Bad career advice: Do what you love
One of the worst pieces of career advice that I bet each of you has not only gotten but given is to “do what you love.”
Forget that. It’s absurd. I have been writing since before I even knew how to write – when I was a preschooler I dictated my writing to my dad. And you might not be in preschool, but if you are in touch with who you are, you are doing what you love, no matter what, because you love it.
So it’s preposterous that we need to get paid to do what we love because we do that stuff anyway. So you will say, “But look. Now you are getting paid to do what you love. You are so lucky.” But it’s not true. We are each multifaceted, multilayered, complicated people, and if you are reading this blog, you probably devote a large part of your life to learning about yourself and you know it’s a process. None of us loves just one thing.
I am a writer, but I love sex more than I love writing. And I am not getting paid for sex. In fact, as you might imagine, my sex life is really tanking right now. But I don’t sit up at night thinking, should I do writing or sex? Because career decisions are not decisions about “what do I love most?” Career decisions are about what kind of life do I want to set up for myself?
So how could you possibly pick one thing you love to do? And what would be the point?
The world reveals to you all that you love by what you spend time on. Try stuff. If you like it, you’ll go back to it. I just tried Pilates last month. I didn’t want to try, but a friend said she loved the teacher, so I went. I loved it. I have taken it three times a week ever since. And it’s changed me. I stand up straighter. (I’d also have better sex, if I were having it. The Pilates world should advertise more that it improves your sex life: Totally untapped market.)
Often, the thing we should do for our career is something we would only do if we were getting a reward. If you tell yourself that your job has to be something you’d do even if you didn’t get paid, you’ll be looking for a long time. Maybe forever. So why set that standard? The reward for doing a job is contributing to something larger than you are, participating in society, and being valued in the form of money.
The pressure we feel to find a perfect career is insane. And, given that people are trying to find it before they are thirty, in order to avoid both a quarterlife crisis and a biological-clock crisis, the pressure is enough to push people over the edge. Which is why one of the highest risk times for depression in life is in one’s early twenties when people realize how totally impossible it is to simply “do what you love.”
Here’s some practical advice: Do not what you love; do what you are. It’s how I chose my career. I bought the book with that title – maybe my favorite career book of all time – and I took the quickie version of the Myers-Briggs test. The book gave me a list of my strengths, and a list of jobs where I would likely succeed based on those strengths.
Relationships make your life great, not jobs. But a job can ruin your life – make you feel out of control in terms of your time or your ability to accomplish goals – but no job will make your life complete. It’s a myth mostly propagated by people who tell you to do what you love. Doing what you love will make you feel fulfilled. But you don’t need to get paid for it.
A job can save your life, though. If you are lost, and lonely, and wondering how you’ll ever find your way in this world. Take a job. Any job. Because structure, and regular contact with regular people, and a method of contributing to a larger group are all things that help us recalibrate ourselves.
So if you are overwhelmed with the task of “doing what you love” you should recognize that you are totally normal, and maybe you should just forget it. Just do something that caters to your strengths. Do anything.
And if you are so overwhelmed that you feel depression coming on, consider that a job might save you. Take one. Doing work and being valued in the community is important. For better or worse, we value people with money. Earn some. Doing work you love is not so important. We value love in relationships. Make some.
Thank you! Nice tips to know.
Wow this is so what I need to read right now and you’re right. I’ve had people telling me for years do what you love and I’ve been doing it and questioning whether I love it enough or if there is one thing I would love to do more!
Thanks, great blog and I have a blog using my name too, was wondering whether to change it but I won’t now. Thanks!
Precisely what really motivated u to publish “Bad career
advice: Do what you love | Penelope Trunk Blog”?
Ireally enjoyed reading the blog post! Thanks for your time -Grant
You have issues Penelope. So, you still hate Tim Ferris?. Maybe he can loan you some start-up money.
Great post. Love it. I think that there is a separation to be made between what we think we are and what we are. As of this day, i’m struggling between what i think i want, what i think i love and what i really am as a person. In the process, it’s important to try different things, and first of all, listen to our inner voices, in my case hidden for years as i did not wanted to do deal with my real aptitudes and skills (being a devoted musician is sort of risky).
I actually learn how to not listen to people who give advices about my case, in other words, taking my own decisions based on how i visualise living my life and what i want in it, and again all this based on who i really am.
Accepting myself, knowing about myself, assume and get rid of bad influences, i’m sure, is the key. (French guy here, hope this text is readable).
I do not love my job but I have come to believe that when choosing a career, it makes perfect sense to choose one that is related to what you enjoy doing in your spare time, if you so desire. In addition people tend to become very skilled in their hobbies, even though most of the skill is gained informally. I guess it really depends upon the person.
