Special needs mom/part-breadwinner here, coming out of the metaphorical woodwork to chime in:

I strongly believe that the analysis or balancing of the norms that applies to regular working mothers in the private setting doesn't apply to those in public service. There has to be a moral imperative for public servants: work comes first. We assume that to be the case when a father takes office, and the same should be true for the mother. So we shouldn't be musing about "how can she do it all"? She's made a choice to serve and with that choice comes subordinating personal interest to public interest. So the answer is: she won't be able to "do it all", nor should she.

So, no, Penelope, you shouldn't mine her experience for nuggets to apply to your life. You haven't entered into that social contract. You're on a different playing field – a challenging one – but very different from a normative perspective.

You love her hair and her outfit.

Her intelligence, her views, her politics (good or bad)… that all comes secondary to her appearance? What is it with you?

You were outplayed and outsmarted at the PTA so you quit. And now what? You step up on your little soapbox and proclaim that it's not you… the big ol' PTA fight just "sucks" right?

You can't relate to Palin. She didn't get to where she is by giving up on her convictions, her views, her career, or anything. Giving up finds you in divorce, pointing the finger. Stop giving yourself away.

Reading this post took me back 20 years to the days when I wanted so much professionally and it seemed impossible because I had two little kids. At some point, my husband and I agreed that he would do the PTA thing and the Room Father thing and be the one to leave work to take the kids to the doctor, and I would focus on the longer hours needed to succeed in my job. He was then and is now the support I need to accomplish what I am driven to accomplish.

Today, my husband, my kids and I have a very close relationship and they say that their Dad and I are both role models for them in making a family work in a nontraditional way. At 50, I feel that I have what I thought was impossible 20 years ago.

I very much appreciate your struggle and your courage to write about it.

It doesn't sound like Scorpio has ever been a member or leader of the PTA or any community group. Trying to lead a group of people with varying goals, skills and levels of commitment who are also volunteering their time is one of the most frustrating experiences I can think of.

"canceling everything is not what's right for me."

Maybe it's time we parents stop worrying about what's "right for me."

Palin could conceivably take her kids with her, at least at times, with a tutor. But it doesn't seem like recent VPs have traveled as much. Especially with so many domestic issues, she might be more of a homebody than past veeps.

Still, part of me thinks this is a horrible idea for her family.

She will probably be assigned a huge childcare staff that can travel with her on VP (and possibly campaigning) assignments. She will have a household staff for the residence.

I'm married. We have a 1 year old. We both work; and my job is pretty demanding and stressful. It is impossible to do it all. So I don't. And I saw a therapist for 6 months twice a week and now I'm ok with it. When you try to do it all, you end up sucking at everything and you're left with nothing – divorce, your kids don't like you, and you get passed up for the promotion at work. I'm only 29, but I know enough women at the top to know that their path up there came with sacrifices that I personally could not make. Before I met my husband, work was my life and I was successful in my department. I barely managed to juggle both my then-boyfriend and work, typically with my then-boyfriend being 2nd and work 1st. I had to see a therapist because even though I loved my boyfriend more than work, I couldn't stop spending more time at work (because I wanted to be CEO one day). And then we got pregnant and everything fell apart. Therapy and Penelope's posts helped me. I learned that having a husband that truly loves me, and I mean TRULY TRULY loves me is the greatest prize of all. He loves me unconditionally – my boss/ company does not love me unconditionally. This country cannot come close to giving Sarah Palin the love and support her husband and children can. And therefore, it boggles my mind, why she would choose service over family.

Yesterday's post and today's post should really be one post. They work much better together and now I understand with much more clarity why you are posting about Sarah Palin relative to your own experiences as a parent – not only a special needs parent. I am not a parent so I can not give you first hand advice but can understand how the travel issue is a major one for you and your family. As far as Sarah Palin is concerned, she will be traveling extensively until the election – no doubt about it. How much travel she will do and exactly her responsibilities if the Republicans are elected are unknown. Her job and the Republicans work is focused on energizing the conservative base and getting their ticket elected. I think it will be extremely hard for them – especially this year. I think they've considered the risks and plan to work through it one step at time. It is their decision to try for the election and ours to determine if they succeed.

This is a great post. I'm not sure I agree with you on everything, but I love it. Thanks!

I definitely agree about loving her outfit, and her confidence, and all that. She is really something, and if she were a character in a movie, I would be a fan. Of course, those qualities do not necessarily make her fit to participate in running the country.

