How much money do you need to be happy? Hint: Your sex life matters more
How much money buys happiness? A wide body of research suggests the number is approximately forty thousand dollars a year. I interviewed Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University, and he says once you have enough money to meet basic needs — food, shelter, but not necessarily cable “?incremental increases have little effect on your happiness.
Aaron Karo, comedian and author of the forthcoming book, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, responds to the number with, “If you want to draw a line in the sand, happiness is having enough money so you don’t have to move back in with your parents.”
To someone who just spent four years in college living off nine-thousand-dollar loan stipends, an increase to forty thousand means a lot — moving from poverty to middle class. But it’s a one-time rush. After you hit the forty-thousand-dollar-range money never gives you that surge in happiness again.
Twentysomethings who are looking for happiness from their careers will benefit from research about their parents’ choices. Richard Easterlin, professor of economics at University of Southern California says previous generations have proven that our desires adjust to our income. “At all levels of income, the typical response is that one needs 20% more to be happy.” Once you have basic needs met, the axiom is true: more money does not make more happiness.
So then one asks, what does matter? The big factors in determining happiness levels are satisfaction with your job and social relationships. And in case you found yourself slipping back to thoughts of salary, according to Easterlin, “How much pleasure people get from their job is independent of how much it pays.”
Unfortunately, people are not good at picking a job that will make them happy. Gilbert found that people are ill equipped to imagine what their life would be like in a given job, and the advice they get from other people is bad, (typified by some version of “You should do what I did.”)
Gilbert recommends going into a career where people are happy. But don’t ask them if their career makes them happy, because most people will say yes; they have a vested interest in convincing themselves they are happy. Instead, try out a few different professions before you settle on one. For college students, Gilbert envisions this happening with part-time jobs and internships at the cost of “giving up a few keggers and a trip to Florida over spring break.” But even if you wait until you enter the workforce, it makes sense to switch from one entry-level job to another; no seniority and scant experience means you have little to lose. So it’s an ideal time to figure out what will make you happy: Use a series of jobs to observe different professions at close range to see if YOU think they make people happy.
It’s simple, proven advice, but few people take it because they think they are unique and their experience in a career will be different. Get over that. You are not unique, you are basically just like everyone else. Gilbert can, in the course of five minutes, rattle off ten reasons why people think they are unique but they are not. For example: We spend our lives finding differences between people to choose teachers, band mates and spouses, so our perception of peoples’ differences is exaggerated… And then Gilbert gets to grapes: “If you spend seven years studying the differences between grapes, no two will look the same to you, but really a grape is a grape.”
So your first step is to stop thinking you’re a special case. Take Gilbert’s advice and choose a career based on your assessment of other people in that career. You next step is to focus on social relationships, because in terms of happiness, job satisfaction is very important but social relationships are most important.
And by social relations, most researchers mean sex — with one, consistent partner. So consider giving your career aspirations a little less weight than you give your aspirations for sex. For those of you who like a tangible goal, David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College says, “Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness. And then the diminishing returns begin to set in.” He adds, to the joy of all who are underemployed, “It’s true that money impacts which person you marry, but money doesn’t impact the amount of sex you have.”
Maybe all this research simply justifies the twentysomething tendency to hold a series of entry-level jobs and put off having children. Says Karo: “All we really want is to get paid and get laid.”
Money, is one important things to our life, cause money can buy anythings that you like and money can make many friends..!
Balance as everything in life is the key, too much work for money & status will end you up in the divorce courts as much as non payment of the mortgage will get you kicked out and a wife on your back for being a non achiever! However looking at those that APPEAR to be high acheivers the film stars and high flyers, they seem to be the ones desperate to settle down remarry time and tiem again, where maybe a little less time achieving and more sustaining would have gained them mush more than the next porche!
we need money i want to read but i have no momey plz help me thanks sir
im been lookin for help sinc why b4 i meet u online /my comment my father/mother where dead when i was in kid sinc then im strougling to send my shelf to school ,i sporsor my shelf to primary school that is where i started looking for helper to give money throug money tranfer to go back to school and start a little petty bisness to feed my shelf,once againg u do it for me iwill happy thank u
i throngly cant on you send me back to school with sum of 2000thousand dollers
sundy adebayo
First of all, I would like to say that I am not judging you, because money is important in order to have the things that we need and want in life.