Thanks, that was an awesome post and being a young adult, that really helped me out. Although you probably hate me since I’m from Gen Y, your advice helped me out.
Finally, you have something intelligent to say.
I like what you said in this article. I think most people lack the skill to really understand what they love and put it to work. I believe the world is at a point where you can make money doing anything. I think we waste a lot of time fighting our passion because it’s not popular. Also, most people get an education to make more money. A true education should provide you with an experience that deepens your understanding of what you truly do well. Early in your career you may have to take a JOB, but you should put all your energy in making sure you don’t spend your entire career working on someone else’s dream. NOW that is depressing. Pay the right bill off, then dream big..you won’t be broke or depressed.
As a kid, I always used to solve function optimization problems to teach computers to model social media interactions and predict diseases based on micro array genome code with a million dollar computer cluster. So I already had this hobby as kid, it was just a matter of following what I loved and actually doing it for work. Now work doesn’t feel like work at all, not even when I have to write a 120 page report. Oh wait, I didn’t even have a computer when I was kid. Too bad. Anyway, my friend loved playing video games, so he decided to follow his passion and continue playing video games. He makes barely minimum wage and plays 14h non stop. I guess he is happy, apart from the times he was considering suicide for failing high school because of too much video games, and now face becoming homeless.
Ahh, I like the wisdom of the crowds with such sayings as do what you love. Especially, when most people are miserable losers who hate their life and suffer every day. Such a wisdom. I guess it’s the same people commenting on youtube videos and sharing other wisdoms, such as girls are bitches and always buy a flower for a girl when you ask her out.
I learned the hard way that wisdoms and common sayings are not to be trusted. And if you follow what society tells you, you are most often wrong. There’s good rules and bad rules, but how can you tell? Maybe each one is dependent on specific contexts but we like to generalize it to areas where they cannot be generalized. But to be honest, I don’t know the answer and I don’t pretend to know. Maybe for some people doing what they love is good, but for others it is bad. In the end, we’ll die anyway, so decide it for yourself what you really want, how bad you really want it and if you can get it in a realistic way. Also stay informed as much as possible so that you make a good decision and don’t act on misconceptions.
I love my job, maybe too much; am I an alien for that? My job is for the youthful and those eager to travel, which was once me. I know I can’t have it forever but having it until now has been such a dream. Being 32 and doing something that I’ve loved each day is my success for now. I guess on the what’s next tab, I’ll just have to take your advice :)
very interesting to read this article. Thanks dear for such a good article.
Penelope,
Agreed. It was the message I receive from my parents when I was young.
Thanks,
MA
“The reward for doing a job is contributing to something larger than you are, participating in society, and being valued in the form of money.” – LOVE IT!
This post has pushed some serious clarification for me, it is exactly what I needed to give me a push right now. I am a 21 year old INFJ (possibly INFP – took the quickie version myself). Since I was probably 14 I have been back and fourth in pondering about career choices. I am currently in my first year of school trying to get my degree in Social Work, but I am already feeling daunted from the stories and classes I am taking (aside from Sociology & Psychology). I am leaning in the direction of becoming a Career/Employment Counsellor (Ironic?!), but my “do what you love” voice is telling me to start my own photography business and take something where I can make money working part-time (Insurance, LPN, Safety Officer). I so badly want to drop out of college sometimes. I think its being around so many anxious people all day that it leaves me drained. I am running out of my student loan and am in dire need of a job, however I am not motivated to go work in retail again with a bunch of 12 year old girls that take Instagram pictures all day long and talk about “swag”. But Penelope is right any contact with people and structure would be beneficial right now. Sometimes I can’t leave the house because I feel so anxious about other people. My plan is to save up and move to a warmer city with my partner this summer, take distance education in the human services field to earn my degree, and do photography for fun! Maybe I’ll make some extra cash doing it by the time those 12 year olds can afford some quality pictures!
Thank you Penelope!
I have been reading up on this subject and have but one problem with this article. The people who seem to believe and quote the line “Do what you love and you wont work a day in your life” or something of that same philosophy are incredibly rich and famous. I.E. Steve Jobs. The person writing this article …Penelope…I have never heard of. Point is this, Pave your own way and if you do not have the creativity to do so then at least take the advise from the ones who do.
Hi Penelope, coming across your post five years later … unsure whether comments at this time are still relevant.
The reason most people fail to do what they love is they simply don’t know what they love, or they do know, but then don’t dare.
The reason behind is that most people think love is about ‘stuff’ or reason. But if you first need stuff and reasons worthy of your love, over the long run you’re in trouble for these things can be taken away from you – in a hurry. Also keep in mind, even should you fall (in love) you will get up onto your feet again sooner or later.
The alternative? Well, IMHO there’s but one: to fall in love with love itself (BEFORE you fall in live with any person or thing).
