Now that I am committed to living on a farm which is sort of the anti-New York City, visiting New York City no longer brings up flashbacks to a really, really difficult lifestyle. Instead, New York fills my head with ideas.
The first one is a billboard I saw as soon as I got off the plane: A good question is the new answer.
That rings true to me. I have been writing about asking questions for a long time. It’s the best way to have a meaningful conversation and it’s the best way to rope in a mentor or look like a star performer. People spend more time thinking about answers than questions, but it’s the questions that make you look smart.
1. Good questions require creative thinking.
This has always been true, I think. Good questions are fundamentally creative. But today, when all facts are available to all people, it’s the questions that have become most important. To get to the answer, you have to ask the right question in a search bar. But also, to differentiate yourself in the workplace, you need to focus on questions, since answers are a commodity.
2. When you're lost, look for questions, not answers.
As my career shifts, I find that the key to keeping the shift moving in a productive way is to ask good questions. It’s ironic, because one of the most frequent questions I get from people is “what’s the best way to make a career change?”
And the answer is to ask much more insightful questions than that one. For example, I know I want to write about the farm, but I’m not sure how to do it. So I’ve been asking questions about how photos fit into blogs and what is the intersection of farming, family, and business?
3. Think of your career path as a question path.
I am also spending time redecorating the farm house. Actually, to call it redecorating is a stretch, since the farmer moved in twenty years ago when the couple living there died, and did not do one, single thing to redecorate. So the house is a time capsule from the 1940’s when it was designed.
Anyway, I wouldn’t say redecorating is a career change, but maybe just a vocation vacation. Do you know that term? You try out a career for a few weeks? That’s what I’ve been doing.
And I realized that I’d only want to be an interior designer for my own house. But I like learning about interior design. And I am realizing that any career shift is about learning and exploring until you land in the right spot.
Questions I am asking lately:
What is Steampunk Style? (Turns out I adore it.) Here’s an example from the movie The Golden Compass:

How to create a space that has texture? I took three conference calls while I was wandering through ABC Home. I thought that if I spend time there, I will somehow learn from being surrounded by examples, like this one:

Some of you will ask what these questions have to do with career change. But a career is not a history of how you make money. A career is a learning path. It’s what direction you take in your personal learning.
4. Asking good questions takes work – that you have to do yourself.
This struck me during my New York trip as well, because one of my best friends is Lisa Nielsen, who leads New York City Public School technology initiatives and writes a blog about education reform. She is a big advocate of me homeschooling my kids. She says that kids don’t need to learn subjects. Kids need to learn how to ask questions about things that are passionate about. And that’s no small task: First, you have to learn how to find your passions. Then you have to learn how to ask questions. Most adults can’t do either thing well, which is a good argument for taking kids out of school, I have to admit.
5. Field other peoples' questions to get better at asking questions.
Finally, the last thing I did in New York is visit Seth Godin’s office, to interview him. You can watch the video here. But before you look, let me tell you that the biggest criticism of the interview is that my commentary about peoples’ questions was obnoxious.
This is true. I am becoming increasingly impatient with questions that reflect poor self-knowledge. And with questions that reflect a penchant for finding roadblocks instead of finding ways to soar. Neither of these bad question types seem genuine, or useful. (Here are some examples of questions like that.)
No one complained about Seth during the webinar though, because he had a better approach to the questions. He tells people what they are really asking. So the webinar is really a webinar on, among other things, how to ask a good question.
The webinar also served as a good lesson for me. Instead of complaining about the questions I get, I should answer the question by sharpening the question. People almost always know the answer to the real question but the real answer is often scary. So we conjure up an ancillary question to distract us from reality.
I also need to be more kind about peoples’ questions, by helping them figure out what their real question is. And the process helps me do it with my life, too. For example, I’m not sure my real question is “What is Steampunk Style?” My real question is how does style fit into my career right now?









I feel like I'm hallucinating. PT has a post which includes a photo of some kind of room decorated with some kinds of pink things? What has happened to the universe?
Posted by LPC on May 6, 2010 at 10:13 am | permalink |
Excellent Post! Well done…this is coming from someone that asks questions for a living…more or less.
