I have to say I completely agree with you (this time :-)). When her supporters cry foul because her critics call this sexism, I want to scream that this issue is about the fact that she is a parent of 5 children who need loads of parenting - not about the fact that she is a mother.

By accepting the VP nomination, Governor Palin is abdicating involved parenthood. Just as any other candidate - male or female - would be doing by accepting this all-consuming job (including the other candidates, who at least seem to have partners to take up the slack, or grown children, or fewer children, or children not currently in crisis). Unless her marriage is so rock solid that it beats all odds, and unless her husband is absolutely thrilled by the idea of hard-core SAHD duties, this is going to be a painful unraveling. Not something I want to watch in the VP (and potentially President) of our country.

It's so helpful to hear about your perspective on this issue. You bring up some great points. I agree with you on John Edwards' home situation. The community at large needs to come to an agreement on parental standards that apply to both men and women. And maybe we should consider the fact that some of us can't have it all.

To start, yes, Mrs. Palin has five children. However, one is on his way to Iraq (good for him). That brings her down to four. One is about to get married and will be a legal adult in a few months. That brings her down to three. Three children and a very capable, loving, and devoted husband. If there were a male candidate in a similar situation, with three children and a loving and devoted wife, we would be asking the question; "Is she going to have enough time to spend on her kids?" How many single parents are there in America today with three or more children? I'm willing to bet there are quite a few. They manage to raise their children while holding jobs and running their household. Now, Mr. Palin will be faced with the task of raising three kids while getting little support from his wife…timewise. Oh, lets not forget that they really won't have to worry about money. I'm also pretty sure the White House comes without mortgage payments. He won't have to cook, clean, etc. I'm pretty sure he will be up to the task.

Trying to use her kids against her in this way is an injustice to her and her husband. In my humble opinion, I think America is not comfortable with the idea of a Mr. Mom in the White House.

Uhm, here's a shocker, folks. The kid has a dad, too. I know, I know, it's soooo passe for a family to have two parents, but it just happens to be so in this case. And here's another thing: It's ok for the wife to be the breadwinner these days! OMFG, What a concept!

So, perhaps you folks should consider minding your own business and stop the bitter, divorced, career oriented whining. Seriously, you're embarrassing yourselves.

Is anyone going to point out the fact that Sarah Palin is for "abstinence-only" teachings in the schools and refused to fund the normal teachings of sex-education? Pardon me, but obviously with her 17-year old daughter being pregnant - she's not very good at uniting "policies" and "tackling the tough issues" at home.

I am 23 years old - working mother of 2 young children. It is hard. I do believe that your family living should be up for discussion because it is a part of your character and your morales - which is an important factor when deciding in a candidate.

I am unimpressed by the tactics that their party is using in this election. Rudy Giuliani's speech was dripping in racism and ignorance. I want to point out that I am a young white woman - independent voter. I have a hard time voting Republican after being able to count on one hand the minorities at the convention. If their party REALLY is about change and uniting our country…then where is the rest of the American folks who don't happen to be caucasian? That is a red flag…

Sarah Palin will not be able to handle the grilling from the media because her speech was not her own words. Good job, McCain for doing your research on this one.

I agree with you 100%, Penelope. This topic SHOULD be up for discussion. And it is NOT sexist to question her family life and family ethics.

On a side note, John McCain has admitted that he does NOT know how to use a computer. As a young voter, I believe whoever is President of our country needs to get with the times.

Women have to work so hard to break the glass ceiling. We hear that we won't do as good a job because of our children, we hear that our children suffer because we work. These sentiments are sexist because men are never told that being parents makes them less able, or that their children will suffer because of their jobs.
I'm convinced that your objections to Mrs. Palin are partisan. Otherwise, if you really had the courage of your convictions, you'd quit your job to be a mother to your children. And advocate that all women do the same.
I am really disgusted to hear Obama supporters use Mrs. Palin's children as a reason she shouldn't be in office. No one says that Mr. Obama's daughters will suffer irreparably if he is President, and thus he shouldn't be running for office. Speak honestly about the issues you have with her. That's ok. But having a family should not disqualify anyone, man or woman, from holding office. And I have no time for people who believe that it should.
I am so angry & disappointed, I'm cancelling my feed reader's subscription to your site.

It's women like you that will continue to hold women back!!! No wonder we get lower pay in the same job as men! No wonder we can never receive the same respect as men do. There are plenty of parents with special needs children who send their kids to special care schools. It is not irresponsible of them, in fact scientifically proven that the schools are good for them. This baby will have special care from his parents, brother and sisters. As he grows, he will be treated as other normal children because the world is a better place. So stop bringing the women back to the Ice Age - should our rights to vote be taken away too and stay home and cook, clean and nurture the kids? Gosh, I hate women like you who shame a successful woman like me.

I am a parent(dad) of a young little boy with Down syndrome that is 6. My wife and I also have a 9 yr old girl and another boy that is 7.

My wife is a full-time parent and I work from home 3 days a week so that I can be there to help.
Trust me, it's a monumental task for the two of us even.

