New way to measure blog ROI

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I got an email from this guy who told me he thinks I need a friend on a farm. I think he wrote the email right after I wrote about being a pint-sized ENTJ on the estate-sized front lawn of my grandma’s house. I am not sure how he knew I am fascinated with farms, but I am. And I’m always curious about how family farms work here in Wisconsin: what life is like, and why do people keep choosing that?

He invited me and my kids. He told me the farm was more than an hour out of Madison. Ten minutes out of Madison is farmland, so more than an hour out is really hard core. I went to a farmer’s market with my oldest son to check out the farmer, to make sure he wasn’t an ax murderer or something.

To be honest, I couldn’t tell from looking at the farmer’s market. Really, even an ax murderer has to have a job. I asked for his phone number, in case I got lost on the way to the farm. He told me it was a party line — a term I haven’t heard anyone use in real life. He also said his parents might answer the phone.

“You live with them?!?!” I tried not to sound judgmental. I write all the time about how living with your parents is a good idea. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how Norman Bates lived with his mom.

The farmer said, “Don’t worry, I’m not Amish.”

I thought that was charming. I mean, of course I didn’t worry that he was Amish because I don’t know anyone who is Amish. I didn’t even know there were Amish people in Wisconsin. But you can learn a lot about someone by how they choose to reassure you. And somehow this was so genuine that I was, actually, reassured.

The farm was really in the middle of nowhere. It was in Wisconsin, but it would be a suburb of Dubuque, Iowa, if Dubuque had suburbs. I had to call twice because I thought I was lost. Both times, the farmer said that I was actually following directions just fine.

The farmer lived in a town of 500 people. None of whom I could see from his farm.

I parked my car in the middle of his dirt road. Or his front lawn. They were sort of the same. There were fields everywhere. It was every farm: Red barn, white house, green fields.

The first thing I said to him: “What are you doing out here? All alone? Who do you talk to? You don’t even have a real phone.”

He smiled. He said he had friends.

I looked around and decided his friends were very far away.

It turns out, though, that his friends had kids. He had “city friends” and they brought their kids to visit the farm. The place was tricked out for kids: a rope for swinging, baby chicks to hold, baby pigs to pet, and ten cats he let my son feed. We walked to the field with the cattle, past the hens and roosters, alongside the vegetable garden that was for the pigs to eat, stepping through the barbed-wire fence. The farmer scanned his field for the herd of cattle, and my son held his hand while we traipsed toward the cattle.

“I don’t get it. You read my column and sent me an email to come to your farm?”

“I wouldn’t send an email to a syndicated newspaper columnist. I saw the note at the bottom of your column about your blog. So I started reading your blog. And then I bought your book. And then I wrote to you.”

“You read career advice?”

He thought my question was funny. “I’m an entrepreneur. And I read your blog because you write a lot about entrepreneurship.”

“You’re an entrepreneur?”

“Farming is changing a lot. It’s a lot like what you say about how corporations won’t take care of you and you have to take care of yourself.”

The farmer told me about how the buy-local movement is great for his farm. It’s increasing profits for farmers who can shift their business model.

He called out sort of a bird call (but deeper, for cattle) and the herd walked toward us. I thought there would be a stampede like in a movie, but they just came to say hi.

My son fed grass to snot-dripping Angus cattle and I asked the farmer if these cattle are those organic, grass-fed cattle that I see at Trader Joe's.

The farmer said that they are hormone free and grass fed, but he doesn’t get certified organic. It’s just jumping through hoops for the government and he doesn’t need to do that in order to sell to socially conscious restaurants. I liked that he was cutting corners. I liked that he knew which details to ignore.

I asked him how he knew what to write to me in an email, and he said that today, the family farm is about marketing. “It was a sales pitch,” he said. “I thought you had a problem and I thought I could solve it.”

I thought of all the problems I have and tried to remember which one he said he was solving. I felt like there were so many he could solve, but if he had mentioned them all, I’d have never responded to his email.

On the way back to the house through the field, he told me he thought I needed a place I could go that was peaceful. He told my son not to step in cow pies. We ducked under the electric fence. He told me it wasn’t on, but he wanted us to practice because it might be on the next time we came.

I got excited that he thought there would be a next time. I thought my life could be very peaceful here, as I looked out on the fields like they could fill my days. I made a note to see how much it would cost to get wireless Internet at his house.

We arrived at the farm at 5pm, so I brought dinner. My son and I are two of the pickiest eaters in the world, but I wanted to bring something that the farmer would like to eat. I brought chicken wraps and vegetable wraps. And I brought bagels for me, because I eat them almost every meal. I brought desert so I seem fun. And I brought popcorn for my son because that’s one of the only things I know he’d eat that would occupy him for the duration of an adult meal.