Kirk @EASTeam
Posted by Kirk Abraham on May 6, 2010 at 11:17 am | permalink |
This post makes me proud that the only quote I've ever used on my Brazen profile is the self-penned: "It's not whether you have the answers, it's whether you know the questions."
Ironically, it's also a reminder.
Thanks, Pen.
Posted by Jay Hepner on May 6, 2010 at 11:28 am | permalink |
Asking questions is something I hate to do (and I never know what to ask). Thanks for your advice and ideas about it. Hopefully they'll inspire my future question asking.
Posted by MB on May 6, 2010 at 11:38 am | permalink |
"When you're lost, look for questions, not answers." Perfect comment for me to hear today, thanks. I am dealing with an enormous problem and I never thought of finding new questions about it rather than berating myself for not having the answer. I will go around it and maybe it will become clearer.
Also, what has happened to the universe? Didn't you know girly and pretty is "in"? I love it, so feminine after a long boring masculine stretch.
Posted by Diana on May 6, 2010 at 11:52 am | permalink |
And you generate lots of questions!
Posted by Doug on May 6, 2010 at 12:05 pm | permalink |
Penelope,
This is one of your best!
For one thing, I absolutely love your statement that "A career is a learning path."
And you are absolutely right about questions. When I taught 6th grade we spent an entire unit at the beginning of the year learning questioning (the Socratic method and other questioning strategies). You see, some public school teachers do know what's going on.
Also, I think that steampunk style will look awesome in a farm house. It's a perfect match.
☆
Posted by Amber on May 6, 2010 at 12:11 pm | permalink |
I am a big proponent of homeschooling. I agree that homeschooling the boys on the farm would be the greatest educational adventure for all of you. Yes, I have books, curriculum and advice to share. Go for it!
Posted by Socorro Luna on May 6, 2010 at 12:54 pm | permalink |
Steampunk style is exactly what I imagine the inner workings of your brain to look like Pen. I think you found your style and will soon be living from the inside out! Fabulous post.
Posted by Deanne on May 6, 2010 at 12:58 pm | permalink |
We are far more revealing by the questions we ask than the answers we give
– so (however you feel about someone)
when that person asks you a question, ponder:
why is this person
asking me
this question
right now?
In so doing you may glean an insight as to an underlying fear or interest and thus be able to answer to bolster rather than weaken the connection you have with that person.
Posted by Kare Anderson on May 6, 2010 at 1:04 pm | permalink |
Maybe you should consult with Virginia Postrel, author of "The Substance of Style", about the glamour of Steampunk!
Posted by Jens Fiederer on May 6, 2010 at 2:29 pm | permalink |
Thanks for the recommendation! I'm on my way to check it out right now…
-Penelope
Posted by Penelope Trunk on May 6, 2010 at 6:06 pm | permalink |
Checking out her "Deep Glamour" blog only brings up a single reference to "steampunk" at http://www.deepglamour.net/deep_glamour/2008/09/glam-or-spam.html so I am not sure whether there is much to "check out" directly – the book is about style and its importance to modern life.
Posted by Jens Fiederer on May 6, 2010 at 6:17 pm | permalink |
Ok, steampunk…Making mental note. Very cool.
I was homeschooled. I write about it a little in my blog. If you want to talk to someone who didn't go to school until college and turned out very opinionated and also fairly capable of blending in, let me know. I love talking about it.
Posted by Kate on May 6, 2010 at 2:49 pm | permalink |
I am so glad you posted this. I've been a long-time reader of yours and a supporter. I spent quite a bit of time after the Webinar sharing links of your posts on asking good questions on Twitter.
Posted by Brigitte on May 6, 2010 at 3:51 pm | permalink |
Good to see someone else get schooled by Seth. Like running up against a hard, benevolent guard rail. Puts you back on track, sometimes stinging. But you can't complain!
Posted by Theresa Quintanilla on May 6, 2010 at 4:02 pm | permalink |
Yes good questions require creative thinking. Knowing how to ask questions and which questions to ask is a skill, and I noticed that some wise or smart people had a way to ask the right questions. They would lead for example to put some light on a complicated issue or make the other person realize a key point.
Posted by Liv Boeree on May 6, 2010 at 5:28 pm | permalink |
So if you are not redecorating the farmhouse, what are you doing to it?