I have continually struggled with the issue of money in all of my relationships. Consider yourself fortunate if you have a millionaire that wishes to marry you, because some view women as disposable play things.
I would have you think about your assumption that you will not have to worry about money for the rest of your life – if you marry the millionaire. How do you know a pre-nuptual agreement wouldn't be a condition of the marriage; has this been discussed? If for some reason you are unhappy in the marriage, it may make it very difficult to leave if you will have to severely downsize your lifestyle in order to do so. I think that your intuition has already let you know that the millionaire won't have the ability to provide you with the time and attention that you want.
Just some food for thought
“Your sex life matters more.” That’s obviously written by an overpaid loser.
Money can buy you pretty much anything, including a senator or a sex life. What it can’t buy you is a love life; but it opens a lot more doors than “not money” ever will.
I will agree with the person that posted about living in big cities. I am a young professional living in Honolulu on 32K a year and I am still doing perfectly fine. Rent is super high but I am happy to be living in paradise. The key is not spending money on the non-essential things. Oatmeal and turkey sandwiches…mmm
Cant blame them
Without money we could not live
Mabey 100 years ago
but not now
I need money thats what the world has decided for me
i think that anyone who actually believes that there is a specific number that represents happiness is an idiot. ESPECIALLY those that helped in the “wide body of research” that came up with happiness is $40,000 a year. selfish, ignorant, materialistic, petty people!! yes, people need money. you need money for food, money for shelter, etc. but assess your actual needs as compared to the wants that media sells to you. FOOD. AIR. WATER. those are all you truly *need* to survive. take, for instance, anywhere but internet-derived america- there are thousands of people living without clothes and shelter. it might not be the epitome of comfortable living, but it is survival. humans, especially americans, have forgotten what it means to actually need. if you have a computer, then you should never complain about not having all that you need. think outside of yourselves. “in the event that mankind figures out what it is this world revolves around, thousands will be shocked and perplexed to realize it was not them…” i am not against the rich or the famous. i’m against the american mindset that they are any better or deserve any more than anyone else. YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. i’ll be the first to tell you that i’m selfish and cruel and hateful and foolish and prideful. but at least i realize that. untill people realize that they are nothing in the entire scheme of things, the world will only get worse. DO NOT complain that you are unhappy if you are trying to earn it with possessions. anyone who slaves to get something that is temporary, hoping that it will feed the eternal, will never find true happiness. think about it.
I don’t think that the article is implying that to be happy you need to make 40,000 a year. What the article was trying to say is to be happy you don’t need to be rich. You just have to be able to support yourself and pay the bills.
Interesting article. Lets face it money is the key element to happiness and suriving in the world. One might not have money at all but if granted some it will bring a smile to their face. On the other hand sex pleasures a person which raises their emotional level. There isnt a price to happiness it is more of what you do or want more of to keep that happiness.
I definitely agree with the concept that money cannot buy happiness, and it may be true that 40k is truly what one needs financially to remain content in their lives. Our intimate relationships I feel play a bigger role in the long haul just as Penelope addressed, because once that interaction is gone, no material thing or 10k bonus is going to fill that void.
Believe me, when you can’t pay your bills, you’re not having great sex. Not for long, anyway.
As adults, we need — first — to address our responsibilities. Then we might have time to be happy. It’s in addressing those responsibilities (and knowing, either explicitly or intuitively, that taxes take up more than half our productivity), that we sometimes get lost.
As for addressing our responsibilities, the lower we set our necessary expenses in relation to our earnings (the other half of our earnings go to food, shelter, clothing, savings, and “toys”), the less stress we’ll have. As they’ve said for centuries, robbing Peter to pay Paul only makes Peter mad — and you can’t be too happy when you’re dealing with a sore Peter.
What I don’t understand is WHY money doesn’t make people happier. I mean, living without worries should make one happy, right? I feel that the more money I have, the safer I will feel rather than living paycheck to paycheck which I believe would make me rather unhappy and stressed all the time. I don’t think we should look at money as the opportunity to buy more material things but as the reliever that will keep us worry free from debt, starvation and all the necessities in life.