“I know there’s a lot of food,” I said. “You can keep what we don’t eat.”

“I don’t know if I’d eat it all,” he said. “Maybe you should take back the cupcakes.”

“Just throw out everything you don’t want,” I said.

I looked at the farmer. That did not go over well. “Um. You don’t throw out food, do you?”

“Not really. No.”

I thought about throwing out an Angus steak that I grew and slaughtered myself. It would be impossible. I didn’t know what to say. Next to my farmer, I looked less like an environmentally-conscious city person and more like a heathen.

I told my son he had to eat two mini-Gouda cheeses before the popcorn. Mostly for show. So the farmer thought I didn’t let my kid eat popcorn for dinner. The farmer had never seen Gouda cheese. So he put one on his plate. Along with a bagel.

The farmer asked if we give thanks before a meal. I looked at him, speechless. I think because I want to be a person who gives thanks, but I could tell he was a person who really did give thanks.

He asked if it was okay. And how could I say no, it’s not okay to give thanks?

So the farmer thanked God for our food and our safe trip.

And my son ate extra cheese and looked very healthy.

And I thanked God that my blog introduces me to people who can change my life.

_______________________________________________________________

Other posts about the farmer:

How I started taming my workaholic tendencies

Self-sabotage is never limited to just one part of your life

Think of networking as a lifestyle, not an event

156 replies
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  1. deepali
    deepali says:

    So I took a break from reading your blog after I got frustrated, and came back to read this. Probably my favorite post ever.

  2. Laura
    Laura says:

    The stereotypes from this post are just sad. It’s pretty amazing to me that someone so educated assumes that a farmer is an ax murderer and not competent or savvy enough to read career books and run his own business (which is what farms are!). The farmer is clearly a patient and understanding man. He has must deal with “environmentally-conscious” food wasters a lot.

  3. AC
    AC says:

    My dear friend recently turned me on to your blog for career advice – I think she’s tired of listening to me floundering… And I’m a huge fan already. This post really struck a chord with me since my career, conservation of farmland, is aligned with this content. AND I’m fellow ENTJ who totally respects and admires modern farmers for their entrepreneurship. I’m feelin’ what you’re layin’ down, woman. kudos.

  4. Spike
    Spike says:

    Penelope, Madison is an ithsmus in more ways than one, in that its surrounded by a world quite different than its own. Madison is very liberal however most of Wisconsin is not. Prayer before dinner is a good thing. In Wisconsin it's also common. (Go Badgers. Go Packers.)

    Though I don’t mean to disrespect Sophie, these are horrendous overgeneralizations.

    Everything is more complex and complicated than black or white. Having just moved from Madison after five years there, I can tell you that Madison isn’t as liberal as one thinks, and Wisconsin can’t be painted all with the same brush.

    People who live on farms aren’t all the same. Just as people who live in the city, or on the Isthmus, are not. We aren’t all one thing or another. We don’t ALL concern ourselves with the Badgers and Packers.

    What I think many people label as “liberal” is what I liked the most about Madison and what Penelope embraced – an openness to new experiences. Some old-timers will wear their Monday clothes and bring their Monday lunches, but many others look for a way to both explore the universe around them while honoring where their journey started from.

  5. Mark
    Mark says:

    Just discovered your blog, after seeing somebody tweet about your I hate David Delafield (or whatever the name was) post. Liked the GenY piece today, and the varied & spirited commentary it inspired, so looked up some of your best of’s and came across this farm visit. Took me back to some of my best childhood memories of my grandfather’s IN farm. Learned some great life and business lessons following him around there. Your post reminds me that I need to find ways to expose my son (8) to a sample of life on a farm. Which, as several readers have already pointed out, is hard effing work.

    Thanks for telling this story.

  6. Never listen to a bachelor
    Never listen to a bachelor says:

    Penelope, congratulations, you just wrote a better girl meets boy plot that I have even seen on the tube. You have a true gift for the description of authentic and edgy human complexity.

    I see your work on Youtube TV -something you can help pioneer, or even cable TV, a mash up between reality TV and the smarmy romances on the Hallmark channel.

    You can pioneer the romance channel on Youtube. Compelling characters, intersecting, maybe even bumping in the night, but life goes on…

    I would watch it and I step around the Kardashians like stepping around a turd.

    I would dare say that your everyday office experience between Gens X and Y would entertain. You could do a variation on the History Channel- will the house be successfully moved before the tide come in… as if you need help with creating tension and drama.

    The romance angle could riff off everyday work. Oh, how fun.

    Oh, and Prickly Pear is just a first syllable.

  7. Mike Compeau
    Mike Compeau says:

    How refreshing and pure.

    But then, that’s the Wisconsin I grew up in– way north in Spooner, where most of the folks all give Thanks before meals, and even most of the city kids know what not to do on or around single strand electric fences. Some may even know how to call in the herd.

