Comments on: Effective ways to wrestle your biological clock http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sat, 20 Mar 2010 01:07:43 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: JEN http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-220781 JEN Mon, 15 Feb 2010 02:22:00 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-220781 Penelopoe - I would love to hear your thoughts on starting some kind of campaign with AMA publications or something on this issue. What infuriates me more than anything is that until I was married my OB/GYN did not say anything about my fertility....well, actually, he said nothing after either. It's not until I actually asked him jokingly that I needed to worry about the clock ticking at the age of 31 that he said, "Well, you know fertility starts to decline at 28." I almost fell to the floor. I really didn't know. I went through basic fertility treatments, mostly education and a few rounds of Clomid. Despite all of this, I got pregnant on my own both times on vacation. I am eeking out my second child before my 35th birthday and feel blessed but extremely resentful. I was married early and neither my husband nor I knew any of this. We are both in high profile careers (law) where having children before the age of 32 makes you practically a teen mother. If you aren't around people who tell you these things and it's socially taboo, you just assume. Doctors (I assume) think that we are all feminazis who are going to attack them if they speak candidly with us. During all of this, I learned about my cycle. I never knew about my cycle. The panacea of birth control pills had given me ultimate freedom to be ignorant of my biological clock since the age of 18. Or did it? I would have rather known what the symptoms of ovulation are and all about my cycle. My children will likely think I am nuts, but I am going to tell them both (even my son) about the need for them to take control over their lives and understand that there are some things that you have to be deliberate about. I think it is shameful that my doctor saw me for 4 years of my married life without telling me that my fertility was declining after the age of 28. He knew my mother had went through menopause early - still, nothing! One hour with my reproductive endicronologist, and I went home and poured a stiff drink. 31 wasn't old, but with my history, it wasn't great. Two years of Clomid, charting and several miscarriages later, I was still "unexplained infertility" but finally pregnant. No one can ever undo the damage that feeling impaired in this way can do to someone. I would have much rather gotten pregnant in my 20's and complained about it being inconvenient. Alot of people say that you would have to be under a rock not to know about infertility, but I think that women who are well-educated are really sheltered from this information, ironically. There is some establishment message from the feminists that went before us that you have to postpone kids to succeed. It is such a lie. Penelopoe – I would love to hear your thoughts on starting some kind of campaign with AMA publications or something on this issue. What infuriates me more than anything is that until I was married my OB/GYN did not say anything about my fertility….well, actually, he said nothing after either. It's not until I actually asked him jokingly that I needed to worry about the clock ticking at the age of 31 that he said, "Well, you know fertility starts to decline at 28." I almost fell to the floor. I really didn't know. I went through basic fertility treatments, mostly education and a few rounds of Clomid. Despite all of this, I got pregnant on my own both times on vacation. I am eeking out my second child before my 35th birthday and feel blessed but extremely resentful. I was married early and neither my husband nor I knew any of this. We are both in high profile careers (law) where having children before the age of 32 makes you practically a teen mother. If you aren't around people who tell you these things and it's socially taboo, you just assume. Doctors (I assume) think that we are all feminazis who are going to attack them if they speak candidly with us. During all of this, I learned about my cycle. I never knew about my cycle. The panacea of birth control pills had given me ultimate freedom to be ignorant of my biological clock since the age of 18. Or did it? I would have rather known what the symptoms of ovulation are and all about my cycle. My children will likely think I am nuts, but I am going to tell them both (even my son) about the need for them to take control over their lives and understand that there are some things that you have to be deliberate about. I think it is shameful that my doctor saw me for 4 years of my married life without telling me that my fertility was declining after the age of 28. He knew my mother had went through menopause early – still, nothing! One hour with my reproductive endicronologist, and I went home and poured a stiff drink. 31 wasn't old, but with my history, it wasn't great. Two years of Clomid, charting and several miscarriages later, I was still "unexplained infertility" but finally pregnant. No one can ever undo the damage that feeling impaired in this way can do to someone. I would have much rather gotten pregnant in my 20's and complained about it being inconvenient.

Alot of people say that you would have to be under a rock not to know about infertility, but I think that women who are well-educated are really sheltered from this information, ironically. There is some establishment message from the feminists that went before us that you have to postpone kids to succeed. It is such a lie.

]]> By: ' + title + ' - ' + basename(imgurl) + '(' + w + 'x' + h +') http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-146890 ' + title + ' - ' + basename(imgurl) + '(' + w + 'x' + h +') Mon, 05 May 2008 02:38:01 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-146890 [...] with terrorists and comas. (Oh, and if you want to read a really pathetic slice of blogland, hold your nose and click on [...] [...] with terrorists and comas. (Oh, and if you want to read a really pathetic slice of blogland, hold your nose and click on [...]

