The art of playing the sex-kitten card at work

The current issue of Psychology Today asks: Are you too sexy for your job?

This article has good information about managing your image. Here are the nuggets I liked best:

1. Wear short, low-maintenance hair.
“Both sexes perceive women with long, straight, blond hair as being sexy and those who have short, highlighted hair as smart and confident, but not sexy. More hair equals more femininity but also less intelligence. Likewise, high-maintenance hair makes others suspicious about a woman’s competence.” (From Marianne LaFrance, psychologist at Yale University.)

2. Wear a little bit of makeup.
“Women who wear excessive makeup are seen as trying too hard. But both sexes rate women who forgo makeup as less committed to their jobs.” (From Sherry Myaysonave, author of Casual Power.)

3. Don’t dress like the guys.
“When male executives are asked what holds top women back in the workplace, appearing too masculine is always in the top five. Most men think women should be business-like, but should not try to join the club.” (From Debra Benton, author of How to Think Like a CEO.)

Comments (27)

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I think medium-long hair can be done right but it is certainly more difficult. It can’t be too flashy or trendy but you really can’t go ultra-conservative either. Short hair makes sense for a lot of reasons though but if it doesn’t work for you personally, you probably shouldn’t try it.
Posted by Your HR Guy on July 25, 2006 at 11:58 am | permalink |
I suspect it may be more nuanced than that, actually. For example, at my prior job, which was heavily male and technology dominant, the less a woman looked “feminine”, the more she was treated as a colleague. In general, the more a woman looked like a woman, the less comfortable they were around her. I am painting with broad strokes, but as a woman who likes to dress stylish (read not just jeans and tshirts like the males in that environment), who does wear makeup, and who wears her brunette hair just below the shoulder, well this was how it was for me.
Posted by bauhaus_sea on July 25, 2006 at 11:59 am | permalink |
Wish i had the choice…long or medium length hair
Posted by Gordon on November 9, 2006 at 10:04 am | permalink |
I think the sexier the better…Most REAL men LOVE to hang around women who look like women….What red-blooded male doesn’t want to hang around women who look and dress that way?
Posted by Robert on January 2, 2007 at 3:51 am | permalink |
To answer Robert: Those of us who have discovered that the “sexy” girl is just that, a sexy girl, not someone who can be counted on to get the job done right. Send her over to marketing where they all seem to be nothing more than booth bunnies, but keep her out of my IT department!
Posted by jrandom42 on January 9, 2008 at 5:48 pm | permalink |
- Misogynistic and offensive, jrandom! Shame on you for being so insensitive. Being beautiful and being smart are not mutually exclusive.
  Posted by p.random.1234 on August 26, 2009 at 2:56 pm | permalink |
  - If she’s trading on her sex appeal rather than her technical skills, it’s her own fault if I don’t take her abilities seriously.
    Posted by jrandom42 on November 19, 2009 at 11:19 am | permalink |
“Most men think women should be business-like, but should not try to join the club” What club? Can we please retire this tired phrase? It implies that women should stop trying to belong on an equal footing.
And what is business-like, if not looking as asexual and as little like an individual as possible? Trying to keep sexuality out of the office clearly has not worked so can we give up the act and be ourselves again? Wear your hair how you want. Lots of sterotypes reinforced in the comments here! Come on you guys, women with long hair are not as smart? really? Amazing.
Posted by Diana Maus on January 21, 2009 at 6:52 pm | permalink |
Hear, hear, Diana!
From the perspectives of being female and having had short and long blond hair….
I have no problem coming across as intelligent in the workplace, regardless of hair length. (FWIW, I wear conservative makeup and live in Florida.)
However… I’ve found it a little easier to get along with men in the workplace with longer blond hair and a slightly sexy image. Maybe it lowers their defenses — who knows?
Posted by Jen on January 23, 2009 at 5:45 pm | permalink |
The points you’ve mentioned are all simply true. Especially the third. I was working at a company few years back and that was one of the things women did there. Trying to join the club Your blog is really awesome Penelope. Keep it up.
Posted by Veterinarian on February 16, 2009 at 9:46 pm | permalink |
I really liked your blog!
Posted by skinny jeans on February 17, 2009 at 1:14 pm | permalink |
I have long, brown hair and I have never dressed masculine, but I’m not perceived as unintelligent, I have recently got a new job over plenty of men in business development and am already on track for a pay rise!!! I think your just looking at the stereotypes of women and not the reality!!
Posted by Ellie on March 17, 2009 at 4:47 am | permalink |
- Ellie, you mean to say “I think YOU’RE just looking at the stereotypes of women…”? Yeah, spelling counts when trying to be perceived as intelligent!!!
  Posted by The translator on April 8, 2009 at 9:50 pm | permalink |
Interesting article indeed. In my earlier job being the sex kitten type got me lots of things done in less trouble. Certainly helpful at times. But you have to make sure you done over do it.
Posted by Lap dancing jobs on July 25, 2009 at 11:18 pm | permalink |
True, it can definitely get you up the ladder, whether you are enjoying it in the process is all up to you But I guess it is always good to be prepared!!
