I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. We know that people keep less than 5% of New Year's resolutions, and I think a big reason for this is that anything we are trying to change in our lives is really about self-discipline.
I realized this after spending two years reading what positive psychologists have discovered [...]

It’s the time of year when I list my top posts of 2009. When I first started doing this top-posts-of-the-year thing, I felt obligated to actually give you the real version of what was most popular. Now I don’t feel so obligated.
If you’re wondering, some of the posts that brought in more than 400 comments [...]

I am lost. I have been lost before in my career. It’s just that I did not write about it while it was happening. I wrote about it after the fact. That’s much easier. But in the past, during the time I was lost, I simply stopped writing.
For example, I quit playing volleyball and went to [...]

The end of December is one of the hardest times of the year to be unemployed. The peer pressure for good cheer is outrageous, the financial pressure of gifts is huge even for those with a steady paycheck, and the constant catchup with friends and family means everyone will ask, “how are you doing?”
Here are [...]

My company, Brazen Careerist, partnered with PayScale to come up with a list of the Top 50 Employers for Gen Y. The list is based on what we at Brazen Careerist know about Gen Y and the new workplace, and what PayScale knows about slicing and dicing workplace data.
To me, the most interesting thing about [...]

It might be that the only useful thing you ever learned in school (besides how to make small talk at a party) is how to ask a good question.
Most of us didn’t learn that, though. Because it’s so hard to teach. I know it’s really hard to teach because people with Asperger Syndrome don’t understand [...]

This is what I thought yesterday: I thought, today is the day I’m going to start going to the gym again. I am certain that no one recovers from sadness until they go back to the gym: Endorphins, routine, self-control, these are all the pieces of getting back to normal.
I have said, every day for [...]

It's my birthday. I'm going to give a gift to myself today. I'm going to post five posts that make me happy.  I hope you will like reading them. I hope you haven't read all of them already.
Also, maybe in the comments section, you will post your favorite post back to me. And tell me [...]

I don’t usually write about my life in real time, because the difference between a blog post than reads like a diary entry and a blog post that someone would want to read is usually just time passing.
So time passing means that even though I get a ton of comments, I do not usually run [...]

It looks like a lot of people are coming here from the article in the San Francisco Chronicle: Big City Blues, Could a more affordable life, away from the Bay Area, actually be better, by Rob Baedeker.
Here are some of my most popular posts about figuring out where to live:

I'm moving out of New York City
How [...]

When I was in the mental ward, it was mostly girls in their teens with messed up track records and eating disorders. But my roommate was from Kellogg, a top-ten business school.
I thought it was insane that she was there. She was so smart. She was going to be great at work. Her only problem [...]

The guy who sold me my car cancelled the plates the very next week. Luckily, I didn’t know that because there was a November expiration sticker on the plate. So the fact that I was driving the car illegally for three months did not bother me. Until now. But now I’m at the DMV.
I know [...]

The workplace is set up to reward extroverts. For example, ENTJs make up only 3% of the population but they comprise a wide majority of the world's CEOs. The bias against introverts in American society is well documented, including research that shows that a spot on the cheerleading team foreshadows career success much more reliably [...]

I think its safe to say that for the majority of people, Thanksgiving is not about goodness and gratitude, but rather, family drama.
Until now, I have been pretty much on the outside of this American tradition: The tradition of building up Thanksgiving to be a great family moment and then the family not living up [...]

The first step to growing a good career in the face of Asperger's Syndrome is to recognize that this is a social skills deficit, by definition, and work, by definition, is a social skills decathlon.
I have written before that for me, the biggest problem at work stems from my own sensory integration dysfunction – something [...]

Some days I look through old posts, reminding myself of posts that I've written that I like and that I should link to. Often, this process serves to let me procrastinate writing while pretending to be engaged in writing. If I were a body builder, this would be me looking in the mirror instead of [...]

It’s clear to me that emotional intelligence is the most important skill for success in adult life. And the consummate career application of emotional intelligence is the sales department. So I’m fascinated by sales.
I used to think I’m not that good at sales. For example, I’m an open book—I have very little ability to bluff or [...]

I have always thought that blogging is a way to reach your career goals. It’s hard to write a blog if you don’t have a goal. You need to know what blogging success looks like to you, so you know what you're aiming for.
Like most goals in life, my definition of blogging success has shifted [...]

I have found that the best way to manage myself is by asking for a lot of help. The question is, how do you know who to take advice from?
The answer is not always intuitive. For example, you'd think that if Bill Gates wants to give you career advice, you should take it, right? I [...]

Last year I traveled almost every week. Some weeks I traveled to three different cities.
If you are excited about business travel, thinking it’s a free ticket to see the world, you should stop reading now. But if you are having trouble maintaining your personal life in the face of tons of travel, these tips from [...]

I wake up Wednesday at 4am to a phone call: The Guardian, in London, asking for an interview about my miscarriage twitter. Then a half-hour later, an Irish radio station. And then the phone kept ringing.
I tell Now Magazine (I think it’s basically People magazine for the UK audience) to call back after I got the [...]

Someone once asked me to think of a moment in my childhood that was really nice. I thought of one.
Wait. You think of one, now. Quick. Just any one…
So I thought of a time:  it was in my grandparents’ huge yard with fruit trees and flower gardens and grass for running. And it was so [...]

