Work is a safe haven

Our cat has been peeing on everything. He especially likes the our bed sheets and my younger son's shirts.

Finally we took the cat to the vet and it turns out he had crystals in his bladder. I'm not going into the chemistry lesson of acid and base and crystals. Mostly because I couldn't follow the vet's explanation, but the bottom line was that we had to do medicine for three days and then special food.

For a while, the cat was well enough to follow Melissa around the house and cuddle in between the curl of her legs whenever she lay down.

The problem is we feed twenty barn cats. And two house cats. Three house cats if you count the outside cat that we can't keep outside. And four if you count the dog, who wont' stop eating the cat food.

So all the animals were eating the very expensive medical cat food, and before I could figure out what to do, the cat was peeing on everything again.

It turns out the cat cannot have any other food. So we would have to have only very expensive cat food, for all the cats, and every time the sick cat got table scraps, we'd have to get the crystal medicine again.

So we had to decide: Do we kill the cat because we don't want to buy expensive cat food?

No. That felt very bad.

So we waited a few days to try to figure things out.

Then the cat was in huge pain because he couldn't pee.

Now I felt I could put him to sleep for being in pain. A more clear cut decision.

The vet said if the cat can't pee he needs an operation. We watched him try to pee. He couldn't.

We sat the kids down and told them it was time for the cat to die.

We said goodbye to the cat. Who, by now, smelled a lot like I'd imagine something smells before death.

Melissa and I went to the vet while the kids and the Farmer dug a hole in our pet cemetery. (Does every family have one of these?)

The vet squashed the cat's belly and said, “We were able to clear the urinary tract and expel urine. So you just need to treat him with medicine and keep him on the special food.”

I looked at the cat. He was purring in the vet's arms.

I looked at Melissa. She was crying. “He's such a good cat,” she said.

It's true, he's a good cat. But we can't keep him on the special food. And we live in a part of the world where people shoot extra cats for fun — they don't adopt old cats with expensive dietary needs.

I asked the vet if she thought it was immoral.

The vet said, “I don't pass judgment.”

I put the cat to sleep.

Was it okay to put the cat to sleep? I don't know. But I'll tell you. It's why I like work so much better than real life.

In work things are clear cut. There is a goal, and you can measure which action gets you to the goal fastest. There are laws to tell you what you can do and what you can't do.

Here's a site that advertises online MBAs programs. They offered to pay me to link to them. Melissa said, “I don't know if you want to. You hate business school.”

It's true, I do think business school is lame. But so what? This is not an ethical issue. They are paying me.

Also, it's a great site. They have such a good marketing strategy: They create a great infographic that gives people a reason to link to them, and then they rank high on Google for the words Women in Business, and then they get referral money for getting women to pay for MBA programs.

I love this business. (And, based on how creative it is, I'm nearly certain that the person who thought of it does not have an MBA.)

Sometimes I think I want to be a stay-at-home mom. I want to just be with my kids. It's so nice to be with my kids. But kids and families are filled with difficult questions like, When can you kill your cat? It's so comforting to be able to wake up in the morning and answer the question: Who should I link to today?

 

 

195 replies
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  1. claudia
    claudia says:

    If you take on an animal, it becomes your responsibility to care for it, even when it becomes less than easy. Not just when it suits you. I don’t see how finding a way to feed this one cat a special food was so much of a hardship or a challenge that your only option was to put it down.

    What are you doing living on a farm? Even farm animals deserve to be treated humanely and responsibly. Family pets even more so. You have no business having any animals.

  2. Sinead
    Sinead says:

    So you put a dog to sleep because you wanted to know what you’re getting into before you get into it and you put a cat to sleep because you weren’t bothered to care for it. I’m sure the cat and the dog would have also wanted to know what they were getting into before they got into it.

    I ordered a copy of your book. Please refund the 25 dollars. I’d prefer to donate it to my local animal shelter.

