After reading Caitlin's comment, I can't help but wonder who this important person was, who was so effective at manipulating you? It's easy to figure out why someone would do something like that, if you happen to have spent any time around pithy little snits, especially in the domain of the wealthy class, where around 98% of the people had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with acquiring the wealth they are so good at spending. But, didn't you grow up around teenage girls in middle-school and high-school? You must know that many of these adolescents never really do grow up and become adults, don't you?

The funny thing is, if you had ignored the comment and gone about your business and enjoyed the party, she probably would have bolted and come back in an outfit similar to yours in no time at all. But then, what would you have written about?

Whoever it was, if she didn't notice what a great job she did by your reaction at the party, she sure knows about it now after reading your post.

Penelope, the reason why these kinds of people know about you and read your blog is because your blog is successful and you are the influential one, probably not the other way around.

Of course, I'm assuming some hidden meaning here in what might really have been an innocent compliment, but your reaction leads me to think other wise, of the dark places.

Come on, whoever you are. We know you're out there somewhere in Penelope-land. Fess up and clear the air here, will ya?

Steve C.

I love your comment because I grew up in an environment – very working class – where people said what they meant (oh, yes, were very loud). I married into a family that was the opposite and it took me a long time to adjust to the words and the meanings not matching. I will say that it did help me in the business world.

"But she greeted me with a hug and she said, 'You look so nice.' Which means, 'You are overdressed.'"

If someone told me I looked nice, I would smile and say thank you. Not as a mask – unless someone is obviously being sarcastic, I tend to assume that people mean what they say.

Maybe that's an indication of lack of emotional intelligence because I do know intellectually that people don't always mean what they say.

But actually, I think my instinct is quite useful because pretending not to notice subtle digs is a very good defence mechanism – their words simply fall flat and my lack of reaction takes any sting or power out of it. So my reaction tends to be the same regardless of what I think the other person's motivation or intent is.

Also, I don't think being slightly overdressed is a big deal. If someone came round to my house for a barbeque wearing a party frock, I would probably exclaim "wow, you're all dressed up". But I would mean it in a good way. Even if everyone else is wearing jeans I think the dress is fine. Being underdressed is far worse.

If they amputated your navel, what would you spend your day gazing at?