Amanda is a white-girl rapper, darling of the hipsters, and hot-girl candy for the intelligentsia. Right up my alley, right? My favorite line so far is "My rhymes are painful and fresh/My p*ssy's tastin' the best."

Today, Ryan Healy and I were in D.C. for a marathon strategy meeting with a board member. The second half of the meeting was about marketing strategy. The first half of the meeting was about finding a strategy for ending how Ryan and I are at each others' throats over subjects that having nothing to do with the company.

When the board member left the room for a minute, we had this conversation:

Me: It's so awkward to be left in here with just you.

Ryan: It's not awkward. The meeting is going well.

Me: Right. It could be more awkward. Like when it was us not talking in the airport.

Ryan: At least we weren't sitting together on the plane.

Me: Yeah. I know. I changed my seat so we didn't sit together.

Ryan: Really? So did I.

Then the board guy came back and I bitched about how a vendor we hired was doing no work, and how a year ago I told Ryan we should fire them and then Ryan told me to shut up and so I did.

Then board guy said some obvious things: Ryan should not tell me to shut up, I'm the CEO, and I should take decisive action faster.

Then we all talked more, and Ryan and I started getting along again. And we all plan the next twelve months of the company, getting excited about the community. This is how it always goes with us.

But the whole time, Amanda Blank is running through my head. Why does she say "My rhymes are painful and fresh?" Why are her rhymes painful? I ask myself this. And then I answer philosophical questions about why LinkedIn appeals more to Gen X than Gen Y. And then I go back to Amanda.

She says, "My p*ssy's tastin' the best."

I have never said that. I am too shy. Even when I was her age, and I was running around in a bikini in Budweiser ads for spending cash, I would not have said that.

And this is why her rhymes are painful. Because they exude so much self-confidence. And every regret I can think of is about self-confidence.

There's a really interesting study from Harvard, reported in the Atlantic, that I have spent way too much time reading.

The study follows Harvard students for more than 70 years to determine what makes people happy. Here is something: The fact that people are totally pulled together and focused and in Harvard has no bearing on whether they'll have a happy life.

Here's another thing: There best indicator of if someone will be happy in the future is if you are 47 and close to your siblings. After I read that, I started calling my brothers more often. Really.

But you don't have to wait for your mid-forties to find out if you'll be happy.
Look at how you frame your life now. If you frame things in a positive light, you'll be happier later in life. The optimists win. Plus, the Harvard study finds that people get better at optimism as they grow older. And I believe that. Maybe when I have a startup at 70, I will trust myself enough to act decisively and avoid all management conflicts.

And then this becomes clear to me: I have spent way too much time in my life worrying that I was doing my life wrong. But now I see that I can change. Right now. Right now I can be someone who assumes I am making good decisions. Because we each have to make decisions. So we may as well assume they are good. There's not really anything else to do.

Besides, no one was ever penalized for believing in herself, even if her raps were not safe for work.

Comment on: Lessons in self-confidence (from Amanda Blank)

My favorite research on this topic is from John Mirowsky, professor of sociology at University of Texas, Austin.

Mirowsky finds that people who work are happier than people who don't because people who are employed spend more of their time being creative. This was true regardless of age and race and the amount of creativity that a given job had.

He concludes that people make choices to be more creative if they are gainfully employed. But also that we have more control than we realize over how creative we make our worklife. He says, "One thing that surprised us was that the daily activities of employed persons are more creative than those of non-employed persons of the same sex, age and level of education."

How can you tell if you are creative at work? You could just ask yourself if you like your job. It is nearly impossible to like a job if you are not solving problems that are challenging. And if you are doing that, well, that is creative.

For a more scientific gauge, you can look at your cell phone call log. If you routinely call your friends from work, you're probably not happy at work, according to research from Nathan Eagle, at the Santa Fe Institute.