My ex-husband worked in the nonprofit sector for a while. And you know what? He rarely got health insurance. At one point, we were completely stressed out about not being insured, and he asked his boss what everyone else was doing, and she said, “Can’t you get insurance from your spouse? That’s what we do.”
That’s [...]

Eighty percent of adults with Asperger Syndrome do not have full-time work. This not because they can’t do the work. It’s that they can’t manage to be socially acceptable while they get the work done. ‘
Countless studies show people would rather have pleasant and personable co-workers than a co-worker who is always right. I try [...]

Here’s the deal with giving flowers. Women like receiving flowers. Men think flowers are stupid.
Men think: Flowers die, they don’t do anything when they are alive, they are expensive, and they are a cliché. Men know that women in general like flowers, but men also believe that women they know personally do not like flowers. [...]

The farmer broke up with me five times the first five months we were together, last year. So I learned that he had huge commitment issues.
I tried to do the advisable thing to do when you’re with someone who has commitment issues. I tried to fall in love with someone else. But I didn’t. I [...]

Everyone knows that the best way to get a job is to leverage your network. And almost everyone knows that social media is a great way to build your network.
But many of you are making lots of social media mistakes. I know because so many people tell me that social media is a waste of their [...]

The best writers in the history of the world are graduating from college, right now. So everyone can just shut up about how no one can write anymore.
Newsflash: No one could write in the Middle Ages, when the good writers wrote in Latin and everyone else spoke colloquial languages like French and English, which priests [...]

How far you get, in almost anything, is limited mainly by your ability to ask good questions.
The problem is that we are not taught to ask good questions. We’re trained to answer questions. But only answering questions doesn’t make an interesting life. After all, if you have all the answers, and you’re spewing them all [...]

I was in the process of setting up Dora the Explorer for my four-year-old so that I could make breakfast. But when Yahoo popped up on the screen, I paused. Then I said, "Look. There's President Obama. He won a big award."
My son said, "For what?" Then he pointed to an advertisement for Target — [...]

Stop thinking that you are such an incredibly wide-ranging thinker with so many interests and insights that you cannot be pinned down to just one topic. The top bloggers are all wide-ranging thinkers. That’s why they are interesting. The more information and angles you can draw from, the more interesting your insights are.
I challenge you [...]

Embedded video from CNN Video
I don't usually post clips of myself when I go on TV. But I'm posting this one, where I talk about trying to get an abortion in Wisconsin and end up with a miscarriage at work instead. It was a difficult interview, which is why I like it. And, remarkably, I [...]

A lot of people ask me how I manage to keep a job when I have Asperger syndrome. So I'm doing a series this week on the topic, because it’s true that most people with Asperger’s are not doing well at work. The work place rewards social skills, and people with Asperger’s have a social [...]

People often tell me that I should write career advice for people with Asperger Syndrome. This is because I am surrounded by people who have Asperger’s, and I have it myself.  Please, do not tell me I don’t have it. First of all, it looks very different in men and women, and most of you [...]

I starting to think that the most effective preparation for a good career is religion.
I am writing this post on the eve of Yom Kippur. I am constantly trying to figure out how religion fits in my life. Sometimes I think it doesn’t fit. I mean, I’m a Jew dating a pig farmer. And I [...]

Here is my advice about job hunting long-distance: Forget it. It's not going to work for most of you, and you'll need to relocate before you get the job. But for a few of you, there's hope for a long-distance job hunt will work. So, here's some advice if you must make it work:
1. Pitch [...]

Recently I ran the following twitter:
"I'm in a board meeting. Having a miscarriage. Thank goodness, because there's a fucked-up 3-week hoop-jump to have an abortion in Wisconsin."
Why the uproar over this twitter?
Not only have bloggers written whole posts about the disgustingness of it, but 70 people unfollowed me, and people actually came to my blog [...]

We reorganized the company today. We brought in a new, interim CEO, who’s not me. For many entrepreneurs, that is their worst nightmare.
But I couldn’t be happier. For one thing, it’s a sign that my company, Brazen Careerist, is doing well. Remember when the company was running out of money and my electricity was getting [...]

I usually leave work at 2:30 to pick up my kids. But on days when I ditch the kids and work to go to the farm, I allay my guilt by staying at work well after 2:30 so everyone will think I stayed late. I call the farmer when I’m on the road because I [...]

It’s 9/11 again. And for the last seven years, I’ve written on this day about how I have grown since the World Trade Center. I was standing next to the first tower when it fell.
Mostly, I don’t think about 9/11 anymore. Well, not on a daily basis at least. But, for example, I so seldom [...]

Self-knowledge can solve all your problems. Because it's more difficult to understand what your problem is than to know how to solve it.
Most of the time we actually have the knowledge we need to solve a problem, but we don't like reality, so we pretend to not have the knowledge.
This reminds me of the bazillion [...]

What I'm listening to right now: Amanda Blank. Here's a song to play when you're not at work.
Amanda is a white-girl rapper, darling of the hipsters, and hot-girl candy for the intelligentsia. Right up my alley, right? My favorite line so far is "My rhymes are painful and fresh/My p*ssy's tastin' the best."
Today, Ryan Healy [...]

A good manager is someone who makes everyone feel like he or she is creative in their work. Because creative work is the most fulfilling work, and we are each capable of that kind of work.
My favorite research on this topic is from John Mirowsky, professor of sociology at University of Texas, Austin.
Mirowsky finds that [...]