Posted by Helen on May 6, 2010 at 5:55 pm | permalink |
I think she's decorating it. To say she is redecorating it implies that it was decorated in the first place. : )
Posted by Margaret G. on May 11, 2010 at 6:53 am | permalink |
Seth makes such an important point:
“The Resistance is the voice of the lizard brain. The Resistance is very clever. It comes up with a hundred really good reasons not to take a risk, not to stand out, and not to do something remarkable. The Resistance is the voice that says, “No, I won’t raise my hand at the end of this seminar.” Think about it: some guy gives a talk, some woman gives a talk, there’s forty people in the audience, they go, “any questions?” How come EVERYONE doesn’t raise their hand? …. Why? Simple: because of the Resistance. The Resistance is eminently reasonable and rational, and it’s scared to death. It doesn’t want you to succeed at this kind of stuff.”
One of the reasons the voice of the Resistance is so powerful in people’s heads is because it is given so much credibility, so much support, and so much momentum in our culture. The voice of the Resistance is vocalized – out loud – throughout the culture, over and over, unceasingly. And you, Penelope, are one of the people vocalizing it:
“I am becoming increasingly impatient with questions that reflect poor self-knowledge. And with questions that reflect a penchant for finding roadblocks instead of finding ways to soar. Neither of these bad question types seem genuine, or useful.”
You commit all of the worst sins here: you grade questions as being good and bad, genuine and not genuine, useful and useless; you tie a “poor” question to “poor self-knowledge;” you judge not only the questions but the people asking them (after all, a question that doesn’t seem “genuine” – whatever that means – can only be asked by someone whose intention isn’t genuine).
If I’m afraid that my question isn’t genuine, that my question reflects poor self-knowledge, that my question is useless or seeks to find a roadblock, why on earth would I raise my hand and ask one? Seth wasn’t just talking about the Resistance: he was talking about you.
Seth is a nice guy, and his equanimity in the face of your bullshit was better than you deserve. But, on the other hand, watching you talk about how people shouldn’t be afraid of asking questions even as you were talking about all the questions you didn’t think were any “good” was as valuable a demonstration of the mechanism at work as anything I’ve ever seen. For you, I have a special wish: the eyes to see your child’s face the moment you tell him he’s asking the wrong question.
Posted by Kerry on May 6, 2010 at 6:49 pm | permalink |
I have to agree with a lot of what Kerry said. There is more to be gained by teaching someone how to ask the right question than by just grading their question as a failure. Being able to do the former is the difference between being a leader and a manager.
Posted by Casual Surfer on May 9, 2010 at 6:25 am | permalink |
Hey, you guys, PT seems to realize what you are criticizing:
"The webinar also served as a good lesson for me. Instead of complaining about the questions I get, I should answer the question by sharpening the question. … I also need to be more kind about peoples’ questions, by helping them figure out what their real question is."
So maybe be a little more forgiving; eh? We all have things that we are working within ourselves that when we see them in other people, provoke the most vehemently vile responses. The mirrors in our lives help us grow but we have to be careful not to smash them.
Posted by Margaret G. on May 11, 2010 at 7:03 am | permalink |
People don't come out of the womb knowing how to ask good questions; You have to ask a lot of bad questions to eventually be good at asking good questions. Early on in my career I often walked away from a bad question incident with embarrassment. But, each of those were a lesson in how NOT to ask a question and honed my abilities to ask the good, and even sometimes great, questions. It is pretty simple in my mind that having a talent for asking good questions is so different than the Olympic ice skater: Practice, learn, practice, learn more and so on.
Posted by Katherine on May 6, 2010 at 9:02 pm | permalink |
Meant to say "…having a talent for asking good questions is NO different than the Olympic ice skater."
Posted by Katherine on May 6, 2010 at 9:04 pm | permalink |
You've covered a lot of ground in this post, P. I'd love to talk about interior design, but your observations about uninformed questions raises issues I'm dealing with in my own life: more specifically, my striving to move past intellectual snobbery. I'd like to say a few words about that.
Generally, I'm doing my best to "evolve." I'm trying to be more tolerant of other people's belief's. I'm working on being more patient and empathetic, plus getting past my ego's point-of-view. And I've sort of made some headway in that regard, the equivalent of the first three inches of a mile. I wish I could grow faster but I've hit a paradox: the more I inform myself about world dynamics and how fear grows out of ignorance, the more I observe people subconsciously choosing to live within this contaminated condition. The result? Perpetuated negativity and deconstruction. Everywhere. WHY people lapse into myopic focus, is the most complex question of all. But they do. And I can't help WANTING TO BE separated from that majority because their confrontational reality is scary and potentially dangerous.