A problem I see with this post: There is definitely a double standard here. You have not written about what kind of a dad the president is. We all know that for a lot of jobs, the family takes a huge hit, men or women. We just expect that. The president doesn't spend a lot of time with his family. That's what I expect from someone committed to public service: they make sacrifices in order to make the world a better place (for their kids and everyone's).

So in theory, I think that this personal aspect of her life should be left out of the political arena. Sarah Palin probably doesn't spend a ton of time with her kids, and that's her choice. I DO think that if the Republicans are going to keep going on about family values, then it's good that someone points out their shortcomings.

This post begs the questions you have asked about corporate culture: Do we as a country have reasonable expectations from public servants? Is our civil service structured in a way that officials are able to participate in family life? If not, does that restrict our pool of candidates? Could that be why there are so few women in government? Can we change it, and if so, how (perhaps looking at Sweden for a model)?

Great post. Thanks.

Who's to say that her husband is lost just because he's quit his job to take care of the kids. Granted, you've of course detailed your own account where that plan didn't work out at all; but not all husbands are the same. Heck, some won't get off the couch to look for work even as they're being evicted. ;)

Don't you get it? SP is just another shot of Mommy Porn — women will spend much more time wondering how she does it, particularly in terms of why we can't do it with such supposed grace and style. We don't see the mess behind the scenes, because there is a huge group of people in place to make sure that it doesn't show. All we see is the results of the make-up artists, hairstylists, wardrobe people, speech writers, pr flacks, assistants, more assistants, and assistants to the assistants, who work together to make us think it is all effortless and that we are failing to do it. And, of course, she HAS to smile through it all and make it look fun and easy.

But, for the woman who denies that global warming is the result of human activity, it's probably not that much of a stretch. She is denying much of reality already.

Mary

I suggest renaming this blog to The Bitchy Careerist.

That's all.

Penelope,

Put politics aside; Palin represents every question your blog has been trying to answer.

In your quest to understand how you can have a career and a family too, Palin’s candidacy was like a personal mid-term exam. Unfortunately, your answer was that there really isn’t any solution to the problem. Given a husband who will stay home, both a household and a professional staff, and a family committed to her success, the conflicts between her home and her future job are still irreconcilable.

Perhaps that was more an emotional reaction than a considered opinion, but you – rightly in my opinion – got hammered for your answer. In essence, if you are able to look at someone else’s situation and judge their competencies and choices then everyone else has a right to do the same to you. And they also have a right to do that to working dads. Where does that end?

Women are not magically more beneficial at home than men. Mothers and fathers are equally capable of being parents. And therefore if a man can be president with a supportive spouse, then so can a woman. Unless, of course, she can’t deal with the guilt of being away, or she worries what other women will think, or she believes that having it all means doing it all. But none of those things are intrinsic to being a woman, they are intrinsic to being a PARTICULAR woman. These issues are not in your genes, they’re in your mind.

When you have a child, there are ALWAYS trade-offs to be made. Even by staying home, as many thoughtful posters pointed out, we are making sacrifices which impact our children. Therefore the answer isn’t that there isn’t AN answer; the answer is that there are MANY answers and exactly none of them are cost-free.

Your blog was doing a good job of exploring these themes – talking to CEO’s, giving us insights to your own struggles, asking questions to get feedback from your readers – that not only helped your readers, but I’m pretty sure yourself as well. I think you need to get back to that. Brazen Careerist isn’t only for single twenty-somethings, it’s ultimately about the lives all of us are trying to lead and the choices along the path we’ll have to make.

I look forward to your future posts.

Sorry that so many people on here are obnoxious. But I get it and understand where you are coming from. I loved this post. It was honest and brought out so many points to ponder.

I always enjoy your posts.

I love your blog. I usually agree with almost everything you say. It makes me sad to think that women have this struggle still, and we're told we can't because of our children. I'm not a high payed executive. I'm a teacher. I work hard and feel guilty about not being home with my kids too. My husband brings them to school and is first on the emergency contact list if they get sick. Neither one of my girls is a special needs child. But, I do want to give my girls the best, and part of that is showing them that a woman can do it. I want them to see that a woman has a shot. I don't agree with McCain and Palin's politics, so I won't vote for her.

Oh, I'm a fairly stern traditionalist myself, and I really do think that this stay-at-home dad is a pretty bad idea for the most part.

But I love Sarah Palin. She was my governor, and she was competent, businesslike, and respectable.

