Comments on: How to put blog comments to good use

By: Jonha @Happiness

Jonha @Happiness — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 23:42:51 +0000

"The key is to be able to tune out what’s not right and to act on what is right, and take responsibility for fixing the roadblocks to doing better next time." There's always bits and pieces of your post that I really like. I copy them on my notebook. These are not the principles that I live by since I don't live by quotes. I just like how true they could get in real life. Sometimes I deal with situations by blaming myself. Then I would listen to a ton of advices and you are right about determining which should I listen to.

By: Ryan Paugh — startup guy, community builder, borderline hipster

Ryan Paugh — startup guy, community builder, borderline hipster — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:36:42 +0000

[...] friend. Not a mentor. I have learned plenty about myself just from being around her, but I don't [...]

By: Major Fleeble

Major Fleeble — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:57:35 +0000

Before the right one comes along, there are only wrong ones. I had a clumsiness that I thought was a symptomatic illness, until I learned about the mystery of near-sighted shoes. The solution made me feel the ground, which made me not clumsy, which made me confident, which propelled me toward the right one just around the corner. If this means nothing, then delete this as not pertinent.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:07:19 +0000

I so agree. Two issues have been (deliberately?) confused here. One is the relationship and the other is ownership of the farm.
Scenario 1. The farmer works on the farm for cash. You are happy to move to the farm with him while he continues to work for cash. If the relationship fails, you leave, and don't claim the farm. If the relationship works, then in the long run the inheritance issue will have to be determined, SEPARATE to your relationship.
Scenario 2. Somehow, the farmer convinces YOU that YOU(!!) have to take up the difficult inheritance issue with the parents. Everything falls apart.
The big question: Why is the farmer not ok for you to move to the farm while he keeps working for cash and everything else stays the same?
Why don't you ask him, P? And let us know…

By: Kathmandu

Kathmandu — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 01:30:17 +0000

Penelope, the extra information you gave this time makes an important difference. I'm going to quote it slightly rearranged to highlight the dynamics:

I wanted to stay at the farm he has now, and not leave. And, I suggested that things would be easier if the farmer worked for cash, as he had been doing, and not worry about the land. And the farmer and the lawyer said no. It had to be the land. The farmer's lawyer recommended that the farmer threaten to leave the farm in order to get an irrevocable inheritance. So the farmer told me that I need to explain to his parents why I will have no security if they can revoke his inheritance at any time. Because with that arrangement, my behavior is always being tested. The farmer told me that if they still didn't want to give him an irrevocable inheritance, then he'd leave with me. I told them that, but in the conversation it became clear, as the farmer distanced himself from me, that he wouldn't leave.

He was using you as a proxy. He wanted the land; he depends on it, but his parents won't give him the security of owning it. He got you to challenge them on his behalf, so he could blame you if the threat didn't work. And that's how it happened. He preserves his relationship with them, because he can claim wasn't trying for the land; it was that devil woman from away! When really he was determined to try for the land, even though it didn't matter to you and you advised him to not worry about it.

By: ms

ms — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 16:46:44 +0000

I married someone with crazy family problems and it's not going to work out. Making you explain to his parents anything is for the birds. You can't fix that, when someone is already an adult and is stuck in a crazy family dynamic. I cannot tell you the pain I am in and have been through because of my husband's relationship with his family.

By: alicyn

alicyn — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:32:52 +0000

Penelope, for some reason, certain things you write about yourself remind me of my own self, too. I'm seriously wondering if I either have Asperger's Syndrome, or we just have a lot in common.

I think it's so refreshing that you are so open and honest about your life and who you are. And I think you actually put a positive spin on things that I would normally think of as depressing, like not really having friends. I don't really have a lot of friends and I don't know why. Maybe some people are just not "having friends" types. Or they only need 1 friend instead of 20. I guess it's all about what you need and what you want, and how you look at it.

By: Blog Comments and Search Engine Optimization

Blog Comments and Search Engine Optimization — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:34:50 +0000

[...] How to put blog comments to good use | Penelope Trunk's Brazen … – I don't usually write about my life in real time, because the difference between a blog post than reads like a diary entry and a blog post that someone would. [...]

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:02:15 +0000

"What work will be like for generation z" I love this blog post! Not only did it touch on my generation (Y) a lot and hit that nail squarely on the head. But it also made me think about the people I am going to have to work with in the future. This gave me much to think about, about what to expect and how I can adapt myself to the ever-changing workplace. Happy Birthday!

By: TwistedByKnaves

TwistedByKnaves — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:13:04 +0000

Ha! enough of this soppy stuff.

I see myself as my own worst enemy.

I'll be lying in wait for myself up at the gulch, ready for a good bushwhacking.

This is disturbingly close to the truth.