And here's the point where I too fall into the trap. From where I stand, it doesn't take much work to look for answers behind the answers, or to be generous and kind, or to be mature and see things from all sides. It just takes desire. (So I believe.) Consequently, when I observe infectious, "lazy" disinterest,(MY label), I tend to become prejudice against "prejudice" people! But are they really? Or are they just trying to survive using whatever mental tools they have, even the ones that don't work?
I am so fortunate to have a loving wife who continually reminds me that I too need more "working" tools; ones that allow me to VALUE others who think differently than I do. Sometimes that's very difficult!
That said, all the best, Penelope. You now have a Reminder Spouse. The best kind; a man of the Earth.
Irv
Posted by Irving Podolsky on May 6, 2010 at 10:14 pm | permalink |
Hi, Irving. I think you need to remember that love and kindness are way more important than how smart you are. Actually,no one cares how smart you are because smart and snobby are so incredibly annoying and shallow. But you know that, right? Or else you wouldn't have written this comment.
So try this: Everyone has a topic that they know way more about than you do. If you stick to topics you are an expert on, you are a bore. If you try to connect with people on topics you would like to learn about, you are interesting, engaged, and curious — all things that are likable. And you have no reason to be a snob because you are talking about topics where the other person knows more.
If you find yourself getting angry about other peoples' ignorance, tell yourself to focus on yourself. The more you work on making yourself a better person, the less what other people do will matter.
Good luck, I often struggle with similar stuff that you struggle with, which is why I have so much to say on the topic :)
Penelope
Posted by Penelope Trunk on May 9, 2010 at 9:52 am | permalink |
There's a shift in perspective that may help: from "why are THEY so stupid/ dangerous/ confrontational/ whatever?", to "why are WE so stupid/ dangerous/ confrontational/ whatever?".
It feels false to start with, but I found that after a couple of weeks, fear and fury began to mellow into sympathy and empathy. There's something strangely comforting about a wry smile.
Posted by TwistedByKnaves on May 11, 2010 at 12:58 pm | permalink |
Penelope, Inspiring Post! I saw another post today "Taking Charge of your Career" by Vineet Nayar. He says "If your orientation moves towards convincing people on actions rather than ideas, I think you would be able to take charge of your career". http://www.vineetnayar.com/taking-charge-of-your-career/
Posted by Renata on May 7, 2010 at 2:45 am | permalink |
penelope, as usual you demonstrate an amazing insight of the human mind…
the theory of the "scary real questions" and the "ancillary" ones is so simple but oh so true….
i'm in the middle of a change of career and i've just started noticing how much of my biggest problem- what i believed being procrastination- is in fact due to my fear of confronting certain feelings/attitudes; i am/was submerging myself with "ancillary" tasks, because i did not want to confront myself with my real tasks, and real questions…
Posted by silvia on May 7, 2010 at 3:42 am | permalink |
Great pix. Never heard of Steampunk before, but now I'm interested …
Posted by Felix on May 7, 2010 at 6:45 am | permalink |
Computer game that touches on the Steampunk style:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arcanum:_Of_Steamworks_and_Magick_Obscura
Posted by Jens Fiederer on May 7, 2010 at 7:31 am | permalink |
I think the reason most people beg for answers as opposed to questions is that answers are easy. Answers are what you get from As Seen On TV products, infomercials promising untold wealth for broke people in "3 Simple Steps!" and other snake oil sales pitches. Answers are for people who don't want to think for themselves, and thus never seem to work out quite like they were supposed to.
Questions free the mind and spirit, whereas answers put them in a cage. Good post, P!
Posted by David Dotson on May 7, 2010 at 7:32 am | permalink |
Pay attention to the answer. Make sure it answers the question.
Follow up with more questions if the answer isn't clear.
Posted by ET on May 7, 2010 at 9:12 am | permalink |
One day the Hodja was visited by some of his young friends. They had been gathering and the discussion turned to the question of what was the most valuable thing in the world. They could not agree, but decided to consult his wisdom.