I think this all boils down to what "tribe" you belong to. Penelope doesn't belong to Palin's tribe– East Coast Jewish liberals have little in common philosphically with red-state whitebread conservative Christians.

Which is why the latter group (my own group,) ADORES her; she's the embodiment of our own value system and culture during an election cycle in which we were beginning to feel altogether irrelevant. Feminism doesn't have a whole lot to do with this… tribal affiliation does.

I know part of the reason to blog is to open discussion on certain topics but I think people are dealing too harshly with you Penelope. Parenting is intensely personal. How each of us does it is an individual choice. None of the choices we make every day as parents are easy, and they become even more challenging when we're forced to defend them. I choose to work because it makes me a better parent. That is something many advocates of stay at home parenting can't understand just as I can't understand their choice. I don't have to, I have only to respect it. we can discuss the choices without personal attacks as it's the only way to reach further understanding and maybe even help each other out.

"I don't think I've ever even spoken in person with anyone who honestly believes rape victims should not get abortions."

Perhaps we shall see each other at an ERE show.

Your fan,
Harry Joiner

PS – I am a sole-bread winner, self-employed, father-or-five with a special needs son. Married 16 years.

I debated leaving this comment, but I thought about it overnight and felt the need to point out that just as "there is no such thing as being a little bit pregnant," one either subscribes to the idea that "life begins at conception" or one doesn't.

I happen to subscribe to that idea.

Once I committed to that belief, I began to understand that the babies are the true victims of abortion, regardless of the circumstances under which they are conceived.

Clearly rape and incest are tragic, but they don't change the logic above.

Sarah,

Good, thought-provoking post.

But I hope with all my heart that the questions you pose about how Sarah will cope will be moot and that we will never find out. Her candidacy is insulting to the American people and to women in particular.

I think everyone who has this idiotic idea that women shouldn't have the right to abortion, even in the case of rape or incest, should be forced to adopt one of these kids that they force a woman to have. Then let's see how they feel about having no choice in the matter–these righteous, compassionate people, most of whom have never had to deal with the consequences of unwanted pregnancy first- or even second-hand. Yeah, it's an equally idiotic idea–and it would serve them right. I chose to keep my kid from an unintended high school pregnancy, and I love and adore him, but no way would I presume to make that decision for someone else. Choice is fundamental, and not just about abortion.

As for you, Penelope, I hope you don't mean that you want Palin to actually *win* the vice-presidency so you can watch how she handles it all, at the expense of your stated political beliefs. It would be a disaster for women in general. I'm sure she'll remain in the spotlight, just as ambitious as she is today, so you can watch her all you want without her having to screw up the lives of millions of people with her hateful politics. And when I say hateful, I don't just mean her pro-life, pro-creationism, pro-gun politics–the stuff I hate, but support her right to espouse and believe in, though not to legislate–I mean the bilious attack she launched against the half of America that doesn't agree with her. That divisive, "you're the enemy and if we win then we don't have to take you into account, period, haha" politics is destroying this country. It doesn't have to be that way, but people like Palin seek to perpetuate and even escalate this "war"–their term for it. We've had enough of war-mongers in office.

fascinating.

liberal democrats talking about how a women should stay home with the kids. just fascinating.

please help me understand:
palin – having children at home = bad

0bama – being aligned with racists, antisemites and terrorists = good

just fascinating

Penelope,

Your Democrats voted overwhelmingly to authorize killing a baby who survives an abortion. That trumps making the victim of rape bear her child – she could always give the child up for adopotion. I thought liberals cared about the helpless and unprotected.

I appreciate your perspective, but not your lefty politics.

> 0bama – being aligned with racists, antisemites
> and terrorists = good

Could we have a list of these racists, antisemites and terrorists? Haven't seen even one of them identified.

Evie said:

Penelope,

Your Democrats voted overwhelmingly to authorize killing a baby who survives an abortion. That trumps making the victim of rape bear her child – she could always give the child up for adopotion. I thought liberals cared about the helpless and unprotected.

I appreciate your perspective, but not your lefty politics.

One question for you, Evie: How many children have you adopted?

If your answer is even only one, you have the right to rant. Otherwise, STFU.

It's easier to label Obama as a racist, terrorist and anti-semite than it is to say "I can't possibly vote for a black man." It's a convenient excuse for racists to keep hating him.

