Test: Is your life happy or interesting?
The culmination of my four-year obsession with happiness research is that I think people need to choose between an interesting life or happy life. (Note: This does not mean you are interesting or not interesting. I am talking about what values guide your decision making.) I think the things that make life happy have to do with complacency, and the things that make life interesting have to do with lack of complacency. If you want to read more about this, search on my sidebar “happiness” and “interesting” and you’ll get a bazillion posts because I’ve been obsessed with the topic.
I have discovered that I would rather be interesting than happy. The good news is that even though I'm punting on the quest for happiness, I do have a good sense of how to know if you should be seeking happiness yourself, or if your quest for interesting makes happiness a lost cause.
Here's the test:
1. Did you relocate away from family for a better job or another more interesting experience? Minus one
You would have to earn $150,000 more from a job if you were doing it far away from family, according to economist Nattavudh Powdthavee of University of York.
2. Did you relocate to be near family? Plus one
Happiness does not come from a job, or from being revered by your peers. It comes from personal relationships.
3. Are you nationally recognized as being great at doing something or do you have nationally-recognized expert knowledge in something? Or are you reorganizing your life in order to achieve this end? Minus one
Interesting people raise the bar on themselves. They are singularly focused because they recognize that in order to be great, you need to be focused. They will sacrifice other things in life for this obsession.
4. Were you a happy child? Plus one
Sixty percent of our ability to be happy is predetermined by our genes.
5. Do your friends pray? Plus one
People who pray are happier than people who do not pray, probably because having faith is fundamentally optimistic. (You can be any religion, and pray for anything.) Happiness is contagious, and we are more likely to be happy if our friends are happy.
6. Do you need your kids to go to a school that is recognized as excellent in national rankings? Minus one.
People who need the best of everything — maximizers — are not happy people.
7. Do you have fat friends? Plus one
Fat people are not generally maximizers. And if your friends are not maximizers than you probably aren't either.
8. Do you have an opinion on Picasso? Minus one
People who focus on interesting are quicker to form opinions on subjective topics.
9. Do you have three friends who are a Jew, a Muslim and a born-again Christian? Minus one
Diversity is interesting, but in small groups (like friends) it does not make for happiness, according to Frans Johansson, author of The Medici Effect.
10. Are you a Republican? Plus one
Republicans are happier than democrats. This dichotomy is based a lot on personality. Republicans tend to have personality traits that are uncomfortable with change, whereas people who lean democrat tend to have personality traits of change agents, according to personality research from Xyte.
11. Do you think Christmas is a national holiday? Plus one
Christmas is not a national holiday, because the US is not a Christian country. But regardless of what’s true, homogenous thinking breeds happiness. It's why countries like Sweden and Finland are so happy. They are homogenous.
12. Have you been to a therapist? Minus one
Peopel who are interesting but not happy have a point where they need to make sure they are okay. Also, they are interested in finding out about themselves even if they are fine. The ratio of therapists to citizens is lowest in populations that skew to maximizers (like New York City and San Francisco).
13. Do you know the difference between $70 eyebrows and $20 eyebrows? Minus one
It doesn’t matter if you spend that much for eyebrows. But if you know why people who must have good eyebrows cannot take chances, and why most people have terrible eyebrows, then you took the time to find out enough about eyebrows to know what is best and how yours could be better.
14. Can you tell the difference between real diamonds and fake diamonds. Plus one
Trick question. A maximizer will have tried to learn to figure it out and will have learned that even experts can't without a special tool.
15. Have you tried on a pair of $200 jeans? Minus one
If you are not interested in seeing what they look like on you, you probably just want to be happy with how you are. People who are interested in new experiences are less likely to be happy, according to Psychology Today.
16. Do you think this test is BS? Plus one
People with interesting lives do not get offended that they cannot be happy. Happy people are offended that they cannot have interesting lives.
Scoring:
-8 to -3 You have a desire for interestingness over happiness
3 to 8 You have a desire for happiness over interestingness.
-2 to 2 You are suspiciously well balanced. Or lacking a self-identity. I’m not sure which.
I disgree with your criteria, but it’s interesting to see where you put the dividing lines. I guess what’s “interesting” to me is different from yours.
For me, the “interesting” criteria would be:
1. Do you learn, make, or do something new every day?
2. Do you have close friends who are adamant stay-at-home moms, work-out-of-home moms, and singles/no children?
and so on..
Also, your point on Christmas assumes the test-taker is a Christian of some sort, I think. The rest of us already know it’s not a national holiday, just a pain in the cultural ass.