    Congrats on finding some peace. There’s more to Wisconsin than trite “That Seventies Show” quips and insults.

    The world is a smaller place through technology, and the coasts could use a bit of exposure to what makes the heartland distinctively appreciated.

  8. Stacey Benjamin
    Stacey Benjamin says:

    I love the story about the farmer!! I think it’s great to live amongst animals since they show you what is important in life. Simply put, animals love you if you love them. This is a great contrast to a lot of men, for example.

  9. Lorraine Murphy
    Lorraine Murphy says:

    I love this tale. A person can learn so much about themselves and others when taking a few calculated risks (like being reassured by email responses).
    Thanks for the lovely reminder!

  10. afila
    afila says:

    hello. I come from Indonesia and I lived in a small village where all people working as farmers. lucky I found your great post. you tell me about the situation there is not much different from the neighborhood even though I was away with you.
    so I say. this great post.

  11. Zero Radius
    Zero Radius says:

    What a fantastic story! I hope you do get a chance to return many times. While my family doesn't own a farm they do have 120 acres of land in the middle of Nowhere-Michigan. Our kids love it , they get to get away from the city and just unwind.

  12. nomansland
    nomansland says:

    What an outstanding blog. I am always amazed one you find a handful of blogs that actually put the time in that’s required to make a worthwhile blog. Most of the blogs out there show the time invested. I will book mark this site.

  13. ilan ver
    ilan ver says:

    so i dig the post as i live the dream: once a small time entreprenuer, now small time bureaucrat during the week, entreprenuer farmer by weekend. its a beautiful thing, trying to direct responsible best business practices by weekday and trying to direct responsible best land practices by weekend.

    i want to thank everyone for their supporting comments to penelope's blog, their interest in eating local; for experimenting with their food; being concerned with how the land is being used; and where their food comes from.

    we appreciate it.

  14. Araba İlanları
    Araba İlanları says:

    hello. I come from Indonesia and I lived in a small village where all people working as farmers. lucky I found your great post. you tell me about the situation there is not much different from the neighborhood even though I was away with you.
    so I say. this great post.

  15. MLM Training
    MLM Training says:

    A perfect example of how a blog post can be compelling, authentic, and transparent without recourse to sensationalism or controversy of any kind.

  16. Dan Morris
    Dan Morris says:

    I think the insight about the farmer’s non-Amish reassurance was interesting. I can’t quite grasp what the farmer thought of Amish people. Is that like an account executive saying “don’t worry, I’m not a car salesman”?

    Anyway, that’s an interesting cultural perspective.

  17. Obubu Staff :: Ian
    Obubu Staff :: Ian says:

    2.5 months ago I met a tea farmer from Kyoto, Japan (Kyoto Obubu Tea Plantations), who spent his winters giving tea tastings around the world. 2 months ago, I fell in love with his business model–using the Internet to allow farmers and consumers connect. E-commerce has done so much to give farmers a voice, remind people that people create the food they eat.

    More farmers should get involved in the concept of not only e-commerce but also Internet-based Community Supported Agriculture — when their produce can be shipped anyway. But, this example of having people from very far away come to the farm shows that even if their produce cannot be shipped to individuals, the farm’s “community” does not have to be limited geographically. Inspiring.

  18. Mark Keightley
    Mark Keightley says:

    My grandfather had two farms that I visited twice a year growing up. Now I own my own Landscaping business after being a CPA for several years. Farming is a big business with large capital outlays for land and equipment. It is a weather dependent business which can be a bad thing. The great thing about being an entrepeneur is that you control your own destiny. You need to excel at many different things, especially marketing, which is how I found your blog. I could have taken over my grandpa’s farm but found the isolation of the country to restrictive. I love big health clubs, great restaurants and well educated people to converse with. The farm is a great place to visit and unwind, though. I actually lived in the country for three years and found it wasn’t for me.

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  20. April Jones
    April Jones says:

    Loved the story. What does a city girl wrapped up in the blogging world talk to a farmer about? My how things have changed. I wouldn’t think of myself of meeting a farmer even if he read my blogs, but who knows? Any cowboys out there?

    Anywhoo I like the part about religion though. We should all give small thanks every day for the blessings we continue to receive….even if its Gouda cheese!