I am a white Jewish woman. I am voting Obama wholeheartedly. As is my entire family, half of which is Republican (my father is a precinct captain). The reaction of the country to Sarah Palin terrifies me. It confirms that most men still want women barefoot and pregnant.

> The reaction of the country to Sarah Palin
> terrifies me. It confirms that most men still
> want women barefoot and pregnant.

Only Republican men.

Yep, her speech was great, she looks good, part of what/how she says what she says is dynamic. Learn more about her – she is one scary gal, she is not an admirable human being on ALL levels – maybe some, not all. With our cafeteria attitude towards why we like this, not that, about our political leaders – learn to cut out the image, the vision you see and look to the authentic way this woman, or whoever you decide to put on a pedestal, actually lives. Any of us can take the highlights of own lives and sound like a million bucks, but at the end of the day, we all have a life that is messy, boring, interesting and real – choices, realities and what is. Penelope, start following yourself and your own star, not someone else's – yours is good enough.

Palin scares me because I don't believe she is who she says she is. I too thought on the night of the speech – nice hair, nice suit, really pretty, good speaker but I also know I was watching Miss Congeniality.

Sarah Palin scares me because she seems to believe that sending our troupes to Iraq to do "God's work" is "God's Will" – yikes! So does that mean she thinks the Iraq war was "God's Will" as well? So is she saying the George W was doing God's Work by telling us lies so he could start the war?

I love this one too P!

I'm not putting bad karma out there BUT I would like to point out the obvious fact that John McCain will probably die or come close to it if he was elected based on his health conditions and age.

Sarah Palin comes from Alaska – not a highly populated state. Her speech was dripping with false statements and it was more like a comedy routine than a serious talk about the ISSUES.

She made fun at community organizers and how they don't have REAL responsiblities. Listen up evangelicals she just insulted your PASTORS AND PREACHERS. They are community organizers, are they not? They have responsibilities, do they not? And what about all of the Red Cross volunteers — last time I checked they are community organizers? Or soup kitchen workers? Or ANY type of volunteer group for that matter. What about the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts? So…while she THOUGHT she was funny – she's not.

It is not time for joking and comedy when people are losing their houses and becoming homeless. It is not funny when people have to choose between heating their house, filling up their car or putting food on the table. It is not funny when John McCain voted AGAINST raising minimum wage to the mere pennies it is now. It is not funny when the middle class is dissappearing and the gap between the poor and the rich is growing wider.

Not once did I hear the GOP mention those issues. All they did was talk about war, war heros, war….war…did I mention the war?

I am a 23 year old white woman by the way who considers myself an independent. I give both candidates and parties a fair ear. I am Christian may I add for those wondering the background.

So, before Sarah makes those jokes thinking that she is putting a "jab" in at Obama – she needs to get her facts straight before insulting most Americans who volunteer – Community organizers DO have responsibilities.

She should be ashamed of herself for reading those words that were purposely crafted by the GOP. Get your own words – write your own speech…you're going for the VP position, geez.

RED FLAG: She is not doing any media interviews. Maybe because she is really not prepared and can't handle the grueling questions? HMMM…..makes you wonder and realize that she IS just a pawn.

"I knew there was a price to pay for not being there with my children and to this day I ache when I think about it. They had their mother to sustain them, but I worried about the effect of that part of me I left behind – my absence. They lived with the presence of my absence and I wonder about the costs – the opportunities lost – the life not lived." http://www.thisoldgrouch.com

This whole thing is so bizarre to me. It's like being in a bad dream and not being able to wake up. Are you serious, America? Palin was virtually unknown outside of Alaska just ONE week ago. A woman, who in her own words "wondered what it is a Vice President does all day". A woman who wants to deny women the right to terminate a pregnancy even if conception occurs as a result of rape or incest.

Now, she's more popular than Obama or McCain. What does that say about the mindset of voters in this country. I've heard people express how much they love her, her kids, even her parents…who've only been shown on TV once at the RNC and have never uttered a word (as far as an interview goes) So what is it about her that has endeared her to so many people.

The scandalous baggage that accompanies her nomination is as lengthy as the Bering Strait…yet she's almost revered by many woman and some men that have been interviewed since the announcement by McCain that she would be his running mate.

The "maverick" is looking more and more like a sidekick…merely going along with the powers that be…he says and does whatever he thinks his champions want to hear. Just like calling lobbyists 'birds of prey' which is a total contradiction to what his true ties with these unnecessary evils in Washington are.