+2 I’m not sure if this is good or not. But, I will say I am a happy person. I love my husband, I have amazing parents, I am blessed with a number of true friends, and I enjoy the work I do. I could take or leave my siblings, but I don’t see them enough to really care. Oh, I’ll be happier when this damn winter ends. :)
In a single glance, one can see it’s ludicrous to say being interesting and happy are mutually exclusive.
I can hardly count all the interesting, happy people I know. Does the author herself not feel she’s both?
Further, statements like, “Republicans tend to have personality traits that are uncomfortable with change,” are always devoid of meaning. How can one make such statements, which aren’t provable or fact-based in the least?
Verrry thought-provoking. This post has great content. I think I found a new blog fave. I’m bookmarking you Trunk.
–Terrace Crawford
http://www.terracecrawford.com
http://www.twitter.com/terracecrawford
Inquiring minds want to know: Did you gain or lose a point for 1) Making a mistake in the scoring; 2) Discovering the mistake; and 3) Correcting the mistake.
“Interesting” is subjective. Competitive people tend to be insecure and unhappy at the core. They might consider some of their actions “interesting”, but the underlying motivation is competition. It’s an endless quest to be liked, to be the best, etc. It’s a contrived way of living, and it’s no wonder these people aren’t happy.
Another take on “interesting” is highly correlated with happiness. It’s living a stimulating, relational & purposeful life, guided by one’s deepest self. Living in a conscious way, e.g. spending time on what matters to you vs. tuning out/shutting down, taking risks, choosing adventures, approaching life with an open mind and heart, …these all contribute to being both interesting and happy.
You’re an idiot. How can one fully dedicate them to being the best at something if he is unwilling to relocate himself to take advantage of the best opportunities? Also, according to your logic, neo nazis are happier than non-racists? Your criteria seem extremely obscure.
Happiness is subjective. If you want to be happy, accept yourself and stop trying so hard. Duh. And studies show you should also have some sex. http://www.nber.org/papers/w10499
The posts you have made on this topic speak very deeply to me.
I wonder, however, if it might be clearer if you made the wording the choice between “happy” and “interestED.” People are not necessarily interesting–they might, however, be interestED in lots of things.
I know you made the distinction at the beginning between personal choice and personality, but it seems a little unclear to me the way it’s currently phrased.
I got “-1” i think im more interesting than happy most of the time. Or perhaps i am lacking some self identity :D Interesting topic to really think about
Christmas isn’t a national holiday because the US doesn’t have national holidays. The constitution only permits Congress to designate “Federal Holidays”, of which Christmas is one.
Sweden is NOT homogenous. While Finland accepts almost no immigrants Sweden has for a looong time and has a huge muslim population. Just one suburb of Stockholm, Södertälje, has received more Iraqi refugees than the US and Canada together. Sweden also has minorities from most other parts of the planet as they have some of the most liberal refugee laws in the world. Although I am certainly not a fan of the polemic bullshit propaganda of Fox News, they were not entirely wrong when they referred to Sweden as “Eurabia”, showing how far the country is from your description. Am sort of disappointed to see the incredibly tired stereotype of the homogenous, blonde, rich Swedish enforced on your otherwise so well-researched and inspiring blog.
Dumbest post ever.
People are happy when they pursue things that are interesting to them. It’s not that deep.
Will be checking this blog less often…
Pen, are we supposed to subtract or add the point for opposite answers? Cause I ended up at 1.5. The .5 is because I pray, but not so sure ’bout most of my friends, in fact, I’d lean the other way on them.
So I guess I can cop to the whole point.
Still, I’ve got more identity than a 2, don’t you think?
This is horse crap. One does not have to make a choice between interesting and happy. Sounds like a cop out for people who are self-centered and miserable all the time who can now announce to the world “I choose to be interesting rather than happy”.
To anyone who believes they cannot have a happy and interesting life…. I am sorry you feel that way. But please quit trying to make yourself seem so damn cool cuz you are so much more interesting than me. You know what… if you find yourself interesting you are most likely a big bore who people can’t stand but peek in on you from time to time to see the rubble.
Have A Great Day (I am happy. Intersting? who knows… and you know what, who cares!)
I like my life regardless of whether I am happy or not! I think happiness is highly overrated. No one is happy all the time. Being at peace with oneself is all that matters. (Assuming one is healthy! I am a health and wellness nut.)
*Yawn.* I don’t really think this ‘interesting versus happy’ dichotomy means anything.