Here are five ways to make a job more creative. And if you want to be good at managing creative people tell these tips to everyone who reports to you:

1. Change your mindset. So much of solving our own problems is fixing our outlook. Bad situations breed creativity, but only if you feel responsible for fixing your own problems. So stop blaming your job or your boss or your work, and start looking to yourself to make your life more creative.

Also, you should know that it's as misguided to divide the world into creative and non-creative jobs as it is to divide the world into creative and non-creative people. All jobs have opportunities for creativity. Some have more and some have less, but you usually get more opportunities to be creative by demonstrating that you are a creative problem solver over and over again.

This usually means solving problems no one asks you to solve. That's right: Creativity at work is often about finding your own work, finding and solving your own problems. So most of you should blame yourself, not your job, for lack of creativity in your work.

2. Change your response to stress. We tend to respond to stress with routine responses – almost all of them bad for us in some way. Natalie Angier writes in the New York Times about our predisposed type of response to stress: “Regions of the brain associated with executive decision-making and goal-directed behaviors had shriveled, while, conversely, brain sectors linked to habit formation had bloomed…Rodents were cognitively predisposed to keep doing the same things over and over, to run laps in the same dead-ended rat race rather than seek a pipeline to greener sewers." So when you have stress, try a new response and see what happens. No job prevents you from doing that.

3. Change the pace of what you do. John Freeman points out in the Wall Street Journal that changing the pace changes what it's like to do that task. You know this intuitively from dancing or sex. But it's also true of workplace tasks like writing email or cleaning our desk—both of which we often do quickly with no examination of whether or not that is a good pace for that task.

4. Try job hopping. This is a way to change your level of creativity on a larger scale. A big reason that job hopping helps your career is that people who job hop are more engaged in their work. Mirowsky explains this further: "People with a wide variety of jobs manage to find ways to make them creative."

5. Get in a long-term, intimate relationship. Be careful putting too much burden on a job. You need to be creative in order to feel fulfilled, yes. But there are infinite ways to be creative, and they don't necessarily have to relate to your job. Which is why the connection between a job and happiness is totally overrated. Intimate, long-term, intimate relationships matter most – and, not surprisingly, the act of putting two lives into one life requires creativity, always.

(Hat tip: Emily, Caitlin and Jay)

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So it’s a safe bet that once you peg a trait in a generation, it likely won’t change much over time. But it could play out in interesting ways over time. Here are some ways that the traits of Generation Z might play out in the workforce of the future.

Generation Z will not be team players.
We know from Strauss and Howe that as generations cycle, the team generations (such as gen y) are usually followed by individualist generations. So it is not surprising to see trends that the same thing will happen over the next decade.
Gen Y are great team players.  In fact, they are so team oriented that they often feel that nothing is getting accomplished at work unless there has been a team meeting about it.

But they are not likely to teach the value to their kids. In typical parent fashion, parents stress what they are lacking so that their kids don’t lack it. This is why, for example, first generation immigrants often do not teach their native tongue to their American kids.

One way to read this trend is with baby naming. Gen Y is naming their kids eccentrically.  Throughout history, most people have had common names, and common names help people to fit in and be part of a group. Uncommon names make people feel different and encourage them to think of themselves more as individuals.

(For those of you who doubt the power of naming, check this out: If your name begins with a K you will strike out more often in baseball. If your name begins with a letter toward the end of the alphabet you could be economically penalized.)

Generation Z will be more self-directed.
One of the failings of the helicopter parent generation is that kids had parents telling them what to do all the time. And Gen Y is known for being good kids: rule-followers, close to their parents, very good students.

Which means they are terrible at figuring out what they want to do at any given time. No one taught them. Gen X, on the other hand, was left to their own devices at an early age and is very self-directed. (So self-directed that they are basically unmanageable, but that’s another story.) For Gen Y, the quarterlife crisis is not figuring out what you like or dislike by the time you’re 30.