  3. Sara Bliss
    Sara Bliss says:

    Ugh. How come you didnt find another home for your cat instead? Im really disturbed by this. Pets are not a responsibility one should take on only until its inconvenient. Furthermore, get your barn cats fixed. Im assuming they are not. There are people that do it for free, google it.

  4. Steve C
    Steve C says:

    At least you didn’t just drive like a hundred miles way and drop the cat off along a freeway. Probably 90% or more of the people out here would have gone that route(or worse, as you suggested). Your biggest problem is the barn cats. Barn(feral) cats turn into many more barn cats. I don’t think you should be feeding them at all. The more food they get, the more baby cats they make. I’m surprised the farmer has allowed this to get out of hand. He must have too many other things on his mind.

  5. Bobbi
    Bobbi says:

    I used to think wow this is one person who’s not afraid to stick to her convictions, no matter how controversial. In the end, your “moral compass” still points towards “$”. I was very impressed with your whole “humane” goat cheese scheme and I really thought it can take off. Now I realized that was merely to tap into the feelings of “foolish” people like me. It was merely a business decision for you. You saw an opportunity and you acted on it.

    True, animals are not humans. But please don’t masquerade your lazy choices as “oh this is such a tough, ethical problem…(that coincidentally would make a wonderful controversial post that will increase my blog traffic)”. You pride yourself on being a creative, innovative, ethical person and yet you took the easiest, cheapest way out.

    Good luck trying to explain your contradictory choices in life to your readers and children. I’m done with reading you.

  6. Jill
    Jill says:

    Penelope, I am so sorry that you had to make that decision. The only one who can say (pass judgment) on whether it was right or wrong, is you.

    Most of the people who condemn you here in the comments, do not understand farm life, and how it changes your view of how you treat animals.

    Now, having worked at a vet clinic for many years, if your cat did not need surgery this one time, he would have eventually. Our vets recommended the special food to clients also, but the truth is that it very rarely worked. And most definitely wouldn’t in a cat with access to other foods: regular cat food, regular dog food, the occasional mouse or bird, bits of cow/horse feed, etc. Sometimes a change to demineralized/deionized/distilled water works – but you can’t keep a cat from drinking other water on a farm.

    Again, I’m sorry for your loss.

  7. Paul Hassing
    Paul Hassing says:

    I wrote a post on ethics last week. I began the debate feeling snug (smug?) in my position. But by the time you and our other commenters were finished, I realised my ‘ethics’ were no more than personal instincts dressed up with a lofty title. So thank you for making me think deeper. Again. Best regards, P. :)

  8. MJ
    MJ says:

    This was an easily treatable condition. That’s the end of reading this blog for me. This sure shows up the hypocrisy of the “humane” goat cheese.

  9. jim
    jim says:

    My cat has never laid me off, cut my pay, or ordered me to work 75 hours a week on a project for six weeks, plus one 26-hour day, because he failed to plan it well.

    • Steve C
      Steve C says:

      Let’s hope that the reason Penelope posted this story is that she figured out, a little late, that what you just pointed out is what was really going on with putting the cat down.

  10. Stef
    Stef says:

    What you did was lame. More lame than business school, even. My cat had the same problem a year ago. He was in dire shape after we’d been out of town a week. After I figured out what was going on (I’d never even heard of this condition before) I rushed him to the vet who was able to drain his overfull bladder. He was kept there for a few days, then it was special food for him. I began doing research and started feeding my two cats a raw diet, which was great for them and much cheaper than the prescription kibble, but now I just feed them a better-quality wet food, for convenience. Each cat gets a 60-cent can of food a day. No biggie. Much cheaper than surprise vet bills, although still more expensive than killing the cats.

    It just seems like you took the lazy way out, and then rationalized your decision. The cat didn’t have to die. That’s why this is so lame. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-Aspergers, right?