I’m actually happiest when I’m being challenged (that is, mentally and creatively stimulated–not being put under distress). I don’t know if this makes me interesting to others–but it makes me interesting to myself, and I value my own opinion more than other people’s. So where does that put me in terms of this model?
I scored a zero on the quiz, by the way.
I’ve been thinking deeply about happiness ever since reading Eric Weiner’s “The Geography of Bliss”. He talked about happiness being relational, and so I wrote an article about that in my “Relationship” blog. (Link below)
In the end I tend to think Happiness and Interest go together, its about experiences which create depth and connection to others.
http://gettingtheloveyouwant.com/blog/relationshipadvice/relationship-help-is-the/
I think the “fat friends” question is just plain wrong. People who leads interesting lives tends to have less control over their body weight because they are more prone to stress and have less time to eat right and go to the gym. As you noted on the previous post, you just end up eating more pie. What happens is that the “I” people are very motivated to be thin, and nowadays you can achieve that through all sorts of unhealthy shortcuts: crazy diets, surgery or suspicious pills. On the other hand, for happy and stable people is easier to stick to a diet and go to the gym. And they probably are content with healthy, they wouldn’t strive for magazine driven anorexia. I say this from my own experience: my entrepreneur husband is always struggling with his weight and occasionaly choosing unhealthy shortcuts. Same for his “I” friends. My civil servants friends and myself can usually stay pretty slim with the ordinary prescription of diet/exercise.
I’m obviously happy because I found the test biased and silly and gave it up midway! And feel great about doing so!
I’ve been reading your many posts about happiness through the years, and I feel a little sad that this is all the conclusion you end up with. While this might be true on some levels, I personally think that there’s more to the concept of happiness than meets the eye. This conclusion is hasty despite the years of research behind it. I happen to know a lot of complacent people who are unhappy, and more “maximizers” who are happily doing interesting things to go after their ambitions in life. Happiness does not mean the same to all people, and to find the common truth in the midst of these differences is quite interesting. I was hoping you’d find it. Guess not.
I still love you though :)
Pen,
Where do you come up with this stuff? I guess I’m unhappy but interestingly happy. WTH?
I disagree with #7. What’s with the fatphobia? I’m amazed nobody else has called you on this.
I take back the last bit. I see somebody else did remark on this.
Ev, I would appreciate you referencing the resources you spoke about. Please forward any written documentation, books or a website about the subject. Also, located 15 to 20 minutes from the Philadelphia area. Thank you for sharing the knowledge!! Lori
I consider myself a somewhat balanced person, most of my life is a regimen. I eat, sleep, work, walk my dogs. Most people might consider this mundane or boring. Outside of that I travel, read and write. Having just gone through a break-up I am in a rejuvenating period of my life. I find things that ‘wake me up.” I travel, read , write, and have had a knack for always falling in love with the cute guys, the fun ones, and so I have learned from some of my mistakes. So outside of my regimen I travel to warm sunny places mostly. I am going to Cabo in April, Cancun in November and a Caribbean cruise with my mother next May. I have not figured out how to be whole and rounded and balanced and write, and maintain a relationship. But regarding your insight on happiness I think complacency may bring spurts of happiness. I do find much joy in just being me and sometimes that gets tough when work demands more of my time. So just “being,” is where most people do find their joy. I think a lot of us are just too busy to slow down and realize what that joy is. I can look back at times in my life when I didn’t think I was happy, but as I look back it is meaningful to me now, because life is so hard at times, I can look back in retrospect and really appreciate what my joys were in those times NOW. But I also find much joy in new experiences, I used to cry coming home from my excursions because I had so much fun, now I just get back home and plan my next one. When I get home I am so happy to be home, but so rejuvenated from the break. I think new experiences keep us young and fresh and new and there is happiness in that too.
This is horse crap. One does not have to make a choice between interesting and happy. Sounds like a cop out for people who are self-centered and miserable all the time who can now announce to the world “I choose to be interesting rather than happy”.
“…Happiness does not come from a job, or from being revered by your peers. It comes from personal relationships…”- happiness can to come from a job or from relationships. Absolute happiness is when a person happy in the family, at work and with friends.
I am at all not understand the term “be interesting” and still be wondering why it means to be unhappy?
I was sure that Christmas is a statutory holiday. What does “national holiday” mean anyway? A holiday is either mandated by law (statutory) or it’s not.
Oh…I am so in the negatives but this is so accurate. I wonder how this scales next to the Myers Briggs???
Nice blog. Like me, I rather choose interesting life rather than having a happy life. If you first discover your interest in life the happy moment will just follow. But if you start having a happy life, there is no more interesting things that will happen.
