Are you really doing your job?

Father’s Day is a big deal in our house because we have two dads. We have the boys’ biological dad – my Ex – and we have the Farmer. On Sundays, including Father’s Day, we all spend the day together, on the farm, in mostly harmony.

It is not perfect. A few weeks ago, my Ex left early because I’m so annoying to him. And just this morning, the Farmer and I had a fight that scared the kids so much they cried. But I think we are doing okay. And on Father’s Day I feel particularly grateful for both men, because they work really hard to make sure the kids feel like they have an integrated, stable family.

The New York Times says that women go into politics to change something, and men go into politics to be someone. I think this is true for all work, not just politics. I think women are more likely to feel important because they are home with kids, which is why more women than men leave the workforce to be with kids.

Men are changing how they parent, but not too much, because there’s still this survey from ERE that shows men prefer work to being home with kids. I do not believe we can change things completely. We are who we are. Men and women are different. The more I write about these differences in the workplace, the more I appreciate the differences at home.

We all know that if a mom is at the playground with three kids, no one notices, but if a dad is there, people say, “He’s such a great dad.”

I know that Father’s Day is traditionally the day to say how great dads are blah blah. But I have a feeling that the biggest compliment we can say to a dad is that he’s showing up. He’s there, reliably, doing his job, and it’s no big deal. Because dads are expected to do their job.

So today my Ex played with the kids while I surfed the web, and I saw that the Farmer posted to his blog about Father’s Day. And he quoted my son’s blog, about the farm. And now I’m going to quote both those posts. And if you are thinking that you are blogging because you are going to earn money from it, think again. Blogging is about ideas, self-discovery, and growth. And anyone who lives a life about ideas and self-discovery will be worth more in the workplace, no matter who else is reading your blog.

So, here’s the Farmer’s post from his blog, that quotes my son’s post from my son’s blog:

Happy Father’s Day!

This is my second Father's Day, but the first where I feel I've really put in the work. Parenting has more challenges than rewards, but I'm thankful to have the opportunity.

Shepherd is a budding writer, and updates a blog for family and friends. I thought I would share the following entry from his blog. It made my day.

Last year I raised baby tadpoles and set them free as frogs. And this year I'm going to do it again. A few days ago, I went down to my grandparents pond with my dad and we caught one very interested toad, but we let it go because the tadpoles are what we want to raise and we will just let frogs and toads be loose. That's the main thing in project.

It's fun to catch the tadpoles in the pond. Me and my dad also caught a leopard frog. It's a not a frog-sized leopard! It's basically a leopard-quick frog that's yellow with black dots, but not poisonous.

Two big achievements that me and my dad made were:

1. Catching a bullfrog tadpole with legs. The back row of legs, that is.

2. Another thing we did was we found the tadpole nest. But we didn't take anything from it because it would disturb the nest. That's where we found a leopard frog, but we didn't catch it. We found the leopard we caught on our way back to the truck. The reason we didn't keep the frogs and toads we caught was because they would probably eat the small tadpoles.

I had a great time.