  11. Joselle Palacios
    Joselle Palacios says:

    I am with AJ and other commenters who have expressed the same. I really find it hard to read this blog now filled with stories about how irresponsible you are with the animals in your home. If you were truly in financial dire straits, I would totally support your decision. And of course it is kind and ethical to euthanize our companion animals when they are suffering. But all you had to do for this cat is buy some food and be mildly creative with a feeding system (like, put the cat alone in a room with her food during feeding time). But, from the information you’ve shared here, it doesn’t seem that you’re struggling financial. And you didn’t even try to keep the food from the other animals.

    There is something so cold and reckless about the way you describe the treatment of your companion and farmed animals that is very foreign and disturbing to me. It’s disappointing to feel this way after years of reading and enjoying your blog and feeling a warmth about you and your writing. But the way I feel about animals is very central to my life and this blog has moved in a direction that doesn’t align with that.

  12. GingerR
    GingerR says:

    A fine argument in support of the “Americans with Disabilities Act.” The ends do not always justify the means.

  13. Steve C
    Steve C says:

    Work is a safe haven, till you end up on the business end of an economic decision like this one. You may have inadvertently pointed out this biggest problem with business, especially with big business: People making life-changing decisions with too little, or bad, information.

  14. terri
    terri says:

    Penelope, whatever decision you made was yours and not your readers to pass judgment on. That’s my opinion and I’m an MBA.

  15. Jude Bloom
    Jude Bloom says:

    I retract my previous (smug) comment. As Penelope points out in the comments, I too did not get on first reading that the problem was not feeding the cat; it was keeping the cat from feeding around the farm.

    I am curious though why so many delineate paychecks, non-human animals, etc. from the realm of the ethical. This isn’t for readers to pass judgment on? Why not? A paycheck’s a paycheck and doesn’t have anything to do with ethics? OK – why? How does that work?

  16. Sharon
    Sharon says:

    The bigger issue here is the lame link you made between the sick cat ordeal and career advice. Life is so complicated and work is a safe haven…please! Have you ever had to fire someone? Someone who had no chance of getting a similar position ever again? Someone who has children to feed and a mortgage to pay? Someone who costs more than they’ll ever contribute? That’s no safe haven.

  17. Sandy
    Sandy says:

    Well again there’s a fairly straight forward operation for male cats with this condition. I don’t think there was much of a thought process around options here. If containment was the issue then the operation was an alternative. Or trying to find a foster home. This cat was a pet and not a farm animal being raised for market. I think the decision making process here was very poor.

    • GingerR
      GingerR says:

      If you get to where doing something like firing someone doesn’t cause you to pause and consider the consquences to their life I think it’s time to look hard at yourself.

  18. Rebecca
    Rebecca says:

    On the one hand I’m hesitant to judge…As an adult I made the excruciating decision to let our 18 year old cat and later our 15 year old dog go peacefully, to avoid extreme suffering when illness and age became too much. And then there was my childhood dog, the decision not mine but I saw how my mother agonized. We weren’t exactly rolling around in money, but damn we did everything to keep our furry babies happy well into their old age, as you would any family member. Waking in the night to care for old animals, medical procedures, surgeries, expensive medication, special food, even dog acupuncture. So, I’m going to go with the other hand and judge you negatively. I understand that you had the thought to do it, that it would be easier, less expensive when there are many important things to spend money on. I do understand the thought. But in my opinion you should have tried harder to find a better solution. If you let the cat go because it was more emotional turmoil than you could handle, I’d forgive you that, but it seems like it was merely a matter of convenience. There are so many things that go into the decision to let a pet go, it is complicated. But in my opinion what you did was pretty gross, really. I don’t think I can read your blog again without thinking about it.

    I guess what I’m really thinking of is this: When my cat was 17 and a half, he fell off the counter and started walking in circles, dragging one leg. I could tell he’d suddenly gone blind as well. I didn’t need a vet to tell me he had a stroke. I sat with him all night long, calming him and trying to figure out what I was going to do, crying. In the morning when my son woke up, I kept him out of school and said we were going to spend time saying goodbye, feeding the cat tuna and letting him sniff around outside, supervised. I had an afternoon vet appointment and was sure that would be that. But by the time we went to the vet, the cat seemed a bit better, and the vet said many cats do fine when blind. I took him home, and we had 6 months more with him, being a happy, though blind and old cat, every day a gift. Maybe you could have had that gift, too.