Our children are our lives and we both know that the moment we became parents, our roles and tasks in life changed. This became even more evident with the birth of our littlest and his very special needs.

Parent first.

Personally, I don't have kids but my experience with downs syndrome people has been beautiful. I think they are simply extraordinarily loving, which to me seems like evolutionary progress for the species.

Thank you!

I completely agree with what you have posted on your blog. I don't have children (not God's plan for me), but it irritates me beyond words for those who have been blessed with children to treat them with such disregard. My best friend has two special needs children both under seven years old now, and her sole purpose in life is to get through each day with both. I hear her pleas for sanity yet know she wouldn't give up her role for the lottery jackpot.

Palin's selfish pursuits are going to damage her family beyond what she can probably imagine. It is irresponsible to think that she could lead this nation when she is quick to push her family's needs off onto her husband and/or the public so easily.

Penelope, so when are you going to bite bullet and find a man to take care of you so you can raise your kids?

By your logic, Palin is a bad parent by not spending what you see as enough time or effort on raising her kids. The same can be said about you.

How can you suggest that just because Sarah Palin has young children at home, she should not accept this opportunity? Would you say the same if her husband had been named as McCain's running mate and Sarah was just gonna be the devoted little housewife/mom keeping home together for him?

Pardon me, your double standard is showing.

If it's wrong for Palin to run, why isn't it wrong for Obama? He has young kids, too. And he also has a devoted spouse in the wings. Only their family just happens to fit the traditional mold: Daddy earns the living while Mommy makes the home. So, just because the Palins have turned this upside-down, she's vilified and the Republicans are idiots to choose her? WHY?

Feminists have been telling us for decades that we CAN have it all. That the fact of our womanhood and motherhood should not detract from evaluation of our career ability. They've been telling men that they should take a more active role in child-rearing and home-keeping. But when a gutsy woman and her equally gutsy husband decide to actually live out what the feminists have been telling us we should do, suddenly she's a horrible mother and he's a wimpy guy?

You cannot have it both ways.

And the special-needs status of their child doesn't really matter. First off, the VP makes more than $220K per year. So they can afford more and better household help than you can. Nanny, tutor, housekeeper, manager, private physicians, personal assistants … they are going to have plenty of help in managing the family.

Furthermore, the VP lives in the 9100 sq. ft., fully-staffed VP's residence (aka the Admiral's House), and earns more than $220K /year. Housing and staff is not really going to be an issue for them. In fact, Palin might find that she has more, and higher quality time, to spend with her children, simply because so many things will not be required of her at home.

So here is a woman who has been able to land a really high-powered job, who has the support of her husband and (mostly grown) family, and who has the financial means to ensure that her family will not be neglected while she performs her duties, yet all of the so-called women's-rights advocates are lambasting her because she has a new baby with Down's Syndrome. What happened to women having power, having choice, having equal opportunity?

I'm sickened by the whole, disgusting brouhaha. WE women have been standing behind our talented men for centuries. Now it's our turn to shine a little, and I think that's grand.

So I say, GO PALIN! Show the world what a determined, well-educated, respectable woman can do. And GO MR. PALIN! You show the world what a supportive man can do to help his talented wife achieve great things.

Parenting a Speial Needs child is hard work. How is anyone in the federal government going to know what we need if we don't stop whining about how hard it is and get off our buts and go join them. Do you realize the asset special needs will get with a special needs parent so close to the White House? Do you think we would have heard so much about global warming if it wasn't Al Gore's pet cause!!!

No doubt we can appreciate that you and palin have a unique struggle with abnormal children and that that hurdle is a high one.

It still remains that you are fantastically ridiculous (yes, I'm entertained and will continue to read about gen y nonsense and your failed personal life. many thanks). i do suspect that you'd be offering a different tune if palin was a liberal. she would then be strong or whathaveyou. Why aren't you at home? gen y and the careerists of the world need your help more? gen y doesn't have real problems yet. according to you, your children do.

As a breadwinner Mom of a son with downs with a loving husband at home managing that entie front, I have to disagree Penelope. Your story and situation is unfortunate, yes, but not everyone has the same experience. I'm sure there are many other variables involved in the dissolution of your marriage and the stress and strain you were under than just your income vs. your husband's, your children's health status, or your career aspirations. I think your points are valid, sure, but not universal.

I loathe Sarah Palin for her disregard to the environment, her horrifying take on energy and international relations, and her apparent desire to bully and pick fights - very OLLLLDDD tactics for someone who is supposed to bring reform and change to the arena. How she chooses to live her life or parent her children is none of my business. I may have an opinion on the matter, but I don't think she should be called to task for any decision regarding her private life. I don't care if her marriage is strained. I didn't have to submit to a parenting/morality/marriage strength test when I accepted my position - why should she?? If her marriage falls apart, that's her problem. If another kid gets knocked up for whatever reason, that's her problem, too. I don't think these topics should be "off the table" for discussion, but I don't think anyone is in a position to say definitively one way or another that a professional woman who happens to be married and have children - with or without special needs - "ought" to do this that or the other. She's not setting out to marry or parent this country; she's setting out to (supposedly) lead it.