"If you think about it", the Hodja replied, " the most valuable thing in the world is sage advice." The friends thought about this a while, nodded their heads, and agreed.
The next week, they visited the Hodja again…this time their discussion had turned to the LEAST valuable thing in the world.
"If you think about it", the Hodja replied, " the least valuable thing in the world is sage advice."
The friends protested – how could the most valuable thing in the world be at the same time the least valuable?
"Ah, my friends, even the sagest of advice is utterly worthless if it is not heeded!"
Posted by Jens Fiederer on May 7, 2010 at 9:33 am | permalink |
My 32 month old granddaughter has recently started asking the question, "Why Nana?" She'll stand there, cock her head, put her two little hands up, palms skyward, and say, dropping her hands emphatically an inch or two before settling them, fingers outstretched, "Why Nana?"
I look at her and wonder what's she talking about. It's not like I'm asking her to do something, or pointing something out – it just comes out of the clear blue.
"Why, Nana?"
I guess it's a universal thing, tuned to our cores.
I wonder when it stops (in most of us)?
Posted by Maureen Sharib on May 7, 2010 at 9:24 am | permalink |
Children (and everyone) learn by asking questions. The smarter the child, the more questions they have. One of my daughters asked question after question. Every answer to a question brought her back with another question. And then after I thought I couldn't stand to answer one more question on her topic du jour, she'd reach some kind of mental synthesis point, and summarize the whole subject and what she had concluded, puctuated by "Wight, Mommy?" every few sentences. I'd make a minor correction or comment, if needed, or just make affirmative noises to each "Wight, Mommy?" until she finished. The next day's questions would at least start on a new topic.
I think many people have never learned to ask "good questions," because they were not allowed to ask the questions they wanted answers to when they were little. Many busy, impatient parents, and most of our school systems discourage children from asking unending streams of questions, although that is how they learn. (Of course, smart kids do learn how to ask their teachers questions to distract them from assignments or quizzes that they don't want to get, too.)
Posted by Techquestioner on May 7, 2010 at 9:45 am | permalink |
Excellent post! I want to re-read a dozen times when I have more time to reflect on it. However, it most quickly brings to mind why I am not asking myself the important questions, scary answers…oh you are so good Penelope! Thanks!!
Posted by Miss SJ Albany on May 7, 2010 at 10:26 am | permalink |
+1 for homeschooling.
Learning how to learn is not taught at a school either – its taught in the home. Those things can be reinforced in school but the bulk of it is developed at home in my opinion.
This statement also couldn't be an truer: "Kids need to learn how to ask questions about things that are passionate about." Great post!
Posted by Don on May 7, 2010 at 10:41 am | permalink |
Penelope,
I understand your impatience for 'good' questions and how helpful they can be. However, as I watched your exchange with Seth, my impression was that you had not prepared well for the interview and were not asking questions that highlighted his ideas well for listeners. There was no clear organization structure to your queries, which is so helpful to audience understanding. Yes, it was a bit rude to cut down those who asked questions not up to your standards, but it seems that edginess is part of your brand, so it was not a dealbreaker. The silver lining is that no one who questions exactly as you do would be a customer of your business, so in a way, bad questions are a form of job security.
As a suggestion for the future: request that some questions be submitted in advance of your program. People often need time to formulate a question and presubmission allows this. In addition, have your staff/you brainstorm a handful of kickass questions to generate great answers at your desired level. These questions cover you in case you have a technical glitch, or in case your audience doesn't ask good questions. You can just pull from your preferred question list and no one is the wiser. You don't have to insult anybody and you can repeat the takeaways you think are most important.
Thanks and best,
Lisa
Posted by Lisa on May 7, 2010 at 10:54 am | permalink |
As a guest speaker, I am often asked questions that are somewhat clueless and off-topic. But, I am that person's research tool at that moment in time. They aren't goggling anything while listening to me. People aren't in the habit of doing their homework before a lecture—even though that's when it makes the most sense.
What I have to remind myself is that the person asking the question is in a different headspace than I am. If I asked them a question about their area of expertise I am sure I would sound like I hadn't done my homework.
Posted by Leslie on May 7, 2010 at 11:47 am | permalink |
every question has answer,even difficult questions has difficult answer,but the main engine is who is the sincere person whom able to give right and clear answer !
