
http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/16_ways_to_get_better_sex/How_Often_Do_You_Have_Sex.php
http://factfinder.census.gov
hm, I would rather choose money
cause when you have enough money, you’ll have enough sex
happyness..i think it’s just simply main hormone: endorphines, oxytocin. the more and frequent you have it in your brain cells, more happy you feel. We can not run from nature, biology lives in us :) the more naturally endorphines, oxytocin are( drugs, alcohol works in simillar way) the more pure happyness is.
happyness..i think it’s just simply main hormone: endorphines, oxytocin. the more and frequent you have it in your brain cells, more happy you feel. We can not run from nature, biology lives in us :) the more naturally endorphines, oxytocin are( drugs, alcohol works in simillar way) the more pure happyness is.
happyness..i think it’s just simply main hormone: endorphines, oxytocin. the more and frequent you have it in your brain cells, more happy you feel. We can not run from nature, biology lives in us :) the more naturally endorphines, oxytocin are( drugs, alcohol works in simillar way) the more pure happyness is.
happyness..i think it’s just simply main hormone: endorphines, oxytocin. the more and frequent you have it in your brain cells, more happy you feel. We can not run from nature, biology lives in us :) the more naturally endorphines, oxytocin are( drugs, alcohol works in simillar way) the more pure happyness is.
Well my life is now up to 50.000 – ¬.If I had that money I could pay all I have to pay and leave all bad memories step by step far away and finaly enjoy MY LIFE what my parents tried so much break down.It takes almost 40 years to get up and leave allt hose people behind:alcoholic,violent people who abused me.They shaked my life up side town when I was a child.I made a mistakes…but now its all behind and finaly I have my own life…finaly I am 48 year old man and I am exists :-) and my parenst are death (naturaly).No abuse,violent…anymore.Ever.So world is full of rich people and I think how can I get 50.000 – ¬.Life is amazing and stange. priionsa@welho.com
You have a very good blog that the main thing a lot of interesting and useful!
Sex does make a big difference in ur happiness, especially w/ someone u really love & enjoy. Money, like the article implied, once the basic needs are met, don’t add a whole lot to happiness. Over and above financial independence, social relationships are paramount, particularily the sex quotient. Even if u are broke, busted, & disgusted & have good luvin, it smoothes over the rough spots & makes them stepping stones instead of road blocks.
Sex does make a big difference in ur happiness, especially w/ someone u really love & enjoy. Money, like the article implied, once the basic needs are met, don’t add a whole lot to happiness. Over and above financial independence, social relationships are paramount, particularily the sex quotient. Even if u are broke, busted, & disgusted & have good luvin, it smoothes over the rough spots & makes them stepping stones instead of road blocks.
If these theories were at all valid, wouldn’t porn stars and prostitutes be the happiest people around? How about some families living in third world countries who have nothing other than what little food they can put in their mouth – but, they are happy with each other and close in relationships and families. Funny how many 40K families can barely tolerate each other once or twice a year. Interesting.