]]> By: The rare woman tech start-up founder » 16th letter » Blog Archive http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-146664 The rare woman tech start-up founder » 16th letter » Blog Archive Thu, 01 May 2008 03:51:23 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-146664 [...] believe this is such a major factor because I read Penelope Trunk’s blog, which, honestly,  scares  the  hell  out  of  me. (Go read some of those posts, you’ll fall in love with her [...] [...] believe this is such a major factor because I read Penelope Trunk's blog, which, honestly,  scares  the  hell  out  of  me. (Go read some of those posts, you'll fall in love with her [...]

]]> By: What’s Life Got to Do With It? Career & Identity Confessions of a Bride-to-Be « Little Red Suit http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-142022 What’s Life Got to Do With It? Career & Identity Confessions of a Bride-to-Be « Little Red Suit Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:46:18 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-142022 [...] wrestle with that, with planning for kids, with career plans, with expectations, with all the trappings of being a modern women that are more [...] [...] wrestle with that, with planning for kids, with career plans, with expectations, with all the trappings of being a modern women that are more [...]

]]> By: Personal PR & Identity Confessions of a Bride-to-Be at Personal PR http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-140912 Personal PR & Identity Confessions of a Bride-to-Be at Personal PR Fri, 04 Apr 2008 23:38:10 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-140912 [...] wrestle with that, with planning for kids, with career plans, with expectations, with all the trappings of being a modern women that are more [...] [...] wrestle with that, with planning for kids, with career plans, with expectations, with all the trappings of being a modern women that are more [...]

]]> By: finance girl http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-138513 finance girl Sat, 15 Mar 2008 20:59:55 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-138513 100% agree Miss P. Unfortunately, as you know, from personal experience. Career opportunities will always (likely) be there. The ability to have children will not. Any woman who thinks, even remotely, that she wants kids, should make that a #1 priority over focusing on career, because guess what? Fertility is at it's peak in a woman's early 20s, and starts decreasing significantly in late 20s, with huge cliffs at 35 and 40. Highly anti popular to say, but absolutely true. 100% agree Miss P. Unfortunately, as you know, from personal experience.

Career opportunities will always (likely) be there.

The ability to have children will not.

Any woman who thinks, even remotely, that she wants kids, should make that a #1 priority over focusing on career, because guess what?

Fertility is at it's peak in a woman's early 20s, and starts decreasing significantly in late 20s, with huge cliffs at 35 and 40.

Highly anti popular to say, but absolutely true.

]]> By: Dale http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-138436 Dale Thu, 13 Mar 2008 20:07:37 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-138436 There is no easy answer for this one. I just wish that I knew in my youth what I know now, and had the maturity to act on it. I guess that's where good mentors/parents/role models and effective education for young people come in. College is probably the best place to become aware of this stuff I think. Any suggestions on that? There is no easy answer for this one. I just wish that I knew in my youth what I know now, and had the maturity to act on it. I guess that's where good mentors/parents/role models and effective education for young people come in. College is probably the best place to become aware of this stuff I think.
Any suggestions on that?

]]> By: Dana http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-138408 Dana Thu, 13 Mar 2008 09:36:54 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-138408 And I'll tell you the same thing women in other countries that push having babies are no doubt saying to their governments: Make it worth our freakin' while. Sign pay equity into law. Don't penalize us for staying home with our kids. Quit selling us short. Why should we have tons and tons of babies if we're just going to find ourselves poorer than men our age when we hit retirement? Besides, have you looked at the population stats lately? Besides, I don't buy this aging-egg hypothesis. I suspect it's like a lot of other things we "know" about the human body, only to find out otherwise later: we made some not-so-educated guesses and now they're gospel. It's like the thing with Down's syndrome. This is nearly universally blamed on older mothers. Here's a bee for your bonnet: The majority of cases of Down's are caused by trisomy-21, which means that in the process of meiosis (the formation of germ cells, or sperm and egg cells), something split the wrong way. BUT WAIT. Science tells us a woman is born (well, as a girl) with all the eggs she'll ever have her entire life, right? Well, if that's true then there is NO process of meiosis involved in grown women. We already have our eggs. So how the hell are we responsible for trisomy-21? I know we all like to talk about how men are fertile all their lives. Well, here's another bee for your bonnet. Researchers are finding more and more connections between the age of MEN and the incidence of birth defects. Because, unlike with women, men are CONSTANTLY in a state of meiosis, CONSTANTLY making new sperm cells. As they get older and have put themselves through all manner of abuses (frat-boy drinking/pot-smoking? so on and so forth?), they damage their DNA. And are women more likely to have younger husbands or older ones, who therefore have more damaged DNA? Even in sperm? Hel-LO? Either (a) women have a set number of eggs for our whole lives and never make any more, thereby we are not to blame for Down's, or (b) scientists have LIED to us about whether we make more eggs, and we don't really have to worry about aging eggs. Either way. And the bottom line is that women have to take care of ourselves financially because God only knows the government isn't doing it and God sure as hell knows men aren't doing it and God will forgive me for invoking Him in a political argument, because He sees. You got any better ideas than establishing a career in our twenties, I'd LOVE to hear them. Men leave, men get disabled, men die. We are not delicate little hothouse flowers--we have got to be prepared for those eventualities. Shoot, *I* have had to face those eventualities TWICE. Had no career. Put the family first. Am in poverty now. If any of you ladies out there don't want your career and high pay, I'll take it! And I'll tell you the same thing women in other countries that push having babies are no doubt saying to their governments: Make it worth our freakin' while. Sign pay equity into law. Don't penalize us for staying home with our kids. Quit selling us short. Why should we have tons and tons of babies if we're just going to find ourselves poorer than men our age when we hit retirement?