Posted by Hossam aboueissa on May 7, 2010 at 2:45 pm | permalink |
Having been a teacher I realize my students weren't always clear on how to ask the question they wanted answered. It was forming as they asked it or became more clear while they were forming it (out loud). I think it's important to not make people feel bad or stupid when they ask questions – intimidation doesn't motivate learning. It's sometimes scary to ask a question – no one wants to look dumb, ill-prepared, etc. so helping someone reform it or clarify what they want to know is the way to go I think. It helps them learn both to model a question and to get an answer to what they want to know.
Posted by Linda on May 7, 2010 at 4:15 pm | permalink |
people asked Isaak newton how he discovered attraction of earth ,he answered them because apple failed down on his head from the tree,people asked penicillin innovator how he discovered penicillin he told them any one can see behind the perspective he could be innovator,either way world took too much time before discovered expression (hospitality industry),thus question and answer is important subjects because science depend on discover and discover depend on questions and answer,question and answer is the main subject of practice and progress
Posted by Hossam aboueissa on May 7, 2010 at 4:54 pm | permalink |
Hi P,
Oh how I miss your blog and thought I'd commend you on the great interview with Seth Godin (minus the technical issues).
I love this 1. Good questions require creative thinking.
This has always been true, I think. Good questions are fundamentally creative. But today, when all facts are available to all people, it’s the questions that have become most important. To get to the answer, you have to ask the right question in a search bar. But also, to differentiate yourself in the workplace, you need to focus on questions, since answers are a commodity.
People could come up with good answers or try to give their best answers but only creative minds could come up with the right questions.
Posted by Jonha @ Happiness on May 7, 2010 at 11:02 pm | permalink |
I've already referred a number of my graduate student friends/colleagues to this post. Thanks for it. Graduate students (cultural anthropologists in this particular context) may never come up with the "answer" but we spend years learning how to formulate questions, react to questions in seminars by asking more questions. We ask bad questions, humiliate ourselves, and learn. And most importantly, we learn how to ask the right questions in extremely diverse times and places. Finally it culminates in a dissertation which is, essentially, just another question with a learned perspective. I appreciate your question about the intersection of family, farm, and business — good questions are all about intersections. And good answers only come with a processual understanding of how questions and intersections change.
Posted by Sarah on May 9, 2010 at 1:15 am | permalink |
Yeah, you're rapidly becoming my guru. Even though of late I've been asking this here question a lot: Why didn't I write that? And were I to attempt an answer it might be: Perhaps I'm not in answering mode at this point in my life.
It's great to read you for inspiration and for more scalp scratching questions.
Posted by Kaydot on May 9, 2010 at 4:45 am | permalink |
It depends on what kind of and how much information you are looking for.
If you are looking for a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer then closed questions are ideal. However, if you are looking for a lot more detailed information then asking 'open' questions is much more appropriate and will usually provide you with greater information.
Also, learning and employing the Meta Model will help anybody improve their question asking.
Posted by Jennifer Summers on May 9, 2010 at 7:07 am | permalink |
Though all 5 points mentioned are great, I really enjoyed point 2. Great approach to problem solving.
@Sarah: I agree. =)
Posted by Educational on May 10, 2010 at 6:46 am | permalink |
This was a great interview.
In the future, you may want to consider doing the screengrab of the full-sized Vokal video, though. At the current embedded video embed size, this might as well be just audio.
Thank you for posting, though. You two could be running mates:)
Posted by Jason Pelker on May 10, 2010 at 7:36 am | permalink |
Good post! A thought process begins by asking the right question. Children are good examples of how we use the answers gathered to formulate or build our little world. Therefore, question is really curiosity of the mind. It’s the reason and in most instances that I evaluate the questioner not the question.
Posted by Ava Anderton on May 10, 2010 at 7:50 am | permalink |
Penelope,
I was already loving this blog….and voila, you included VocationVacations! Appreciate your advocacy of the work we do, Penelope.
And say a huge hello to my beloved homeland, WiscoDisco, for me.
All my best,
Brian Kurth
Posted by Brian Kurth on May 10, 2010 at 1:26 pm | permalink |
Asking better questions is the foundation of learning how to listen better. You made me think and I'll use your question tips as I work to become a better listener to people. Thank you for a provoking bit of writing.