I don’t think that the person who barely gets by on pure essentials is as happy as the person who has 50k sitting in the bank for emergencies. I believe the person with more money will feel a different sense of happiness knowing that he will never have to worry about going hungry or paying his mortgage each month.
Jeez, I think a lot of people are missing the bigger picture.
The point isn’t that you *must* make $40,000/yr and you *must* have sex once a week to be happy. Those figures are likely just statistical averages from across the entire nation. Obviously, living in NYC is going to cost a lot more than $40,000/yr, while at the same time living in Bumfug West (by God) Virginny is going to cost a lot less than $40,000/yr. Some people will be happier with sex more than once a week, and some will be happier with less.
The underlying point of the post and its conclusions is a lot more nebulous than that, and that’s probably what is so off-putting to so many. Our culture is largely geared to formulaic, simple solutions to complex issues that ideas like this are a complete mystery to some. This is probably because we’re so used to hearing the Old Formula for Success and Happiness: get good grades in school, go to a prestigious university, get good grades there, get a good job with a corporation, get married, squirt out a few kids, make as much money as you can, happiness will follow. Yeah, right.
Here’s what the post is trying to tell you:
You need to make enough money to meet the basic needs of you and your family, maybe with a little left over to play with. Anything beyond that is gravy, *but* if you have the wrong expectations with what any additional money will do for you and your happiness, then it will not necessarily make you happy and may in fact make you unhappy once you realize it’s not a panacea.
You need to develop your personal relationships to the point where you end up developing a special relationship with an appropriate partner. You need to invest enough in that relationship that it becomes meaningful to both of you, and if you have sex on a regular basis with that person (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, whatever) then you’ll both be a lot happier.
This is simple stuff; it all goes back to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Don’t be silly and try to boil this down to “make $40,000 a year and have sex once a week and you’re set!”
Very interesting blog. "If you spend seven years studying the differences between grapes, no two will look the same to you, but really a grape is a grape." Loved that part because everyone nowadays think that they are different from the pack. Like that song, people are people. wouldn’t you agree?
I dont feel that it is impossible for asexuals to be happy. I feel that some may not be happy because they feel different from others. i believe that once they are comfprtable with who they are they can be happy with it.
Your sex life is a direct function of the amount of money you make, especially as you get older. Old people still want to screw young people; that is Mother Nature. Since young people prefer to bed young people, and may in fact be disgusted by older, fatter, hairier, or generally uglier people, money helps to cushion the deal. In general, the amount of money needed to screw a younger person is in proportion to the difference of age, beauty, and general health between the two people.
Of course my point is that in order to be happy, your sex life is important, but then in turn, so is money. Don’t neglect this important reality.
* * * * * *
What other blogger would respond to a comment like this? But here goes…
The research on this topic is clear that the quality of sex you have — like, multiple orgasms or whatever — is not the issue with happiness. The happiness factor is a result of you making a point to create a life where you are in a meaningful, intimate,stable relationship. Weekly sex is a natural offshoot of this and an easy way to measure.
So, you might prefer young people, but it will not make you significanly happier to have sex with a young person. After all, whether the person is young or old does not change anything about your life. You still had sex. You still are who you are.
In fact, now that I think about it, older people chasing younger people is sometimes so fruitless or vapid or both that maybe you could say older people who look for partners their own age are happier. Just my own cojecture here…
Penelope
I’m rich, oh and I’m happy. Ha
We can pick our own careers by thinking about what makes us (not others) happy. But the key is to be HONEST with ourselves about what we really enjoy (not what we would enjoy telling people our career is at our 10, 20 year reunions, etc.).
For me, the Myers Briggs personality test results are HIGHLY illuminating. But you need to be HONEST with yourself when you take the test too! This is your one and only life!
Lots of people posting in comments, and even the original blog entry seem to have create an artifical correlation between making money and being unhappy.
I dabbled in a few career paths before choosing my current persuasion. I earn 96,000 per year, like my job, and like my money. I live in suburban Ohio, average income is somewhere around 35-40k. I like my job more at 96k than 40k – I’m saving for retirement, paying off my house, and not making decisions based upon money. I can help my friends when I need to.