  19. Grace
    Grace says:

    One should never talk religion, politics, or euthanizing a pet in polite conversation. But this conversation hasn’t been so polite.

    Penelope, I think the choice you made was fine. You didn’t put the cat in a bag filled with rocks and throw him in the river. What you did was painless for the cat. What gets me are those people who ask, “Is it a farm animal or a pet?” Why does that make a difference? Why is it OK to kill a barn cat(in a less humane manner)? Do you have the cat’s best interest in mind then?

    Why is OK to kill any animal? We make these decisions based on human need, not on the animal’s need and to think that we don’t is ridiculous. When Fluffy is old we think, “Fluffy wouldn’t want to live this way.” We always pretend to know what the animal is thinking. We do whatever we need to do to justify our decisions. And I think that’s OK. It is reality.

    I eat meat, although there is no need for me to when I have access to tasty meatless alternatives. Why do I want the cows to die? Because I like steak. To think that there is any other reason is just silly.

  20. Van Janus Ice Mein
    Van Janus Ice Mein says:

    EVERYTHING dies. everyone reading this post will be dead in 50 or 60 years, may be sooner. so it’s not that the cat is dead now, because it there was a magician that could fix the urine crystals, the cat would still die in a few months or years.
    what we are measuring is the shortening of the cat’s life. God, Jesus, Shiva, Maya, mother Nature, Darwin, David Koresh, Yehwa, whatever your diety is, they are the ones who are the ultimate killers of all things living.

    Your god is a serial killer.

  21. Pete
    Pete says:

    First up, most obvious – why has no-one pointed out that Melissa has a cute ass?

    As for the cat – it’s a cat. Anthropomorphism aside there’s a cost point that city folks just don’t get. In the country death is a part of life, not sealed neatly away in hospitals or only to be observed by the emergency services.
    An animal is an economic unit that needs to pull its own weight or be culled. That may sound brutal but mercy means no food on the table.

    Animals are not people.

    • Rose
      Rose says:

      @ Pete – Read her previous post about this blogger’s humane goat cheese business. You can say the same about a goat- it’s just a goat. But this writer is ‘guilting’ people into buying her products, by ‘anthropomorphizing’ (your word) baby goats.
      I guess that’s what business is all about in this blog. Sell stuff, even if you don’t believe on it.

  22. Pete
    Pete says:

    Rose, I don’t give a flying f*ck about humane goat cheese, I’m here to be informed and entertained.
    I’ve read most of Penelope/Adrienne’s posts and I have a fair idea of what to expect.

    Whilst keeping in mind the edict that arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics, I would point one thing out to you Rose, do you really expect all people to be consistent in all their decisions?

    Because if you do, please tell me which parties full of such people you will be attending and I will avoid them like the plague.

  23. Kristi
    Kristi says:

    This article fascinates me. I didn't like it. I don't like sad animal stories. Why? They are too real. I prefer that all animal stories be cut and dry. I'd say that is how we all want graduate schools to be but they aren't. They can be great and they can be a waste it depends on your own approach and what you want out of it. Pet's and their care is also complex. I am very impressed with your veterinarian. Yes, I said very. Any profession where the provider can state: "I do not judge." Wow, how much personal control and empathy. You did what was best for you. It's hard, it's never clear and it's controversial. We have a pet cemetery too. I have found living on a farm puts you closer to life and death so it's necessary.

  24. carak
    carak says:

    i don’t see the link to the mba school (am i missing something?).

    also, what about bringing the cat (or any future pet that doesn’t do well on a farm) to an animal shelter? maybe another owner would be willing to foot the bill for more expensive food. (or maybe it would force someone else to have to make the decision of keep the cat or put to sleep.) sad story and tough decision, regardless.