Posted by Nancy Hutchins on May 10, 2010 at 6:48 pm | permalink |
This post really is useful. We need to learn not only how to ask better questions, but also how to respond to those. It'd be great if there could be another article about giving out answers
Posted by Jenna 13 on May 11, 2010 at 4:13 am | permalink |
We must have been listening to my thoughts. I was really struggling in my last blog with the questions that I was asking. I was thinking about how I can really fine tune those skills…and then I see your post!
Great post and great feedback. Thanks so much for sharing!
Posted by Jennifer Koren on May 11, 2010 at 4:33 am | permalink |
I didn't know what it was called but I am pretty sure my brother-in-law has been doing Steampunk longer than the 10 years I've known him: from his collection of antique globes to, um, his own teeth. One night, he couldn't sleep and drove out to pick up a road sign he had been passing for months. Now it's the overhead light above his and my sister's island in the kitchen. Wanna see pictures? Or just drive down to Athens, Ga. I'm housesitting. :)
Oh, and I went to sign up at BC and couldn't do it. I don't know if it's my browser or what but when I click on the bit where you fill in your name and all that, no cursor appears to let me type. I have reloaded tabs and opened new windows, and nothing works.
Posted by Margaret G. on May 11, 2010 at 7:24 am | permalink |
I just drove to St. Louis and saw some hospital billboards on the way there and thought to myself, why doesn't my company have billboards on the freeway, we have hospitals right off the freeway as well??? Good question.
Posted by Dan on May 11, 2010 at 11:59 am | permalink |
Your job should always be something you are passionate about. If you're working just for the money, you are going to earn every single penny of it. As for children asking questions, I think a big part of an education is learning how to answer those questions for yourself, and you don't mention that at all. Early on, that involves looking up answers. But as you progress, it involves a lot of things that most people are comfortable with, like introspection. We're so distracted by TV's, cell phones, the internet, etc. that we don't look into ourselves for answers any more.
Posted by SMU Cox MBA on May 11, 2010 at 12:07 pm | permalink |
I've been thinking of just questions until i read this post. Now need to think in a smarter. The Right Questions ..Yeah ! :)
Posted by Mike@ Wise Step on May 12, 2010 at 2:52 am | permalink |
One of the questions that people ask a lot is: "what should I do with my life"? which prompted the book "What Should I Do With My Life" by the best-selling author Po Bronson.
The book is a beautiful narrative as it chronicles the journey a number of people undertook in their attempt to answer that question.
It is still an important question for many people … and just like Penelope says, it is all about asking or answering the right question.
Posted by Kingsley Tagbo on May 12, 2010 at 3:20 am | permalink |
That is so sad you are looking at ABC carpet. You should read http://aestheteslament.blogspot.com/ instead. Pity she stopped blogging. For steampunk style, go to Restoration Hardware. And get a brass girdle.
Posted by Kevin on May 12, 2010 at 8:26 pm | permalink |
Questions are like an art form. It takes a lot of practice and patience to get it "right" and you, your mentor, or anybody else for that matter have a finite amount of time to pursue answers. Multiple answers will be the result of good questions and the trick is to pick the "best" answer ( cost effectiveness, expedience, etc.). It's important to stay focused on the purpose of the original question since it is easy to get lost with the multitude of details that will ensue with each proceeding question. Details are important to an extent but they can't be allowed to derail the progression of questions. I normally don't find a question and its answer by themselves to be extremely helpful. It's the original questions, key questions and answers along the way (breadcrumbs), the runners-ups, and final answer selection I find to be most informative.
I think this is one of your best posts so far this year. It's not a rant and therefore in my opinion more useful than a rant. It's also not controversial. I'm also thinking your best posts which are not rants and not controversial have the least amount of comments. So I'll give this post a thumbs up.
Posted by Mark W. on May 21, 2010 at 7:37 am | permalink |
Steampunk –which I love but never realized had a name–also looks alot like the photographs in anthropologie catalogs…
Posted by Eilene Zimmerman on May 22, 2010 at 10:43 pm | permalink |
The best use of goth style was when I visited my home town in Romania and saw all these lost looking goths stepping in cow dung looking for Dracula's ancestors or something.
I can laugh, because I used to be one.