I feel like some people on here chose career’s exclusively on salary, without considering some of the things the author brings up.
I don’t think anyone would feel any more dis-satisfaction with their job if their boss doubled their salary. Money is not the problem here, your career choices are.
I’m 18. I have thought long, hard, and repeatedly about what I want from life. What I have concluded is that these are the best posts I have ever read on the internet. All I want to say is that each person has their own needs, and these needs are shaped by our environment, mentality, and just about an endless list of personal factors. If one wants to put an average monetary amount on the happiness factor, let them, I don't care; I just will just make myself happy, make … yo, I fell for this girl, I have nothing else to say. . . can't think straight. Haha :)
My relationship to God. Family, Social Relationships and Having a career that allows you the automany and freedom to earn an adequate income to be financially independent and secure to me is what life is all about. I made 200,000 dollars in the early stages of my investment advisory and banking roles. The Back biting over deals or rank and file for corporate mobility is insane. You really find out the true character of people. Some people will cut thier own mother’s throat lose friends and close relative over a dollar. To me that has gone too far. They value material things that cost money over non-material things that are free, Your ambition, your love and respect for others, freedom from some one else controlling and micro managing your life. That is free!!!!! I will take that any day. I moved from the Midwest to a Warm climate in the south with Palm trees fun in the sun freedom and with my children and my wife (almost divorced)!But i didnt!!!! We are so much happier I pinch my self because sometimes we think we are in a dream. GOD, Family, Social Relationships and having the financial freedom to enjoy life in my opinion is what life is all about. Pursue your purpose money is apart of that NOT THE CENTER!!
Well, Lewis, when you have plenty of money it kinda changes your perspective. You can’t enjoy the “free” things in life unless you have enough money to pay your taxes (#1 expense for Americans, greater than food, shelter, clothing and everything else combined) and feed yourself.
Then you can have the luxury of your palm trees and your dreams.
I’m happy for you, but when you start out having enough money to keep the government and parasitic socialist voters off your back, you lose the perspective of those of us who are struggling to support all the leeches that get our money before we do, and have a greater claim on it than we do. (We don’t get it in the first place, since so much is withheld; and we can’t keep it through strength of arms, but government can take it that way, throwing us into the street or prison for non-payment of taxes on the house we “own.” It doesn’t matter that we earn it — it’s not ours. Ever. You gotta pay the State so it will let you keep all the things you’ve already earned and paid for.)
Enjoy your paradise, but don’t tell us what’s more important than money. In this country, nothing is: the government won’t settle for your prayers. You’ve gotta give them money, or you’re off to prison. Of course, if you’re happy in prison (with or without walls) and you don’t mind systematic robbery, then I guess it’s possible. But I’d suspect a mental illness, first.
Lewis: Someone who has already made 200,000 dollars can talk about giving it up for something else. But you cannot give up something you do not have, so only the rich can give such advise. Even I would have retired and done something different if I had 200,000 dollars. Thats plenty of money in the country I live in.
More evidence that more wealth need not always be bad:
According to the Pew Research folks, “there’s a 72% correlation between per capita GDP growth in a country and its citizens’ happiness.”
Another extensive survey conducted in 2007 by the Pew Research Center found that 65% of Americans termed themselves “satisfied” with their lives. That compares with the four economic powerhouses of Britain, France, Germany and Italy, which averaged about 53%. Virtually every nation in Europe lagged the U.S. in income. Indeed, if it were a state, the EU would rank 47th in per capita GDP
I agree with anirban. Also, if you don’t live somewhere in the inner America, $40k is still below middle class.
Income and spending are totally different. Some people can earn $100K and spend all of it and more using credit cards. Other people can earn $70K and barely make ends meet. Still others can earn $50K, while only spending $40K and saving the surplus. Just as there is a threshold that separates "enough to get by" and "not enough to survive," there is another line between "enough is Plenty" and having "too much" that it is extravagant and wasteful. It is hard to place numbers on those division lines. Especially with the varying costs of living across the country.
That is why the figure $40K is just a concept, and imaginary line. You must put the dollar amounts on each category yourself.