Come on America…are we so shallow that a pretty face is all it takes to win us over? Gov. Palin hasn't given not ONE interview outlining her plans for this country as VP since McCain picked her….only pre-written rhetoric aimed at tearing down the Democratic nominee and his party.

> Come on America…are we so shallow that a pretty
> face is all it takes to win us over?

Yes. Shallow and uneducated. Forty percent of us don't believe in evolution, for example, and aren't sure if the earth goes around the sun or vice-versa. Americans are about as uneducated as Medieval people were, but they had a better excuse. They had swords at their throats. With us it's voluntary.

The issue Penelope is not the travel. The issue is what you want to offer your kids. I spent several years leaving Sunday night, getting home Friday night just in time to go to my kids hockey games, spending the weekend at their activities, doing laundry and getting on a plane and doing it over again week after week. I did it because I believed in what I did, it made me a better person and a better Mom and I had a supportive husband who allowed me to keep this hectic schedule. My kids are now in college, well adjusted, in great relationships and our family is as close as ever. I never tried to do it all. There were times when I had to miss concerts, games etc. There were also times when I missed important meetings. It all came down to choice. I did what I had to do for my family and myself. It worked for me. But only because I believed that I was doing the best I could for my family. You have it so much easier with cell phones, e-mails and instant messaging. You can keep in touch with your child and still do your work. Sarah and her family will also work it out. I hate when women question each other's decisions and judge what they do. When I look at Sarah and her husband I see a team that works together, raising their family that they love. Nothing more and nothing less.

I understand your point, I do, and I'm with you when you say you hate her politics.

But I don't get why everyone is picking at her ability to run for VP when she has a young family. I live in the UK, and our former Prime Minister Tony Blair raised four young children whilst he was in office, including one who was born during his time in Downing Street.

Yes, the role of the father is different, but equally important nonetheless. And whilst he was leading the country, his wife Cherie was a full-time QC; both clearly extremely demanding roles.

The fact is that whether you're running for President, or working 10 hours a day, 7 days a week in Wal-Mart, a good parent will always find a way to raise their children respectably. My parents both held down full-time jobs whilst raising me and my brother, and I know few parents who don't work full-time and balance their working lives with their parental responsibilities.

And what better place would there be to grow up than the White House, with mommy and daddy working at home most of the time?

I'd settle for landing on her landing strip.

heh. heh. heh.

I find this post extremely important. You really showed your vulnerability. I totally agree. There is the mom guilt that we as mothers have just genetically there and we can't just overlook our genetics. I know what you mean by pretty. It is more of an awe that she seems so put together and holding strong to her beliefs and a mom and has a husband and doesn't have the "perfect" life that so many politicians try to show they have when we all know it is a lie. It is a beauty that a woman wishes she had.
I am a working mom and many times I just want to scream, but no one is watching my every move or judging my every word. However, we are all doing this to Palin. She can't just stop and scream, yell at her kids, stay in her PJ's on a saturday because she needs a break etc. We are all watching and judging. It is not sexism to say I am not sure if a mom can do this job. I couldn't. I wouldn't want to give up my precious time with my family. But we are all waiting almost to see how she does it and in some ways will she be successful or will she fail and which is it that we all want to see happen?

Nice job……I always enjoy reading your articles, but wanted to respond
to this one….
1.) Your kids love you – always know and remember that.
2.) You have to also love yourself – you are doing a lot of the right things
but it is going to be hard – if it was easy everybody would be doing
it. —–so—–
3.) Don't give up your dreams – if you can work with your "X" there are
ways you can travel and he can take care of the kids – they love him too,
so they are not going to hate you because they are with him.
4.) I know "setting up a schedule" sounds like an easy solution and it never
really is, but, if you can do your travel 4 days a week, the other "3" are
really great (and maybe enough) "kids time".
5.) The PTA does suck – try something else – I personally love teaching Junior
Achievement – gets you into the class room teaching kids stuff they don't
normally get and guess what – you can pick the class and subject – so if
your oldest is in grade school – pick a class that s/he is in and teach that
class for an hour a week for six weeks (great stuff – and the kids (especially
your's) will love it)…Also very rewarding for you and see thought #2 (love
yourself)….!…..
6.) Never stop writing these articles – it is soul food for me and a lot of your
other regular readers – "THANK YOU"…..!…..
7.) I will see what I can do to get you on Sarah's plane – or at least
her bus when she is in Wisconsin…..
Thank you,
…Rick…

According to this article Sarah Palin hid her pregnancy until 3rd trimester, and only told close family & friends about the Downs. Her children didn't even know about the Downs until the baby was born.

