The importance of the kiss-up

I get a lot of email, and the biggest whiners are the people who refuse to kiss up to their boss and therefore have stalled careers.

Newsflash: You have to brown nose, but the professional phrase for this act is “manage up”. This is such a basic pre-requisite for career success that I am shocked when people have to be convinced to do it.

Almost every workplace problem that I’ve heard can be boiled down to three pieces of advice:

1. Get to know yourself better.

2. Get to know your boss better.

3. Make sure you are making both of you happy.

Jared Sandberg’s column this week is a good overview of the culture of managing one’s boss, “Why Mr. Kiss-up Keeps Getting Ahead”. Sandberg is one of my favorite career columnists, maybe because usually he doesn’t even pretend to give advice; the only advice is from his headline writer.

I have a feeling Sandberg’s situation is actually a good example of managing up: He doesn’t want to give advice, he wants to do reporting. But his boss knows that career advice sells. So Sandberg writes the column he wants and lets his boss hire someone to slap advice on the top. A good example of how compromising a little can align your own goals with those of your boss.

Comments (5)

Of course! This is so obvious to someone who has worked for even 5+ years, but it remains so repugnant to novices. The idea is — when you “manage” your boss by complimenting them, supporting their (sometimes awful) ideas, helping them achieve their (questionable) goals, etc., you are actuallky controlling your own fate, taking matters into your own hands; and, short of doing anything immoral or illegal, that’s the way the game is played. If it’s not for you, then be a freelancer, independent contractor, or the like. But then you will have clients to please and appease….

Posted by Lisa R. on May 23, 2006 at 7:40 am | permalink |

Good point, Lisa. People who really don’t want to manage up should stop pretending that corporate life is going to work out. It won’t. Freelancing is a better route. Though, as a freelancer, I have to say that it’s not like I don’t have to manage up also. It’s just less intense…which is actually too bad, because I’m good at managing up.

Posted by penelope trunk on May 25, 2006 at 8:53 pm | permalink |

I agree with you. You have to kiss up to make your boss happy and to make yourself happy. No matter how much you hate kissing up, it gets you far.

Posted by Nicole Foster on June 29, 2009 at 1:52 pm | permalink |

I have not heard of a barley only flour mix before. It sounds good and very healthy. I'll make an effort to look out for it.

Posted by matchmaker on January 18, 2010 at 9:13 pm | permalink |

This video post is in fact impressive, the noise quality and the picture quality of this film post is genuinely amazing.

Posted by Fermin Aronov on April 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm | permalink |

Comments are closed

Of course! This is so obvious to someone who has worked for even 5+ years, but it remains so repugnant to novices. The idea is — when you “manage” your boss by complimenting them, supporting their (sometimes awful) ideas, helping them achieve their (questionable) goals, etc., you are actuallky controlling your own fate, taking matters into your own hands; and, short of doing anything immoral or illegal, that’s the way the game is played. If it’s not for you, then be a freelancer, independent contractor, or the like. But then you will have clients to please and appease….
Posted by Lisa R. on May 23, 2006 at 7:40 am | permalink |
Good point, Lisa. People who really don’t want to manage up should stop pretending that corporate life is going to work out. It won’t. Freelancing is a better route. Though, as a freelancer, I have to say that it’s not like I don’t have to manage up also. It’s just less intense…which is actually too bad, because I’m good at managing up.
Posted by penelope trunk on May 25, 2006 at 8:53 pm | permalink |
I agree with you. You have to kiss up to make your boss happy and to make yourself happy. No matter how much you hate kissing up, it gets you far.
Posted by Nicole Foster on June 29, 2009 at 1:52 pm | permalink |
I have not heard of a barley only flour mix before. It sounds good and very healthy. I'll make an effort to look out for it.
Posted by matchmaker on January 18, 2010 at 9:13 pm | permalink |
This video post is in fact impressive, the noise quality and the picture quality of this film post is genuinely amazing.
Posted by Fermin Aronov on April 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm | permalink |