    • Tonya
      Tonya says:

      Been to an animal shelter lately? They are so over-full of unwanted pets that they can’t handle what they have, much less have the staff/resources to take care of yet another sick animal.

      Penelope did the right thing – she and her family gave the cat love and a home while they could, and when it got to be too difficult – for whatever reason – they kept him from suffering further.

      I would have done the same, because that’s what I would want done for me if my quality of life/pain level were to deteriorate to a low level. Dr. Kervorkian had the right idea. At least people can love their animals enough to put them down – I wish people had the same LEGAL option.

      But that’s another conversation.

  25. erin
    erin says:

    It’s unfortunate for this cat that it didn’t have an owner/protector that prioritized it’s health and well being. If you can’t accept the responsibilities and expenses of adopting an animal, then you shouldn’t move forward. What an unfortunate example you are to both your readership and your children.

  26. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Seriously, if you can’t spend a few extra bucks for special cat food you shouldn’t have pets at all.

  27. Danielle
    Danielle says:

    Here’s a thought (and maybe someone already said this) but why not ask the vet if someone else who is willing to take care of the cat would like to take it? It seems like there might be someone out there who doesn’t have any other animals, or is willing to feed several cats with the special food. Just an idea…

  28. Kristen
    Kristen says:

    Was it immoral to kill your cat? Yes, I think it was and I’m sure the vet would agree but couldn’t say so. You put your cat to sleep for your own convenience. That is selfish. There were many solutions you could have figured out to allow this cat to live a long life, yet you just did what was easiest. And just because you “live in a part of the world where people shoot extra cats for fun” doesn’t mean that you have to be that way too. It was a teachable lesson for your children about compassion, problem-solving, dedication and creativity. You failed.

  29. Michael Cramer
    Michael Cramer says:

    Get rid of all your other cats or house pets. You obviously are completely clueless in regard to taking care of them or being responsible for them. If you can’t be responsible, or don’t want to be responsible, you should not have cats or any other kind of house pet.

    This is about being a responsible pet owner, nothing more. A responsible pet owner would not have made the choice you did.
    You need to think seriously about what is going on in your life. This probably exemplifies a real blind spot in your character makeup.

    Grow up Girl. Time to become responsible for your choices and actions.

    • Sinead
      Sinead says:

      The link was there earlier. The company probably told Penelope to fuck off after she linked their product to cat killing and labelled it pointless.

  30. Jacki
    Jacki says:

    For someone who claims to be so smart, you certainly are stupid. I used to really look foward to reading your blog. Even if I didn’t agree with or like the topic, it was always well written and thought-provoking. This is such a disjointed piece. At first I thought I was reading about your cat and your family and then within the next sentence or two I am reading about business school. This seems like something you threw together just to post something. Which is too bad. I think you should have just waited until you actually had something to say. Trying to connect the ethical decision of when to put an animal to sleep to the ethical decision of whether to advertise something you don’t endorse is really a stretch.

    “Was it okay to put the cat to sleep? I don't know. But I'll tell you. It's why I like work so much better than real life.
    In work things are clear cut. There is a goal, and you can measure which action gets you to the goal fastest. There are laws to tell you what you can do and what you can't do.”

    With your cat, there was a goal. Cure ailment. The measurable actions to achieve that goal quickly would have been simple – as many of your readers have pointed out – much to your annoyance. And then you launch into this next sentence, seemingly out of nowhere:

    “Here's a site that advertises online MBAs programs. They offered to pay me to link to them. Melissa said, ‘I don't know if you want to. You hate business school.’ It's true, I do think business school is lame. But so what? This is not an ethical issue. They are paying me.”

    So what?
    This is not an ethical issue.
    They are paying me.

    I can’t imagine anyone would be proud to have said that. Awesome, what other lame things that you don’t like will you display on your site for the money? Did you write this lame post just to have a place to put their lame link so you can cash their not-so-lame check? Ironically, that same check probably would have been enough to pay for the cat’s surgery.