“She is nuts. And the Republicans are nuts for putting her on a ticket. She has a five-month-old kid with Down's Syndrome.”

I agree. As governor she already has a load of responsibility. It is obvious that she does put her career above her family, but that is her business.

“Because every parent in the world has had to compromise, and it's fair to judge public figures on the choices they make.”

I agree 100% with you on this and everything you said in this post and I don't do that often.

Cyber hugs for you and the hard work you do.

oh sarah palin… abstinence education sure does work, huh! I love how people of her mindset pay no attention to the actual, physical, observable results of the lifestyle they endorse.

SING IT

This was a great choice for McCain because it gave him instant celebrity status. Now everyone is talking about Palin. Instead of talking about how great Obama is or what's wrong with the country, everyone is making Palin relevent. The substance is irrelevent; controversy sells. And if it starts to look like she could actually hurt him, she can heroically withdraw in October earning sympathy votes.
Her choices are not necessarily selfish. She has an opportunity of a lifetime and perhaps her whole family decided this was best for the country…just like sending a kid to Iraq. Opportunities to change the world like this are tempting and rare. Who's to say passing up on it might not be a cop out. When it's your turn…when the call to service comes…you find a way to make it work andto hell with what other people think.

Everett - is the inability to live independently also an evolutionary improvement? Down syndrome is a disability - not a some super power. The life span of people living with down syndrome is significantly reduced and dementia often occurs in their forties. While any parent of a special needs kid can tell you it is incredibly rewarding, that does not make it a positive.

Wow Penelope, just wow.

I get that you lean waaaay to the left, but I have always respected your intelligence and I admire the fact that you promote introspection and self knowledge.

But here is a fact: by your own admission, you are at best "non standard" and at worst, highly dysfunctional.

Your partisanship pimp-slapped your principles and ideals to the point that you make a laughable argument about what is best for someone you do not know and do not understand.

Sarah Palin is virtually incomprehensible to an East Coast Democrat. Just admit it.

Hey, I don't get Chuck Schumer or Hillary or any any of the Kennedy clan. Not in my DNA, not in my culture, not in my values. I think you people that like them are… all kinds of things.

The difference here is that I at least understand the cultural and ideological gap. I understand WHY I don't "get it" and I don't pretend it is a matter of intelligence or education when I know it is all about world view, values and ideology.

Pretending you give a rats ass about her kids or her family or her marriage is disingenuous to the core. Shame on you and shame on everyone else who is afraid to just stand up and say "I strongly disagree with this womans values and ideology and I think her ideas are bad for the country"

That would be honest and a little courageous, not fake and gag inducing like it is when you pretend to give even the slightest damn.

I am so proud to see what Sarah is doing. She is a Republican and like most Alaskans, she has a strong libertarian streak and a low tolerance for political BS. As a former citizen of Wasilla (I went to the same church and schools as Sarah) I cannot wait to see what she will do next.

I feel this way because I have a high degree of alignment with her life experience and her values - is she good or bad for the country? Depends on your values - to me she is good, to you she is bad - but have the decency to be real about it.

And another thing - few things are more ridiculous than Easterners whining about drilling in ANWR. It's a frozen wasteland. The part they want to drill is like a postage stamp on a football field and support for drilling is almost universal among Alaskan citizens. Really, the nerve of some of you (commenters).

Now I am off to see if I can't find some religion and guns to go cling to.

Oh please David, most Alaskans want to exploit the natural resources because they care more about the paychecks the state gives them instead of the environment. Alaska is just one big earmark state and their so-called "individualism" is about as big a B.S. myth as the "individualism of farmers (sorry Penelope) who get huge Federal subsisidy payouts.

This is great branding Penelope…nice controversial post that should generate web traffic. Especially since an Alsaka blog rocketed to Top 20,000 status on Alexa just because of Sarah Palin.

Having said that, I believe that people should be able to make whatever reasonable choice they feel their family can handle. Her extremist views are more a bother for most people than whether or not she can handle the jobs of VP and Mother. And Todd (as well as the teenage Dad) need to step up to the plate. If Hillary can run for office so can Sarah Palin.

Finally, I will agree on one point…regardless of whether or not she can juggle this role, her decision to subject her family to this mess, especially the teenage daughter; shows as much about the dark side of her decision making as the choice of Sarah Palin as VP showed the dark side of John McCain's decsion making.

I agree with your conclusion, that the Republican VP candidate choice is risky (at best), but not for the same reasons listed.

I don't think autism and down syndrome are fairly comparable. They are not quite the same. Downs syndrome babies, (children, even adults,) are notoriously easygoing. I'm not bothered by a five month old baby, who will be almost a year old by the time they office, and who has a ton of family to help care for him.

Palin's family situation is not like Penelope Trunk's, and not as tragic as John Edwards' either. Cancer is a lot harsher than Downs syndrome. Palin has a lot of factors in her favor.

