Comments on: The hardest part of my job is that everyone lies about parenting

By: Cherri Porter

Cherri Porter — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:35:00 +0000

Loving your children and wanting to be with them all day are two different things. Penelope said nothing about love.

By: Midianite Manna

Midianite Manna — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:46:00 +0000

Since you like research, here are some of my favorites:
Ask Moxie http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/
Motherhood is not for Wimps http://damomma.com/ (although unfortunately she had to stop her amazing blogging to, you know, make money and raise kids)
And here's my own post from earlier this year: http://midianitemanna.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-love-you-really-now-fuck-off.html

By: Midianite Manna

Midianite Manna — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:40:00 +0000

Seriously? Stop reading magazines, if that's what you're after, and read more blogs. I don't read bloggers who romanticize parenthood because there's nothing there for me. I read about other hardworking, confused, loving, stressed-out, often-bad-parenting parents because it gives me a reality check and a lifeline. And some laughs, which is really the only thing that can get you (and your kids) through family life.

By: Paul

Paul — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 22:00:11 +0000

The same narcissism that leads a person to believe he/she should be on physical display as some kind of physical ideal leads a person to make it appear he/she is an ideal parent with ideal work/life balance. Both are destructive the normal rest of us.

By: Rainbow McBryan

Rainbow McBryan — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 18:15:47 +0000

Great article. I get a hit of mommy porn in the doctors office while I wait for my doctor appointment. I went in to see the Doctor about my chronic fatigue I have had since about a year into my full-time job as a single full-time (sole custody) mother. He is telling me that I need exercise as the antidote to my fatigue, but with my work/parenting, there is no time and I am tired.

I was lied to and believed whole-heartedly that I could safely and would succeed as a single mom (by choice) and a professional working mom. My physical abilities have been de-conditioned. I never lost the weight put on by pregnancy so in addition to carrying the awkward weight of my child and the extra 50 lbs, I now suffer from all sorts of ailments: adult onset asthma, chronic cough, GERD, sway back pain brought on since working and raising a child by myself.

Having a weekly cleaner and daycare wasn't enough. I just hired a homemaker (AKA wife) to assist the morning routine to have more relaxed time with my son in the morning and to have some down time while my son is still in daycare and I am off work. It's expensive, but the truth is that raising kids takes two people and a good income.

My doctor's diagnosis: I have not recovered from the process of child birth (my son is four) and that is reassuring for me. He wants me off work for 6 months. I think he should get rid of the mommy porn in his office!

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Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:39:02 +0000

[...] That's when I read an article on Penelope Trunk's blog The Brazen Careerist called The Worst Thing About My Job Is That Everyone Lies About Parenting. The day I read that post I breathed a huge sigh of [...]

By: ActuallyDelicious

ActuallyDelicious — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 03:50:50 +0000

There's no fact-checking team scouring JLo's house every time Marc throws out a quote. :-)

Also, even if he's responsible for the kids, he didn't explicity point out that he's also doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, and all that jazz that goes along with raising a child.

By: rachel

rachel — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 20:40:32 +0000

I had a job as a residence manager for a residence with 12 emotionally disabled women. The residence was a 24 hour fully supervised residence, and I was responsible for the residents and a staff of about 25 full and part-time workers.

I had to wear a beeper 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (this was before cellphones), and occasionally took clients who threatened to hurt themselves or others to the hospital. I dealt with client attacks, a grueling work schedule, and no free time.

And I'll say it easily: when I quit work to take care of my then 8 month daughter(who broke her leg in two places at the babysitter-that's another story altogether), IT WAS STILL HARDER TO BE AT HOME.

There is nothing like parenting: in addition to the general management skills you need to run a house, you need a certain amount of skill to be able to understand your children and know how to deal with the issues they have and the challenges they present.

I know a lot of moms who just can't handle this level of intimacy being at home requires of them. So they make it look like being at work is glamorous and doable.

But I'll say it again: I worked 10-12 hours a day with a nursing baby, and that was STILL easier than being at home. Not just easier, but more immediately satisfying in a way. You do a job, it gets done, and stays done. Your boss likes it, your coworkers notice or commiserate with you.

It takes courage, guts, and committment to be a stay-at-home. I think it's about time for some Stay At Home Mommy Porn.

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 16:48:16 +0000

I love the term "mommy porn" and you are so right… If we could just all be honest about how god damn hard it is to be a parent, then I'm sure we'd see a lot less anxiety and anitdepressive medicine going over the counter…

The problem is that everyone is trying to live up to something that isn't real… IMO.

By: Robin Perkins

Robin Perkins — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 08:13:33 +0000

Hmm. One day I hope that women and men can make meaningful choices in their own lives and not have to defend the decision to anyone. Children are great, and hard, and frustrating, and terrifying. Get through it with the best grace you can, love them, love yourself….and fu(* the rest.

Robin