This will probably not happen to the next generation, because parenting is less focused (via Dr. Eades), which means self-discovery is more prominent in childhood.  In an article in the New York Times magazine, Lisa Belkin explores the trend that parents are no longer spending tons of time and money dragging their kids to classes and specialists and guides to the world of overachievers. Parents are hanging out at home instead. And so are the kids. And everyone is learning about self-discovery. Because what else do you do with a chunk of unstructured time?

Generation Z will process information at lightning speed.
So much of the workplace today is about processing information. And the information sector will grow at twice the rate as all other jobs .  We see that the more native one is to Internet technology, the better one is at processing information.  We can spend time lamenting the fact that people don’t write essay-long memos by hand, and people don’t sit at their desks uninterrupted for eight hours a day. But what is the point of the lament? It won’t change. Successful leaders of the next generation will move past the lament, to watching how people adapt to the change and leveraging that happens in the workplace.

Besides, the next generation will be so good at processing information that they will open doors we can only knock on today.

Sam Anderson writes in New York magazine that, “The brain is designed to change based on experience, a feature called neuroplasticity. London taxi drivers, for instance, have enlarged hippocampi, a neural reward for paying attention to the tangle of the city’s streets. As we become more skilled at the 21st-century task [of moving through bits of information quickly] the wiring of the brain will inevitably change to deal more efficiently with more information. Neuroscientist Gary Small speculates that the human brain might be changing faster today than it has since the prehistoric discovery of tools."

It’s not surprising, then, that when Matthew Robson, a fifteen-year-old Morgan Stanley intern, analyzed his generation, the report he generated is basically a summary of how his generation collects and processes information. This ability will be the defining feature of his generation.

Generation Z will be smarter.
Generation Y is the most educated generation in US history. By far. It’s not just that they have access to more information and teaching. But also, they did way more homework than any of their predecessors (which, by the way, is thought to be maybe damaging, and another reason that Gen Y is no good at self-direction.)

But the next generation could be even smarter, thanks to neuro-enhancers. Today kids experiment with ADHD medications to use in off-label ways, mostly to be more focused on getting more homework done, so they can have time to party at school.

But today’s off-label users are mostly smart, rich, at-a-great-college kids who will have wild success in life anyway. And the downside to neuro-enhancers—squashed creativity—hits these kids too hard to keep up the habit.

Another approach would be to give less privileged kids access to neuro-enhancers. Scientists and sociologists surmise that this would actually be a socioeconomic leveling mechanism that we have not been able to achieve with education.

Margaret  Talbot wrote in the New Yorker that a “pretty clear trend across the studies say neuro-enhancers will be less helpful for people who score above average” and cognitive enhancing pills could actually become levelers, if they are dispensed cheaply. And Talbot quotes The British Medical Association as declaring: “Universal access to enhancing interventions would bring up the base-line of cognitive ability, which is generally seen to be a good thing.”

How does this affect the workplace? A wider range of people can do cognitively challenging jobs. And, if you think Gen Y is obnoxious about being better at processing information than the older people, think how Gen Y will feel when the next generation tells them their IQ is much higher. And they’re right. Gen Y will be getting on the Adderall bandwagon to stay competitive the way Baby Boomers today get on Facebook.

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How can you tell if a member of Gen Y hates his or her boss?
You can’t. This is a non-confrontational generation. They change politics by voting, not screaming in the streets. And they change the workplace by quitting, rather than complaining. This is a generation that enjoyed mutual respect with their parents and their parents’ friends. Gen Y at large feel uncomfortable being openly confrontational than other, less cared-for generations.

This doesn’t mean that they are not complaining about their bosses. They are just doing it in a better way. For example, quitting, which members of Gen Y end up doing about once every 18 months. And leaking totally insane emails like the one that was picked up on Dealbreaker and Valleywag, from John Soden, a managing director at the investment bank, Thomas Weisel, who said this to his underlings on Good Friday:

"Everyone below the MD level –

"We are an investment bank. Unless you are an orthodox something, please get into the office. We are getting paid minimum wage for a reason — we are not making money, which is hard to do from home.