The reason I think Palin's risky - is because she has a bachelor's degree in journalism, from Idaho, compared to Obama's law degree from Harvard. Sorry, but that's my prejudice. I think anyone can get into her college, but his graduate school record is amazing, and at an amazing institution. He's a lot smarter, that's all. Maybe it's "book learning," but that counts. I think she's clearly an … amateur.

While I'm thrilled to see Gen Y folks finally get into the political scene, and pleased to see a woman in her 40s "making it" in her chosen profession, and can even laugh at the "passing of the torch" and marvel at the changes in society, bottom line is I'm terrified now - she might actually become president. Wow. Talk about bad sucession planing. McCain is clearly the idiot.

At least Hillary Clinton had international diplomatic experience, had been intimately involved in the country's politics … for decades, and I believed she could assemble a good working team of respectable and powerful policy makers. (It matters, for instance, who is secretary of state.)

Happy as I would be to have dinner with Palin, or McCain even, I wouldn't trust them. I don't think either are wise enough to make good decisions, for all our people, nor inspired to lead this country, basically to spend our millions on projects that help rather than creating wars.

Then again, I didn't trust Bush either, either one, nor Reagan, and I have always felt Al Gore won, in 2000. I still Bill Clinton won not from experience, but with an excellent education, and talent, combined.

It's bound to be an interesting couple of months!

Good point about the experience Yvette. We have already seen the last 8 years how poorly an incurious mind does at running the Country.

I believe people finally want someone with some intelligence as President. Comparing John McCain's lackluster military education performance (what was he, 891 out of 895?) and Ms. Palin's 5 colleges in 6 years with Obama's Harvard degree and law professorship (and Biden's top notch education ending with a J.D.) is like comparing a 5 year old getting S's in Kindergarten with a High School A.P. student.

Hip Hip Hooray. Thanks for stating what I think is obvious. IMHO, Palin accepting the nomination as VP candidate is one more example of her willingness to sacrifice women's right to choose. She had a choice to say NO to the very tantalizing invitation to run as VP, and she passed up on that choice - because she didn't feel as though she had a choice. I hope we end up with someone in leadership who supports all of our rights to make many choices. Regardless of gender, regardless of the choice.

* * * * * *

I love this comment. Thanks, Kathleen. Your point is eloquent and sharp and I wish I had said it this way.

-Penelope

Instead of judging other women, why don't you quit work, stay home and spend 100% of your time parenting your children? I'm guessing because you've found that you can make it work without being there every second of every day. And, shocker of shockers, I bet Sarah Palin came to the same conclusion.

bigoted comment alert "And it's nearly impossible to keep a marriage together when the husband quits his job to take care of the kids (which Palin's husband just did)…"

so it's fine for the wife to stay at home, but not the husband?

and the elitist comparison of Obama's education record vs McCain/Palin?? my gosh, look @ the relative real life experiences both bring.. McCain almost gave his life for the USA and you dismiss him because he didn't finish at the top of his class?

Heck, I like Obama allot, but you need to have some realistic benchmarks and weigh all pertinent facts.. The USA is so divisive, it's either one way or the other.. You don't value what you truly have.

Penelope,

Perhaps we should ask the same question of you.

Do you really think you should be running a company with two young special needs children? I don't want someone running a company who has kids at home who desperately need them.

"The Republicans should dump Palin. She's got too much responsibility at home."

Spoken by an Obama supporter who saw the speech last night.

You may higher maintenance than Mrs. Palin. She is raising her family with her partner of 20+ years. For whatever reasons, you have not found a partner for that duration. I think this is an apples to oranges comparison.

Oops — You may be higher maintenance.

Sidney,

Re; "regardless of whether or not she can juggle this role, her decision to subject her family to this mess, especially the teenage daughter; shows as much about the dark side of her decision making as the choice of Sarah Palin as VP showed the dark side of John McCain's decsion making."

Perhaps Governor Palin should have said turned down the opportunity and let Bristol live with the guilt that she cost her mother the opportunity of a lifetime, eh?

Yvette,

Re; "Bill Clinton won not from experience, but with an excellent education, and talent, combined."

As a native Arkansan, I can tell you that Bill had a good education and talent. But he also had 12 years as Governor of Arkansas. And he was a pretty darn good one. That experience had a lot to do with him being elected.

Speaking to education, Lincoln did his "figures" on a shovel with charcoal. The lack of an Ivy League degree did not hold him back in the slightest.

Sidney,

The Naval Academy is a notoriously hard school where everyone is essentially pursuing an engineering curriculum. But does McCain's college performance matter all these years later? Does Biden finishing near the bottom of his law school class (76 out of 84 I belive) really matter?

In any event, how does this matter? Governor Palin has been successful at every stop on the way. And she has managed to raise a family as well. Penelope is certainly entitled to her opinion. But it is amazing to me that feminism was supposed to give women choices and opportunties. I guess they mean that women should make certain choices.

What a bummer….. I have bought your book and read every blog and stood in line to speak with you at a conference.

No matter what your political views are, you really need to give back your mom card and your woman card! Is it 1950 and you have forgotten that women can do anything a man can do and better?

Obama is running for president and has two small children. And Michelle is very involved in the campaign. Grandma is raising those kids. Is that wrong too????