Posted by ioana on May 26, 2010 at 2:44 pm | permalink |
This does relate to your post, because I'm trying to imagine you fitting steampunk in the farm. The Goths were tourists from North America, btw.
Posted by ioana on May 26, 2010 at 2:45 pm | permalink |
Thanks for the tips. it will really help a lot of people.
Posted by Sad Pimpy on May 27, 2010 at 8:54 am | permalink |
Re: " . . . People spend more time thinking about answers than questions, but it’s the questions that make you look smart. . . "
Perhaps you will agree that it is not so important to LOOK smart, but better to have become smart for asking questions.
Posted by Jeff on May 27, 2010 at 8:40 pm | permalink |
I find that whenever I'm in a conversation where I get bored, asking a question or two may actually get the person talking about something that eventually interest or teaches me something. I appreciate you prompting me to think about how to sharpen these skills even more.
Posted by Renee Park on June 1, 2010 at 8:11 pm | permalink |
Hi Penelope,
I was looking for a way to email you directly and haven't found it. I have a question about your blogging process. I'm wondering if you get an idea and then just start blogging it, doing all the editing and reworking on the blog, or do you do something offline, then post it? I love your blog and it is always so well thought out. I'm attempting to start my own blog during a stressful time in my life, so my blog ideas are about my stress and uncertainty, which could make for a whiny blog if I'm not careful. This is why I ask. I'm wondering if I should just go for it even if I disgust myself with all of my whiny thoughts or if I should rework and edit until it comes out a bit more objective.
Your thoughts on this are greatly appreciated.
Morgan
Posted by Morgan Jones on June 4, 2010 at 1:37 pm | permalink |
I thought that if I spend time there, I will somehow learn from being surrounded by examples,
Posted by abella on June 25, 2010 at 12:33 am | permalink |
new experience is a challenge
Posted by ysabella on June 25, 2010 at 12:35 am | permalink |
another aspect is to know the listening habit(s) of the person you are asking the question to–my instrument, Hear! Hear? Your Listening Portfolio, assesses your listening habits–if you ask a question that aligns with a listening habit, you increase the likelihood that your question and their answer will be more effective
Posted by Marian Thier on July 26, 2010 at 9:48 am | permalink |
I really like reading these posts because they coincide with the work that I'm doing on listening. While asking good questions is an imperative, my research indicates questions are highly correlated to listening habits. My instrument, Hear! Hear? Your Listening Portfolio® assesses listening habits so that the instrument-taker can determine if those habits serve him well in the workplace. A huge part of listening habits shows up in the types of questions people ask. So, if you are one kind of listener, and tend to ask questions that fit your habit(s), you might well be missing the information that the person you are listening to has to share. The trick is to develop a toolkit of questions large enough to accommodate all listening habits.
Posted by Marian Thier on August 17, 2010 at 10:33 am | permalink |
For clarity sake, I wrote the comment about the correlation between listening habits and asking questions. I did not write the comment about Steampunk. Somehow it got attributed to me, and I have no idea how or what The Golden Compass is. Thanks.
Posted by Marian Thier on September 2, 2010 at 9:04 am | permalink |
The Golden Compass is NOT….NOT….NOT steampunk. It may be *inspired* by Steampunk, but it is certainly not fully steampunk. If you want to see true-to-form "Steampunk style", watch "City of Lost Children". That's true Steampunk.
The tricky thing about Steampunk as a "style" is that it's really more of an ethos…kindof like Bauhaus. "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" is a "steampunk" comic book – think of Jules Verne, Orson Welles, and more recently, Hayao Miyazaki. The castle in "Howl's Moving Castle" is steampunk-derived, as is the titular city in Laputa: Castle in the Sky. In video games, Bioshock is DEFINITELY Steampunk inspired. I've never seen so much functionally useless design in any other medium.
Which brings to mind – if you can get your mind around the concept of "Aesthetics Driven by Functional Uselessness", you can "get" steampunk.
Posted by Damien on August 18, 2010 at 2:21 pm | permalink |
Penelope,
Wonderful post! Your second suggestion, "When You're Lost, Look for Questions, Not Answers," really resonated with me. A million answers to the "wrong" questions is worthless unless you have that one answer to the "right" question. Asking the "right" questions, though, is truly a skill that must be cultivated though practice and experience.
Posted by Carrie on August 31, 2010 at 5:05 pm | permalink |