Sean “Diddy” Combs with his mom as his plus one
There’s widespread anger that Sean Combs was only convicted of prostitution charges, not the more serious trafficking counts. But our outrage is misdirected. Yes, the law fails domestic violence victims, but before that, the law fails to protect children from the conditions that produce both predators and victims. And if we don’t hold parents accountable for violating ethical obligations, we can’t protect children at all.
My to-do list when the kids were home was divided into A’s, B’s and C’s. The A’s were emergencies — like ordering a SpongeBob cake. The B’s were waiting to become emergencies, like seeing if swimsuits still fit. The C’s were things I couldn’t admit I wasn’t doing. It was like my off-site storage for wishes.
Once both kids were in college I did what everyone does with off-site storage: ignore it. But after a year, I took a peek. And this jumped out at me: attack people who think there’s virtue in conscientiousness. I felt an urgent need to do this because people think I would have more money saved—any money saved—if I were more conscientious. But I know the truth: conscientiousness has no impact on success except being a gateway drug to perfectionism. Read more
It looked like a touching moment. Isaiah Hartenstein, fresh off an NBA championship win, carried his sleeping infant onto the podium to celebrate. Cameras panned. Fans cheered. But the sound levels on that stage were louder than a jet engine—reaching 120 to 130 decibels. That’s the threshold where irreversible hearing damage can happen in seconds. And millions of people watched, thinking this was what fatherhood should look like.
On top of that, Hartenstein held his infant with one hand around the middle while gesturing wildly with the other—a position that left the baby’s head and neck completely unsupported. Even teammates reminded him to support the baby’s head, but Hartenstein ignored the advice entirely. Read more
My oldest kid is looking for internships.
For those of you who have not had a kid call you hysterical because their life is over, let me tell you that all the good summer internships are given away in June of the summer before. Read more
Child abuse is distorted love. Sometimes it’s broken bones, but often it’s parents who say they care while eroding a child’s sense of safety and worth. The Menendez brothers are getting a sentencing review, and after 30 years of a life sentence they could be released from prison. But what’s really on review is our collective refusal to understand long-term abuse. The Menendez brothers are a cultural mirror: the more we understand their story, the more we must ask what we’ve normalized in our own homes.
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When my kids lived with me I felt like I had no control over when I could write, so I had to find happiness in helping my kids meet their goals. With both of them in college, I don’t set their goals anymore. So I’m trying to train myself to be happy when I write since that’s what I can control.
Meanwhile, I try to be an encouraging listener because I read that the thing that most influences college success (after the super-influencer: money) is parental encouragement in the student’s ability. Read more
While lurking in a Duke University discussion group I read that freshmen who have the most trouble adjusting are those who are delusional about being pre-med and those who never learned to write. The homeschooler in me finds a second wind: I tell Z we’re writing a paper every day until I drop him off at Duke. Read more
This is a picture of indomitable me: Look at the Cartier watch. I bought it with the stock sale from my first startup. It felt like money was falling from the sky, so ten grand for a watch was nothing. We walked through Central Park every day to get to the top nursery school for autistic kids in NYC. I got him the best speech therapist, the best occupational therapist, and I was networking to find out what was next. Read more
Artist: Li Songsong
This is how trafficking happens online. Often the system is so efficient that it never has to change to in-person.
Trigger warning.
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In my courses about personality type, INFJs ask the most questions. ENTJs ask the fewest questions.
The only type less fun than an INTJ is an ISTJ. So if an INTJ wants to look fun they need to marry an ISTJ.
ENFJs were the nicest about me being late to every webinar and they were the type most likely to book a one-on-one coaching session after the course. Read more