Come on…. Really…. I am honestly disappointed.

The woman has been in politics for years and it is wrong for you to compare her to you in any way. I am sure she weighed the pros and cons and made a choice. Although the youngest children may not have a hands on mother for a while, I am sure there are a wealth of family members working to help those children. Those children will be exposed to things that no other child in America could experience, a strong mother in the White House. What an example of drive, dedication and strength. Those children are lucky.

Penelope,

This looks mad to me, too.

Has anyone noticed that as soon as poor Bristol's pregnancy was announced, the baby was handed off to the next daughter in line? These girls ARE the child-care back-up plan, at (I suspect) a severe cost to their own lives. They look even less animated and happy than politicians' children usually look.

Mr. Mom is bearing up with good grace so far, but it can't be easy.

Well Penelope,

So real mean-spirited stuff to have to read, must be hard. You sound full of life and energy, but sometimes it's hard to practice what you may be advocating.

Personally, I think this VP decision was quite sexist…against men. A man that had the "credentials" she had would have been deemed inadequate. Guess it pays to be female. McCain picked her because he knows most Republicans cant stand him, yet the women he was targeting with his pick would have voted Republican anyway.

Nancy Pelosi has 5 children, she has been in Congress for 21 years. Did anyone question her parenting skills?

How about Biden who had to raise 2 boys as a single father? He wanted to quit and raise his boys, he was encouraged not to.

How do we know Palin's Husband isn't already helping out in taking care of the kids?

I think it is a lot to project our biases onto other people.

As far as her daughter getting pregnant, no one is perfect, and no one claims to be. But it is how we adapt, adopt, and handle the crisis that reveals a person's character. I don't see why her daughter should be criticized for taking responsibility for her mistake.

On the other hand if Sarah can juggle the kids and her career then just maybe the religious right (James Dobson of Focus on the Family) will finally get off their high horses about women working outside the home being bad for raising kids. I heard Dobson on a radio show go on and on for over 20 minutes about how bad that is for the kids and now he thinks Sarah is the perfect for VP. So now he gets it. Good for him.

Yeah sing it! Tell us more about the piece of crap Palin is as a mother while you spend your time writing about waxing your hoo-hoo. Your family life is a disaster. Your opinion of soemone else's parenting doesn't count.

The ridiculous comments from YOU on this subject are vile.

Now go back to twittering about oral sex — your kids are at home being raised by your soon to be ex.

McCain has like ten kids. How many does Obama have? I don't even know. No one questions the man's ability to do a job based on the number of children he has.

I don't think anyone with young kids should run for the presidency or vice presidency. There's no avoiding using their own children as political pawns. They may say they're trying to keep them out of the spotlight but in every speech or major announcement there is the family to "show support." Yes, being the president or vp is the opportunity of a lifetime but I could never put my career that far ahead of my family and I don't even have kids.

Penelope,

I am so glad you addressed this topic. As the father of a 5 year old son with Down syndrome I have some strong opinions about Ms. Palin’s nomination to the Vice Presidency. My wife and I have also have two other boys ages 3 and 7 months.

I don’t want to politicize the issue but I do want to comment on raising a family with special needs. Certainly Penelope knows the joys, triumphs, and frustration. It isn’t easy and I can’t imagine how challenging it must be as a single parent.

Managing our son’s challenges is a full time job; negotiating with health insurance companies, attending meetings at the school, and advocating for our son so that he can share the same experiences as his typical brothers. It is hard work and not without its share of arguments and frustration. My wife and I make it work.

Penelope’s thesis has merit. Perhaps Ms. Palin’s focus should be on her family. The reality, however, is that she may very likely be our next Vice President. There is no turning back for the Palin family. More than likely her husband will have to assume the duties of “homemaker” and Penelope has already cited the pitfalls of that type of situation.

I think Cait is onto something when she compares the special needs situation and the global warming issue raised by Vice President Gore. Ms. Palin stated unequivocally that parents of children with special needs will have an advocate in Washington. I believe her. I believe we should take advantage of her willingness to advocate and champion the needs of our most fragile population; our special needs population.

I wish the Palin’s the very best. I hope her family is strong enough to survive the campaign, teen pregnancy, the issues surrounding Down syndrome, the education system of Washington, DC, and having a stay at home father.

One challenge to a comment. Yvette believes children and adults with Down syndrome are easygoing. One of the myths about Down syndrome is that people who have it are happy easy going people. People with Down syndrome have the same range of emotions as the rest of us. They feel sorrow, pain, anger, love, and happiness the same way you or I do. Take it from a father of a 5 year old; sometimes our son with Down syndrome is more stubborn than our other children. I would encourage everyone to visit the National Down Syndrome Society website (www.ndss.org) for facts about Down syndrome or join a Buddy Walk to help raise money and awareness about Down syndrome.

I applaud Penelope for taking a stand. She speaks from the heart, with conviction and the experience of a mother of children with greater needs than others.

> Okay. Look. I wasn't going to tell you what I
> think of Sarah Palin, but so many people are
> asking…

Yeah, I'll bet. Everyone wants to know what PT Trunk thinks.