"Join Wells Fargo and become a teller if you want to take bank holidays."

Why does Gen Y feel so entitled to a huge salary?
They don’t. In fact, they choose other things over salary: respect for other people, for example. Employers: You could save money in salaries by being a socially responsible company that Gen Y (and the rest of us) want to work for.

If you are at the top of the ladder, lack of respect for other people looks obnoxious—I mean, why give up the best years of your life climbing the ladder if you are not giving equal respect up and down the ladder. Right?

Gen Y feels an acute sense of social justice. That we are all equal. You can see this in the general democracy online, for example. Nielsen reports that Gen Y cares more about the content of a comment than the qualifications of the person who said it. And in a stunning video on YouTube, Senator Mike Gronstal of Iowa said that when it comes to giving gays the right to marry, his daughter listened to a bunch of conservative old men at work debating gay marriage and told her dad, “Those guys don't understand. They already lost. My generation doesn't care.”

This is true at work, too. So it makes sense that after the email leak, some enterprising young banker took up the Twitter name johnsodentwp and started pretending to be him. The gist of the jokes? Intolerance. And how absurd it is. Here’s an example of a twitter:

"Just found out you can be Jewish orthodox as well as Christian orthodox—is there anything those people haven't got their hands on?"

Does all this Gen Y stuff apply to other countries as well?
No. Because Gen Y doesn’t divide the world into us and them. It’s one world to Gen Y because the Internet has been practically all-their-life. If you are blogging at 2am in Minneapolis, the first person to read the post will probably be in Australia. Or Singapore. And if you are looking for photos of mountains, you might find the best ones on a Flickr feed from Tibet. The Internet is inherently collaborative, so national boundaries give way to national mashups.

For example, tweeting all day as John Soden is too much work for one person who already has a job. So there are five people maintaining the Twitter feed, who are working in Hong Kong, Brazil, England, and the US.

Given the international nature of the group, it’s not surprising that they come up with tweets like this one:

"Some of my foreign staff sometimes revert to their native tongue. How rude. People are selfish."

How is Gen Y so entrepreneurial when they have no business experience?
Did you hear about the contest between Ashton Kutcher and CNN? The winner is the one who can get to a million twitter followers first. As incentive for people to follow, whoever wins will buy 10,000 mosquito nets for World Malaria Day.

Here’s the problem: CNN did not actually take the twitter feed titled "CNN", and people were following that feed instead of the real CNN feed, which was some inscrutable version of CNN with some extra letters. So CNN ended up having to buy the CNN name on Twitter.

And if you doubt the entrepreneurial savvy of Gen Y, watch to see what John Soden has to pay to get the twitter feed with his name on it under his control.

Comment on: 4 Frequent questions about Gen Y answered (via a PR disaster)

Your job as a manager is to make sure your employees are growing and learning and enjoying their time at work. Bringing them to a meeting without an agenda is wasting their time, and that is disrespectful. A meeting without an agenda is like saying, "My time is so much more important than yours that instead of taking time to prepare, I'm going to figure out what we're doing in real-time, and you will sit here and watch me."

So the first rule, and probably the only rule of management, is to be respectful. A lot of questions I get from managers can be answered the same way: ask yourself if you are really being respectful.

Example:

Manager: My employees are totally unmotivated. What can I do?

Me: Do you give them work that respects their intelligence or is the work you give them crappy?

Manager: There's nothing I can do. Someone has to do the low level work.

Me: People are much more motivated to do totally boring work (as a favor to you) if they feel respected by you in other ways. So give them good mentoring and pay attention to building their skills. In return, they will want to help you, even if it means sending 400 faxes.

I receive lots of email from people who have just become managers but who are still figuring out what their new role really means. One of my favorites comes from Kristy, in Canada:

I got promoted to being a manager last year. . . .. I have really struggled with trying to teach others, because coming from a background of life really being about myself, my own learning, and satisfying my own personal growth, making the switch to feeling like to have to now do that for others almost feels like you are giving something of yourself away. It has only been in the past few months that I have really come recognize that providing others with the opportunities that I have been given actually feels good. . . and that I am still growing, just in a different way.

