Penelope Trunk

Negotiating

You can reframe anything

Posted to: Entrepreneurship | Negotiating
June 6th, 2011
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Melissa is driving through Darlington trying to avoid the police. If they see me they’ll arrest me, and we know they know my car. I put the front seat back all the way so I’m out of view. I keep my seatbelt on because in case they see us, I don’t want to be breaking [...]

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6 Tips for better conflict resolution

Posted to: Negotiating
April 15th, 2010
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Coats are very important on the farm. Mine are always not dry enough, not warm enough, or not dirty enough for going into the chicken house. So when I’m on the farm I just wear one of the farmer’s coats.
1. Clarify personal needs that are threatened by the conflict.
And hats. Do you see the red [...]

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How to make yourself more likable

January 6th, 2010
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I am back with the farmer.
This probably is not surprising to you, because admittedly, it is absurd to be engaged one day and not engaged the next day. But there are exacerbating factors, and basically, the way I got him back was to be more likable.
I have spent most of my career overcoming my lack [...]

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Thanksgiving drama on steroids: Adding a family business to the mix

Posted to: Entrepreneurship | Money | Negotiating
November 25th, 2009
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I think its safe to say that for the majority of people, Thanksgiving is not about goodness and gratitude, but rather, family drama.
Until now, I have been pretty much on the outside of this American tradition: The tradition of building up Thanksgiving to be a great family moment and then the family not living up [...]

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How to find work with a flexible schedule

Posted to: Finding a career | Negotiating
August 4th, 2009
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Most of us think of a dream career as one that affords us flexibility for personal relationships and high engagement for personal growth. And while flexible work used to be limited to women, USA Today reports that increasingly, men, too, feel stress from the personal impact of inflexible work. So the question for everyone is: What's the best [...]

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How to shift between work and dating

Posted to: Negotiating | Self-management | Women
January 23rd, 2009
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Here is a map of where all the single men are:
http://creativeclass.typepad.com/thecreativityexchange/2007/04/the_singles_map.html
I do not live near any single men. Well, I sort of do. My divorce lawyer has set me up with a few men in my hometown, Madison, Wisconsin. He told me that I am too focused on my work life. I need to get [...]

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The entrepreneur's guide to a good divorce settlement

Posted to: Entrepreneurship | Negotiating
July 25th, 2008
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Here's what happens in every meeting I have with investors: They ask about my divorce.
Many people ask about my divorce. Usually it's because the person cares about me. But with the investors, there is no pretense. They just want to know if Nino is going to get a large percentage of my stock in the [...]

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5 Communication lessons learned in marriage counseling

Posted to: Negotiating | Office Politics
November 28th, 2007
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In case you are new to the drama that is my marriage, here is the post about our first day of counseling, which now has 171 comments. And here is the post where I blame my whole marriage on the institution of shared-care parenting, and also where I find out that the population of available [...]

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Try this: Don't ask for what you want when you negotiate

Posted to: Entrepreneurship | Negotiating | Women
August 27th, 2007
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When I founded my first company I didn't have time to find someone to date, but I knew that I wanted to get married. So I followed all the advice I had read about how you should tell people what you want in order to get what you want. I started telling everyone that I [...]

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Yahoo column: 7 Tricks for negotiating in business situations

Posted to: Negotiating
June 21st, 2007
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Your gender might matter most when it comes to negotiation — women just aren't as good at it as men. Part of the reason for this is that women are more hesitant to ask. But to be fair, women who negotiate competitively are judged negatively, whereas men aren't.
Another factor that has a huge impact on [...]

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How to negotiate when you have nothing to leverage

Posted to: Negotiating
June 18th, 2007
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You probably know by now that while I go by the name Penelope today, it didn't start out as my real name. It was a pen name. My editor at Time Warner gave it to me, and the first time I saw it was in a contract. It looked like a good place to start negotiating.
But [...]

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How to negotiate more effectively with anyone

Posted to: Negotiating
May 17th, 2007
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During my first job interview, my mom drove me to 31-Flavors while we practiced interview questions.
One question we did not practice was "How much money are you expecting?"
When the ice cream store owner asked, I said, "Well, my parents are cutting off my allowance for the summer so I'd like twenty dollars a week." That [...]

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Five steps for getting a raise

Posted to: Managing Up | Negotiating
April 5th, 2007
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More money is good, right? You're going to be doing your job anyway, so you might as well ask to get paid more for doing it.
But you actually have to do a lot of preparation in order to ask for a raise effectively. The most obvious preparation is to find out what everyone else is [...]

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Office politics is not optional: Five tips for doing it better

August 2nd, 2006
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John Annabel, of Northampton, walked into the office one day to find himself working side by side with a new employee whose only qualification seemed to be that she was having an affair with Annabel’s department head. Annabel says people didn’t particularly care that she was in the office doing no work until she started [...]

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Upbeat news about flextime requests

July 24th, 2006
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The best thing you can do if you want a flexible schedule is ask for it. Younger workers are finding more and more success when they ask, which should give everyone encouragement to request flextime if they want it.
Laurie Young is a founder of Flexible Resources, a company that specializes in finding flextime jobs for [...]

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How to get a raise

Posted to: Management | Managing Up | Money | Negotiating
July 18th, 2006
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You do not deserve a raise just because you have been doing your job well for x amount of months. It is your job to do your job well. That's why you were hired.
Also, do not complain about your salary not being at market rate six months after you take your job. Because if you [...]

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When it comes to office politics, consider the sibling factor

July 7th, 2006
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Time magazine's cover story is How Your Siblings Make You Who You Are. There are a few good tidbits about how your sibling experience affects how you are at work.
Adult life is made up of relationships – at work, in marriage, among friends — and we learn the skills for these relationships through siblings because [...]

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Take your pet to work day

June 23rd, 2006
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Today is take your pet to work day. In New York City, pet owners are carrying around doctor's notes that say their dog is a medical necessity — as in the psychological benefits of dogs — so that store owners legally have to let the dogs come in. I can see that doing this at [...]

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The time is right to ask for perks

Posted to: Negotiating
May 10th, 2006
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The deluge of press about the difficulty of attracting and keeping Generation Y employees is amazing.
Here's an example of a press release pandering to the media infatuation with the topic. Even the sheep are suffering : "Fewer and fewer people are choosing the sheep and beef industry as a career. There are huge job choices [...]

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Getting a promotion is so last century

March 13th, 2006
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Can we all just stop talking about promotions like they matter? A promotion has meaning when someone is moving up the corporate ladder at such a slow pace that every small step is grounds for celebration.
But there are no more ladders because no one stays long enough at a company to get up the whole [...]

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