I can't get behind you on this one, Penelope. I don't like her but I don't think she needs a less demanding job because of her kids.

Brazen careerist??? This blog needs a new title. How about Brazen Hypocrite? Perhaps you should re-read your post of Sept 21, 2006 where you declared a goal of being less judgmental. Or did someone else write that post for you?

You mention that you stayed at home when your kid was 5 months old. "Hating it. Telling myself that I was not cut out to be at home."

Sarah Palin is not cut out to be at home, either.

Did it ever occur to you, Penelope, that Sarah Palin is a more capable woman than yourself? She's already handled these issues while being Governor.

As others have commented before - women like you are detrimental to those of us that have careers. Sadly, this blog no longer serves anyone but your own self-absorbed self.

Why are we all pretending it's acceptable for two 17 year old kids to marry? Does anyone else see this as tragic?

Marriage is hard enough for adults. Why would a mother encourage/endorse the marriage of her young daughter to a boy who is just as unprepared?

This irresponsible and disgusting.

Anyone heard of Nancy Pelosi???
She also has 5 kids.
Anyone asking how she takes care of them???
Get real!!

Thanks for writing this Penelope. I think the issue of Palin and her kids has been "the elephant in the room" that no one will talk about.

As a mother of two kids, one <1 year old, neither so far appear to be special needs, I can't imagine agreeing to take on those levels of responsibilities.

Irrespective of whatever else she has done or hasn't that makes her qualified or not, I have to question her character at agreeing to take this on. She could end up abandoning her kids. (And, I always questioned John Edwards' character for the same reasons Penelope mentioned).

My only mitigating thought is that she expects her ticket to lose, so this will be a couple months in the spotlight and then she'll go back to small town Alaska, maybe join the speakers circuit for $40,000 a night. The latter would mean a good income and time with the kids.

My other conspiracy-oriented thought is that she has agreed only to be on the ticket, not necessarily to serve if elected. With a complex family life, it would be believable for her to say she can no longer fulfill the role and step down about 6 months into the term, allowing McCain and the republicans to select someone McCain knows better and wants to work with.

I would add that a pregnant 17 year old is also a special needs child. I hate the hypocrisy of the "family first" party not doing so–and it doesn't matter to me if it's the man or the woman.

Also, campaigning is a bit more than the average 40 hour a week job. She's going to be totally absent for quite some time.

If you are going to take a crack at Palin, there is plenty of fodder from her speech alone. Why bring her family into it at all? This wouldn't be an issue if some politician's wife quit her job to help out with the children so why are you making it an issue? I think you are full of crap. I'll be even more specific: I'm a democrat and an Obama supporter and I think you are full of crap. As a matter of fact, I am betting you just wrote that blog about Palin to be inflammatory and to get people to respond to it - well, I consider myself duped for the last time. I'm done reading your blog for good. Hope you get a clue someday.

People tend to be amazed at others who are able to balance and prioritize tasks and roles that are outside their personal frames of reference. All marriages are not equal, and every mother has her own style, her own methods. It is just too difficult to look at a family's situation from the outside and produce a fair judgment about that family's decisions. Time will tell how well Governor Palin is able to balance the challenges she faces, whether in Washington or in Juneau. Lessons from history lead me to conclude that people are capable of much more than the pundits presuppose. I submit to you the following for consideration: with the defeatist attitude that it could not be done, would suffragists have gained the right to vote? I wonder what those women sacrificed in their roles at home to serve and fight for what they believed? The value in taking on what may seem like insurmountable challenges to those outside is ultimately in demonstrating the power of the individual and his/her unique gifts. This point is extremely important in the context of the subtle, quasi-communist worldview that permeates our entertainment industry and media outlets. If we really want to make the world a better place, let's recognize high self-efficacy and praise it.

I have a lot of mixed feelings on this post. You have a lot of merit because of your own special needs children. However, I'm sure Palin has this once in lifetime opportunity. I'm not voting for her, but its not because I think she should stay home. It's because she doesn't hold my same views. Have you ever heard of Coya Come Home?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coya_Knutson

Another time, another place, same issue. I don't think the fact that she is a mother should be an issue of whether you vote for her or not. Please don't write the Sara Come Home letter.

Michelle,

Re; "I hate the hypocrisy of the "family first" party not doing so–and it doesn't matter to me if it's the man or the woman."

I hate the hypocrisy of the feminists either dumping on Sarah Palin for making choices they say she should have or standing by and watching her be subjected to sexist attacks all because she has an "R" next to her name. Perhaps we have learned that one party is not as neanderthal-like as some claim and that the other is not as open minded as they claim.

Minor nitpick–it's Down Syndrome, not Down's. Down didn't have it. Dr. Down named it.

Many, many thanks

Penelope is ridiculous beyond words. So much so that I think that the post is not about genuine belief but calculated to draw a combination of ire and sympathy (which is fine). The lib posters are a total embarrassment and fail at every turn. And I dig it! I haven't enjoyed such blatant dumbassery since "rock of love" on VH1. Keep it up.