Kristy admits what most people won't: that management requires giving so much of yourself that it's disconcerting. Most people who are new managers just sort of disappear. They pop out of their office from time to time to tell people they are doing stuff wrong, or to let people know about new goals or new procedures. But that is not managing. That is being a human memo. A piece of paper could be that kind of manager.

Real managing is about growth and caring. It's about taking time to see what skills people need to develop to move in the direction they want to move, and then helping them get those skills. This means that you need to sit with the person and find out what matters to them. And then you need to sit with yourself and figure out how you can help the person. Most people don't see management as listening and thinking, but that's what it is. Because that's what caring about someone looks like.

A good manager pops up all the time, just to check in. Not because you are micromanaging and you don't trust anyone around you. But because you can't know how to help people if you don't know how they are doing. And take time to chat when things are going fine, because that's when it's clear that you're just talking because you care as much about the person as the work they're doing.

Once you get to the point where you are connecting with the people you manage, and you are helping them get what they want from their job, you are in a position to change the world. Really.

I had a big moment in my own career as a manager when I realized that I could change the world, in a small way, just by being more open-minded and generous to the people around me. I was a very young manager, and found myself interviewing people much older than I was. Seeing those people from the point of view of my mom, who was working for someone my age, made me change how I approached my job as a manager. And I know that people today are trying to do this as well, because this post is four years old, and it was one of the most popular on my blog last month.

All this reminds me of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. As a psychologist, he developed a theory to describe the path people take to address first their core needs, and then eventually to achieve their ultimate need for a life of self-actualization:

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

1. Physiological – food, water, sleep

2. Safety – security of body, health, resources

3. Love and belonging – family, friends, sexual intimacy

4. Esteem – self-confidence, respect of others, respect by others

5. Self-actualization – morality, creativity, problem solving

I think this pyramid applies to work as well. You start off just making sure you can get a job, and you figure out, eventually, how to use your job to make the world a better place.

Pseudo-Maslow Hierarchy of Job Needs

1. Physiological – Take care of keeping yourself fed and clothed.

2. Safety – Work on feeling secure that you can keep yourself employed, if something happens.

3. Love and belonging – Figure out how to get a job that respects your personal life.

4. Esteem – perform well at your job because you have the resources and the security to do so

5. Self-actualization – help other people reach their potential through creative and moral problem solving

So really, management is an opportunity to self-actualize. Some people will self-actualize by being artists, or writing code. Some people will self-actualize through management. Some, a combination.

But the point here is that being in management is an opportunity to grow spiritually and give back to the world in a way that is enormously fulfilling. If you allow it. You will need to set aside real time to make this happen. And you need to give generously. No big surprise there, though, because why else are we here, on this planet, except to give to each other?

Comment on: How to be a good manager: Be generous

There is lots of chatter about how resumes are on their way out. There will be blogs, and videos, and LinkedIn profiles and other mechanisms to downplay the concept of a linear career and put upfront the way someone thinks and the ideas he or she has. There should be similar chatter about the near-death of the job listing.

Lately I've been doing a lot of consulting to companies about how to recruit and retain employees. So I've been thinking a lot about the topic, and here are five of my favorite ways companies can hire people without focusing on the job listing itself.

1. Tell people where they'll go next.
Michael Arrington, co-editor of the popular blog TechCrunch, just lost his right-hand man. What did he do? He wrote a very public thank you for good work done – so that people know how appreciative he is. And he wrote a little side note about how everyone who has left TechCrunch has gone on to amazing jobs.

I was talking with Dylan Tweney, senior editor at Wired, and he was using a similar hiring tactic, showing people how a stint with him at Wired is a stepping stone to places like The New York Times and Wall Street Journal.