The article also says she doesn't separate motherhood from business in that the kids are with her alot at her offices, & she even has a crib & swing in her offices for the baby & she nurses the baby in her office while on conference calls.

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/09/08/america/08baby.php

I can't believe the 1950's era statements made in this blog and by commenters. Sarah and Todd have made a decision that she will serve the public just as the McCain's, Obama's, Clinton's, Bush's etc. The only difference is that Sarah is being cast as someone that should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen tending to her young family. Her family will deal with her decision to serve the public as every other government leader's family has had to. Give her a break and your support whether you agree with her politics or not. She is a role model for girls and women to aspire to their highest potential and to live their values in the face of criticism. Who knows what leaders will follow because Sarah had the courage to run for VP.

We so often judge our leaders in terms of ourselves. Is this a person we'd like? Would we like to sit down and have a beer/cup of coffee with him/her?

If so, we vote yes!

But people who run for high office aren't like us. Judging them in terms of what we could manage, what we would want for ourselves, is I think a mistake.

Every now and then I like to check this blog to see if you are still peddling the same 'ol self absorbed exhibitionist fest. You never disappoint. I find it unlikely that you feel guilty about child care issues as much as it fits your image to talk about feeling guilty about child care issues. From your writings your priorities are very clear, so nobody is kidding anybody. Somehow you generally make everything a narcissistic mirror, even a national election.

What does this candidate's life say about meeeeee?

And how is her husband "lost"? Little projection there regarding your own X?

Well at least you are consistent.

We have this book on penguins in Antarctica–their lifestyle, y'know.
The mother is sitting on the egg. She's been sitting there a long time without food. When the egg hatches, the mother goes off towards the sea, where she must get food for herself or starve.
The penguin chick sits on the father's feet, tucked up under his feathers, and they both wait for the mom to return. When she returns, it is the father's turn to go to the sea to catch his belly-ful.
Nobody told those penguins it couldn't work.
They make it work with less angst and analysis than we are doing here.
PT, minimize the angst/crying, keep on experimenting with your schedule to see what works best. Enlist the help of those who love your children and who are good teachers for them.

CAK

I just want to say that I appreciate what and how you write. I love feeling like I know you, even though I don't. Your life, like many, is a beautiful mess.

I see all these yes/no, black/white responses, and it just makes me sad, because that's the problem with the world today. No nuance, no appreciation for subtlety or dichotomy. These are a few of my favorite things.

I'm resisting the urge to get into a rant here, to go all "I am John Gault" on everyone. Just a show of support and sincere appreciation. We love ya, Penelope. Don't change a thing.

> Wow Penelope, I'm impressed by the number of
> conservatives that read your blog. I had no idea.

Why not? Penelope = Careerist, brash, narcissistic, not well-educated, unaware of her limitations, delusional, a failure at everything she tries.

Sounds like a magnet for conservatives. I'm sure GW has her page bookmarked. And Cindy probably keeps it marked for John McCain, since he can't use a computer.

I am not sure if any of these blog articles are meant for real or just for entertainment. Considering the amazing amount of response they have, I just feel the urge to state that the topic, although handled in a great style and with a lot of wit, has in my opinion no relevance with respect to deciding an election. It is clear that a woman who is aiming for the White House will put her family second. As she seems to have close relations to God she will also have no difficulties to explain to her children that they are altogether serving a higher purpose and can be proud of it. No matter how many special need kids she has, she has also all means for special needs care for her children which other parents don't, so her situation is only remotely comparable to the average American woman. Consequently I would lay the focus of investigation on her program with respect to work/life balance for "normal" people, checking whether it is realistic, considering the fact that the system won't change over night. I haven't read much about this anywhere, from neither side, Obama or McCain, but admitted, I haven't had time to read everything out there, after all, USA is far away.
It still "worries" me, as voting decisions seem to be based on outlook and public behaviour of the candidates, their ability to get people excited, the feelings of "hope for change" they are able to install in the unfortunate public (the first I call demagogy and hope is too weak a feeling to change anything) as well as distant similarities with one's own life (woman, demanding job, special needs children).
I personally would want to know whether a canditat will expect America's women to live up to her achievements (kind of: I could do it, why can't you), ignoring the fact that normal people don't have the same circumstances and life goals. Or whether she is using her influence to make things more realistic (in a sense: I have done it, it sucks, so let's change it). Any information on this out there?

