I was at the World Trade Center when it fell. I write about it every year on 9/11.
When I’ve kept a gratitude journal I’ve always had in the back of my head: this is not good, I need to add all my not-gratitude. But I have been able to see that the exercise of being grateful in one area of my life makes me more grateful in other areas.
So I decided to thank people I’ve had in my mind for a long time but never really thanked. One of those people was A., the woman I was working with on 9/11. Read more
Two months before the last day of my last kid at home, I stopped being able to write. For me, nothing feels like it really happened unless I write it down. So I thought: this must be documented. It’s the biggest moment of our life. Or his life. Or something. At least draw a picture.
I don’t always think in pictures, but I’ve been tutoring this girl who always thinks in pictures. I’m giving the girl confidence to say, “I’m a visual learner,” and she’s giving me the confidence to say, “I’m a writer who is drawing right now.”
People always say that kids grow up so fast. I think it’s because we are more likely to remember the special events than the things we did day in and day out. I’ve heard time starts going even faster as we age. It’s hard to imagine, but in that case, if I want to get something done in my life I need to do it urgently.
I’m also starting to think about accomplishments. I’ve had three startups exit. Brazen.com was acquired by Radancy. I didn’t make money. I sold my stock early to buy Z a cello. Someday I’ll write the story about how before I sold the stock, I did what I thought was my only other option: I accidentally stole a cello.
I am not even sure what all my accomplishments add up to. I think they are the result of me trying lots of things that add up to nothing. I think what really feels like an accomplishment is when I try something new and actually put out something. Showing people what I tried.
Here is my journal of the last two months before I took Z to college. I don’t know what my empty-nest life will be, but I hope I am still brave enough to invest a lot of time into things that don’t work.
While lurking in a Duke University discussion group I read that freshmen who have the most trouble adjusting are those who are delusional about being pre-med and those who never learned to write. The homeschooler in me finds a second wind: I tell Z we’re writing a paper every day until I drop him off at Duke. Read more
I’ve developed a survey to give to people who slipped me into their not-friend category. Since I’m a person with no ability to cope with nuance, answers to all questions are yes/no.
1. Were you ever my real friend? I want to know if you needed me like I needed you, but I don’t want to ask in person because it’s pathetic to have an uneven relationship. So please write yes or no so I can tell if the whole thing was doomed from the start.
Detail from Tar Beach by Faith Ringgold
I’m meditating now because it slows down time and I only have 14 more weeks until both my kids are at college. When Z is reading on the couch, and Nino is reading next to him, I pull up a chair and meditate with my eyes open because I don’t want to miss this moment. Read more
Z went to a Duke recruiting weekend where accepted kids can get a feel for the university. He hung out with some kids who decided to go to Harvard and Stanford, and a bunch of kids who decided on Duke. What was similar about all of them? They talked openly about having autism.
At lunch one kid said to Z, “Do you know you have autism?”
And Z said, “Yeah. Do you?”
And then a bunch of the kids at the table said they had it. That’s all. Then everyone moved on to another topic.
Kids are so far ahead of parents in how they think about autism. So I’ve been trying to focus my own research on what makes autistic people so special. Why are they overrepresented among top colleges, top earners, artistic success stories? Read more
From 1997 to 2012 just 1% of VC funded companies had female founders. Three of those companies were mine. People tell me it’s much better for women now, but statistically, this is BS. I raised money for a startup recently, and here’s what I found works best for female founders: Read more
Professional women’s basketball is a cesspool of mediocrity full of women gatekeeping so the sport can’t change. Fortunately, incoming rookie Caitlin Clark is worth more than the entire WNBA due to her sponsorships. This means that unlike other players, Clark doesn’t work for the WNBA she works for her sponsors and her fans. Read more
I had email FOMO. I could be making a million dollars a year from my subscriber list! I read email marketing advice like it was porn — people say it can happen but I don’t think it really does happen.
The worst criticism I’ve ever received from an editor is “it sounds like ChatGPT wrote this.” But as soon as Melissa told me that I thought: she’s right. Unfortunately, she said this about the post I wrote about my son getting into Duke. So I’m trying again because I need to tell you that he was homeschooled since first grade, and he had a traumatic brain injury in high school, and I’m completely thrilled for him that he got into his first-choice college. Read more