Do you want to know what you should do right now? Do you want to know what your best bet is for your next career? Look at what you were doing when you were a kid. Nothing changes when you grow up except that you get clouded vision from thinking about what you SHOULD do — to be rich, or successful, or to please your parents or peers — the possibilities for should are endless.
When I was a kid, my brother and I went to Hebrew school every Tuesday and Thursday. It didn’t take me long to realize that the classes were absurd. Parents didn’t make you do your homework, and teachers just kept teaching the same thing week after week. At some point I realized that all kids would get bar or bat mitzvahs as long as we showed up on a regular basis. So I stopped paying attention.
Except for the best class ever. That was the class when my teacher told us to close our books and she described her time in Auschwitz. She talked in a thicker German accent than usual. And she showed us the number the Nazis tattooed on her arm. I remember every second of her story.
The second best day of Hebrew school was when I convinced my younger brother to ditch with me. I had to sell him on the idea: First that we wouldn’t get caught. (I had a plan to be back in time so that we could walk to the parking lot with the other kids.) Second I had to convince him that we would have a good time. (I brought money to buy ice cream at the store five blocks away.)
He was really not happy about the idea. He kept telling me that it wasn’t so bad to go to Hebrew school and that it was over in an hour, and in that one hour you could ask to go to the bathroom two times.
I prevailed.
This is what’s true about me in my Hebrew school story:
I have no patience for group learning.
I love a good story.
I enjoy trying to convince people to see things my way.
I’m a risk taker.
And all those things are true of me today, as well. That’s why I think that you can figure out who you are and what you should be doing by telling yourself the stories of your childhood. In fact, in almost every story I can think of, I’m trying to convince someone to do things my way.
Here’s another thing you can do to figure out what you should do with your life: Close your eyes and think of a great memory of childhood… Do you have it?
In my own, haphazard studies of this test, you can always learn something from the moment you pick. The first time I did this exercise, I thought of playing in my grandparents’ huge front yard. Of course, I was telling all my younger cousins what to do. Probably telling them why croquet was a great idea and I was going first. Something like that. But the bigger thing I learn from the story is that I am connected to space and nature and running around. All still true for me now, but it took me years of living in big cities before I could figure that out.
It’s nearly impossible to eradicate our life of SHOULDS, because we all want to make the right decisions. But I think I could have figured out right decisions for me a lot faster if I had realized how much we reveal about our true selves when we’re young.
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I agree that you can look to your younger self to find out about your current self. However, I must caution that you can often look back and see what you want to see. You pull the characteristics out of the story that you want to pull out, which match your version of what you are today. Your perception of yourself changes and I would say that for anyone, the way that you view an event and the characteristics of yourself that you see are different as your current perception of yourself changes. I have seen this in myself. I sunk into depression and saw a particular event in my childhood very differently from when I wasn’t depressed- and I caught myself thinking that way. I think that it would be very interesting to keep a detailed diary of your life from as young an age as you can (something I have tried to do as much as possible) and see whether the characteristics that you see today match the ones you saw in the past. I also believe that your awareness of a characteristic can increase over time, and you can see that characteristic better as your life goes on, even if it was there all along- the hard thing is to distinguish between whether it was there but you didn’t see it or if you see it now but it wasn’t really there.
Posted by Jackie on July 24, 2009 at 5:22 pm | permalink |
Memories of childhood, consciously examined, are indeed complicated. I must have had some happiness but I only remember a docile child perplexed by the circumstances in which she found herself.
Posted by Donna on March 22, 2010 at 8:01 am | permalink |
I know what I should do however sometimes I don’t feel like to do it on time.
Posted by FatBurningFurnace on January 26, 2010 at 1:16 am | permalink |
I think we need adjust our self-study according to our age and needs.
Posted by Mp3 Rocket Pro on January 26, 2010 at 1:17 am | permalink |
I’m reading a book called “The Soul’s Code” by James Hillman and it has a similar message to this post… Who we are as children, what we were interested in, what we enjoyed doing and were good at…that’s who we truly are. I believe this and embrace it. It’s too bad I spent my 20s and 30s beating myself up for being introverted and anti-social. I love to be alone and read and write, and I’ve always been that way. I used to take my books out into the woods or up in one of my brother’s treeforts. Those are some of my happiest memories. I think I need a treefort now. My husband can build one for me!
Posted by Cindy on April 16, 2010 at 3:38 pm | permalink |
When I did this exercise five years ago, I came up with the sea of rocks we used to walk on at the cult. When we got tired of walking, we’d sit down and sift them sorting them to find what we’d hoped would turn out to be diamonds. Sometimes we’d put them in our mouths and suck the salty dirt off. That’s why even though geology was a huge downsize of my initial dreams, I knew it would work for me.
Posted by Jael on April 21, 2013 at 6:27 pm | permalink |