Newsweek just published an article comparing internet runors about Sarah Palin with researched facts.

Soledad O'Brien got burned from one of these facts when she pointed out that Sarah Palin allegedly cut Special Needs funding in education when in fact Sarah tripled it.

Tripled it.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/157986

We are so emdedded with our biases and views that even when facts refuting our views are given, we just can't seem to break away from our thinking. Both sides project their learned biases onto the other side.

The problem is candidates from both sides break the mold. That makes it difficult in our heads to reconcile.

How dare a Mother of 5 be a Governor and a Mother at the same time

How dare an African-American candidate appeal to a mass audience and be articulate.

We need to look at the facts, put aside our collective bias favoring either party / ideology, and look at these candidates based solely on their record and facts.

Newsweek article posted below:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/157986

@natekazebier

"Penelope = Careerist, brash, narcissistic, not well-educated, unaware of her limitations, delusional, a failure at everything she tries."

Do us all a favor and try not to treat your blog posts as Penelope-bashing therapy sessions. If you don't like what she has to say, post your inane comments elsewhere.

"I want to see because I need some new ideas."

It's like you aged 10 years through the course of writing two blogs. You almost completely slammed Palin with judgment in the first column and now you're thinking there might be something to learn from her. I wish we all had the "I want to see because I need some new ideas" attitude and not feel like we know it all. I'm not saying change your belief system or be wishy washy, but be open.

Your last sentence was a stark contrast to "I honestly don't think I've ever talked with someone who believed rape victims shouldn't get an abortion." That makes me (a pro-lifer) feel the same as you would feel if I flippantly said "I honestly don't think I've ever talked with someone who believed killing a baby is okay."

I know you don't want to read this "new idea," but I bet I know Palin's secret. It's her faith. No, she isn't perfect and I'm sure any scrap of dirty laundry that can be will be brought out in the next weeks and months. Yet, please know that secular research has proven the authenticity of religion (or high character if that's less scary to think about) to happier people and mental well being. I suggest reading a secular book called Authentic Happiness (pushes no religion) by Martin Seligman a pyschologist and see what the data says about happiness or a "sane life." Then, I'd suggest reading a Bible (normally I'd suggest reading the Bible first, but these days that's about as useful as telling someone "I can't believe you are ok with killing babies"). Perspective is a funny thing.

"I can't believe that as a WOMAN she is against abortion even in the case of rape and incest. How barbaric to make a woman have to carry the child of a rapist for 9 months and then forever after! Most pro-life people (like myself) make that distinction- they believe abortion is wrong except in the case of rape or incest."

I actually think Sarah Palin's views are more consistent than yours, and of "most pro-life people" if they share your views. This is why: You say you believe abortion is wrong because it's killing a person. Well if a fertilized egg, or fetus, or zygote, or whatever is a person, it's a person regardless of how it came to be conceived. That "person" did not have any say in its father being a rapist, or in its mother being attacked. It didn't ask to be brought into existence, but you're saying it's okay to kill it because of the unfortunate circumstances in which it came to exist?

Here is where your true colors start to show. If you think it's okay to kill a fetus that was conceived through rape, obviously you don't really think a fetus is a person in the first place. This isn't about abortion being murder, you are just hiding behind that argument like a coward. This is really about PUNISHING WOMEN FOR HAVING SEX. You don't want to punish a woman for being raped (how kind of you) so no need to force her to carry the pregnancy to term. Those godless whores, though, with the unmitigated GALL to have sex just for fun, or love, and think they can GET AWAY WITH IT – now THOSE sluts need to pay. Make them carry those pregnancies to term, and THAT'LL teach 'em.

You don't think a fetus is a person, you think a fetus is a punishment or a consequence, like a parking ticket.

I am pro-choice but have respect for a pro-life person who is CONSISTENT in their views about abortion being murder. The minute you try to tell me it is or isn't murder, based on the circumstances surrounding conception, is the minute I lose ALL respect for anything you have to say. You are just trying to control people, plain and simple.

"In my life, I have found there is no way to have time with kids when you travel because there is no chance to carve out time; you're just not there."

There will be times you can't travel with your kids. You can't always be there and there's no substitute for it so I'll float the following idea in case you haven't thought of it or tried it already – a web cam. You would need some good hardware and a good broadband connection on both ends for a good experience.