When you fall in love with love itself … well it comes loaded with free and unexpected benefits … for a price. I think Kahlil Gibran nailed it best: And think not that you can guide the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course.
Love with reason takes just that – reason.
Love without reason takes faith. Or the innocence of children who love before they know the word “Love”.
Loving love itself also requires boatloads of balls – oops, no pun intended – of courage.
Is it worth it? Each their own. From personal experience I’d say the miracles of love cannot be had by reason alone.
There, my pennies’ worth.
Kind regards,
Beat
I’m directionless and two weeks from graduating college, and I really needed to hear this, It makes me feel alot better about my plans to get any job and just keep my interests as hobbies.
Thank you, Penelope. My son just blew his first year at a Lutheran teachers’ college, where he had no plans of becoming a Lutheran school teacher. What he really wants is to be an audio engineer. I can count on one hand the number of schools there are for audio engineering. In the meantime, I just want him to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Flip burgers. Bartend. Go to technical school. Contribute to society, make a little money, meet a few people, gain confidence. JUST. DO. SOMETHING. You don’t have to LOVE it right now, you just have to DO it. Aaaaaarrrggghh! So happy I found your blog through Rush. You’re quite the dame. You live near Madison? … God help you. ;)
Thanks Penelope! This article really enlightened me.I am a college student in my mid 20’s and a lot fo things that you’ve saide really suit e.
Penelope, I have to disagree with you on this one. I believe we should keep searching for our life calling because once you found it, it changes everything. It is the thing you love, and you can make a living from it, AND really contribute to making the world a better place.
But I do agree with you that you may not find your calling in your twenties, for reasons too many to list in a comment. I didn’t know I had any artistic talent until I enrolled in an online workshop on portrait drawing on my 29th birthday.
The first time I grabbed paint and brush in my life, I knew I was born to be a painter, an artist. And look where it has taken me in a short two years.
So I would say, make a living by doing a job you’re good at, but keep searching for your true calling. Be open to the world, don’t hurry the process.
And lastly, I love painting way more than sex.
I like you. I should find this article bitter. But I don’t. Sounds pretty solid.
This is what I call excellent blog post, We hear this kind of advice but is that really the right advice? I’ve never really thought about it this way, thanks Panelope
Excellent post. Looking forward to see more
I know many here will disagree but here we go:
I’m not so sure about this. As with many things in life, “doing what you love” comes with some sacrifice. But if you really like sex more than writing you and I both know you CAN make a living from having sex. You CAN make a living from writing, or art or whatever. It’s better to live for 10 years doing what you love that making money so you can NOT do what you love so you can be depressed. Usually, when people choose safety or security — such as saying, “I’ll work this IT job and do acting on the side even though I love acting — chances are they won’t make it as an actor and they’re probably a mediocre IT person. We all know tons of these people.
Make the courageous step. Yes, you have to pay rent, but make the courageous step… that step is usually close in and is usually the most difficult step to take.
Also allow me to add to my typo riddled post above.
If a person can take that courageous step, chances are there are people who like exactly whatever it is the “courageous” stepper has chosen to apprentice herself to. In other words, with mastery will come the possibility of charging a good rate for whatever it is you love doing.
Thanks Penelope, this article really hit home
The mantra should not be “Do what you love” but “Do what interests you”. Doing what I loved did not pan out because of too much other bureaucratic B.S. that went along with it and it ruined my love of pilates. Now I am back in the rat race doing my facial hair art, it brings stability, creativity and is a real growth area. Just do it, is correct.
So I would say, make a living by doing a job you’re good at, but keep searching for your true calling. Be open to the world, don’t hurry the process.
Penelope, I have to disagree with you on this one. I believe we should keep searching for our life calling because once you found it, it changes everything. It is the thing you love, and you can make a living from it, AND really contribute to making the world a better place.
Yes! Do what you love. Then you will get satisfaction in life.
It’s funny I came across this article now, as it’s very appropriate for the moment I am going thru in life. Do what you love is certainly something a lot of people suggest, but I believe you are right – find your strengths and tap on them. I currently feel like only about 30% of what I do at my job is actually leveraging my strengths… And I am working on figuring out what those are and what jobs go with them. I’ll look up the book you mentioned!! Thanks!!
I guess it is also how you would interpret that saying. I would rather say “monetize your talents” is better.
You aren’t talking about being valued by a community, you’re talking about being valued by a corporation–because that is where the money is made. People who work for non-profits, people who work in the arts, people who work for the little guy–those people are actually working, and yes, they are valued by their community–but they aren’t making any money. This is advice for people who want to do what they love–and what they love is making money. And that’s fine. But just say it. Don’t give us “community” crap.