— Not Enough
— Enough to Get By
— Enough is Plenty
— Too Much
It is funny because all four items above should be close to the same dollar amount. You heard me. There is a magic number for you. Kind of like the Sleep Number bed, you have a magic Money Number. Find your magic money number that is enough to get by with a little extra that feels like plenty. Anything less is not enough and anything more is too much. This is where your individual mentality comes into play. Do you have the maximizing attitude of more is better? Or do you have the simple belief that deeper relationships make life better? The magic money number is essentially your personal standard of living. The number that feels like enough is plenty.
Like adding sugar to your coffee, there is a saturation point where the liquid can no longer dissolve the sugar and it sinks to the bottom. Finding your financial saturation point can give you a point of reference from which to base your salary requirements, city to live in, and spending habits.
We must focus on the difference between what is coming in and what is going out. It seems the current mentality is that if we earn X number of dollars, that we automatically can spend that amount. We can all agree that "the more you make, the more you spend." Plus, we always want to spend 20% more than whatever our current spending power is. Instead, we need to change our attitude. We need to control our spending and bring it down below our earnings, in order to build a savings nest egg. We need to spend 20% less of whatever our current earning power is.
Now that we have a magic money number for our standard of living, we can go from there and set up our earnings, bills, spending and savings accordingly. We can easily determine how much we really need to earn to support our "enough is plenty" lifestyle. We can begin to determine if we want to live in a more or less expensive city. We can begin to make wiser spending and saving choices. We can begin to live without constantly worrying about money and focus on building stronger, deeper, more rewarding relationships.
It would be nice if there was a magic formula for finding your magic number, but there is not. That is why some people try out a wide range of jobs, from $22K to $200K. They learn by trial and error which actions were rewarding and which sacrifices were not worth making. Personally, I have learned at least one lesson the hard way. For me, making $60K instead of $40K per year is not worth driving in rush hour traffic for up to 2 hours per day, five days a week.
However, we could take a short cut and go by locations. Pick a city and look up the median household income. Go to factfinder.census.gov .
For example, Dallas is $38K and San Francisco is $65K. Obviously, the suburb cities will have their own figures, which are usually higher. For example, we mentioned that Dallas was at $38K, but just to the north in Plano, it is $77K. Or use the national data. The U.S. median household income is $48,000 per year. That means, one-half of American households earns less than $48,000 and one-half earns more. A household may contain one person or many people, in which case all workers’ incomes are combined. Currently, the national average household size is 2.6 people.
So, if we use the number $48K, we can see that we need a job that pays $48K (if only one spouse works) to support the average American family living in a city where the median income is also $48K, such as Boston. We can simply divide up the income from there into spending and savings and live happily ever after.
I wish the goverment could take persons evry working wages and stick it all in one big pot and then hand it out to each amerian every month in the form of a check for aboyt $3,500 then everyone would live equaly and but only the people that acrualy work should get ir.
Probably would not work I did really think that one out very well
You need to realize that what you are talking about here has been tested… in countries where people are not free. If you were to pay a man who works hard to make his money the same as the man who works half heartedly, but still putting the same time in who remove the motivation to work hard. In turn everyone would become lazy dependents of the government. Eventually the productivity of the people as a whole would be so low that the government would be in trillions of dollars of debt and would turn to forgeign countries for aide…. holy crap… is this sort of thing happening today??? Of course its not the enitre country but it sure is heading in that direction. Try to keep working hard and being a contributing human. Don’t expect others to work hard for you.
ok ill answer the question of how much money will make me happy. I need atleast 10 million dollars for a nice private house on the beach, then ill need almost a million dollars for a nice car or 2. another million for extra cars to drive when i am bored of the ones i usually use, about 7 million dollars for things to fill my basic needs in my house (chairs and tables and microwaves and shit) then a good 20 million dollars for the stone lions i will have built in my front yard with other small ornimants. then another 2 mill for a nice pool and jacuzi in the back yard. then another 80 million dollars to live comfortably without working and being able to spend money on whatever I want.
I don’t believe that only money can bring happiness. Look a my blog.
Thats a rad post. I want to see more like this. You should do one on actually using your talents and finding a job and why people feel that they aren’t worth it to find a job that makes them happy. Why is that? I mean it’s our life right? What is a couple of years not getting paid a lot to get the job that will make you happy for 48 years? Maybe the evil one put something in the water or people are lazy..hmm…
What an interesting and thought provoking article!