  21. SouthCaGurl42
    SouthCaGurl42 says:

    Hi Penelope,
    I read your blog often. I found it through Amazon.com – Kindle. I look forward to is every week! I love that you are exactly my age and you sometimes have talked about Generation X (our generation), and Gen Y, Millenials…and Baby Boomers (our parents).
    Anyway, Congratulations on your Marriage to the Farmer!!!!
    Yeah!!
    At first, I thought my gosh, she’s gonna go live on a FARM! A farm!?? But you know what! It sounds quite exciting! And very different from the suburbs/coastal beach area that I live around! I think it is great you have lived in different places. Really, this I believe will be very good for your kids too!
    Anyway, I am happy for you and you are quite open with your life on your blog…and that is very interesting to me. I so wish I could be as open but I am not a writer and I believe I would be “boring.” ;-)

    Anyway, I love that you talk about your faults, strengths and everything in between!

    Keep blogging! I look forward to it every single week!

    CaliGirl in San Diego
    (coast)

  22. igor Griffiths
    igor Griffiths says:

    The best part of being an entrepreneur is getting to physically meet the people that you would never think of interacting with normally.

    However, I have not gone to the level of meeting people in the middle of nowhere, seen The Texas Chainsaw massacre and that was enough for me….

  23. Best Washer and Dryer
    Best Washer and Dryer says:

    I think the insight about the farmer’s non-Amish reassurance was interesting. I can’t quite grasp what the farmer thought of Amish people. Is that like an account executive saying “don’t worry, I’m not a car salesman”?

  24. Coleman Powermate Generator
    Coleman Powermate Generator says:

    So i dig the post as i live the dream: once a small time entreprenuer, now small time bureaucrat during the week, entreprenuer farmer by weekend. its a beautiful thing, trying to direct responsible best business practices by weekday and trying to direct responsible best land practices by weekend.

  25. Rick Spearman
    Rick Spearman says:

    Just want you to know I like your blog — think you’re a terrific writer. wow . . . good on the farmer for sending you an email.

  26. Sunny
    Sunny says:

    I love this post. It recreates (perfectly) my first experience on my aunt and uncle’s farm (also outside of Madison) as a young, wide-eyed Californian transplant. The juxtaposition of city and country lifestyles, but with the same common goal of “eat to live, live to eat” always makes such a heart-felt story. I also love the fact that the farmer shunned the governments monopoly of “marketing” a holistic approach to living!

  27. Wenko
    Wenko says:

    Hi Penelope…I just discovered your blog today and I’m hooked. (I’m from the Philippines that’s why) Anyhoo, your love story with the farmer is so sweet, I would love to see this made into a movie but of course true to the real story and not all hyped up. I wish you and the farmer happiness and success. Cheers!

  28. los angeles seo artist
    los angeles seo artist says:

    Interesting way to measure ROI. ROI can be a tricky figure to calculate when referring to that of a blog. Your story really illuminates the minute detail required to calculate such an elusive number. The cats are in the hat and the number crunchers are doing their work.

  29. ipod.com
    ipod.com says:

    Thanks for Tips for coping when your startup is out of cash. I am trying to start a business, finish college, hoping I am saying all the right things and saying the right things is something I find so hard. I want to be a project manager and I think I was going to have an opputuniy but I did not step to the plate because it was a lot of money at steak what if I fell

  30. Lape
    Lape says:

    Hi Penelope,
    I know I’m reading and commenting on this blog (3 years) late but I thought it would still be a good idea to say I really like this particular post. Maybe because I feel like I’m a hard-hearted person but I’m deeply romantic inside so this (romantic) post really appealed to me. I love the way you described things like your conversations with the farmer like the part where he said he had friends and you looked around and thought to yourself that his friends must be very far away. That really made me smile. But the whole post made me smile. Thank you for writing it. :-)

  31. Heroine Worshiper
    Heroine Worshiper says:

    Always fascinating to see how a marriage starts & compare it to reality. It didn’t start in a bar, nightclub, or real life, but with a cold email asking a heroine to come to his farm. Most importantly, HE HAD SOMETHING SHE NEEDED. It wasn’t about soulmates, the easter bunny, or feelings, but STUFF.

    She wasn’t afraid of him, didn’t assume he was a stalker, & 2 years later married him.

    Plenty of women would assume he was a stalker to know she was interested in farms, read through that much of her work, & to ask her in the 1st email to come to his farm. Most women immediately shut out men who do that.

    Most of them have a vision of how their marriage is going to start, usually in a bar, with love at 1st sight. If it doesn’t fit the pattern, they don’t bother. They won’t respond to email for fear of having another man from their past pop up when the next boyfriend comes.

    Yet here someone did bother with something that didn’t fit the pattern.

  32. Julie
    Julie says:

    What a great story. I got completely sucked in by it and now have to read the rest. I know I’m a little behind in the blog, but can’t wait to read the rest of the love story.

  33. Lance Murray
    Lance Murray says:

    Hi Penelope,
    I got to your blog from Promo Mktg article about 15 habits.
    I have been a recruiter for almost 26 yrs and found your
    blog totally delightful. Thanks Much….gonna refer you
    all over the place!! Cheers, Lance

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