Online course: Unlock secrets for successful dating and marriage with personality type
This course will help you create the relationship you want. This course includes four days of on-demand video sessions and email-based course materials. You can purchase this course for anytime, on-demand access. The cost is $195.
Of all the ways personality type has helped me in my life, getting along with my significant other is the most valuable benefit but also the most stunning. Romantic relationships are complicated and difficult and personality type cuts through all of that. Really. And I’m excited to share the insights with you.
You can use personality type to pick a spouse that is a great match for you. And you can use personality type to make a marriage work, no matter which personality type you picked for a partner.
We can get along with anyone as long as we have empathy for that person. Also, the things that are annoying about a person emanate from the same personality traits that are great about the person — that is, our most pronounced strengths are also our most pronounced weaknesses. Which means in a long-term relationship the things that annoy us most about our partner actually contain a sort of secret code to getting along with our partner.
So I’ve put together a course about how different personality types work together so you can figure out who you should be dating, if that’s where you are in life. And you can figure out how to get along with the person you have already chosen, if you are partnered up already.
Unlock secrets for successful dating with personality type.
This course will help you understand the best personality type for you to date, and how to attract that person. The course will also show you how any match between you and each of the other types will unfold over the course of years. This way you can make a very educated decision about what sort of person to pursue, whether or not you should stay with a person you’re dating, and how to make any relationship more successful.
Use personality type to create a happy, enduring marriage.
This course will show you skills for getting along with your partner. You will discover that the arguments you have over and over again with your spouse are actually arguments that any two people with you and your partner’s type would be having all the time. Because all arguments are invariably about how we each process things, which is actually about type.
Learn the best communication techniques for your particular relationship.
Keeping a long-term relationship together requires understanding why someone does what they do, and why it makes sense for them. The magic of understanding what annoys you about a person is that invariably, that trait is part of what attracted you to that person. If you can understand that, you can keep a marriage together, in a positive, harmonious way. Because understanding personality type enables communication in a clear, productive, and supportive way.
Learn each personality type’s fatal flaw in relationships (and what to do about it).
Most arguments in a marriage are repetitive. That is, they come from misunderstanding the same personality tendencies over and over again. Someone who is always late, someone who is always cleaning. Someone who is very critical, someone who never notices details. These are all traits that can cause arguments in a marriage endlessly.
Relationship problems are seldom on person’s fault. Rather, relationship problems are the result of how two people interact, and if you can understand how people react based on their type, you will be able to not only predict conflict, but predict what will avoid conflict.
Personality type secrets relationship coaches will never tell you – but I will.
Personality type gives you such a clear view into a relationship that I think all couples should take a course to understand their relationship through this lens. Everyone should know why they pick who they pick, and why that choice drives them crazy. Because knowing those things will make your relationship great. Really.
This course isn’t so much about right and wrong answers for dating and marriage. Rather, the course will tell you why relationships unfold the way they do so you have more of an ability to choose a relationship you want, and make the one you choose work better than ever before.
This is going to be such a fun class. I think everyone should take it whether they are married or single. I have spent countless hours discussing this topic with Penelope & Melissa. Each conversation is more interesting than the next.
Understanding how I connect with people vs how other people connect with me was life changing. ENTPs are the type most like a sociopath, so it makes sense that relationships are hard for us.
100% agree with the logic of this instruction. Wife and I are opposites and we did this type of profiling nearly 20 years ago and it works like magic. The best thing is that it does not require either person to change other than a develop a little empathy and tolerance for someone who is different than you are. For the really smart people on this planet who know, or who have learned enough, to side with nature over nurture as a prime determinant of our behavior this is a no brainer. Even better than learning to accept another person is when you can learn to laugh (gently) at each others inevitable foibles instead of being angry at silly and almost unavoidable repetitive habits. The basic principle espoused here seems to me to be key training that schools, parents, or churches should be providing to everyone. I change my agree to 1000%.
I think this course sounds great but I am actually getting heart palpitations at the thought of you trying to meet “The course will also show you how any match between you and each of the other types will unfold over the course of years.” I think there are 136 different pairings and 256 if you try to do everything from each person’s pov. ACK!!! (Full disclosure, I didn’t actually google the math. I am an INFP and I “feel” like I did it right, but maybe a mathy person needs to jump in!) You probably ought to stock up on coffee (think of all the yoga you can get done!)