Penelope, I too, apologize for all of the haters on here. You raise good points, and valid, searching questions.

And I don't think that Palin's situation can be compared to that of the Obama's. I've watched friends have young babies recently. These are died in the wool feminists who, during pregnancy, said that their husbands would be pulling equal weight with the kids, etc. And mostly, those husbands do. But what they've also found out is that it's not that easy to substitute one parent for another…there's something special about their relationship with their baby as mothers. And they've found that they desperately need their own mothers more than ever for advice and guidance. These are both things — a relationship with a new baby and providing guidance to her own daughter, about to become a mother — that Palin seems to be turning her back on with her choice.

Furthermore, we're just starting to come to terms with the fact that as women, we can't do it all. It's just not possible. Inevitably, something suffers — including you, the woman. I think you articulate that point so well, Penelope. Sarah Palin is a different version of the same "mommy porn" that you posted about not long ago…and making mom's across the country feel guilty about all they're not doing as a result. I don't think this is a step forward for women; it's a huge step back, and I applaud you for speaking out about it.

I don't have kids & I am a woman with great career….honestly I don't think the # of kids she has should matter for her ability to be a VP. I would not vote for her just because she is a woman, actually I would not vote for her because she is not running for office but McCain…what troubles me is that a 72 year old man, that lives in the cold war era who keeps changing his views just to fulfil his life-long dream of being a president. And Ms. Palin being so close to leading our great country in case he doesn't make the 4-years. For me, woman or not, I care about the issues, and I can NOT relate at all to her or McCain. I hope people care enough about the issues and factor in education, life-experience, policy, health care, housing market, job security and availability etc….it scares me to think that if McCain wins, we will have conservative judges that will take this country 30 year back and keep us BOXED….I see I got carried away….she's a great speaker, but no substance….or so i think….thanks for the post, and love your blog

Sorry to keep injecting politics into this discussion, and under different circumstances I'd probably be rooting for Sarah Palin. I don't know what Penelope intended when she made this post, but this is ultimately about which political party gets to control our country for the next 4 years, not Sarah Palin's bio and her family. Everyone should be crystal clear about what will happen if the Republicans continue to control the Executive Office, and they should pay special attention to the activities of Dick Cheney, that is, if they can actually get that information. Just a reminder that Cheney refuses to hand over internal documents and communications generated while he has been in office, documents that the Executive Office is required by law to preserve. Why, you might ask? Because Dick Cheney has decided that his office is not part of the Executive office, and is therfore exempt from that requirement. Now there's a loophole for you! Lets see, is that creating a new branch of government, or is it breaking up an existing one?

This is why it is so important for this country to leave this Republican party behind. From Ronald "I don't recall" Reagan to Bush's phantom WMDs to this latest action by Cheney, the Republican party has clearly established itself as the party of fraud, deception, and manipulation.

Steve C.

I'm not a mother yet, but I totally think about what you've mentioned ALL the time…how will I successfully balance work and family? If a woman pursues a career, is it inevitable that the family will have to sacrifice? Is it fair to the children? Or maybe it's good for them, especially the girls, to have their mother be a career role model? Penelope, you truly are a great role model…keep up the good work! :)

So many people have stated how they loved Sarah Palin's speech and her clothes. I'd like to point out —

1) Her speech was written by McCain's camp BEFORE she was selected as VP. In fact they admitted they had to rewrite it because it was "too masculine" (their words).

2) Huffington Post has a story up that details Sarah Palin is being dressed by stylists since joining McCain's campaign.

So let's recap, she didn't write her "amazing" speech nor does she pick out any of her designer outfits! This woman is more manufactured than Avril Lavigne AND Britney Spears.

Tell me again, what do you guys find so fascinating about Sarah Palin???

This is ONE scary blog,Penelope! WAKE UP!

get over the fluff! find HILLARY CLINTON a fascinating role model if you need one.

Ms. Palin is a religious zealot on a mission which will lead the US blindly into nothing but war.

If you plan to vote for her…PLEASE stay home and play with the kids!

Just checked in to see if this string was still alive and read the last post, an it kind of struck me: It must be like all the other claims being made by Sarah Palin and about Sarah Palin, it's probably all bullshit…she doesn't do all that stuff. If it get's done, somebody else does it. That poor woman is in so far over her head, down must look like up to her. It's kind of sad, really.
Steve C.

I've had trouble with the Dumb but Nasty Environmental Criminal part of Palin. But maybe that's just a hang-up of mine.