I’m sorry, but I could not disagree more with this article. The kind of philosophy you’re pushing here is something that will only lead a person to a life of mundane drudgery. I think you’re misinterpreting what people mean when they say ‘do what you love.’ I believe that doing the kind of work that you love is one of the keys to a happy, spiritually-fulfilling life. For example, I am a wildland firefighter and I absolutely love it, however it is definitely work and there’s no way in hell I’d do it for free. But it’s work that I love to do.
I hope that your readers will take this article with a grain of salt and formulate their own ideas of what constitutes a genuinely fulfilling existence.
Great take on an overused myth… “Do what you love” and you’ll find happiness.
I believe this phrase is steering many job seekers looking for career advice in the opposite direction.
The sex analogy is a fantastic example of this.
Firstly, I laughed out loud reading what you love most than writing. But when I finished reading the whole thing, it made rethink about the: get paid what you love: people always tell (at least my teacher). I love playing guitar and I always wanted to make it my career, but the reality taught me a lesson. Now I think I don’t have any complain to my parent.
I must share this with my friends!
Hard to believe your sex life is tanking?? How far away from civilization is your farm? All kidding aside.. the steam punk redesigning is the psychological equivalent to what your doing within your own mind and represents the growth of your spirit. It’s good to see and you are destined for great things with that approach to evolving.
Btw, with the farm I bought I went for the contemporary look…making the old feel new again, revitalized, rejuvenated and reborn.
Hope to see you in “Better Farms and Gardens”..(of the soul ;)
~Wishing you a good Journey~
Hi PT,
It’s a tough choice.
I actually started my own martial arts school, in the evenings, whilst building my career.
Once my career hit the 100K mark(NOT online stuff, but in IT), I dropped the MA classes like a brick.
Had to choose.
MA is my passion, but will no way make that kind of money in it.
This was an Interesting post, an I like your take on it.
Good food for thought for me.
… if only I could!
BUT–Don’t do what you hate (for money or any other reason) if you can possibly avoid it. Another reason not to do what you love (for money) is that the whole money thing changes it, and then, often, you don’t love it any more. Bummer.
totally agree.. thank you for the article
What a load of bull! Advise may not be your thing either!
I work as a Software Developer in Canada. Before this profession my father want to make me a lawyer but my interest was in Technology Sector and I have complete my IT Engineer in 2002 and now I work as Software Developer. Now I really happy about choosing my career.
That was Data Center above not Date Center. Although, that would have been cool too!
totally agree.. thank you for the article
Great article,
Just checked out your blog from a reference from Ramit Sethi.
We have been in the process of guiding our 17 year old son through this process of choosing his direction after High School. We have steered him away from his original plan of a zoology degree at University (a collective gasp from the grandparents!) towards a trade to start. He is a very smart kid but his skills and dedication are not of the Master Degree level (at least not yet). We also had him do a cost analysis of the price of that particular degree vs the potential income possibilities. I think that was a real eye opener in itself!
He still loves animals so we helped him see that it doesn’t have to be his “job” but can still be his passion. With the career he is looking at he will have the opportunity to travel, make really good money and have decent periods of time off. With those parameters we helped him see that he could travel and volunteer to work with animals all over the world which would combine his travel bug with his love of animals.
Too many people get stuck “inside the box” instead of working around it.
I do agree with the premise of this article. “Doing what you love” is well intentioned, I believe, but I think there’s a better way of saying it.
I’m a college student going into software development. I can say that I definitely don’t “love” it, but I’m pretty good at it with the experience I have right now. I think it’s more important to find something you’re good at, get a job doing that thing, and try your hardest to love what you do. I think I can make that work with software development. Even though it’s a difficult and constantly changing field, it’s SO incredibly interesting and the feeling of having a valid, intellectual contribution to a much greater whole is immensely satisfying, and that’s something that I really want to fall in love with.
And if you can’t love what you do, for whatever reason, then try to enjoy your passions and what you DO love even more to make up for it. There’s a lot of work involved in successfully balancing your work and your hobbies, and it’s not unlike a relationship- Working/Persevering through the hard/bad parts makes the good/easy parts that much more rewarding.
That was Data Center above not Date Center. Although, that would have been cool too!
and if you can’t get a job, volunteer. I do both and the volunteering, 1 day a week, 4 hours, holding babies in the NICU, gives me meaning and purpose.
I work as a Software Developer in Canada. Before this profession my father want to make me a lawyer but my interest was in Technology Sector and I have complete my IT Engineer in 2002 and now I work as Software Developer. Now I really happy about choosing my career.
Great Post. I completely agree that “doing what you love” is too all-encompassing. It’s much wiser to do work that will help you build the life you want.
I do think the ultimate goal should be to enjoy your work and have a passion for for what you do. But rather than searching for “the perfect job”, simply try new things and you’ll end up in a place you didn’t initially expect.
Kevin Avery