Although maybe you have the analytics to predict that only a select number of types would actually sign up and that would cut the numbers to a more manageable size. I’ll tell myself that rather than take a Xanax. (okay, I don’t actually take that…yet)
Oh yes, I can tell this would be helpful. I can’t afford to take the class, nor would my INTJ husband probably go for it anyway (he would see it as irrelevant), unless it was money I generate, but the more I learn about MBTI, the more it helps all of my relationships, of course, especially, my relationship with my husband. To understand these things helps me get things back to smooth sailing rather than really confusing and frustrating. I like the smooth sailing and don’t want unnecessary messiness in what should be a beautiful relationship that we both are thrilled to be in. I want to avoid the pitfalls that are so obviously caused by type differences (I am an INTP) and soar in the joy of a productive, fruitful, strong marriage.
It is useful also in understanding my mom, who is an ESFJ and has orientation points that make no sense to me.
Yay for MBTI. It seems to really get at reality of personality and how relationships are going to work. I agree.
This description of the class is enormously insightful. I agree with it.
This topic is continually in the top three Type questions I receive on LinkedIn and Facebook.
Before sending anyone to such a class, I would want to know which model for compatibility they are using.
For example, one of the poorest models out there lists ENTP among the most compatible with INFJ, when these Typea are among the least compatible.
What do you mean by “model for compatibility?”
Hello Lauren
A model for compatibility would predict likelihood of a fulfilling and resonant relationship over time. A model would predict the initial spark, and whether the fire will exhaust its fuel quickly, or if it will have the emotional resonance needed to sustain itself.
A model is a way of explaining; it could be a formula or an algorithm or a map. It is not the real thing, but a representation that avails insight.
When it comes to Types, we should be able to rank ever Type’s compatibility with all other Types. Compatibility means similarity in intrinsic motivations. Any could find some extrinsic motivation and be compatible for a while for a given purpose; but intrinsic motivations are who we really are.
This is why the old phrase “opposites attract” is a warning, not a recommendation. Study after study proves that the more similar we are, the more fulfilled both will be.
Lack of emotional fulfillment by one partner or both has long been considered “normal”. Sadly, the idea of “marriages require work” produce shaming and blaming. If a marriage failed, it is presumed that someone didn’t work hard enough. In reality, it could have been that the marriage was doomed from the beginning.
Every Type has a different conceptualization of Love. We only imagine to mean the same thing when we use the word.
What makes you feel loved?
Do you know what makes your partner feel loved?
That can all be modeled with Type.
The most accurate model of compatibility would say for example that INTJ Hillary and ENFP Bill are going to have some compatibility issues. The feeling-channel for the ENFP is Ne modulated with Fi. The feeling-channel for the INTJ is Fi modulated with Se. Having the same polarity of feeling, but crossing the S/N, predicts communications issues.
So for example, while should be intuitively obvious that an INFJ with an ISFJ are going to lack desired resonance of their feeling-channels, it requires the model to recognize that an NFJ and an NTP will also have challenges in sustaining emotional resonance.
Crossing the T/F barrier is problematic. This is defined by gene ADRA2b, which influences the neurotransmitter norepinephrine.
This gets to the modeling that identifies Type. When someone says they are a given Type, we know that there is around a 30% chance that they are incorrect. Genes predict the bellcurves for our personality and talents. Childhood predicts our ability to develop and refine ourselves within our bellcurves. We are 60% influenced by genes, and 30% influenced by childhood; (10% other). If we know someone’s genetic profile and a bit about their childhood, we can rather well predict their personality and quite a lot more.
We can distinguish T versus F, or being an Se user versus an Si user, all entirely by genes. Some other aspects of Type, we can see via fMRI.
Let’s not forget attachment development; this falls within that 30% childhood factor. We meet people of a given Type with whom we should be compatible, but they are – pardon the expression broken by their parental relationships. They have trouble forming healthy attachments because they were denied this as children.
They respond to the prospect of love out of fear and distrust. They may respond out of ego to validate their perspective.
The good news is that maladaptive attachment can be healed by being in a compatible relationship; though it can be hard on their partner.
Attachment issues add another modeling dimension beyond Type,
I hope all of this helps.