  31. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Let’s remember people: bloggers have to post shocking and outrageous material in order to attract attention and generate traffic. While I have no doubt Ms. Trunk actually went through with the euthanasia, I have to wonder…how much of her decision was based on having something provocative to post on her blog?

    • Brad
      Brad says:

      Good point. She hasn’t had a triple-digit comment post in awhile.

      About the link, if she has no ethical problem continuing to claim her advice runs in 200 newspapers (see top of page) why are people surprised that she’s happy to take money from the MBA site?

      She is what she is. A fun read, a poor role model, and perhaps the world’s worst money manager.

  32. Vala Faye
    Vala Faye says:

    Hey Penelope..unfortunately you’re not the only owner who faces such tough choices. I myself have a cat who needs special food as she has food allergies and I have 6 cats myself. There are ways to manage it (the other cats try to steal her food constantly), but it’s not easy. I’m still waiting for someone to make a foodbox activated by her chip, so only she can eat that food :D

    Listen, if you ever run into another cat-related problem though, feel free to contact me. I write on cat-related problems, especially behavioral ones. I’ve also found that vets often have no clue on how to advise people on these types of problems and there’s a serious lack of info available to owners (I worked in an Animal Clinic myself, so I know). I understand you felt you had no other option.

  33. ajones
    ajones says:

    I find it difficult to understand how you actually wrote this blog entry and expected to receive anything other than the reaction you have from your readers. A more fitting title would have been..

    “The easy way out, Murder your cat whilst cashing in online”
     
    You may have been too lazy to come up with a solution but your readers have already offered several.

    The smart answer would  have been to use your blog and this article to find a welcomed home for your sick (but treatable) cat which may have brought you some respect from your readers

    Instead you murder a seemingly happy purring family friend whilst using his death to plug an MBA website in the process. You knew it was immoral or you wouldn’t have had to ask

    Won’t be reading you again thanks. 

  34. rb
    rb says:

    I live in the city now and spend thousands on my pets. When I step back and look at it, it is ridiculous.

    I grew up on a farm. We did not spend much money on vets. People who farm do not generally make big-city wages and have money to blow at the vet’s. Sick animals are culled – that’s just how it works on a farm.

    I’m sure those people who are screaming at you for mercifuly putting your cat down step over homeless people every day in their urban lives without a second thought.

  35. Mary Jane Price
    Mary Jane Price says:

    It’s a cat, not a kid. In a house where children are living, they are the first priority, not the cats. I think when an animal becomes so ill that they need constant attention (attention that should go elsewhere) it’s time to go! And what kind of life is that for a cat, eating crappy medical food and peeing in pain?!

  36. Lisa
    Lisa says:

    I think a couple of people may have missed the point in PT’s response. Not only is it expensive to feed all the cats the medical food but there is NO WAY to keep sick cat from eating non-medical food and getting sicker. Thus, the “locking the cat up to feed it” option doesn’t really solve the problem: The cat will eat OTHER ANIMAL’S food and continue to be sick.

    • Jason Ennis
      Jason Ennis says:

      No way to keep a sick cat from eating other animal’s food? It’s 2011 and we put a man on the moon over 40 years ago. We’ve figured this out too. In fact you can build the thing yourself with a jr. high student for a pretty cool science project:

      http://www.instructables.com/id/RFID-pet-feeder/

      Oh, and I have no opinion on what she did to the cat.

      • Chris M.
        Chris M. says:

        Have you noticed the fact that IT’S A FARM, with all sorts of food the sick cat could be eating everywhere, unless you locked him at home? Just imagine a farm entirely setup with RFID pet feeder, for thousands of animals…

  37. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    No, actually the point is that pets are not toys. You can’t just get rid of them when they don’t work anymore. This was not a farm animal, it was a house pet. If you can’t commit to taking care of them…DON’T HAVE ANY.