I don't even have a special needs child. I have two teenagers, who are active in school, swimming and cross country. This week alone I've had two school open houses to attend and one swim meet. This weekend I have a cross country meet to attend. I'm a Democrat and I dislike Sarah Palin's politics immensely. However, tonight I was thinking about her as I was running around at my daughter's open house. I was thinking about the fact that there is no way she can be Vice President of the United States and parent at the same time. Which is fine, if that's what she wants. What I resent is her standing there acting like she's some great mom. How can you be such a great mom when you're not even present? Everyone but her is taking care of her young children.

My personal thoughts are like yours - it won't be easy for her at all. I'm the mom of 1 about to be kindergartener who works full time and so does my husband. I can't imagine dealing with 5 children, let alone one with special needs and an unexpected grandchild on the way.

I do disagree with you about Edwards - although Elizabeth Edwards prognosis isn't good, she could be around for a while and the family has dealt with being in politics for many years since he ran for vice president before and was in Congress.

This is a very well thought out article. One issue we are missing is the fact is she making her 17 year old daughter marry the boy( yes boy) who got her pregnant.

Also, if she is 44, she got pregnant at 43 so she knew ahead of time that the chance for child being born with Downs is expentional.

She did it anyway.

She advocated shooting polar bears, he shot a grizzly bear herself as a trophy. Animals as trophies that is barbaric and cruel.

My father was a two term Vietnam vet and he would shoot deer, because the population would over run in the area I am from. My mother was the voice of enlightenment she said," No dead animals on my wall" We are not barbaians.

Also, being tough does not mean being savage and over-achieving. We look to women to be the ethical, moral and sensiable thinkers. Not the overbearing( not a pun I promise) type A personalities. Women are strong just from existing in this wonky world.

Acting like a Man is not the soultion. She is horribly irresponsible in her own life and she is only a soccer mom. I am not berating that but its a nation not a ball game.

The way you wrote this post made me agree with what you were saying. But stepping back, I disagree. I wish I could write more like you ;)

Majority of comments are against Penelope's opinion.

Honest question: are u hitting sarah just to increase traffic?

Interesting perspective and probably quite valid but I would rather focus on policy and track record in decision making. I don't think having a 5mo special needs child or a 17yo pregnant daughter disqualifies her from being VP.

In the UK, the leader of the opposition party has a son with cerebral palsy. No one would ever suggest this disqualified him from high office. And by the way, his wife is a successful career woman in her own right.

However, I sincerely hope that American voters will decide that her loony politics disqualify her.

The fact that she is a far-right wing Christian is far more relevant than the fact that she's a woman. She is a good pick for McCain because she will energise the conservative base and they will mobilise the get-out-the-vote machine for her far more than they ever would for McCain.

I can't figure out why people suggest that Sarah Palin could attract Hillary supporters. Hillary supporters want a woman but not any woman. What part about Palin appeals to moderates?

No marriage is that rock solid. That kind of stress on a family will either dissolve it or her.

But then politics isn't based in sanity.

"In politics, absurdity is not a handicap."
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)

Sorry Penelope but I think this is the pot calling the kettle black here.

At least in this case there is someone staying home to take care of the kids.

This is the BEST post about Palin I've seen yet–I love it. You are 100% right on every single point. I can't believe how much everyone is tip-toeing around this topic–saying stuff like "I though the mommy wars were over" and being shocked that anyone's even questioning Palin's ability to both be VP of the US and mom to an infant. Like you said–it's one thing to be a working mom who can be home at 2:30 or whatever, but it's quite another to be VP of the United States. That's not just a job–it's a life.

I also think your point about her marriage being in serious jeopardy is a great one. People are so glib about how it shouldn't matter whether it's Palin or her husband taking care of the kids; the fact is that a) it does matter and b) it will matter to his ego.

I seriously think if McCain read this post he'd be kicking himself for having picked her because there is no way he'll win with her as VP.

"Palin's children should take priority over being Vice President"

If that is what you believe then how can you not believe:

"Trunk's children should take priority over being CEO"

Thinly disguised endorsement for one party. It's fine by me if you tell us who you support, but why don't you just come out and say it?

I agree with you about the difficult of special needs kids and careers. I have 2 special needs kids as well. My oldest has Aspergers, my second Pervasive Developmental Disorder (and I have 2 more boys too). And I work–a lot. It's also my way of trying to keep mentally sane when things are unraveling around me. And I need to be sane for my kids.

I don't envy Sarah Palin for a minute. However I can understand why she accepted the nomination for VP. That is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I can hardly imagine if I was in her shoes passing that by. I also don't envy the extreme hardships she and her family will encounter if by chance the Republicans win in November.

So as a mom, I sympathize with what she will have to endure now and the fact that she most likely didn't think this part of her life through, but as a career-minded woman, I also understand why she did it.

This column was incredibly sexist. The attempt to liken Ms. Palin's situation to that of John Edwards fails miserably because while you may feel the same way about Edwards' situation as you do Palin's, I don't remember any scathing columns slamming Edwards for his choice. Yet you feel free to criticize Palin. Your column was yet another example of women keeping other women down by unfair criticism that would not be leveled at a man in the same situation.