Wow, Gary, I am blown away by the depth of your response. Thank you for taking such time to share it. I’ve often found the “ideal” pairings in the Myers Briggs internet-sphere to leave something to be desired, so I’m going to be ruminating over your post for awhile.
How have you learned all of this regarding emotional resonance, intrinsic/extrinsic motivations, genetics, etc? I want to devour more but don’t even know where I would find resources covering this stuff.
And of course now I’m curious what you might have to say about me and my boyfriend. I am an INFJ and he is an ISTP. We are moving towards making commitments. I’m curious if you have any thoughts on our personality pairing… (I can offer more details if that would be helpful).
Crossing the T/F barrier is different for different combinations. I’m an INFJ married to an INTJ, and I would DIE being married to an F because, as an INFJ, I’m not a very “feeley” F, and having a partner who wants to focus on making money while I read and care for my family gives me SUCH a fulfilling life. The barrier that seems to matter most is the S/N barrier- that’s the one that totally makes (and breaks) communication. My husband and I- both iNtuitives raised in Sensor families, have to work SO hard to have effective communication with our relatives, and even then it’s hard to go from “effective” t0 “meaningful.
Penelope, will you have tips on bridging the iNtuitive/Sensor gap? Because if you can help with that, I’ll do the class.
Caitlin – I totally agree you. I’ve never been drawn to feelers, and I imagine a relationship with one could be really awful. As an INFJ, I am very logical for a feeler. And quite honestly, I like to be the one who’s most F in my partnerships. It gives me a feeling of meaning.
I’m also an INFJ married to an INTJ and agree completely.
I was once engaged to another INFJ and we drove each other crazy. Constantly catching the other’s moods. With a T, I don’t have to worry about cheering someone else up because they caught my bad mood like a cold. Bad moods are also shorter in duration when your partner is unfazed by it.
Sensors are a challenge for me to. Our conversations are a struggle because I want to look below the surface, ponder and question and they’re satisfied with talking about it at a surface level.
I think any type partnership can work, and every combination has challenges.
What is the feeling-channel for an INTP?
I second what Lauren wrote about it being a great comment.
I’m really looking forward to this class. As an INTJ woman married to an ISFP man, there has been an overwhelming amount of miscommunication between us throughout our relationship. Now that we are understanding personality type better, it is already helping us to have patience with one another’s differences. We’re quickly figuring out that our disagreements will never end until we stop expecting each other to be like ourselves. We are learning to laugh about my lack of social skills and his inability/disinterest in planing for the future. I like that this class will push us even further to understanding each other.
Cassie! I’ve heard and read P say that ENTP’s are most like sociopaths. I’m an ENTP. Why are we like sociopaths??? I’m going to sign up for this class – even though watching Penelope have a technological + misc. meltdown EVERY TIME a live class happens and it literally hurts my heart – but can you two give a little more insight into this claim now? My week ahead – and all of my loved ones – thanks you in advance :)
Since there seems to be so much weight given to Meyers Briggs on this site, I offer another opnion :http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/06/25/483108905/personality-tests-are-popular-but-do-they-capture-the-real-you
The writeup you refer to is common sense.
Any personality test will be merely a model of any given person, and as such it will always be reductionistic.
Being conscious of the limitiations, I still think personality tests can have their uses, and help us understand certain aspects about ourselves.
Seems like an amazing course
I will take it as soon as I get a free time.
informative post
Dating wasn’t something I had time over the last ten years. I was preoccupied with work and career; I worked weird hours and never had much time to think about my need for a real connection. As the time went by, my social circle started shrinking more and more; my dating life was in an even worse shape. During the following years, my few remaining friends have set me up with their acquaintances or relatives… but results were pretty bad, to put it mildly. None of those people appealed to me. I always thought meeting someone over the internet or via a phone was too impersonal, so online dating wasn’t something I have ever considered. However, one day, I had had enough.
I googled some dating services and checked out a few dating sites. There was one interesting – houston.partyline.com the phone chat. The results were incredible. I expected to barely meet anyone, but I was getting to know people left and right. I was incredibly excited. I had almost forgotten the thrill of getting the butterflies when first meeting someone.
I thought there’s no hope for people like us. :)
Another important consideration is whether you will monetize your online relationship counseling business or not, and how. I suppose you’d like for this venture to at least earn money for you to help pay for your web hosting and other fees. Some of the other sites I see earn money through.
I have never heard about such course! It should be attractive :)