2. Use your public relations team to prop up the manager.
One of the most important aspects of a job is who you are working for. A good manager can help you to get where you want to go next, and a bad manager can be so undermining that the job becomes a blemish on your resume. So it's odd that companies advertise jobs instead of managers. Instead of publishing a laundry list of dream traits of a dream candidate (usually unreasonable anyway), companies should list the dream traits of the dream manager this job falls under.

3. Get some respect for speciality recruiters.
It used to be that companies owned the employee's loyalty. But today, with employees changing jobs every two or three years, they are more likely to be loyal to the recruiters who placed them than with the companies they work for. Especially when that recruiter is there to place the candidate again and again.

Art Papas knows a bit about recruiters. He is the chief executive of Bullhorn, which makes staffing and recruitment software. Bullhorn is a testament to the fact that both candidates and employers are relying increasingly on the recruiting industry for help. Bullhorn has more than 12,000 users and the company grew by 70 percent in the last year.

Most recruiters are running their own business in one way or another, and Papas points out why recruiters are poised to take on an increasingly important role in the employee-driven market: "Generally speaking, recruiters are high energy, good with people, and they are incredibly tenacious and persistent."

4. Advertise in niche communities.
Joel Spolsky is chief executive of a midsized firm, Fog Creek Software, and he spends a lot of time blogging, at Joel on Software. Spolsky makes it clear he's blogging to make himself part of a community of smart, curious, high-performing engineers who become Spolsky's employee pool.

Here's another example: Lots of companies talk about the importance of catching women re-entering the workforce after they have children, but it's hard to get those women. One way is to be a part of their communities. Websites that focus on women and careers like WorkIt Mom are places where you can become a part of the social fabric of the community you want to hire from.

Bonus idea: Make it part of someone's job description in your company to truly become part of the community, and swoop in to scoop up promising candidates for interviews. It's so tough to get A players to interview today that people are actually charging companies for an interview at Notchup.com. But coming from a trusted friend, an invitation to interview is hard to turn down, even if you're not looking.

5. Leverage social media.
Why don't companies use social media tools to attract candidates? It's already a proven recruiting method for young people.

The Center for Market Research at University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth reports that, "Colleges are adopting Internet technologies such as podcasts, message boards, blogs, and social networks faster than Fortune 500 companies. The explosion of social media, higher education specialists say, is revolutionizing the college search process and the way colleges and prospective students interact."

Standout Jobs is a new site that provides easy-to-use social media recruiting tools for small companies and then aggregates them into a sort of recruiting network. This is a great on-ramp for companies with trepidations about social media

Comment on: Memo to human resources: New ways to get great candidates

Yet even though we know this, most of us have trouble actually doing it. Many people think they're the exception to the rule — that delegating is important, but in their very unique, particular case, it's impossible.

Newsflash: It's never impossible to delegate — it's all in the mind of the delegator. Here are seven ways to get started on the road to all-star delegation:

1. Get over your perfectionist streak.
The key to delegating is recognizing that your ability to do things perfectly isn't as highly valued as you think it is. In fact, perfectionism isn't valuable in 80 percent of the work we do.

If you think you're the exception to this rule — which all perfectionists do — consider that perfectionism is so unhealthy that it's a risk factor for depression. This should make delegating come easier.

2. Decide what's most important.
In order to figure out what to delegate, you need to figure out what's most important to your career. This means you need to know what your specialty is, what you're known for in the office, and what your unique value is to the company. Anything that falls outside this isn't that important to you.

Once you understand this, delegating most things will be easier. They're nonessential to your career, so it's OK if you don't leave your particular mark on them.

3. Focus on helping people grow.
Your job is to help make people stars. Management is essentially an act of constant giving and constant patience. It entails giving people a little attention all the time instead of giving them lots of attention only when they mess up. In fact, if you're managing people effectively they don't mess up, because you play to their strengths and teach them how to move around their weaknesses.