Haha. I love this!
If only you gave relationship advice, that would be amazing. I’m 21 and already bored with worrying about my career. Although your advice has put me on a much better track than I would have been without it. Well, I hope you consider the relationship thing anyway.
It’s fun to laugh at all the mad happy people. Horsecrap! Haha.
I think this article must be right somewhere. It feels good anyway.
I need stimulation. Being on the bus is boring. Being in the shower drives me crazy because its so boring. Brushing teeth … also boring.
If I spend years with friends, we will develop a deeper more personal relationship. And its those kind of relationships which make me happiest. But also they are kind of boring. Any person you know that well… well don’t they become boring? You’ve already had all those conversations. And I guess this means that people at the extreme might get bored of their spouse.
I guess its about balance.
Eric, you’re so right. Some of us just can’t take boredom. Even if it’s brushing our teeth and taking showers. I have to listen to music and switch up the body wash and toothpaste flavors.
But the bus can be interesting. Yours isn’t?
I’m at the extreme because I am bored in my relationship. But what is the balance? Do we settle for boredom? Or maybe the one we’re meant to be with will never be boring. Even if they tell the same jokes all the time, I hope there would just be that something about them. But I really don’t know, I just wonder.
Great test. I found I had different answers depending on my stage of life. I was absolutely relentlessly in the “interesting” side pre-kids. Now my answers are more on the “happiness” side of things. But I was happier when I was interesting. (There’s a maximizer for you.)
Now, I am also realist enough that even my yearbook quote was “And was the day of my delight/As pure and perfect as I say?” so I don’t want to pretend my life was ideal then. And I don’t regret the choices I made. But in my heart of hearts, or soul of souls, I am a maximizer who tends to like things interesting. I can live the content life for now for my kids because for who they are, it is what they need. But I am eager already, or still, to get back to the interesting life rather than the contented one.
Hehe,I liked this post.As we say..we only live once and being happy with our life is essential.We should never settle for less.
Yes this is true that living happy and living intrested in your life are two different thing, but the problem is that most people are still unhappy as they have alot of bank balance and property nd bla bla bla, the real thing is that are you satisfied or not…
I must admit I am a more glass half empty type, but I like to see what makes other people happy and in return this then make me happier.
I think that the ultimate goal for most people is to be happy, however not everyone knows that this is their goal. At the end of the day we all want certain things because we believe that they will make us…yes you’ve guessed…”happy”.
True happiness is not reachable through ownership of anything material, at most, material posessions are distractions from what is really going on inside of us, and real happiness can only be achieved through knowing that you are the best person that you can be.
Scored -4.
Looks like I’m leaning away from being happy. Time to reflect…
Happiness to me is a state of being rather than a state of having. A person can be happy no matter where they are or what they do as long as there spiritual life is in order.
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
Hiay
What an interesting article, I though I was pretty sad to sit here and take the test. However it turns out I am very happy, which is true. So I guess in my case the test works.
Malc
+6. I disagree with some of their findings, like, friends who pray? Makes you happier? Gimme a break. I have friends who do and dont pray and must admit that I get the same amount of joy out of both of them. Anyway, love your blog, keep it coming.
5 as well. I think we can be personally in control of how we decided to accept and understand things that happen in our lives…
Good post. I kind of go with the theory of “you can have everything in life you want if you help enough other people get what they want”. I like to think I have a happy and interesting life, maybe am just an optimist:)
Its a fine balcne I think.. Being happy is about being true to yourself and your surroundings.. The being fat part I dont understand the logic, but hey.. who cares anyway.. Im happy, fat and proud!
I think you can be interesting and happy. Well, maybe not everyone but some people…. Personally if I don’t get outside my comfort zone and do intersting stuff I nearly die of boredom.
What really amazes me is people who should be interesting because they’ve done this,that and the other but actually bore the socks off you.
You certainly don’t seem to fall into that category:)
Thank you for the article.
I’ll try to adopt it.
Wow, pretty neat test. I scored a +2. Seemed pretty accurate to me. Thanks posting this article
I have seen a lot of unhappy people in my life, they all strive for the elusive elixer of life.
I often give out this simple piece of advice:-
“You only have 60 years of usefull time on earth,
From 1-20 years you are learning.
20-80 living, so get on with it, time is running.
You will be surprised how many people it gets throgh to.
I am enjoyed taking this test and I like to think of myself as a interesting person. I am happy sometimes, but I never sad. For me happiness are those people, things, and places that bring your happiness and joy.