I think she is pushing it by going into office with young children. I think men and women should wait until their kids are older before they run for such an important position like VP. We need people to be running our county to have total focus in office instead of worrying about if the nanny got paid her overtime last week.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Penelope. I think you got one thing wrong though. John McCain doesn't intend to let Sarah Palin do any actual work as VP, she's just there to look pretty and get votes. So she should have plenty of time to take care of all those children in her fancy new house once they are in office.

I had some of the same thoughts–one was who was going to take care of the kids. Wow, her job is going to be much harder with 6 kids. But guess what, they have a full time stay at home dad, and more than likely he will have plenty of help. It is ridiculous for US to try and determine if Palin can be a mother, wife, and vice president–you think you can based on YOUR life experience–Uh, I say let her make this choices for herself. Or are you suggesting the right to make a choice ends with the birth of a special needs child–or maybe any child at all. Don't vote for the ticket, but let Palin choice her own destination.

You want the focus to be on the family?! You, with a team of domestic hired hands?!

You lost credibilty with me on this issue.

As most have echoed, the liberal voice is obvious. In this case, I'd really like to hear what your farmer friend has to say about not only Sarah Palin, but your opinion towards her.

Really. Hey Rachel under you system we can't have John F. Kennedy. Men and women can lead, work and raise kids. Vote yea or nay on the issues. Sarah appears capable and not easily overwhelmed. Current President seems easily overwhelmed. I like the perspective a working mother can bring and the current knowledge of family and healthcare issues she must have. It is the quality of the time that matters not the quantity when dealing with children. You are selling her, yourself and women short. This oldster has learned there are many paths to child rearing, marriage, life and politics. Frankly we need more working women with children in the workforce and leading the country. As a group I find such people to be energetic, practical, and unafraid to make quick but thoughtful decisions.

Awesome, awesome, awesome post. It sounds like you'd been holding your breath for the past week for fear this would all spew out. And you have a very valid point. For the so-called family-oriented party at that.

I am disgusted by the Republican party's blatant play for sympathy vote, and have been from the get-go. I am more disgusted by the way the people around me have fallen all over themselves, caught up in what is clearly a purely PR move.

I must say, thank god for your John Edwards comment. As a women I think it is incredibly antiquated to place all the "good parenting" responsibility on the mother. If you're lucky enough in this day and age to have a father there to help you raise your child I think we are far enough removed from our biology that we can safely state the job of raising a child should be 50/50 for mother AND father. With that said, I would hope all the male candidates would be held to the same parenting standards Palin is. Bottom line, perhaps politicians would be better off not having children while in office if they'd like to avoid situations like Palin's…

I think it would be a terribly hard choice for an ambitious woman to choose between running for Vice President and caring for her family. I don't think she had adequate time to consider the decision, and she has already said she isn't clear on the scope of the VP job. For at least the next 5 months her life will not be her own. Her children's school and routines will be disrupted, she will be travelling all over the country and be under great stress. All this while she has children at home who need her - partcularly the youngest, special needs child and the teenager who will need her mother to guide her through the scary experience of pregnancy and childbirth.

The timing is bad on this. In 4 or 8 years she would have more experience and not quite so many personal issues weighing her down. She would also have more time to think about the decision, plan what it would mean for her family and how to cope.

I understand that it is hard to say no to a great opportunity, but it is not just her own life she is uprooting. All the concessions she has made for her family in Alaska, like nursing in meetings and moving her work location closer to home just aren't possible with this new job.

It would be best for the country and her family if she doesn't have to choose between them in January.

Go, Penelope! I'm the breadwinner with a toddler and also getting my MBA. I'm all for a woman in the White House. In addition to your points, Palin is running on a values platform, and I seriously question her values. She has two children in crisis - this is NOT the time to attempt to run the United States as well. Not because she's a woman, but because she's a PARENT.

I think some of you are missing Penelope's point. Of course Todd Palin will have help at home to care for children. So does Penelope–and she's saying it's STILL extremely hard. Despite the fact that this family will have all the help, support and resources in the world, it's still not going to be easy for them. Sarah and Todd Palin are not incapable, but it's going to be very, very hard for them to stay emotionally and mentally grounded if she is voted into office.

Bravo! What a fabulous point! All parents with disabled children should basically stay home instead of taking opportunities that come their way.

By this account, Gordon Brown, the UK's PM - leaving aside for a second his policy and political situation - should go home because he has a child with Cystic Fibrosis.

Not just that, David Cameron, the Conservative Party leader, should also stay home because his wife, as the Creative Director of Smythson, earns way more than he ever will and they have a severely autistic child at home.

Public figures with physically or mentally disabled children are needed in much larger numbers than we have right now. They would help bring the disability issue from under the carpet into the mainstream of political debate; into the mainstream discussions in the corporate world, which shuns disabled people from the workforce; and into the eyes of society which really needs to do more than to condemn the parent of a disabled child to a solitary life of misery.