Hands-off management isn't respectful — it's negligent. People want mentoring and guidance from their manager. If you give that in a way that helps them grow while also treating them with respect, they'll love having you around. And when your direct reports love having you around, they do their best work for you out of loyalty. Even younger workers — those notorious job-hoppers — are loyal to respectful, hands-on managers.

4. Give away your most interesting work.
If you think you're going to be able to dump your most mundane assignments onto the people who report to you, think again. After all, your job as a manager is to help people grow, so you're not actually doing your job if you're asking them to copy and collate all day long.

So consider keeping the grunt work for yourself sometimes. Your direct reports will appreciate it, and it'll probably give you more empathy in general since you'll have an idea of how soul-crushing mindless work can be.

The real upside to this, though, is that the people you delegate to stay more engaged in the work they're doing. So if you pitch in on the small, stupid tasks, you get good results on the large, important ones.

Read the rest at Yahoo Finance.

Comment on: Yahoo column: 7 Ways to be a better delegator

Here are five things you should never say or do around any young workers who you want to keep around:

"Put your iPod away."
Want to see your young workers jet to a new company after a few months? Tell them they aren't allowed to listen to their I-Pods in the office. I feel naked without mine. I work out with it, walk with it, attach it to my car stereo and listen to it when I'm working or writing. An old supervisor once told me to put away my I-Pod. I did. Until he left the room!

We all see the stories about small startups and Google's working environments. These companies are the gold standard for twentysomethings. Employees wear jeans and T-shirts and work from rainbow colored bean bag chairs. If the office I'm at doesn't even let me listen to an i-Pod, they are obviously behind the times. Who wants to work for a boring, outdated company?

"Pay your dues."
I understand the logic behind this way of thinking. There's certainly something to be said for putting in your time and learning the ropes before jumping into a management position, but watch your wording.

Ryan Geist once put it this way: "Don't tell me to pay my dues. Tell me to sell myself."

The point is, youngsters are not stupid. We know a few years of grunt work is to be expected, but we don't like to think of it as "paying dues." Young workers will respond better if you say something like, "develop your skill set" or " build your brand." These are two positive ways to imply the same message. "Paying your dues" is not entirely false, but its significance gets lost in translation. It screams negativity. .

"Don't you wish we were on vacation all the time?"
No, actually I don't wish I was on vacation all the time. I plan to accomplish many things in my short time on this planet. Getting a great tan on a life long vacation is right above swimming with sharks on my to-do list.

If a manager that I plan to replace one day said this to me, I would have more than a few second thoughts. Desiring to be on vacation all the time implies that you don't like your job and you have little ambition. I don't want to work for a company that doesn't keep their employees happy, and I don't want to work for a manager who has no aspirations.

"Before I was at the top of the food chain…"
This is my all time favorite. Please do not talk about your days as a low-level cog in the corporate machine. For one thing, those days are now my reality. It's not necessary to remind me about the late nights and crummy hotels you were stuck in.

But also, I know you're the boss. I do not need to be reminded. I have seen the corporate reporting structure, and unless you're the CEO, you're not at the top of the food chain. If a manager needs to talk about their status as "the boss," this gives the impression that the company is apprehensive about status and titles. Young people really don't care about titles. My goal is not the corner office and I'm not awestruck by a high profile executive. We're all people.

"I wasted a huge part of my youth doing what you are doing."
Yes, somebody actually said this to me.

Ryan Healy's blog is Employee Evolution.

Comment on: Twentysomething: Memo to managers to watch your mouth!

I don't buy it. We grew up with open source websites like Napster and Kazaa. Now we use Wikipedia and Craigslist daily. All of these sites have one thing in common; users control them. I don't need permission to post an apartment for rent on Craigslist and I can make up any word I want and create a definition in Wikipedia.

