Childcare is not a mystery, or a math problem for the elite. Every developed country except the US guarantees paid maternity leave, because science has shown that the majority of a baby’s brain forms after birth, and the baby needs a single, primary caregiver during that formation. Read more
One of my kids’ credit cards is maxed out. I planned on paying it, and then I didn’t have the money.
I have mastered dissociation in the face of not having money for very important things. I mean, that’s been going on for twenty years. But this feels different. Worse.
I’ve never had a steady income. I surprise even myself with the ways I make money now: managing IEP meetings, getting kids research positions. Maybe we are all surprised by our work. Because it’s not just our earnings that top out at age 40; so does our sense of control over our career. If I’m being honest, I already knew that, but who wants to be honest about career erosion? Read more
The most shocking part of Sean Combs’ trial has been how many people were unmoved by the sight of domestic violence. Over and over again, we hear testimonies of people who watched Combs beat up Cassie Ventura and said nothing. Here’s the problem: what could they say? Given a horrific video of Combs beating her up and his lawyers not even denying he’s a violent abuser, how can anyone take action in the face of domestic violence? What is a person really able to do? Read more
You know how if you have to be somewhere early in the morning and it’s super important then you can’t sleep the night before? That was me. I finally went to sleep at 3am and then I was an hour late for my 9am appointment. The courtroom was full and on one side were white people and one side were Black people, so I was like, okay, here’s where I belong. And then someone asked me if I was a lawyer, and I said no, and just as I was getting ready to go to the other side I heard someone calling my name.
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I don’t make Nino pay child support and I pay him back for almost all the money he spends when he’s with the kids. He just sent me an accounting for all the times I haven’t paid him back in 15 years. I owe him $8540. I told him he has to wait because I’m currently being evicted from an apartment I love, and if I kill myself over being evicted and people see I just paid Nino they might think I killed myself because of him.
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I’m going to stop being so transactional. This means that I’m not going to be as pissy as usual when your comments don’t come as frequently as they used to.
Well. Hold on. Right now I spend half my time reading science journals and I can’t help pausing when I see a paper about social media (you’d be surprised how many people get tenure looking at Instagram nonstop to conclude we shouldn’t look at Instagram nonstop). I read a paper that says that you can tell how good an influencer is, not by how many followers they have, but by how many comments they have. Read more
How much do you think Jeff Bezos will get in the divorce?
I haven’t heard anyone ask that. I’ve only read headlines like How Much Could MacKenzie Bezos Get? and How Much Will Jeff Bezos Lose? Read more
First of all, a confession: I think the wage gap is fine. I am paid much less than men with my experience and track record, and I don’t care, because I want to be with my kids.
Still, I know many people are passionate about closing the gap. In this post, I will tell you what you can do to close the wage gap. Read more
The only way I can write this is to tell myself I won’t publish it. I don’t even know how to write it. I know it’s convoluted because the only person who could understand it on the first try is the criminal lawyer. Read more
Everyone who said that me moving with the kids to Swarthmore would be the end of my marriage is probably right.
And while I’m at it, all the people who told me to stay away from the farmer when we were dating — you were probably right too.
And the people who say in the comments section that I don’t know how to do intimacy. I guess you were right also. Because clearly I’m having trouble. Read more