I have had very different lifestyles over the last few years. I have gone from making only enough money to get by to making enough money to really enjoy myself. and i found that my happiness level did not change much. At the moment I am an inbetween point financially (I can spend money but do have to budget) and I find this to be a really good spot for me. I am not stressed about paying bills but do have to budget for things I want, which makes me appreciate them more.
My husband and me always talk about the future, how it is gonna be so great as soon as we have our own house, can travel as much as we want, etc. But now I am finally realizing that you should not always postpone your happiness to the future. We actually could afford more trips (it doesn’t have to be Australia or Dubai) ot little things that make you happy and helps to hold up your marriage, which also leads to happiness.
And honestly there is not much that I would change if I have more money…
This is a interesting topic. I had never thought any thing about how income related to sex. Even happiness there are studies about this.
well, different things make differnet people happy.
Regarding sex, it’s the intimacy that makes someone happy. Making love is a better term. With money, whatever ur income is, maybe because thats all what you need. Remember not all rich is happy =) simple things are the sweet ones after all =)
i just need the money and i dont care what it takes
Well it’s like I always knew, more sex equates to happier people. I have definitely found this to be true in my case. Thanks for the article.
I have a problem with how we’re looking at real-time happiness here as opposed to average happiness over a lifetime.
If you were to look at someone who makes 40k a year, meets basic necessities I can buy that they’re pretty happy day to day. But what if they have nothing left over to contribute to retirement?
Contrast that with someone who works crazy hours, has no sex life, is an absolute miserable wreck, makes a million bucks a year — BUT retires after several years, gets married, has two kids and lives off of his interest/dividend payments doing the thing that he/she is most passionate about.
Now add up the happiness level for each of these persons from the day they were born until the day the die and I think you’ll find that the second guy comes out further ahead.
As much as you want to spend.
It’s why America was invented.
you know i have been reading all of these comments and truly i think its funny as hell. im 19 years old and i have been born into low class. All my life and i did the dumbest thing by dropping out of high school. i finaly got a GED, so i might be starting college next fall. you know the most funny part of this whole entire post is that all you rich people are whining and crying over because your still not happy with the 40k. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. little kids are starving, not just other countries OUR COUNTRIES. about that jane girl that posted about having 2 boyfriends well i think YOUR low class. because in my life i had one girl friend and she broke my heart and it was REALLY ALL ABOUT MONEY. alls i have to say is ALL FEMALES WANT A GOOD RIDE. In our society YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE JUST LIVING OFF OF 12K A YEAR DO YOU PEOPLE. yet you SAY YOUR SO BETTER THAN EVERY BODY ELSE. WELL if i ever get that big dream of making it to 40k ILL BE THE MOST HAPPY AS I EVER BEEN.if you cant make it off 40k than you have problems if i was you seek help now. try living in 12k a year and come back and talk to me. until then to the people who THINK they are better than everybody….YOU MAKE ME SICK! thank you im out peace!!!
oh and about the post about not having the right thing to wear at different events. I HAVE 3 PAIRS OF PANTS AND 6 SHIRTS. GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!!
If these theories were at all valid, wouldn’t porn stars and prostitutes be the happiest people around? How about some families living in third world countries who have nothing other than what little food they can put in their mouth – but, they are happy with each other and close in relationships and families. Funny how many 40K families can barely tolerate each other once or twice a year. Interesting.
Oh yeah, and Penelope….mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Well i agree with pat, i am 24 and earning around 9k a year in a job where i help others worse of than me in,support worker.I also look after my uncle who is registard blind i help him with house maintenance,clean out his guide dogs toliet area and support him every day. I dont have much as long as i a have a roof over my head and food and water and being thankful to having all my capabilities and health and support from friends i get buy with on what i am earning. i know so many people on a higher wage than me and in so much debt and could nt care about others worse off than themselfs, i dnt know how they sleep at night, money is not everything be thankfull for your health and capabilities, live a life not greedy one.
If sex is so important to happiness…are you saying that people that choose to be abstinent until marriage are more unhappy than others? Then, after they are married, do they become more happy than someone who has been having sex or many years?