Now there is undeniable proof that Gen-Y is bringing decentralized organizations mainstream…

After turning down $1 billion, 23 year-old Mark Zuckerberg took the user controlled Facebook to a whole new level by allowing everyone to create applications without pre-approval. If you really think about it, Facebook allows anyone to work for them without the hassle of reporting up the ladder, attending pointless meetings or even leaving their living rooms. With a good idea, a little programming knowledge and a small amount of money, anyone can make money through Facebook while simultaneously increasing the company's bottom line.

Facebook's revolutionary new concept is just a glimpse into the all inclusive, non-hierarchical, "out of the box" future that generation-Y will continue to invent and embrace. My friend and web designer, Devin Reams reaffirmed this thought when he told me about his experience at Startup Weekend.

The event began on a Friday, when 70 people showed up above a bike shop in Boulder, CO to vote on their favorite previously submitted business ideas. They decided to create a business that allowed people to take quick polls of their friends' opinions.

"We broke into groups based on 'expertise': business development, PR/marketing, user experience, design, front end development, back end development, and legal. The groups allowed for quick action," says Devin. "We had seven-minute update meetings every hour and the each hour flew by. On Sunday night we had a business model, website, and marketing campaigns ready to go for a product launch."

The company was successfully started but no product had launched to the public. "This was frustrating," says Devin, "since the world was every move on live video from Ustream. But, the project has continued beyond the weekend and a launch is expected next week. We've been playing with it internally and it's amazing what a decentralized group can accomplish."

After this amazing weekend, the group ended up with a "fast polling" website called Vosnap. The site allows you to send out a quick poll to friends via email or text messaging. For example, if a bunch of friends want to meet up for lunch, but all work in different places, they can send out a poll and meet at the restaurant that receives the most votes. Sounds pretty cool to me!

Sure, Andrew Hyde is technically the "CEO," but he doesn't have to approve everything, and the majority can vote him out at any time. This is strangely similar to Wikipedia's structure of open source use based on a community of trust, rather than checks and balances. Can you imagine a typical company trying to agree on a product, design a website, create marketing campaigns, and draft contracts and legal arrangements in three days? It would take me three weeks to jump through the bureaucratic hoops just to pitch an idea to the person in charge. On a weekend; forget about it.

When you put a group of talented, motivated young people together for three days without bosses, titles or egos, things seem to magically run very smoothly. Watching Facebook evolve and hearing stories like Devin's excite me. They are proof that young people are not only motivated and capable of working together, but they show that we don't have to adapt to the status quo of the corporate world to succeed. Hopefully big business starts taking a few lessons from these progressive young leaders.

Ryan Healy's blog is Employee Evolution.

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Deloitte has a program that offers free, confidential career counseling to all employees. The counselors can talk on any topic (including how to get out of Deloitte).  So I asked, "What do the older employees talk to a coach about?" And program founder Stan Smith, told me, "A lot of them use the career coach to ask what do I do about these kids?"

It's clear this cuts both ways, too. Generation Y is not an insolent bunch. They have been treated well by older people their whole lives. They follow rules, and respect their parents. Young people are looking for ways to work well with management — ways that won't crush their dreams.

On an individual basis this comes down to problem solving and negotiation. Working with someone is actually a series of hundreds of small negotiations. If you do them well, things go smoothly and all issues are small. If you mishandle negotiations, problems grow, and road blocks pop up.

What Alexandra can do is help you troubleshoot problem areas in your work life that are a result of generational differences. It's a skill to learn, and you can use it over and over again. You can also use Alexandra to blow off steam. Deloitte finds that you will do better work if you have a person like this in your life as a sounding board.

This week you can get 90 minutes free with Alexandra. You'll probably use it in 30 minute increments. Most of you can benefit from this. A place like Deloitte doesn't offer free coaching willy-nilly. They offer it because the idea of handling everything yourself is outdated; having someone to go to for a problem drastically improves your ability to succeed at work.

If you are having generational problems at work, send an email to me with three sentences about why you want to work with Alexandra, and she'll pick one of you to work with. Deadline is Sunday, July 15.

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