Posted by LMS on August 7, 2009 at 9:39 am | permalink |
3.Don’t Dress Like The Guys
lol that’s a loss for the lesbians (well some of them)
Posted by Jeffrey on October 12, 2009 at 8:33 pm | permalink |
that’s extremely true. all 3 points are correct.
Posted by nick on October 26, 2009 at 2:30 pm | permalink |
The points you’ve mentioned are all simply true. Especially the third. I was working at a company few years back and that was one of the things women did there.
Posted by ISO 9001 Accreditation on December 14, 2009 at 3:48 am | permalink |
I love making these! When I was growing up my brother and I would help my gma and gpa decorate their tree every year. We'd listen to Christmas Music, make dinner, and do a craft. Usually the craft was orange and clove pomander balls. I still enjoy making them today and will continue the tradition with my kids when that day comes. They not only smell heavenly, but they always make me think of my grandma and grandpa.
Posted by matchmaker on January 17, 2010 at 3:32 am | permalink |
Interesting article indeed. Well this might work most of the time but you need to make sure you do not overdo it. If you do it can cause some trouble and people around you can come to really disturbing conclusions about you.
Posted by Laser Hair Removal Liverpool on February 26, 2010 at 6:58 am | permalink |
The fact that a man admits that a woman’s appearance is one of the main things that stops her from progressing her career, in spite of her competance, is frankly, pretty pathetic.
Posted by even-star on March 15, 2010 at 4:25 am | permalink |
Hi Penelope.
I sure need this piece of advice, more than anything else.
Most men think women should be business-like, but should not try to join the club.” (From Debra Benton, author of How to Think Like a CEO.)
Posted by Jonha on April 11, 2010 at 5:02 pm | permalink |
Right on ladies! Enough talk about this so called “club”. Women should be able to dress up the way they want at the office as long as it is not offensive. Men are able to do that, why not us? If men can dress up as if their pants will fall off any second, why do people make a big deal about long haired or short haired women. Women who dress up like men at work are afraid of their sexuality and men who are afraid of women who dress up as WOMEN are the same.
Posted by airsun on August 5, 2010 at 8:16 am | permalink |
I am A young women that is 5’4, has long blond hair and blue eyes. I have had lots interveiws with with both men and women. I have a degree in Buisness Management and working towards a degree in Teaching as well as Child Developement. I have been turned down after I’ve given many professional interveiws. I always dress professional and I have A wonderful resume. In all honesty, I believe that when A women is giving the interveiw she may feel intimidated,jealous and may feel like if she were to hire me then I would be unwanted competition. When A men gives the interveiw, I believe that he may have one or two problems. One, he may feel that if he were to hire me then I may not be smart enough or have good enough work habits. Secondly, he may not trust him self to have a attractive, intelligent women working with them. I feel that it is so wrong to judge people based so much on their appearance. I mean if a women comes in wearing a mini shirt and a blose that is see through or her breast are hanging out then, yes, maybe it is not a good idea to hire her. However, If A women comes in for an interveiw and she seems to have the education, experience and has great work habits then you should think twice about not hiring her. If she is dressed to sexy or flashy but does have an amazing resume, then Maybe it would be best to remind her of the office dress code and mention to her that she does have a great resume but is not properly dressed professionally as the company requires. Tell her that if she will be able and willing to change her appearance then you will be willing to consider hiring her. There is alot of pressure on women these days in the work force. A lot of women think that if they dress sexy then their chances of getting hired will be higher. Thats because in some cases thats the truth. I presonally have a problem with women thinking they have to dress in a sexy manner to get a job. I can’t say enough that if a women who dresses prfessionally and has the experience and all the right work habits she should be given a chance. I shouldn’t have to cut my long blond hair to my ears or change the color or even wear brown contacts. I shouldn’t have to change what god gave me, just to get a job. If an emploryer is going to be so judgemental then I truely feel like thats not the job or the right manager or boss that I want to work with anyway.
Posted by Jalani on January 15, 2011 at 6:31 pm | permalink |
Thanks Penelope! just found an interesting twist to the above post:
http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/ways-your-appearance-affects-your-paycheck-535945.html?tickers=^dji,^gspc,spy,dia
Posted by Phoenix on February 26, 2011 at 3:48 pm | permalink |
It’s just really depressing as a woman to think about all of the rules that could possibly confine me in the workplace, and none of them actually concerning the way I work. And this is double disturbing because being a Black woman, I don’t have blond hair or whatever. What happened to looking clean and well dressed in a normal manner and having good work experience?
Posted by Carolyn on April 19, 2011 at 10:27 pm | permalink |
this is one of the best reads I’ve had n a while, i will be sure to recommend this to a couple of people, great job
Posted by bird houses for sale on May 3, 2011 at 8:32 pm | permalink |