Besides, have you looked at the population stats lately?

Besides, I don't buy this aging-egg hypothesis. I suspect it's like a lot of other things we "know" about the human body, only to find out otherwise later: we made some not-so-educated guesses and now they're gospel. It's like the thing with Down's syndrome. This is nearly universally blamed on older mothers. Here's a bee for your bonnet: The majority of cases of Down's are caused by trisomy-21, which means that in the process of meiosis (the formation of germ cells, or sperm and egg cells), something split the wrong way. BUT WAIT. Science tells us a woman is born (well, as a girl) with all the eggs she'll ever have her entire life, right?

Well, if that's true then there is NO process of meiosis involved in grown women. We already have our eggs. So how the hell are we responsible for trisomy-21?

I know we all like to talk about how men are fertile all their lives. Well, here's another bee for your bonnet. Researchers are finding more and more connections between the age of MEN and the incidence of birth defects. Because, unlike with women, men are CONSTANTLY in a state of meiosis, CONSTANTLY making new sperm cells. As they get older and have put themselves through all manner of abuses (frat-boy drinking/pot-smoking? so on and so forth?), they damage their DNA.

And are women more likely to have younger husbands or older ones, who therefore have more damaged DNA? Even in sperm? Hel-LO?

Either (a) women have a set number of eggs for our whole lives and never make any more, thereby we are not to blame for Down's, or (b) scientists have LIED to us about whether we make more eggs, and we don't really have to worry about aging eggs. Either way.

And the bottom line is that women have to take care of ourselves financially because God only knows the government isn't doing it and God sure as hell knows men aren't doing it and God will forgive me for invoking Him in a political argument, because He sees. You got any better ideas than establishing a career in our twenties, I'd LOVE to hear them. Men leave, men get disabled, men die. We are not delicate little hothouse flowers–we have got to be prepared for those eventualities. Shoot, *I* have had to face those eventualities TWICE. Had no career. Put the family first. Am in poverty now. If any of you ladies out there don't want your career and high pay, I'll take it!

]]> By: on wrestling your biological clock « original remixed http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-138281 on wrestling your biological clock « original remixed Sun, 09 Mar 2008 16:43:03 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-138281 [...] Penelope’s March 2 column on “Effective Ways to Wrestle Your Biological Clock” has generated some buzz and I wanted to write something in response. It’s basically a [...] [...] Penelope's March 2 column on "Effective Ways to Wrestle Your Biological Clock" has generated some buzz and I wanted to write something in response. It's basically a [...]

]]> By: Sanne http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/comment-page-2/#comment-138278 Sanne Sun, 09 Mar 2008 11:15:48 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/02/effective-ways-to-wrestle-your-biological-clock/#comment-138278 I'm in my mid-twenties and have decided to stay childless by choice (childfree), and your article just made me even more sure of my decision. The idea of having to degrade myself to a panicked uterus on legs on a desperate husband-hunt before my eggs hit their best-before date, is not my idea of living life with dignity. I'd then rather forego on kids all togheter, so I can take my sweet time finding my soulmate, rather than just dating everything with a penis before 'the clock runs out'. I'm in my mid-twenties and have decided to stay childless by choice (childfree), and your article just made me even more sure of my decision. The idea of having to degrade myself to a panicked uterus on legs on a desperate husband-hunt before my eggs hit their best-before date, is not my idea of living life with dignity. I'd then rather forego on kids all togheter, so I can take my sweet time finding my soulmate, rather than just dating everything with a penis before 'the clock runs out'.

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