Slow monotonous talkers. People who only talk about themselves or moan endlessly about how tough life is. These guys are boring.

And you might be a nice guy but you’re not getting paid to listen.

But if you show them your true feelings or give them short shrift, they won’t like you. So, it’s tough to be liked in all circumstances by everybody.

And I haven’t even mentioned the bad tempered demons.

When I worked in an office there were always a few people whom everyone hated and who hated everyone else. And when I say everyone I mean everyone. Even the goody-goody hated these people (though she would never admit it).

* * * * * *

Alas, the list of ways to be unlikable often seems infinite. But to a different person, the list of ways to be likable is infinite :)

–Penelope

Here’s a big one: being too needy. How can someone be expected to get anything done if they’re constantly being bugged by their needy co-workers?

How about taking EVERYTHING personally and turning it all into a mini-drama? This is the best way I’ve found that co-workers quickly develop a hatred for each other.

Another way is don’t be consistent with your participation in team activities. Participate in some, but not all, and don’t ever explain yourself, just show up when you feel like it.

One other way I’ve seen used, and that as a manager can really irk me, is taking advantage of time off policies meant to improve balance. If PTO is a right, and you can call in at the last minute, doing so can turn your team on you f-a-s-t!

Last one I’ll share is expecting that seniority is the ONLY way to distribute the goods, or acting like seniority isn’t important, until YOU get to that senior position and then becoming that person who uses seniority to your advantage.

Very insightful article! I read it at Yahoo! and I subscribe to your blog, so it’s fun to see both halves. Well done!

I read your blog today titled, “New financial data highlights generational rifts”

As an old Gen X individual (40) I’d have to agree with your statements about money, and how the different generations view it. How do you think the millennials, those in the 16-25 age group, view work and money? This is the first group to always have internet, cell phones and cable T.V.

It surprises me that you consider yourself fit to give advices. Your first comment makes you sound like an immature twenty-year-old. You do not sound professional; you’re the type of person that I would hang out with at work but not listen to. You did a good job explaining each point, but your article is biased and one dimensional. You expressed your views without using any research findings for support. You should have already realized that in order to gain credibility, you need to do more than just stating opinions. As a therapist, I can say with confidence that your interpretations cannot be generalized across situations. What you said can be applied to only some cases. You need to be aware of the fact that everybody is different. This means that two people may behave the same way for different reasons (other than the ones you provided).

“You probably don’t know if you’re using sarcasm as a defense mechanism, but if you use it a lot, it’s a safe bet that it’s in a defensive way.”

“But if you do have things to say but don’t say them, then you’re not likable only because you’re so insecure that you believe you’ll sound stupid when you talk.”

“Most people who talk but don’t reveal emotions are out of touch with their emotions. You have to know them yourself to share them with other people.”

“To show no gratitude or no need for others…You might think that you make yourself look like Superman, able to do anything in a single bound.”

Right now you’re just an irresponsible writer who states whatever she likes online. Do more research so you can present a more valid article. Otherwise, I suggest that you do not assume the psychologist’s role that you’re not qualified for. As a supporter of objective feedback, you should have no problem taking
constructive criticism.

A note to the “psychologist” who posted before me Fisrt off… She DID quote a research study right at the top of the article.

Penelope writes about corporate America and how to thrive there, she doesn’t delve into any psychological insights that I can see, just smart, common sense that people who actually WORK in a large company can use.

I know, because I work for a large company and her sense of office politics is very saavy. Not that she has to defent herself… she has started three businesses not to mention numerous other ventures.

And as for your “constructive criticism” dare I say it was hardly constructive at all. You don’t attack someone’s character and call them immature and childish when you are being constructive.

Ed F, sure you’re not Mr. Penelope, one of her kids, or Penelope herself? You seemed a bit upset there, buddy. Like you yourself were offended or something.

I have to agree with Elena. Penelope doesnt have enough support. The research study that you pointed out only supports her claim about what type of people one prefers to work with. It gives no support to her 10 ways or other things that she wrote.

As for your corporate America, Penelope has reduced it to a corporate playground where middle school children fight for their popularity. If you feel offended here, you probably shouldnt go on http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/careerist/34834
because it aint too pretty over there.
And no, she doesn’t have to defend herself, her company went bankrupt.

I don’t think not revealing emotions at work will make people hate you. It may be true in some situations but it probably too much to hate someone just because they failed to show their emotions.

I’m kind of surprised at the negative reactions you’ve gotten here and on Yahoo, for this post. I think you’ve made a lot of good points that more people should take into consideration. To each his or her own I suppose…

Responsibility is a huge factor in our work. People who don’t take responsibility shows that they are not dependable, although it doesn’t apply to everyone because there could be other reasons why they don’t want to take responsibility.

Personality plays a huge part in how this new generation is perceived. I do not need a study to verify whom I enjoy and whom not. I work with a group of engineers and their perception of the world is different. Engineers, as a whole, are somewhat introverted and believe the world revolves around them. If I remember correctly, Scotty spent most of his time getting the sheilds up and making the Enterprise operate. His air time was usually via the intercom system from the belly of the ship. The decision making was left to The Capt and Spock. Find your niche that best suit your skills and be content if that does not put you on a CEO track. If you react negatively to this post, I suggest you take a hard look at how you are viewed by your peers. I enjoy this blog because it makes me think outside of my own experiences. That is what learning is all about.

Elena Williams and Mr. Aaron,

I’m not a psychologist, and you probably too.

The article is good. Tell me using your own statements, experience or another support, where Penelope was wrong?

I believe that:

- using sarcasm is not a proper tactics, this will sooner hurt the listener than will make him love you;

- not revealing emotions. Do you imagine a person saying yes or no in response, sitting in it’s corner quiet, without mimics all the time? It’s too suspicious, isn’t it?

- being bored by others. Do you like people telling you are boring writing your comments?
Or maybe you like people telling you’re irresponsible at your own blog? I don’t;

- irresponsibles. If one blames you here that this is your fault that Penny wrote the article the way you disliked?

- being obsessed. OK, I believe that you like people not paying attention to you!

Penelope, pls don’t pay attention to ungrounded blames, they are obsessed by their own ME, despite other readers praises, and let them read the Objective Feedback )