  38. dirtywinegirl
    dirtywinegirl says:

    As pet owners we (usually) decide when they go. That’s just what Penelope did. Her cat, her choice. There is no way to know for certain that you are doing the right thing, you just have to decide. We recently put our beloved Mr. Kitty down. He was old and very sick. It was his time because we decided that he had had enough and we had as well. Sheesh, there are some angry judgy people out there.

  39. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Well, if you knew anything about cats you would know that urine crystals are not that big a deal. Cats get them all the time and if you take care of the condition properly the cat can go on to live a healthy happy life. So no, its not a question of choice so much as how responsible are you willing to be.

  40. No Way.
    No Way. says:

    Are you kidding me? The cat needs a special diet & you toss her to the curb?? With all your readers maybe you could ask one of ’em to take the cat instead of ends it life, there are other choices available to you.

    And your trying to open up shop for a Humane Goat Business?? You may want to re-think your new Start – Up, you can’t even take care of your cat.

    You lost 1 reader here.

  41. Lisa
    Lisa says:

    Having the cat killed was extreme. It’s not something I would have done, and I’ve had cats with the same problem. I don’t judge you for that.

    Taking money for publicizing MBA school that you don’t believe in: I do judge you for that. It’s unethical. It’s wrong. It’s distasteful.

    If you need money so bad, can’t you figure out another way to make it? One that’s more in line with your supposed values?

    I think it’s time to unsubscribe. A shame really. I had enjoyed reading you. Until today.

  42. S
    S says:

    I think you wrote this post to generate controversy. It is not one of your better pieces.

    Also, this statement… “In work things are clear cut. There is a goal, and you can measure which action gets you to the goal fastest. There are laws to tell you what you can do and what you can't do.” …. is way too simplistic.

    In work there are ethical issues all the time. And yes, accepting money to advertise a product you do not believe in is an ethical issue.

    Sorry, Penelope, but this post is lame. I expect more of you.

    ~ S

  43. Corinne
    Corinne says:

    I wouldn’t have put the cat down. I had a cat who had crystals and had to be on special food for the last 7 of his 14 years (I also have 3 other cats – it took very little effort to feed him properly). In the end he passed away in my arms at the vet due to kidney failure. I also had a 16-and-a-half year old dog that I took for massage therapy and acupuncture. He also passed away in my arms at the vet when it was his time to go. My animals are my life and their care and happiness comes even before my own. I wish for a world where everyone felt the same way.

  44. Kay
    Kay says:

    You lost another reader. I had thought of it when you let your friend stay. She had “told” you that she didn’t care about you and your children when she disregarded your wishes and let him in her bed ( with or without her ).
    But the cat did it. Yes, your cat, your choice, but I have cats also….

  45. redrock
    redrock says:

    This blog has become way to depressing. Not just because of the likely unnecessary death of a pet, it has lost an element of kindness, of thinking about others and not only oneself, be it at home or on the career path. It has become much too dismissive of people who do not fit the mold of highly driven entrepreneur, and it has become scattered. The worth of a person is not measured in the exciting lifestyle one leads. I for one am glad that my lifestyle is muchmuchmuch too boring to make it to twitter messages.

  46. awiz8
    awiz8 says:

    I think that Penelope has now been unmasked as having ethics that are ruthless. I think the lesson the Farmer and her sons are learning from this episode is:

    Don’t ever let Penelope think you’ll ever be a burden to her, requiring time, money and effort to take care of when something happens to you. She’ll kill you and write a blog post that states she did it because there was no commensurate return on her “investment” taking care of you, no matter how much you loved her.

    Personally, I think she’s been unmasked as a raging narcissist, after hiding behind her so-called Asperger Syndrome. I think her life is now in a destructive spiral that will either end in her arrest, her “divorce” to the Farmer (even though they aren’t legally married), her ex gaining full custody of the boys, and her eviction from the farm, with no place else to go, once she’s released from prison, sooner rather than later.

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